A voice from the grave..

Tuesday
October 28, 2018

Good morning! Welcome to my world of rambling thoughts. It's cloudy, warm, and the leaves from the big tree are falling steadily to blanket my gardens. I itched and scratched all night so my mind and body are tired. My back scratcher got a real workout ... looks like I got whipped! I haven't been eating much sugar and yesterday I over indulged. Yikes! Back to eating healthy.

One crazy thing I like to do is visit old grave yards. It's the first place I head when I return to my hometown, Glenwood, Minnesota. I walk among my ancestors, talking to them and feeling such a peaceful presence. Oh if only they could talk back to me. Well, maybe they do from the written stories left behind, newspaper clippings, and stories passed on from generation to generation. My maternal ancestors were more salty while my paternal ancestors more sweet. I'd like to think I'm a perfect combination of both. (Smile)

My friend, Sharon, tracked me down Sunday morning and handed me a hand written poem copied over 60 years ago by her great grandmother Eutha. Sharon said, "I'm supposed to give this to you." I couldn't wait to get home to do a little googling to see what I could find out about this lady who was speaking from the grave. I learned she was a daughter of Elex and Rosa; wife of Charlie; mother to Ofelia, Celeste, and Wesley; AND, sister to Grace, Hilman, Claude, Arthusa, Ruby, Fay, Carl, and Cecil. I know she was born in Mississippi in 1900 and died there in 1997. Other than that, the Internet was silent. My curiosity still peaked, I read and reread what she wrote. I prayed that she would help me understand why these words from an unknown author meant so much.

A Strong Faith

I've dreamed many dreams that

 never came true.

I've seem them vanish at dawn.

But I've realized enough of my 

dreams, thank God, 

To make me want to dream on.

I've prayed many prayers when no 

answers came

Though I waited patient and long.

 But answers have come to enough of 

my prayers 

To make me keep praying on.

I've trusted many a friend that failed,

And left me to weep alone. 

But, I've found enough of my friends 

true blue

To make me keep trusting on.

I've sown many seeds that fell 

by the way,

 For the birds to feed upon. 

But I've held enough golden

  sheaves in my hands, 

To make me keep sowing on.

I've drained the cup of disappointment 

and pain. 

And gone many days without song. 

But I've sipped enough nectar 

from the roses of life 

to make me want to live on.

I don't know about you but when I copy and pass something on, it means something to me, it's touched my heart, and I ponder over it's content. That being said, I wonder if this poem mirrored Eutha's life and made her as real in 2018 as she was in the 1900's. I think so, she knew someone, including me, needed to read this.

We have dreams; we have faith; we pray; we weep; we sow seeds; AND, we experience joy, pain, success, and failure. Life is a journey, a tale of our walk alone and with others. In October 2010, I began to tell my story via my blog Family for Better or Worse. I have four years of blogs  published and hopefully I will be able to publish additional years. No one in my family will ever need to wonder who the real Dottie was and is. I have invested in a continual learning process, my family, the people who have joined me on my walk, and being a servant to my Lord. The legacy I leave behind will be one of love and encouragement. If I can, you can!!

My life is not how I hoped it would be yet it is my life. To wallow in self-pity and isolate myself hasn't been an option. I have learned to live in plenty and in famine. My worth is not defined by either for God says I am His. I was hand selected to be placed on the front lines of God's army and given strength to do what I need to do. You see, I made a decision to surrender my life to Him and THAT DECISION has made all the difference!

Peace be still... Miss Dottie

PS I ALWAYS encourage my Readers to journal their life's story. How else will people remember you and your purpose if you don't share it. Thank you Eutha for sharing just a bit of what was in your heart and thank you Sharon for keeping this bit of your great grandmother alive!

Spins, Swerves, Recovery...

October 6, 2018

Glad to be alive and ramblin' this Saturday in October:

The first words coming out of my mouth yesterday morning were, "Thank you Jesus and thank you Graycie."

Spins and swerves..  Late Thursday afternoon I was headed from Hillsboro to Whitney for a quick visit with my friend, dinner with another friend, and to attend an evening meeting. I had just reached 70 mph and was sailing. There were two cars in front of me. (Thank God I'm not a tailgater!) In a split second I saw the second car slam on his brakes. Smoke was coming from his tires as he swerved to the right to avoid hitting car one who had stopped to make a left turn. As he swerved, his car began to spin and we were dancing on the pavement ~ I had no where to go. I stomped on my brakes and my car began to fishtail and smelled like burnt rubber. I avoided spin one and narrowly missed spin two. The driver of car two finally got his car under control and zoomed on down the road. Graycie, recovered from the swerves beautifully and maneuvered like a race car (she's a feisty old broad!). I was thankful that I had learned to drive on icy roads in Minnesota. I thought I was going to need to hit the ditch to avoid hitting his car but at the last second, I was able to straighten out and avoid disaster. Graycie smelled awful but I was singing, "Thank you Jesus for saving me..."

Recovery..  Life's like that isn't it? We never know from one moment to the other when a tragedy may strike or we're dodging bullets. We can do everything perfectly and still, accidents happen, we choose the wrong road, the weather grows wicked, we lose jobs, family and friends pass away, fires break out, we get ill, and on and on. I am human and get weary when trials come back to back asking my Father if I've pissed Him off. That's human nature. When that happens, I go back and read the book of Job ... "The Lord gave, the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord."~1:21 That's sure a tough pill to swallow when you're at your wit's end.

All that being said, there are times when I wonder just how often the Lord has prevented accidents, saved my butt from bad decisions, opened doors where there seemed no possible way, and closed doors leaving me whining 'cause I didn't get MY way.  Ouch!!

Today..  I guess I could concentrate on the stupid driver in front of me and how he wasn't paying attention. I could concentrate on how close I came to meeting my Waterloo in a deep ditch. I could moan and groan about my sore neck, sides, and stress headache. I sure could, but I won't.

What I am doing is soaking in my claw foot tub, taking Ibuprofen for my aching neck and right side, and meditating on the beauty of life itself.  I am so grateful to be alive and kickin'.

Peace be still!

PS  I truly believe that every challenge we successfully conquer serves a purpose to not only strengthen our confidence and our ability to master future obstacles. 

A Thursday Morning in October..

October 4, 2018

Miss Dottie's ramblin' thoughts this beautiful sunny Thursday morning in N Central Texas:

As I prayed this morning, I began to realize that God has wanted me to be still, to listen, to use my eyes to see, my heart to feel, and my common sense to rule. If I truly believe in the power of the Almighty, then, no matter what, "things" are going to be okay.

Let's ramble!!

Do NOT be afraid ~ finding serenity.. I woke up extra early this morning and my mind was darting from this to that ~ my chest was tight, my breathing labored, and salty tears flowed from my sleep filled eyes. I literally had to get out of bed to refocus, replacing all the concern and frustration inside of me with purpose, truth, and asking God to direct my steps. Associate Pastor Rick at church had posted some words from the book of Nahum in the Bible and I slowly read each word. "The Lord is good, a strong refuge when trouble comes. He is close to those who trust in him." Amen!

"There is a way that seems right to a man 

but its end is the way of death."

~Proverbs 14:12

My way or God's way.. My mother used to tell me that some of the first words out of my mouth were, "I can do it." I was a bossy, stubborn little girl hell bent on being independent and self sufficient. I used to love the song sung by Frank Sinatra, "I Did It My Way."  Then, I reached a time in my life, where I wanted to live my life God's way and I surrendered my will to Him. I began to read and study my Bible. I took the class The Mind of Christ and applied it to my thinking and doing. I had mentors come alongside me and worked a 12 Step Program. I put aside my flawed thinking and, instead, began to walk in the light.

Trials in America.. These past weeks, I witnessed something in our nation that has nearly ripped my heart apart. As I began to put my independent thinking cap on, I shut out emotion and began to concentrate on facts. Having been molested myself, commissioned as a Stephen's Minister to come alongside women going through life's trials, worked with battered women, plus, my career time as a relationship coach, I always tend to wrap my arms around the victim. In this case, it took me a long while to identify the victim as well as examine the law of the land whereas a man or woman is assumed innocent until proven guilty. I spent hours doing research and listening before making up my own mind. Perception is NOT fact.

Faith.. My faith in the Almighty gives me peace as I know that EVERYTHING IS FATHER-FILTERED. My sadness comes from the evilness that has surrounded this entire ordeal. People have become sheeple allowing influential orators and the media to brainwash them. Creeps me out!! I had been a proud Democrat for years but no more. I am a strong successful woman who has worked in Corporate America and built my own businesses. At one of the places I worked (in the 1980's) it was a game among the women to see who could seduce the men (especially executives) to their benefit. I've lived long enough to remember the sexual escapades held in the White House and among our elected representatives including Presidents. Yes, I remember lots of STUFF that the media has turned a deaf ear to. Oh the hypocrisy of today.

Feminism.. Women received the right to vote in 1920 which gave us power at the ballot box for change. We still have that right. I believe in peaceful protests and free speech. I may not like what you say but I will defend your right to speak. Am I a Feminist? Nope. Why? I have been embarrassed at how women have chosen to parade naked, shouting obscenities, and blaming men for all the discord in their lives. God says we are equal. If that is true then both men and women are responsible for their choices. MY choices have resulted in some nasty consequences and I take full responsibility for them. There are good men and some evil men ... there are some wonderful women and there are some that are evil to the core. I CANNOT take the side of women who lie, cheat, steal any more than I can a man. WE ARE EQUAL AND SHOULD BE LOOKED AT EQUALLY.

12 Steps to Freedom.. If you have ever been addicted to anything (alcohol, work, porn, drugs, bad people, food, the rush of danger, etc), you know the shame, the trials, and the memories that keep you in bondage. If what you did wrong defines you for your entire life, then, I guess you should just put a scarlet letter on your forehead and be whipped daily. You might as well remain in prison. Right? NO!!!! Jesus Christ said, "Go and sin no more." He has declared me forgiven and worthy!

Today.. I am remembering the Prayer of St Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek 

to be consoled as to console;

To be understood as to understand;

to be loved as to love.

For, it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

And, it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Peace be still!

Miss Dottie

PS  I sat on the jury of a trial where a man (the husband of the babysitter) was on trial for molestation. The 5 year old victim took the stand and the whole trial that lasted several days still haunts me. We found the man guilty but my spirit never rested (I was a hold out). Several years later, the father of the boy came into my office as a new member of the dating service where I worked. I introduced myself, explained how I knew him, and asked about his son. He said, "The man was not guilty, try living with that." He left and I never saw him again. Why am I telling you this? I don't know... Maybe, it's just that it bothers me that I helped convict an innocent man.

On the flip side, I was involved in a nasty situation, went through a 6 1/2 hour deposition where my life was turned inside out and upside down. I answered pages and pages of interrogatory questions and was stripped of my dignity. My story made the front page news and I lived in fear. I quickly found out that the scales of justice were tipped in favor of those who could afford unscrupulous attorneys to defend them and WIN. The guilty, in my case, went away unscathed. THE GOOD NEWS? In the end, God used my pain for good as I was on the Board of Directors who established the first Women's Shelter in Collin County Texas. Yes!

Always remember that God loves you and I do too!