It's dark in here...

Monday
October 24, 2016

Dear Readers,

Hey, it's me saying hello from my perch on the back porch. I love it when temperatures start to fall and those horrible pesky mosquitoes die off. They woo me and take nips at my flesh. I spray them, swat at them, and let go with a few gosh darns. You'd think they'd get the hint but nooooo.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and every October I take a few moments to remember how grateful I am to have come so far from where I once was. If you've followed my blogs since 2010 you know my story.

"It's dark in here. I am cuddling a soft teddy bear and listening to unfamiliar sounds. I am at Hope's Door. I am numb. I stare blankly into the night wondering what's to become of me. I am so alone and frightened. This must be a bad dream yet I know it's not. Bad dreams have an ending and this nightmare has gone on since I was a small child. Where is there to go when there seems to be nowhere? What will tomorrow bring?" ~Miss Dottie's Journal, October 2, 2002 

I am a 2 time domestic violence survivor. My story made the front page of the newspaper and a poem I had written was entitled Jane's Story by editors. God has used my story and these seasons of my life for his glory. How?

Well, shortly after the newspaper article was published, the pastor of my church approached me about several things. First of all, he asked if I would be willing to sit on the Board of Directors of a group establishing the first women's shelter in Collin County; and. secondly, he told me about a program called Stephen's Ministry and asked if I was interested in the year long training. He was also bringing together a group called Word and Witness which would be a 2 year commitment. I agreed to all three.

Being a part of the establishing the women's shelter was so amazing. I was placed on the Speaker's Forum and traveled to various churches and associations. My first talk was to a men's group in Frisco, TX. They had so many questions (I found it interesting that the men often times had more questions than the women). My daughter accompanied me and they asked her questions as well. Being on the Speaker's Forum became a family affair.

Being a commissioned Stephen's Minister prepared me for a lifetime of service to my fellow travelers in life. "Supply the caring ~ let God supply the cure" became second nature for me.

Sometimes when I've been down in the trenches, I've wondered why God allows us to be beaten down physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Then, I remember that:

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

 ~Romans 8:28

Without my walking through the valleys of darkness, I would not be able to relate to the women going through trials of their own. I am able to share my story and offer ways to not only survive but thrive. I am able to give them tools and a knowledge of how Christ worked in my life. (Back then, I could talk freely about Jesus without fear of reprisal)

In 2002, I was a resident in the very shelter that I helped establish. I was living in a huge house filled with stuff and I worried about my stuff. If I left the relationship, where would I put my stuff?? The Good Lord moved me out of that situation and house in the dark of night leaving all my stuff behind. He stripped me down to nothing in order to build me up again in Him. When I went back to the house 30 days later, I told my children to bring moving vans and fill them. I kept only enough stuff to fill a tiny one bedroom apartment. What was leftover, I asked my friends to come and take what they wanted. A couple friends purchased my den furniture and kitchen furniture. My stuff no longer defined me and still doesn't

When the house was bare, I looked around me and had tears. My little granddaughter gathered friends and family in the den and we all sang the Tooty Ta Song.

Madison had us laughing and focusing on what was important. Often times it takes a child for us to see that. There was joy! I closed the door, locked it, and moved on...

God has always been my protector and provider. Time and time again, I have been molded through trial and fire to be more like Him. He has taken away bitterness, anger, and pain leaving me stronger and forgiving (my counselors have told me that I am proof that God still performs miracles!)

I am able to give the love I always wanted without strings. He has filled me and blessed me in ways I could never have imagined.

Today, I pray for the women, children, and men who are being abused. I pray that You, Father, would protect and show them a better way of life. It is so easy to judge people for their past and I pray that we would offer compassion and forgiveness. Hate the sin ~ love the sinner. I pray that as we go about our day today, that You would open our eyes to our fellowman. So many times we are too busy and too much in a hurry to "see" what is going on around us. Lord God, as I opened my eyes this morning, I heard the words, "pray for Aleppo." As I closed my eyes I had a vision of fire and people running ... faces of those facing the atrocities of war came before me and I prayed for each one. Be with them Jesus as they fight to survive. Thank you for reminding me that You are God Almighty. I pray in the name of Jesus as your servant...

Miss Dottie

PS "When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sand paper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless." ~Chris Colfer