Dr. Romance is alive and kicking!



Dr. Romance

February 10, 2012

I am humming Tina Turner's What's Love Got to Do With It.  Since Valentine's Day is just around the corner, it brought back memories of my time at Great Expectations as Member Advisor, Personal Matchmaker, and author of the Relationship Corner and Dr. Romance columns.  I absolutely loved my work in the five years I was involved with singles and affairs of the heart. 

Working for Great Expectations was one of the most rewarding fun jobs I have ever had.  Not long ago, I was going through some files and found cards, written columns, and various and sundry things from my season there.  As Member Advisor to nearly 5,000 singles, I met more wonderful people than I can possibly count.  I developed a class called the Dating University which was fun for me as well as my students.  It was obvious that we are not meant to be Lone Rangers in this world.  William Shakespeare said, "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."  Now doesn't that make sense?  I laugh ... it was always my view to love all, trust everyone, and do no wrong to anyone.  To trust everyone is just nonsense because there are some folks that are just plain not to be trusted.  I got manipulated many a time!!

One of the age old questions of life has been, "What is love?"  When I am asking and answering that question I turn to I Corinthians 13:4-13:

"Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is no proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record or wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.  But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.  When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put away childish ways behind me.  Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then, we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.  And now these three remain:  faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love."

We cannot give what we do not possess.  If our love banks are on empty and we don't love ourselves, there is nothing flowing.  TD Jakes has written a great book, THE LADY, HER LOVER, AND HER LORD.  There are some things that we can only receive from within ourselves.  As a romantic, I learned early on to provide romance for myself.  When my children were small, 3:00pm was Mom Time.  I took a block of time to take a warm bubble bath, put on fresh makeup, and regroup.  I guarded that time religiously.  Refreshed, I could finish the rest of my day, making dinner for my family, and doing what needed to be done.  Later on when I went into the work force, I would still take time for me each day which most times ended up being closing my office door and spending some quiet time.  It was important for me to love myself enough to fill my love bank tending to my physical, emotional and spiritual well being.  I must admit though, I've always been a sucker for romantic fellas and enjoy every part of being female!!  That's the icing on the cake of life!!

The popular opinion now is, "If it feels good, do it."  The only problem with that is what seems wonderful can turn into a real can of worms.  Oh my, it is wonderful to fall in love with love ... the butterflies in the tummy, the late night phone calls, the rush of physical attraction.  The only problem is that it only takes about three months and we begin to see the chinks in our knights or ladies of shining armor and the butterflies can feel more like bees swarming.  We can ignore the chinks, decide that the good stuff outweighs the chinks, or run like hell.  Unless you're one of those with a hardened heart who is totally into the self, the heart feels the sting that comes with reality.

What does love have to do with it?  Every thing!  I was reading on MSN news that people are being diagnosed of dying of broken hearts.  Sounds pretty serious to me.  Love is a two way street ... our ultimate happiness depends of if we are going the same direction!  I know that I love me and that God loves me but it sure is nice when I am appreciated and cherished by those around me.  I don't think that I am the only one that feels that way...

The road of life is paved with good intentions.  We mean well -- relationships never begin thinking that they are going to end and we have the utmost faith that the fairy tale will have a happy ending. It says in Proverbs 4:23 (NLT), "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."  In other words, we need to be careful about who and what we give our hearts to.

As Valentine's Day approaches, we will be bombarded with ads reminding us that love is in the air.  I read earlier today that ten percent of marriage proposals happen on Valentine's Day.  Red, red, red ... the color of passion ... my favorite color!!  I look forward to hearing the knock on the door and riding off into the sunset with my own Knight in Shining Armor!!

NOW, it's time to sign off and fill my jacuzzi tub with bubbles, light some candles, and prepare for a quiet evening.  I wonder if I have any more logs for the fireplace.  Ah yes ... ambiance!!!

 Always remember you are loved and prayed for ...

YA YOU!!



Love is a special dinner with
Zachary, Nicholas & Michael
at The Cotton Patch!!