Time Stands Still for No Man!

Phew!  It's been awhile since I've done a blog.  I've been at the little casa and working my (ahem) off.  We started this renovation project just a year ago and, would you believe, we're still at it?  Somehow, I think that we will always be doing something there because that just how old houses are!

The older I have gotten, the faster the days seem to go by.  Seems like yesterday we had a snow storm and here it is, April, and the flowers are blooming and nature is exploding with the newness of life.  I came back home to roses going crazy and my garden looking pretty dapper!!  I started my gardens the spring of 2004 and they are maturing nicely and not needing so much care.  It's a different story at the little casa.  All the grass died in the backyard and basically, other than trees, it is a blank slate.  Because the house is so small, the yard is very big.  Dad S's tools are getting a good workout!!

I am so very grateful for my days ... when you get to be a "senior citizen" the certainty of death is never far away.  I go to the nursing home to see Mom S and am surrounded by people living their last days.  Mom's roommate is younger than I am; however, Paula has MS and I'm afraid it's taking her down rather quickly.  Today, it was difficult for her to talk and move her hands so I helped her with some lip softener.  She had a tear in her eye as she whispered, "thank you."  Mom had her shower today, her hair fixed and was ready for therapy to strengthen her arms and legs.  She was feeling down and achy and wasn't keen on my trip home for a few days.  I think she thinks of me as a bit of a security blanket.  As I jumped into Lily to begin the drive home, I felt sad ... being a caretaker is a constant reminder of my own road ahead of me.  I fight it, but I know it will come...

The trip back home was long and gave me time to think and reflect.  I wanted to run ... I wanted to make the most of my day ... I called my daughter and left a message for her ... I talked with Michael to catch up on what needed to be done when I got home ... I looked at the Bluebonnets and pulled over to photograph them ... I wanted to cram as much as possible into my day!  Time won't stand still ... it just keeps marching on.  For some reason today, I wanted the clock to stop so I could catch up on life.  There have been so many times I've taken my life for granted and slept when I should have been doing.  There will be time enough when life will slow down to a slow rumble and I, too, may be one of those living in a tiny room wondering "why didn't I do __________".

Life itself is such a gift ... a gift to be cherished and NEVER taken for granted.  Each season of life has it's purpose and is to be savored.  As a young mom, there were days when I was tending a colicky baby that I wished that child would be "out of that stage".  Even then, there didn't seem to be enough hours in the day to do all I wanted to do.  Then, I realized "first things first."  I've always been a good manager of time and, like most women, able to multi-task so I've managed to accomplish much in my life.  The one thing I think I did miss was the "savoring of the moment."  I bit off big chunks time and time again and swallowed without tasting ... Today, I can enjoy the beauty of a well-prepared meal accompanied by laughter and fellowship and stay in the moment.  Ah, yes ... I want to cram as much as possible into my days, spontaneously making the most of each opportunity to love and be loved!!

Having Fibromyalgia has taught me to grab my good days with both hands and to be patient with myself on the days my body aches and I can't do what my mind wants to do.  Michael says I do more with Fibro than most people do that are without it.  I don't know ... I think I recognize it more when I have to say "no" and take care of myself.  I've always been on call for my family ... now, I do what I can when I can.  I don't know why I feel guilty about that but I do.

I have a new friend at the little casa.  We have so many different things in common and have lots of fun touring the little Texas cities around us.  How does that old ditty go?  "Make new friends but keep the old ... one is silver and the other gold."  I have been fortunate to have been blessed with wonderful friendships over the years and cherish the many memory making moments shared.  My friend is like me in that she too fills her days with moments of laughter and fun.   I like that! There is one thing that separates us and that is a love of the Lord, Jesus.  It is my prayer that she will see Him in me and come to know Him as her savior.  She seems to have a phobia against organized religion stemming from a very strict religious upbringing.  I won't mention the church but I have heard her story all too often from those raised in this religion.  Sad...

Yes, time stands still for no man ... time marches on never skipping a beat ... always moving forward ... At the end of my day I look back and take stock ... did I miss anything?  Do I need to make amends for any hurts causes?  I'm not afraid of doing that now for I am an empathetic person and I am able to put myself in someone else's shoes.  I rest in knowing that I did all my Lord asked of me...

"...not since it began, nor till it ends - time unrelentingly rolls on.  Each moment, either wasted or spent wisely, becoming no more than a memory as it slips into the unchangeable past ... But though each moments becomes little more than a memory, yet the effects of what is said, thought, and done, in that moment live on."~~Scott Armstrong

May the sweet scent of the rose fill your senses with love and life!!  Always remember, you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!