A Heart that Forgives ~

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March 29, 2015
Palm Sunday

Dear Readers,

Today is a day to celebrate Jesus ride into Jerusalem. The people cheered him but in the following week, He would be arrested, tried, beaten, spit on, and humiliated as he hung on that cross.  My Lutheran upbringing will remember Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and the joy of Easter. I will weep remembering the pain Christ endured, and bask in the sunshine of Easter. There are some traditions that I still keep because they are important to my heart.

Some years ago, I saw the movie, The Passion of the Christ. I'm a visual person and the scenes of the betrayal, the trial, and the crucifixion took me to my knees. Picture Jesus hanging on that cross~ he'd been beaten, scourged, and spit on. What did he say? "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." His last act was to forgive the robber on the cross next to his ~ telling him that he would be with him in paradise. He was winning souls up to the moment he took his last breath.

One of the best Bible studies I have ever taken is The Mind of Christ, a Bible study written by TW Hunt. It's a study which introduces believers to a lifelong process through which God renews minds and lives to reflect the image of Christ. It is based on Philippians 2:5: "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus." It showed me how Jesus' mind worked and how the Holy Spirit can teach you to think as He did. I wanted to be more like Christ and this study as a stepping stone.

Church was amazing today ... the focus was on forgiveness. I was writing (in my Sunday journal) as fast as I could as Miss Kitty, Pastor Rick, William, and Pastor Dudley gave testimonies and, in Miss Kitty's and Pastor Dudley's case, sermons.

The ability to forgive and let go is a powerful tool. In my case, when I was able to forgive, it opened more room in my mind and heart to appreciate the good. The tapes that ran rampant for so many years were replaced with new ones carrying good thoughts. I was free to move on!  Ever meet people who seem to be always mad at someone or something? They hold grudges forever! Unforgiveness can be addictive you know. When I encounter people like that, they tend to not want to be around my joyous spirit and I just pray for their release from their own miseries. Mad and happy don't go well together.

Maybe that's why I love the Open Range Church so much. When I walk through the doors, I immediately feel the love of Christ through his people. I am able to encourage, appreciate, and welcome others (and they do the same for me).  There is something special there that I hadn't experienced since my years at Grace Community Church.  When I walk out, I am bursting with happiness and set to take on my week and look forward to going back. Hopefully, I will be able to take part more when we are able to purchase a second car. I'm not the most patient person in the world and thank God everyday for the vehicle He will provide.

Glen Scrivener said, "The difference between the law and the good news of Jesus is not that law is about dry duty and Jesus is about heart-felt affections. They are both about love. It's just that the law only describes the life of love. The good news of Jesus, when trusted, actually produces it." I'm pondering on that today!!

Miss Dottie

Dear God,
Thank you for this day and the opportunity to learn more about you, break bread, and fellowship with fellow believers. My prayer list has been growing ~ I pray for those who have had tragic accidents, have been confronted with diagnoses of terminal illness, have broken bones, and for those who are sick mentally, physically, spiritually. They need you,Jehovah Rapha, our healer who makes bitter things sweet and I need you too. I know it's probably silly but I thank you for our newest rescue, Zoe. She has brought such calmness to the pack in Seidler Dogdom. I pray for safety for those traveling this Easter week. I am praying that you will give an extra nudge to those who might not attend church this coming Sunday. ALL need to be exposed to the glory and magnificence of this day when Jesus died on the cross that we would have eternal life. I raise my hands praising your name and glorify you saying, Hosanna to the Christ!!  Amen, it is so!!
  

Through the magnifying glass...

March 27, 2015
Friday

Dear God,

Happy Spring and Happy Friday!  The birds are singing and all's right in my world.

Thank you for the blessed time we have had this morning. Maybe it took going through surgery to slow me down and make sure You had the first fruits of my day. I am on track in reading through the Bible in 2015 and, this morning, read about David, the man after your heart.

David was such a godly man ~ a man who listened to You then lived his life in obedience and praise. What happened, Lord? How could a man so attune to your bidding fall so far from grace?  Well, David is no different than many of us. David's sin with Bathsheba was no sudden collapse of his moral values, but rather the outgrowth of an undisciplined life given to passion, polygamy, and idle pleasure. When temptation came, David had no willpower to resist. He saw, he inquired, he yielded. When David's folly was known and Nathan the prophet addressed this with him, David was ashamed and asked for forgiveness. God forgave David BUT the crash would be heard for generations to come in the form of treachery, immorality, jealousy, and murder in David's family.

(I put a table in comparing Joseph's life to David's. Every time I am feeling resentful, I go back and reread Joseph's story in Genesis.)

I got to thinking ~ are there subtle sins eating away at my spiritualness? Disaster in the Christian life more often results from a slow leak than a blow out. For a very long time, I examined my thoughts and actions through a magnifying glass. Then, being human, I thought, "I know my weaknesses, I don't need to take inventory every day. Oh dear, resentments festered, my anger reared its ugly head, and I gradually (ever sooo slowly) became less than I wanted to be. You have a way of bringing me to my knees, don't You. Now, nearly every day I praise You, read a devotional or scripture, and get out my magnifying glass. I pray Psalm 139:23-24 (KJV): "Search me, O God, and know my heart, try me, and know my thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

You've forgiven me and remember my sins no more. Yet, there have been the ramifications to deal with. The choice I made when I was seventeen years old paved the way for a lifetime of sadness. There is an old chiche that goes something like this: Our choices become action, actions become habits, and habits become our character. Yet, I know that for every sin, You made something good of it and I am so grateful. I would not be the woman I am today without walking the road I walked.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,

who have been called according to his purpose."

~Romans 8:28

Now, Father, I am NOT telling people who sin that You will definitely use it for good. I'm sayin' that You know we are imperfect; and, in spite of ourselves, for those of us that love You, our ways will be used for the good in glorifying You.

Lord God, I praise You for who you are. I worship You and You alone, one day at a time, one step at a time. Forgive me my sins as I forgive those who have sinned against me. I pray for my church. Grant an extra measure of wisdom to those who shepherd us. I pray for my country ~ may truth be blatantly obvious as we get ready to choose another President. Keep us safe calling up men and women of God to lead us. For those on my prayer list, I pray for good health, peace in the midst of tragedy, and for your grace. I thank you for Jesus, your son, who died on the cross that we may come to him and experience eternal life. I've never regretted being obedient, for in obedience we give You control of the outcome. As a control freak, that's something that I have had to work on every day. This morning, I am filled with peace ... You are good and I give you my life to use for your glory.  Amen, it is so...

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS: Please know I pray for you each and every day. My love for you grows as my blog is being read in countries across the globe.  I just love what Elisabeth Elliott has to say, "Does it make sense to pray for guidance about the future if we are not obeying in that lies before us today?  How many momentous events in Scripture depended on one person's seemingly small act of obedience!  Rest assured, do what God tells you to do now; and, depend upon it, you will be shown what to do next." Let's get together again soon!  Hopefully, I am back in the saddle of life and am set to get on with things. Care to join me?

In the Arms of an Angel

In the Arms of an Angel

March 26, 2014
Thursday

Dear God,

I have been doing laps around the back yard then decided I would walk a couple blocks to the Pederson house then head back. I was thinking that I would walk to the end of the dead end street but I remembered Cathey (Home Health RN) say that I needed to not walk so far that I couldn't make it back home. 

God, you are so good to me and I have felt like you orchestrated every moment of my getting to Baylor Frisco, undergoing surgery, being transported to Reliant Rehab, and then home. I cannot thank you enough to allowing me to heal quickly and be able to get on with my life. There's one more thing I am praying for ~ for some reason every time I have surgery, Fibro Fog rears it's ugly head and my brain feels like its scrambled. Unless I write "it" down "it" goes in one ear and out the other. Help me to clear out the cobwebs.

Maybe if I visualize sweeping the cobwebs out it would help. I think I will give that a try!

Come on Bud, play that harmonica!

Last Sunday, we went to church and I felt your presence and was wrapped in love.  It's kind of hard to describle but I saw myself as being wrapped in the arms of an angel. I was 2 weeks and 3 days out of surgery. I struggled getting dressed and the car ride was kinda bumpy but I made it. To sit in "my chair" was so awesome. I found myself getting lost in the music, drinking in every bit of the sermon, and strengthened by the time of greeting others. I forgot my camera and had so many opportunities to record the magnificence of the Open Range Cowboy Church. I have my purse packed for next Sunday and my camera is in it. Every Sunday, I pinch myself saying, "Is this church for real?" I've felt like kind of a leech because I am getting so much and not giving back like I want to.  I'm praying that  now that my back is taken care of, I will be able get my little ole body over there during the week. Oh yes, a car ... I need a car too. (Smile) I even thought about a scooter. Vroom! Vroom! I can see me now, whizzing down the country roads, hair blowing in the wind!! Or, maybe not...

A 4-wheeler might work!! I loved playing on my
brothers farm & helping to gather wood.

Yesterday, Michael had a doctor's appointment in Waco, so I tagged along. I did a lot of walking and breathing in the freshness of the air. I had some mighty tasty fajitas at On the Border for lunch. I missed having my margarita ~ on the rocks, lip of glass with a thick layer of salt, and a nice wedge of fresh lime. I knew that if I imbibed, I would be in slumberland before I could count to 10.  From there we visited Lowe's, Home Depot, Petco, and, last stop Bonnie's Nursery where I found the most gorgeous rose ~ Y2K. It's yellow and supposedly has some red in it.  By the time we walked through Bonnie's, I was spent and wishing I'd brought my pillow along!!

One of the most difficult things for me to remember is to not just get into my usual routine.  I walked by the Y2K rose this morning and my immediate thought was that I needed to plant it. The laundry was piling up and I started to sort clothes. For those of us who are homemakers, we take charge of what needs to be done and just do it. I looked at Zoe ... she managed to dig in the mud and her paws were all muddy. Then I remembered that I am to be released from home health care tomorrow and it wouldn't do for me to be holding my aching back!!

Lord, I like it that you are here visiting with me this morning. I just love it when  I can hold your hand and lay my troubles at your feet. I'm asking that you send your mightiest angels down here to watch over everyone on my prayer list. My friend, Peggy, lost her son to cancer and I just hate that for her. No matter how much we are trusting in you, there is still hurt when our prayers aren't answered the way we want them to. Please make yourself known to the many who believe in you and who want to be obedient to your wishes. And, Father, also make yourself known to those who are "on the fence" or are just plain evil. Nothing is impossible with You!! Amen, it is so...

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS:  

Enough said!

Every little thing's gonna be alright...

Every Little Thing's Gonna Be Alright!

March 17, 2015
Tuesday

Dear God,

We haven't been getting together much since my surgery on March 5. My brain has been so discombobulated from pain meds and pain in general that my thinking cap has been tilted. Before I do anything today, I just want to say, "Thank you!"

Thank you for guiding us through the winter storm of March 4 and for the beautiful suite the hospital gave us to rest in rather than sleep in our car. Thank you for the delicious meal that warmed our tummies on a night that was so foreboding.

(My surgery was scheduled for 10:30am on the 5th ~ we were under a winter storm advisory (the evening of the 4th and into the 5th) and wintry precipitation was on it's way. We decided to go to Dallas Wednesday night to try beat the storm and took pillows and blankets should we need to sleep in the car. The storm waited until we were just a couple blocks from the hospital then let loose with a fury. Michael asked if we could sleep inside in the lobby by the fire. The receptionist said, "I think we can do better than that" and led us to a beautiful suite on the surgical floor. They admitted me early on the 5th and I was good to go!) 

Thank you for Dr. Carmody and his staff for the excellent job they did on restoring my spine to better than new condition. When I had my check-up yesterday, Dr. C said that the day after surgery I was really mad at him and wouldn't open my eyes or respond to him. We got a chuckle about my demeanor that day. Pain meds do weird things! Since I don't remember anything about my surgery or even being transported to the Reliant Rehab Center the following Saturday, I would say, I was not in the best state of mind.

It wasn't until I told the nurses to lessen the dosage of the pain meds, that I began to regain some sense of being "with it." I must say tho ... I got a lot of much needed rest and my dreams were filled with pleasantness. If any of my Readers came to see me in the hospital and I haven't said thank you, please know, I appreciate your concern and friendship. Miss Dottie may have been physically present BUT in every other aspect, she had mentally left the building!! 

One of the songs that kept filling my mind as I rested was Bob Marley's Every Little Thing's Gonna Be Alright. It's a catchy little tune that brought smiles to my thoughts. Come on, sing along as you read my blog!

Yesterday, I was released from rehab, made a trip to see Dr. Carmody then headed south to home base. I had asked Michael to bring a couple pillows which made riding a breeze. When I got home, I sat down on the sofa in the patio and waited for Michael to let out the pups. OMG, when Kennedy spied me, he started crying and I thought he was going to have a heart attack. One thing nice about adopting senior dogs, is that they love to snuggle and snooze. We all went into the cottage and took a nice nap ~ all of them finding a place to "touch" me. (Sigh) I would say our pack is very balanced, each holding a special place in my heart.  

Today, we are trying to get set up for Home Health Visits, doctor's appointments, and assessing what else I need to do to get my household back in order. I am definitely ready to live life without back and leg pain. The physical therapists said I needed to slow down and not rush my recovery. Slow down? Not sure I know what that means!

I am so fortunate, Lord, and I don't take that for granted. I just had a very serious surgery and came through with flying colors. Not only that, in a little more than a week since surgery, I am walking without a cane, walker, or using a wheel chair. My 12 inch incision has healed and I can begin to take showers without covering it. (But NO soaking in my claw foot tub! Boo hiss!) The doctors, nurses, and physical therapists were delighted with my progress (I could do the exercises first go around). I think working outside in my gardens has kept me pretty physically fit. 

You know, I truly believe that as I smile, the world smiles back at me. When I was in therapy, I was able to pray for the other people there. As I walked through the hallways, I could pray for the patients. In all the surgeries I have had, I've never been to in-patient therapy afterwards. I would say that the it helped tremendously and, I would do it again.

Thou hast been my rock and my redeemer and I couldn't let one more day go by without giving you credit for clearing the way to my surgery and organizing the most minute of details. It was You who held my hand in those painful hours after surgery and You who calmed the storm.

Father I pray for others who are experiencing surgeries and painful recoveries. Give us all strength to withstand the knitting together of wounds, bones, organs... I boldly ask that you claim yours spreading peace and mercy where there is hurt and discord. The armies of the angels march to your beat and do your will. You, Lord, are life everlasting!  For sure, You've given me a new lease on life ... let's see what we can do with the days ahead! Amen, it is so!

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS:  Anyone facing health issues has a desire to be restored to health, walking tall in righteousness, with God standing behind them. That visual alone is enough to uplift, but the promise behind it is where hope is found.

"Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard." ~Isaiah 58:8

The greatest gift that can be given to someone in pain is a reminder that they are not forgotten and that the pain is only temporary. Strength will be restored, faith will grow, and God's grace will steady us for the future.

The simplest act of love can mean a great deal to someone who is in the midst of a health battle. It meant so much to me to soak in the blessing of visits, flowers, notes, and prayers. One night, I woke with a start. Michael had gone back home earlier in the day but at that late hour, there he was standing beside my bed. My first words to him?  "Who died?" He smiled and said, "No one, I just needed to be here."(His hands were full of nightclothes) We talked awhile then he was off disappearing into the night. Great gifts come in precious moments!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

 

Hold Him in Heaven for Me!

Hold Him in Heaven for Me

March 1, 2015
"Son"day

Dear God,

It was cold and rainy when I opened my eyes this morning. My mind and spirit wanted to go to church; my body was aching and was crying out for more rest. I jumped up and before I could change my mind, got dressed in record time. Before long, we were winding down country roads with our windshield wipers swishing. Brr... With all the rain coming down, the snow is sure to be gone this afternoon. 

Seven months ago, I began attending the Open Range Cowboy Church in Whitney, Texas. I cannot even begin to express what has happened within me. All I can tell You is that the minute I walk through those doors, You're there to greet me and my spirit leaps for joy infusing me with liquid love. Today, I swear, You were there, Jesus was there, and the Holy Spirit was doing magic. I have prayed that You would guide my hands and thoughts this day as I tell Your Story. 

This past Tuesday, two dear friends of mine, lost their grandson. Kasen was 8 months in utero. His mother delivered him and he was welcomed by his family and held tightly. His Grandmother Diane, "Mimi," described him as a perfect little angel with a head full of dark hair; his grandfather described the moment as surreal ... a time of hello and goodbye. Mom, Dad and the rest of the family were numb, angry, in shock, and oh, so broken. They'd all talked about little Kasen for months ~ and, how soon he'd be making his appearance. Little did they know that last Monday Kasen would spend his last day on earth.  Tuesday morning, he was ... gone. His little heart just stopped beating.

Everyone copes with the death of a child differently yet in one sentence, they all agree, their baby was gone only to be seen one day in heaven.  Empty arms hurt. Oh how they hurt!

This morning we all rallied around to hug and comfort them. We cried with them and wished there was something more we could do. Prayers had been and were being offered in hopes of healing their broken hearts and spirits. Before the service started, they were not alone ~ they were surrounded by love and Your Spirit!

We had a special performance by Barbara Fairchild and Roy Morris this morning. They had come in from Branson, MO and although they were exhausted from the trip, they brightened our morning with jokes, stories, and song. About midway through their performance, Barbara told a story about her grandson who passed away when he was 7 months old. (She had no precious knowledge of what had happened to Diane and Brad this week). She began to sing the song, Hold Him in Heaven for Me and Diane went to the altar. One by one other women flanked her and ministered to her need. The Holy Spirit took Barbara Fairchild and used her to minister to everyone who has lost children and grandchildren through abortion, miscarriage, illness, or stillbirth. God, You knew, didn't you? Of all the stories Barbara had to share, it was this one that she spoke of from her heart.

I had tears and a lump in my throat as I thought about my own grandchildren that were in heaven. Everyone expects the parents to mourn but little is mentioned about the grandparents and the love held for their grandchildren. I witnessed a miracle today. You took Brad and Diane's loss and showed them point blank that You heard their tears of sorrow and were with them. You showed others that You had been and would always be with us. You brought two people from Branson, MO way down into Central Texas to wrap their arms around a family and touch their lives forever. What a miracle.

Each person who spoke today had special messages ... Miss Kitty (who just lost her father) held the attention and hearts of the little buckaroos; Pastor Rick, reminded me that no matter what happened to me and no matter how old I got, I should "use what I had left to the glory of God;" and, after Barbara and Roy had performed, Pastor Dudley, took us to another level of intimacy with the Father. The altar was filled with people coming before God with their broken dreams, sins, and hearts knowing that they could leave them at the altar. Jesus said, "Go and sin no more." He did NOT say pick up your load and follow me. We are raised to a newness in life and cleansed from ALL unrighteousness.

I hated for the service to end. There's never been a set time for it to be over and I like that. Worship at the Open Range Church is orchestrated by You with Pastor Dudley as the main shepherd. I wanted to sit in my seat today and just soak in what had transpired in those two hours. I wanted to move into a more glorious form of worship with the Open Range Band. I wanted to let You know how much I loved You for who You are and what You mean to me.

Father God in Heaven: Peace! Be still! (Mark 4:39) As we confess our sin and are forgiven, help us to leave our baggage behind. May we walk hand in hand with You throughout our days using our minutes to Your Glory. For those grandparents, parents, men, and women who came to the altar today, I ask for your divine mercy. Help them to rise above their tragedy and use it to minister to others. Help me to put the deaths of my own grandchildren in your hands. I am sure there must be a special place in Heaven for those little ones. Protect our hearts, minds, and spirits from the evil one. Let us NOT believe the words of Satan that keep us from moving forward. Thank you over and over for this day of miracles. You knew and You showed us that You were in control. Amen, it is so!

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS:  Ever break a mirror?  What do you do? Throw it away? If you look into a broken mirror you will experience a distortion of your image. Don't keep those distortions to punish yourself over and over. Leave them at the foot of the cross ~ in the trash can ~ moving on to use what you have left to glorify God!

It is days like this that I know there is a living God. What is so amazing to me is how He used a tragedy to minister to so many. I am blessed to be in a church where the Spirit moves so mightily. I see it, I feel it, I know it without a doubt! 

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU

... each and every one of you!

"God is magnificent; he can never be praised enough. There are no boundaries to his greatness. Generation after generation stands in awe of your work; each one tells stories of your mighty acts. Your beauty and splendor have everyone talking; I compose songs on your wonders. Your marvelous doings are headline news; I could write a book full of the details of your greatness. The fame of your goodness spreads across the country; your righteousness is on everyone's lips. God is all mercy and grace - not quick to anger, is rich in love. God is good to one and all; everything he does is suffused with grace. Creation and creatures applaud you, God; Your holy people bless you. They talk about the glories of your rule, they exclaim over your splendor, letting the world know of your power for good, the lavish splendor of your kingdom. Your kingdom is a kingdom eternal; you never get voted out of office. God always does what he says and is gracious in everything he does."

~Psalm 145:3-13 (MSG)