Through the looking glass

February 21, 2012

What an absolutely gorgeous day.  Michael fixed coffee this morning and we sat outside listening to the birds chirping.  While we were out there, Mom called inviting us to the Mardi Gras party at Town Hall Estates.  Whenever there is a party, Mom is in the center of the festivities.  She LOVES having a good time.

We got dressed up and headed for the nursing home.  We were a few minutes later than what we had told Mom and she was in a dither and thought we had abandoned her.  After calming her down, we wheeled her on down to the party room.  Oh my goodness, they had masks, beads, balloons, horns and root beer floats for the residents.  They had brought in a lady with a karaoke machine and cleared the floor for dancing and singing.  She had a bit of a cold so Michael offered to help her out.  He has a wonderful deep baritone voice and really got things hopping.  Several of the patients got up to sing ... how fun for them to strut their stuff!  One lady tossed her walker aside, grabbed the hand of an aide and did a mean twist!!  Mom lasted about an hour and a half without her oxygen and we wheeled one tired lady back to her room.  She was all smiles and said it was one of her best times ever!!

Have you heard of the book, THE MAN IN THE MIRROR?  Well, I woke up this morning thinking about that book and the words, "through the looking glass" kept coming at me.  When that happens, I need to pay attention to my thoughts and meditate on what it means to me.

First of all, I thought about looking into a mirror.  If my friends and family were polled, what would they see?  Then, if I looked very closely at my heart would I see the same person?  I think there are psychological tests to determine that, aren't there?  I know that the healthier the person the closer the two views are.  But, then, who really knows???

"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves."~~Francois de la Rochefoucauld

Change is difficult at best, and seeing ourselves in the naked truth quite painful.  I have so much respect for those who go through twelve steps and are able to do the tough stuff.  If our "self" depends on what others think of us, dare we expose ourselves and risk further abandonment?  That's a tough question, don't you think?  I enjoy talking to and reading about people who have walked through the fire of life and, although they carry scars, they have a smile on their faces and pep in their step.  They are the ones that reach out and touch lives.  I've been fortunate to have been a part of some classes and groups where it has been okay to be totally honest without fear of judgement.  If we are works in progress then that's all that counts.

I have been so gullible when it comes to people.  If someone tells me something I take it as truth because I am truthful.  I forget that there are people out there that take advantage of people like me.  I remember talking with my family physician many years ago about being duped by an entire family.  He explained to me that he had been taken in several times by manipulators and because they are so good at lying, they truly believe their own lies and can pass a lie detector test.  I've learned to be more aware.  That makes me sad but it is a sign of our times.

My mind has come full circle and I am smiling thinking about those folks at Town Hall Estates.  Life's not fair is it??  There are those there in their forties and fifties that have had strokes or other life altering issues.  Then, there are those who are in their nineties biding their time before they meet their maker.  It felt so good to watch them smile.  It takes so little to brighten their days -- Mom is fortunate to be in a good place where she is loved and cared for so tenderly.  Oh, she complains but that's okay too.  I might do the same if I were in her shoes.

All in all, it's been a wonderful day filled with love and laughter.  After we got home, mom called and said that a lady came up to her after we left and asked her who that man was that sang.  Mom stated proudly, "That was my son."  "Oh," the lady replied, "I was wanting to get his autograph."  Life can be quite simple, can't it and our kudos come from unexpected people for our random acts of kindness!!

Don't forget those elderly folks in your lives.  We'll be there one day hoping, just hoping, that someone will brighten our day with a visit, a phone call, or card.

Take gentle care, my friends, always knowing

that you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Other things may change us, but we start and end with family."~~Anthony Brandt

One box at a time ... one day at a time...

February 19, 2012

It's a pretty "Son"day in North Texas.  I sat out on the back porch, sipping on my cup of coffee, and gazing over my gardens.  Some of the perennials have started poking out of the ground and it won't be long until new growth sticks up from the shrubs and rose bushes.  Each Spring, I marvel at the rebirth of plants and trees that lay dormant over the Winter.

I spent the morning listening to Joel Osteen and other various preachers on television.  As usual, Joel gave a great sermon and I felt that surge of energy to get off my duff and start readying for another move.  As of right now, I have packed six boxes of my beloved Johnson Brothers Friendly Village dishes.  Michael watches me from the couch ... he is sickly.  I am trying to make mental notes of putting together a plan for the next couple weeks ... order tables for a garage sale, get permit, price things, move boxes to Central Texas into storage, and on and on...  It is my hope and prayer that everything will go at the garage sale even if I have to give things away.

Michael was thinking that some of my homemade chicken soup would make him feel better so I have put the chicken on to simmer.  It sure smells good!  While I'm at it maybe some fresh bread would be good too!  I find myself getting distracted and pulled in different directions...  

Day brightener!!  Just got off the phone with my friend, Elaine.  We are making plans for a rendezvous for six of us next July.  She said we would make some homemade pizza (with hot dogs of course!) and have a grand time!!  Pam sent me the web site of the lake house we are renting and it looks glorious!!  I just know we will have a wonderful time laughing like we have since we were in kindergarten!!  I will plan to stay on a week or so and do some digging to find more information on my mother's side of the family and also hope to connect with cousins and my brother and family.  More adventures to look forward to!!

Dr. Sorin showed me how to do some exercises to strengthen the muscles in my neck.  I do them three times a day.  Like anything new, I can feel the pull in my neck which is good.  I remember the days when I did weight lifting and went to the gym five days a week.  I was rarely sick and able to move mountains ... well, almost.  I think what made it fun was working out with family and coworkers.  One of my coworkers at that time was a former Playboy Bunny and she wanted to keep her bunny tail in shape.  he he  I see folks my age competing in marathons and staying fit ... I wish I had a fondness for training but I don't.  I like the results though!  I will have plenty of yard work to keep me busy at the little casa so will be fit as a fiddle in no time.  Go Miss Dottie!!

I am looking around me and wondering what to do next.  I picked up a book and found myself drawn to reading a chapter or two.  I found some family photos and was drawn into yesteryear.  Focus, Dottie, focus!!  I laugh ... now I know why some people live in one house all their lives and never move ... they die and leave the cleaning out to their family!!  Upsizing doesn't have the challenges as does downsizing.  In the end, we leave it all anyway!  I giggle ... I never did like having someone clean up after me so the more I do and give away the better it will be.

One of the girls next door is practicing her flute.  I will miss those four young ladies ... they like to hang out the windows of their upstairs bedrooms and peek over the fence to greet me.  The twins were babies when they moved in ... now they are in second grade.  Goodness how time flies!  They've grown up before my eyes ... I've grown older in theirs!  Wasn't too long ago and they asked me, "Miss Dottie, what happened to your dark hair?"  I smiled and replied, "Well, my son and daughter shaved my head and this was the color that grew back."  Their mouths gaping open, they exclaimed ... "Reaalllyyy?"  All kids love a good story.  This one happened to be true!

I've stalled long enough and it's time to get back to sorting and packing.  My chicken soup is nearly done and I have a husband who is singing for his supper!  When I think about it, didn't the Lord tell us that we were to rest on the seventh day??  Tomorrow will be a good day to pack ... no, wait a minute, we meet with Lupe tomorrow at the little casa.  Tuesday ... Tuesday, would be good!  Somehow, I know that with a few days of expert organized flurry, things will get done and we will be on our way to our next destination!  Did I ever mention that I am the proverbial optimist??

Wherever you are and whatever you're doing, I wish you love and joy!!    I hope that you've enjoyed your "Son"day as much as I have enjoyed mine.  I am signing off and will be on to my next job ... that of chef and server!!

God bless you and yours real good!!! 

  

Making old new again...

February 18, 2012

As John Steinbeck simply said, "the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry." My plans to go to Trade Days and pick up boxes yesterday got postponed.  Michael had flu symptoms and spent the day in bed.  I may just need to pick up the phone and have boxes delivered if I'm going to get anything done.  My daughter sent me a text message asking me if I was procrastinating.  Probably so...  I just look around me and sigh...

Do you repurpose?  I've been reading about people who repurpose clothes, furniture and on and on.  We've become such a throw away society that I'm very happy to see us reusing or giving to someone in need.  The farm my mother grew up on is a perfect example of using "everything."  Meal scraps were fed to the pigs, cats, and dog.  The Sears catalog doubled as toilet paper in the outdoor "biffy" (as my mother called it).  I wonder how in the heck they managed to walk out into the woods mid winter to use the bathroom.  Brrr!  Who ever heard of paper towels??  My mother had a seven day set of dish towels for drying dishes and a basket full of rags for cleaning.  Holes in socks were darned and worn jeans were set for extended wear with iron on denim patches.  We had "Sunday best" clothes and "Sunday best" shoes.  Babies got hand me downs from friends and family as did growing children.  It was always such a treat to get a new school outfit for that first day back at the desk!!

Books were lovingly worn as were quilts and pots and pans.  My mother felt like her pots were just getting broken in after ten years!  Newlyweds received odds and ends to get started as a couple ... my first husband and I were no different.  Our parents were generous refinishing furniture and gifting us with things they didn't need.  When I got pregnant with my first daughter, it didn't occur to us to buy a new crib.  My parents sent us $15 and we went to the thrift shop.  Somehow, we all survived!!

I am rambling aren't I...  We've become so spoiled and accustomed to things we think are needs when they really are wants.  When I met Michael, he was amazed at how long I had had some of my belongings.  I was taught to take good care my clothes, my car, and everything else I was blessed with.  I've never been spoiled or wasteful and when I purchase something I make darn sure that it's what I want.  Somehow, I learned to do for myself what most people pay good money for.  I laugh though ... I always bit my nails and was so embarrassed.  I yearned to wear beautiful rings and bracelets.  I decided that I would get acrylic nails put on every two weeks.  Hey, I quit gnawing on my nails and ended up having beautiful hands!  It was something that I did for me just because!!  Ever do anything for yourself just because??  Good deal....  Run on sentences, rambling thoughts ... oh well, they are my sentences and my thoughts!

I've had this drawing to the little casa from the time I first met Michael.  It was there that I asked that we be married and it was there that I grew to love Mom as much as if she were my own mother.  Now, I am drawn to a dilapidated garage where I envision a little cottage fit for a queen!  Who's the queen?  Me, of course!!  The little casa is so small it's been difficult at best for Michael and I to not bump into each other physically and emotionally.  I think you get my drift!!  I want a place where I can retreat to to pray, read, write and paint ... a serene place of quiet!!  A "woman" cave!!  Ah yes, I can see it now ... a little white cottage with window boxes filled with cascading flowers.

When I got the epiphany about repurposing the old garage at the little casa, I walked around the house doing a little shopping!!  A favorite piece bought as a dining room serving table so long ago which now welcomes guests in the entry will be used as my desk ... the old bookcase bought many moons ago will grace my space holding books and family mementos (if it will fit, it's a big piece!).  What I love will follow me!!

On Monday afternoon, we will meet with Lupe and begin the repurposing of the old garage.  The landscape of a broken down and ramshackled building will be transformed into one that is new and inviting.  The transformation will be blessed each step of the way and I will write scripture on the studs.  I love projects and, believe me, this project is a big one!!

I had a wonderful email from one of the ladies in the Friday Bible Study I attend at White Bluff.  She was thinking I was moving from the little casa and offered to help.  They have made sure that I know that I am covered with prayer.  That is so comforting.  I know you will think I am crazy but God has given me clear signs each step of the way that what I am doing has been annointed.  Change is always tough for me but I heard something (again) today that made sense ... when God closes a door, He has something better in store.  My journey over the next few months will be an interesting one!

The pain in my head continues ... it helps me to focus on something positive and keep on putting one foot in front of the other.  I will finish the last of the antibiotic tomorrow.  The sinus headache is better but not gone.  I pray for deliverance each day.  My body is so tired by night and I do sleep soundly.  The packing and selling of household goods seems overwhelming yet, I know, I can do it one box at a time.

The days ahead will be busy ones ... packing, selling, moving, working on the "woman" cave at the little casa, making new friends, keeping in touch with old friends, making plans to go to Minnesota in July ... getting in a trip to Florida...  2012 will be an adventurous one!!

It is my hope that the dreams you envision will come true for you whatever they may be.  Some my age call dreams a "bucket list" other younger folks call those dreams goals ... pretty much the same thing, don't you think?  There is something for certain though ... if you sit on your butt and don't do anything, those dreams become only a faint "I wish I would have..."

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

"I have woven a parachute out of everything broken."
~~ William Stafford, American Poet

   


 

 

 

A time of renewal...

February 15, 2012


It's a great day to be alive and kickin'!  Beverly just stopped by for a cup of tea.  I had made some blueberry breakfast bread ... perfect timing!


Last week, I had visited with the neurologist and had enough shots in my head and neck to last me a lifetime.  Well, at least for three months.  The headache in my brow area wouldn't leave so talked with my family doctor.  She prescribed an antibiotic for a sinus infection.  HOPEFULLY, that will do the trick.  There sure are a lot of people sniffling and complaining of headaches ... we haven't had much of a Winter so maybe the bugs haven't been killed off.


I've been putting off going back to North Texas to start packing.  Somehow, it's just been tough this time and my energy has waned to almost nothing.  The lady who bought the house spent some time there last Sunday and purchased some of the furniture and accessories.  Wish she'd have bought the whole shebang!!  I talked with Michael and we will rent a UHaul and move all the yard furniture down here.  That's about all we have room for.  We've been going back and forth on whether or not to convert the garage to a guest cottage.  We sure do need additional space.

February 16, 2012

Made the trip back to North Texas to celebrate a belated Valentine's Day with Michael.  He bought me some beautiful roses and made a special card ... with Scottie's on it!!  Gotta love those Scotties (and him too!).  We went to El Fenix to munch on some fajita nachos and I had some of their wonderful flan.  We left stuffed to the gills!!  It was nice to be able to spend some time catching up and making plans as to what to do next ... and next ... and next!!

I took some time to walk through the house and started to disconnect.  Michael had said something earlier that hit home with me ... "We're off to a new start and new adventures."  The mention of new adventures sounded good rather than focus on what I am leaving behind.  All of a sudden I had this peace come over me and I remembered what I had told myself some years ago ... "Simple, Dottie, keep your life simple and you will be okay."  I believed that then, and I believe it now.  Life is not about stuff, it's about the relationships that you cherish.

Don't get me wrong, I love all things pretty and I am at my best when I am creating my nest and working in my gardens.  I appreciate the special pieces of furniture that have stories attached and hate to let them go.  I've struggled trying to keep my world where I live a sanctuary where I (and those who enter) feel safe and loved.  I guard my private spaces diligently and relish the time I spend there reading, writing, and reflecting.

Today, I published my blog book for 2011.  I smiled as I pushed the key to "submit" and felt a sense of accomplishment.  I hashed through a lot of stuff in 2011 both publicly and privately.  My relationships with my family have been strengthened in my own weaknesses and I like that.  I am conquering my fears and marching through the muddy waters of life to meadows of green.  It's always been my thought that anything worth having is worth fighting for!!

Success?  It's sure different at sixty-five than it was at thirty-five.  At thirty-five, success was making sure my family was provided for and that they were well adjusted and happy.  At sixty-five it is a day by day process ... success is successfully downsizing and getting rid of excess baggage.  My family has become even more important and it is my hope and prayer that they are well adjusted citizens and happy.  I am so blessed to have a family that share my love of wholeness and the Lord God.  (Sigh)  I may not have a front porch with rockers on it to sit and watch my grandchildren play but I can see it in my mind.

February 17, 2012

TGIF!!  I think I need to sit down and finish this blog!!  It is Friday, my favorite day of the week.  It's also Trade Days in McKinney.  I am pulling on Michael's shirt tail to do one last visit.  There's nothing I need except a great corn dog and some fresh lemonade!  It's kind of cloudy today and there's a chance of rain showers...

I will miss living here.  McKinney has such small town charm yet is close to the city offering so much to do.  We drove around the square yesterday and made a note of the places we wanted to eat at and visit before we headed to Central Texas.

As much as I'd rather not, it's also time to go pick up boxes today and pack what I will want to keep.  I am hoping that next weekend will be warm enough for a garage sale.  I have so many of those crazy ficus trees and a multitude of art ... it will look like we are having our own private art show in a forest!!

Looks like the weekend has nearly started without me so I am signing off and will get on the "busy" train combining fun with packing!!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!  

Love is...

February 14, 2012

I wish you love ... I wish you joy ... I wish you a day filled with red!!  Oh, I know, not everyone loves red like I do...  I'm going to fix a cup of coffee and drink out of my red cup, wear a red sweater, and maybe even paint my nails red.  You can bet your sweet bippy that I will indulge in all things RED!!  Since I will be spending Valentine's Day by myself, I will indulge in a few chocolate covered strawberries, pick a few flowers from my garden and bask in the aura of this special day filling my thoughts with all things beautiful! 


This morning I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was two sets of black eyes looking at me and a couple of tails going a mile a minute.  Unconditional love ... I woke up to unconditional love.  Love is a couple of furry friends who love me no matter what!  They follow me wherever I go, sitting beside me as I blog, read or watch TV.  They seem to instinctively know when I am not feeling up to par and coat my face with wet kisses.


I was thinking this morning about love and the statement, what you reap shall you sow.  Well, I was also thinking about where we sow our seeds of love.  If we sow them on stony ground we are not likely to reap much except more rocks ... if we sow our seeds in shallow ground, the seeds can blow away at a whim.  Planting seeds of love in fertile soil, tending those little seedlings, fertilizing and giving them attention assures a bumper crop!  Now that's real love!!  Not too long ago, Michael and I sat down with an erasable tablet and wrote down the fruits of our lives.  If you haven't done that, it can be pretty eye opening.  If your fruits are rotten or nonexistent, you might want to make some changes before it's too late.

Love is as love does.  In a society were lust has taken the place of love, it is often times difficult to even know what real love is.  Dr. Romance used to be besieged by singles who had fallen in love with photos in the library.  Often times, they wouldn't even read a profile ... they were sure their lives would change if only they could get a date with that blond on page 45 in book C or that hunk on page 15 of book S.  Vain, aren't we??  Stupid, for sure when it comes to the affairs of our eyes!




Madison & Kat

 Love is knowing I have a legacy of wonderful children and grandchildren following in my footsteps on this earth.  They have my blood flowing through their veins ... good stuff!!  Each child is special ... Maddy the social butterfly who loves words of wisdom; Katrina the thinker, the doer, the child with the big heart; Zachary the mover and shaker; and, Nicholas, the youngest ... a special gift of exuberant joy!!  Just to be a part of their lives makes my heart leap for joy!!

Mom & Michael

Love is sharing the ups and downs with a person you love and trust ... someone you know who has your back ... someone with whom you can be transparent and know it won't come back to bite you.  Love is doing the right thing when no one is looking even if it's going to cost you something.  Come to think of it, love has a lot to do with good character doesn't it??  Lots of Svengalies out there ... might want to stick with the Boy Scout or Girl Scout types!!  Hehe!!

There are web sites on the Internet that offer love letters.  How sad is that??  I don't know about you, but I cherish love letters written from the heart!!  I've received a few of those in my lifetime and I will carry the contents in my heart forever.  It has been my honor to give letters to those who grace my home at Christmas.  I also make it a point to write letters to my children on their birthdays.  I want those nearest and dearest to me to know they are special.

Later:  Beverly came over to ask me if I needed anything.  I had planned to go to the post office so she asked if she could ride along ... she had little Valentine gifts to distribute along the way.  She took a little Valentine gift to a young girl at Brookshires who bags groceries.  Why?  Just because.  She took a Valentine's gift to a greeter at Walmart.  Why?  Just because.  While we were at Walmart, I picked up cards for Michael and Mom and we traveled on to the nursing home.  Mom was all set to go to a Valentine's party.  She was soooo excited about seeing who was being crowned queen and king!!  I brought her some Valentine cookies for her to give to the aides so she'll have a full day of company!!

May you celebrate love and all it means to you this day.  Give those around you some extra hugs and kisses.  Wear some red and celebrate the romance of loving and being loved.  Believe me, it's worth it!!

Always remember you are loved and cared for ... YA YOU!!



Kat and I wish you love!



Praise God from whom all blessings flow...

The bold black headline in the Dallas Morning News on February 10, 2012 read:  Donald Tinsley, who helped prepare 'The News' for computerized printing, dies at 80.  The newspaper flew the Texas flag at half mast in memoriam.  Quite an honor for a man who retired in 1994.  Donald Tinsley touched many lives and his legacy lives on.  We praise God for this man from whom all blessings flowed.

Good Afternoon, Readers!  It's a chilly day in Central Texas.  We had attended the funeral for Michael's Uncle Don yesterday in Wills Point.  By the time we neared home last night, it was sleeting and snowing.  Brr!  It sure was beautiful ... a perfect ending to a perfect day.

Michael has such a warm wonderful family.  We met with his cousins and Aunt and Uncle at a mexican restaurant for lunch before the funeral.  It was a time of laughing and reminiscing for everyone.  It reminded me of when I got together with my own cousins before my Aunt Helen's Celebration of Life Service.  I looked at Uncle Richard who is 88 and Aunt Rita who is 90 ... they had made the long trip from Fayetteville (a three plus hour trip one way) to say their good-byes.  They looked tired and worn yet it was important for them to say "So long, brother."  Richard and Donnie talked every day ... what a blessing those chats were for both of them!


I have only been in Michael's family circle for about nine years so I really haven't been privy to all the inside jokes of yesteryear.  Michael was asked to give a eulogy on behalf of the cousins.  His talk was short (short for Michael who LOVES to talk) and brought giggles and tears to his audience.  He loved his Uncle Don who he looked up to almost as an older brother.  As a youth, Michael pestered his uncle relentlessly about getting married so he could have more cousins.  His uncle would always reply ... "When I find the right one..."  He did and the cousin roster expanded to 11.  Michael was hoping for guy cousins but that wasn't to be ... the girls arrived ... Debbie, Kathy, and Lisa.

It's always interesting to me to observe behavior of family and friends at a funeral.  Somehow, I just knew this was a special man who would be sorely missed by his wife, three daughters and their spouses, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.  Don's daughters talked about their dad and again, we shared smiles and tears.  It's nice that pastors are able to eulogize and make the departed sound like they were the best thing since sliced bread but, better yet, I always like it when the family speaks from the heart and we get the real scoop on what that person meant to family and friends.  Somehow, the truth matters.

I sat there wondering what my family would say about me.  Would Michael miss me like Genelle will miss Don?  What will my children and grandchildren remember about Grandma "."?  I sighed and was glad that I had started my blog in 2010 so that they would not only know me but where I came from and the struggles and accolades that made me "me".


I think funerals or celebration of life services (as they are now called) are so important.  Somehow, it gives closure to the sting of death and a rise to the legacy the person left behind.  Sadly, some folks leave this world without anyone even knowing they have departed.  It was interesting to me that Genelle asked that pastor to say, "If you smoke, quit ... if you don't, don't start."  It was smoking that took Don's life and cut short his time with his family.

As we enter our teenaged years, we often think of ourselves as bulletproof.  We're going to live forever.  We play Russian Roulette with our lives and are broken when the odds get stacked against us.   I can't help but think of Whitney Houston who passed away at 48 ... Whitney was found dead in her hotel bathroom just a couple days ago.  What a waste ... a singer with an amazing voice and a troubled history of addictions.  Why, we ask ourselves.  The truth is, we just don't know why.

I am marching through the pages of my Daily Walk Bible.  Numbers is definitely NOT my favorite book in the Bible yet I learn something each year as I muddle through the pages.  The little devotional got me to thinking.  "Two bricklayers were asked what they were doing.  The first replied, 'I'm laying brick', the second, 'I'm building a great cathedral.'"  Same task, same bricks, two thoroughly different perspectives!!  Isn't that like our lives?  We live one day at a time with different perspectives ... one says, "I just want to get through the day."  The other says, "I want to make this day count."

It's easy to be a Christian when the going is smooth.  What happens when life throws you a curve ball.  Do you become hateful and spiteful or do you look to the Lord and take on His ways??  I've never never regretted taking the high road that's certain.  I guess someone could say that I'm a pushover or milk toast but that's not true.  I know and I realize what's going on ... I CHOOSE to rise above and find peace and serenity in my days.

A very long time ago, I memorized the Serenity Prayer and would like to end my day meditating on each word!  Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!  God bless!!!

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

~~Reinhold Niebuhr



The legacy of love between brothers lasts forever!



Dr. Romance is alive and kicking!



Dr. Romance

February 10, 2012

I am humming Tina Turner's What's Love Got to Do With It.  Since Valentine's Day is just around the corner, it brought back memories of my time at Great Expectations as Member Advisor, Personal Matchmaker, and author of the Relationship Corner and Dr. Romance columns.  I absolutely loved my work in the five years I was involved with singles and affairs of the heart. 

Working for Great Expectations was one of the most rewarding fun jobs I have ever had.  Not long ago, I was going through some files and found cards, written columns, and various and sundry things from my season there.  As Member Advisor to nearly 5,000 singles, I met more wonderful people than I can possibly count.  I developed a class called the Dating University which was fun for me as well as my students.  It was obvious that we are not meant to be Lone Rangers in this world.  William Shakespeare said, "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."  Now doesn't that make sense?  I laugh ... it was always my view to love all, trust everyone, and do no wrong to anyone.  To trust everyone is just nonsense because there are some folks that are just plain not to be trusted.  I got manipulated many a time!!

One of the age old questions of life has been, "What is love?"  When I am asking and answering that question I turn to I Corinthians 13:4-13:

"Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is no proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record or wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.  But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.  When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put away childish ways behind me.  Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then, we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.  And now these three remain:  faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love."

We cannot give what we do not possess.  If our love banks are on empty and we don't love ourselves, there is nothing flowing.  TD Jakes has written a great book, THE LADY, HER LOVER, AND HER LORD.  There are some things that we can only receive from within ourselves.  As a romantic, I learned early on to provide romance for myself.  When my children were small, 3:00pm was Mom Time.  I took a block of time to take a warm bubble bath, put on fresh makeup, and regroup.  I guarded that time religiously.  Refreshed, I could finish the rest of my day, making dinner for my family, and doing what needed to be done.  Later on when I went into the work force, I would still take time for me each day which most times ended up being closing my office door and spending some quiet time.  It was important for me to love myself enough to fill my love bank tending to my physical, emotional and spiritual well being.  I must admit though, I've always been a sucker for romantic fellas and enjoy every part of being female!!  That's the icing on the cake of life!!

The popular opinion now is, "If it feels good, do it."  The only problem with that is what seems wonderful can turn into a real can of worms.  Oh my, it is wonderful to fall in love with love ... the butterflies in the tummy, the late night phone calls, the rush of physical attraction.  The only problem is that it only takes about three months and we begin to see the chinks in our knights or ladies of shining armor and the butterflies can feel more like bees swarming.  We can ignore the chinks, decide that the good stuff outweighs the chinks, or run like hell.  Unless you're one of those with a hardened heart who is totally into the self, the heart feels the sting that comes with reality.

What does love have to do with it?  Every thing!  I was reading on MSN news that people are being diagnosed of dying of broken hearts.  Sounds pretty serious to me.  Love is a two way street ... our ultimate happiness depends of if we are going the same direction!  I know that I love me and that God loves me but it sure is nice when I am appreciated and cherished by those around me.  I don't think that I am the only one that feels that way...

The road of life is paved with good intentions.  We mean well -- relationships never begin thinking that they are going to end and we have the utmost faith that the fairy tale will have a happy ending. It says in Proverbs 4:23 (NLT), "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."  In other words, we need to be careful about who and what we give our hearts to.

As Valentine's Day approaches, we will be bombarded with ads reminding us that love is in the air.  I read earlier today that ten percent of marriage proposals happen on Valentine's Day.  Red, red, red ... the color of passion ... my favorite color!!  I look forward to hearing the knock on the door and riding off into the sunset with my own Knight in Shining Armor!!

NOW, it's time to sign off and fill my jacuzzi tub with bubbles, light some candles, and prepare for a quiet evening.  I wonder if I have any more logs for the fireplace.  Ah yes ... ambiance!!!

 Always remember you are loved and prayed for ...

YA YOU!!



Love is a special dinner with
Zachary, Nicholas & Michael
at The Cotton Patch!!



One for the money, two for the show...

February 9, 2012

Oh it's a good day ... yes, it is!!  It's a good day for livin' life large and looking forward to the adventures before me.  I don't know why but the song One for the Money, has been going through my brain.  I got up humming and swaying to the music.   "Don't you step on my blue suede shoes" ... errr, I mean boots!  Those oldie but goodie tunes are hard to beat.  I enjoy today's music but find it hard to understand the lyrics.  If I can't get the lyrics, I probably won't remember the song.  Oh well...  "Three to get ready, now go cat go" ...

The migraine headaches that started coming on a few weeks ago were getting pretty debilitating.  I saw Dr. Sorin this morning and had sixteen shots in my head and down my neck and one in the arm.  I am feeling better and hopefully, I will be able to stand being out in the daylight more.  I was thinking I was needing to become nocturnal.  Nahhh ... not a good idea!  Anyway, although the shots have cut the pain way down, it will take a few days to get back to feeling 100%.  I am a happy camper!!  Love, love, love my neurologist!!  Oh, more good news ... the MRI I had done on my head shows no atrophy, damage, bleeding, Alzheimer's, etc.  Good news for a sixty-five year old!!

Michael's uncle passed away in Denton, Texas yesterday.  We decided that it was best not to tell Mom about her younger brother's passing over the phone.  Some things are just best said face to face.  We don't know when the funeral will be so we're waiting to hear on that.  Boy!  The older I get, the more funerals and celebrations of life I am attending.  It's different being in this season of life.  I know that I sure appreciate each day more.  Even the down times mean I am alive and God still has a purpose for me.

Rick Santorum, presidential candidate, was in McKinney at a local chapel.  After he finished speaking the congregation layed hands on him and prayed for him and for his campaign.  I am doing more investigating about this young man and I like what I am uncovering so far ... a family oriented man with deep convictions and moral values.  I appreciate those qualities in a leader.  We need a man at the helm who knows what the cost of a loaf of bread is and how the average guy is being affected by our economy as well as being a strong leader.

I remember when President Obama was campaigning for the presidency and came to Dallas.  I was working at Great American Insurance and we watched his motorcade pass below us.  The city was on fire for this young man who had so much charisma.  I wrote a letter about his campaign in Dallas remembering how influential he had become with each stop.  I did not vote for him but almost did.  I was placing my vote and stood there for several minutes not knowing which way to go.  I didn't feel that either candidate was really worthwhile of the presidency but wanted to exercise my freedom of choice.  I am doing more homework this time listening to more talk shows, reading the history of the men and becoming educated.  I think it's time we got back to the basics of life and looked very intently at the character of the man we want to lead our nation.  As you read this, it is my hope that you, too, will get educated and not vote just because the person is a Democrat or Republican.

It's surprising how many people are becoming more bold about discussing politics these days.  I go to have lunch somewhere and the people are talking about the candidates ... I go to the doctor and the discussion arises about the different candidates -- their downfalls and strengths.  I think people are becoming more aware which is really good.  It saddens me to learn of the newest scuttlebutt about JFK.  So many in my generation felt he could do no wrong.  So much was hidden from the American public not only with him but others in office as well.

Toby went to Petsmart for grooming today.  He's a YorkiPoo and looks more like a poodle when he is first groomed.  The groomers are so fond of Sadie and Toby and recognize them when we walk in.  Sadie always gets an A+ on her report card from them ... Toby?  Well, Toby is still sweet but a little less cooperative -- his report card?  "Shows improvement!!"  (Smile)  It's another thing after he is all prettied up -- he struts his stuff and loves all the attention he gets.

We have been on the phone and emailing constantly with our realtor regarding the sale of our home.  I find myself calling it our "property" 'cause it's easier to let go.  I had been praying faithfully since the house did not appraise for the sale price.  That small voice inside me kept telling me to sit tight on the sale price and it would be okay.  I was amazed at how the skills I learned in the class I took on negotiations helped me.  I fell asleep last night so peacefully knowing that "it" was going to be resolved positively.  Today, it looks like the house is sold.  Closing has been moved to mid March which will give me time to sell the contents of the house.  Anyone need anything for a home?  I probably have it!!  The buyer is coming on Sunday to pick what she wants.  I told her that she would have first dibs...

I am so grateful for my son who is a senior loan officer.  Last night, he took the time to talk with Michael and I, going through the sale process of a house from initial contract, counters, final contract, appraisals, getting a loan, processing, underwriting, on up to the closing.  I can see why his clients love him and feel like he really has their best interests at heart.  With the general maladies of the mortgage industry he's been struggling like so many yet I just know God has good things in store for him.

As a mom, I am so fortunate.  My children are upstanding citizens and good people inside as well as out.  If I have questions about my health or the medications I take, I can always count on Jane, a pharmacist, to keep me informed.  Like Tommy, Jane is an out of the box thinker and they are both assets to their chosen careers.  They are amazing parents who walk their talk.  I like that...

Last night, I watched Revenge on TV.  If you haven't seen it, it's the story about a little girl whose father was wrongfully convicted and sent to prison for something he didn't do.  The little girl grew up wanting to avenge her father's imprisonment.  Oh the twists and turns revenge takes.  Her hearts grows colder with each episode and her involvements with those who wronged her father more complicated.  I am so glad that I don't have a mean bone in my body.  It is difficult for me to hold grudges and punish people for their actions.  I want my heart to be open and free to love and be loved and not weighed down by hate.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take ... I can close my eyes and remember me as a little girl, my hands folded, praying that prayer ... that prayer was like "comfort food" is to so many.  I always felt a warmth and a drawing toward a clear soft light -- I didn't understand that then and I still don't.  All I know is that there are times that I still say that prayer and feel contentment.

It is with that little prayer that I bid you a good night ... Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Who was Cain's wife?

February 6, 2012

Good  Morning, Readers!  I am surrounded by the wonderful chaos that came from having a Super Bowl party here in North Texas yesterday.  I had decided to throw out the welcome mat for my son and family knowing that they all love football.

Tommy, Angie, and the boys came over after church.  I always love opening the door and seeing their smiles and giggles.  I had fixed a Super Bowl spread that would last us throughout the day.  My grandsons have reached that age that it is hard to fill them up.  They are active boys continually tossing footballs whether it's inside or outside.  They play tag whether it's inside or outside.  They whoop and holler whether it's inside or outside.  In other words, they are happy brothers who thoroughly enjoy being together.  I just love it when the house is filled with the joyousness of people having fun.  At one point, we tackled Tommy and brought him to the ground!!  He he!!  Gotta get in on some of the fun!!  The boys and Angie were rooting for the Patriots and the rest of us were rooting for the Giants.  Made for some fun contests.

Tommy packed a bag with jammies for the boys so they could take a last bath in grandma's big jacuzzi tub.  They put bubbles in the tub and, of course, when they turned on the jets, the bubbles multiplied.  They laughed and shouted and played til they resembled prunes!  I wanted to snap a photo so I said, "Cover up grandma's coming in."  Nicholas dove under the water ... all I could see of him is his little butt sticking out of the bubbles.  No, I didn't snap a photo of that!  Nicholas makes an adventure out of nothing and everything!  Golly, what a blessing they are!!


I have had horrible migraine headaches this past week.  I can tell that I am due for more shots in my head.  Dr. Sorin, here I come!!  For those who have headaches, life can come to a screeching halt as we seek the quiet of dark cool rooms.  It's times like that that I wish I had a magic genie to do my chores.  Anyone else relate??  Chronic illnesses are at best a pain in the butt.  My attitude of gratitude helps the most to keep me afloat.  I keep thinking of beautiful meadows of flowers swaying softly in the breeze and my children and grandchildren running through with smiles on their faces.  Sometimes I wonder if I should give in more to the pain I have.  Yet, in doing so, I would miss so much of life and living.

Who was Cain's wife?  That was the topic of discussion before the Super Bowl.  Angie and I sort of agreed that we thought God had created other people besides Adam and Eve.  We had these romantic attachments aligned with creation.  Tommy, in his loud voice, said, "Why don't you guys get this ... I get this.  Adam and Eve were the first people created and they had sons and daughters who married.  For example, Cain could have married his niece, Adam's granddaughter, etc."  We grabbed Bibles, commentaries, and searched the Internet.  Angie and I finally had to cave and agree with Tommy.  We had to admit, we had a great time disagreeing then working together to research.  I still like to think of adding that romantic touch to the story though.  Dr. Romance is not dead!!

I thought about that this morning ... I really liked the way we came together to resolve an issue.  We had a total disagreement but our focus was on finding out what the truth was.  We could all live with truth.  The Mars and Venus was clearly evident in how we went about our research.  There are times when I think my son should have been a lawyer.  He was at a meeting several nights ago and gave a talk.  A fellow came up to him afterwards and asked him if his father was a preacher.  Ya know ... his Heavenly Father certainly is!!


We are often told to avoid politics and religion in our discussions.  I would prefer that no topic is off limits at my table.  I welcome others to share their thoughts, ideas, and concerns ... their loves and hates.  I love it that my children and grandchildren are totally into communication.  They are not uncomfortable in being transparent.  I pray that never changes!

Would you believe, the sale of our home is now in limbo??  Golly gee whiz, what a mess it has gotten to be.  I have learned a very valuable lesson ... I will never again agree to have the listing agent represent the buyer as well.  It is my opinion that an agent cannot do justice to both.  Anyway, who knows what will happen.  Our buyer has until the day of closing to opt out of the contract.  In the meantime, we are wondering whether or not to pack boxes, have an estate sale, garage sales or sit tight.  My physical limitations weight heavily on my heart.  Trying as best I can to keep positive.

My daughter saw the surgeon who did her surgery and she got great reports ... no cancer!  I could breathe a sigh of relief and I'm sure she did as well.  The older I get, the more I realize how important good health is ... without it, everything else just fades away.  My mother had rheumatoid arthritis and didn't have the medical breakthroughs we have today to help her.  She was unable to walk very far, her back was in constant pain, and her hands were twisted and gnarled.  She was afraid to go anywhere or make plans because she didn't know how she would feel that day.  She was also addicted to pain killers ... I know her pain was very horrific and it was her way of coping.  I am grateful for my doctors and the surgeries that have helped me walk and lead an active life.

All of a sudden I am humming ... "When you walk through a storm hold your head up high and don't be afraid....."  I am liking that thought and will carry it with me throughout the day.  If you're walking through a storm, I hope you will join me in thinking good thoughts.  Picture yourself in the eye of the storm where it is quiet and peaceful ... it is in that place where you will be safe.

Until next time, always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!