Yay!!

March 28, 2013

Well, hello there.  Thanks for clicking on my blog.  While I was deep in prayer this morning, there were many faces that came to me for prayer ~~ maybe yours was one of them.  I just love the sweet times I am having reconnecting with my Lord (see my blog, I Must Confess).  I am finding that I am more patient and feeling more upbeat.  For those of you who have read my blog, I Must Confess, you know the struggles I've had.  I am happy to report that I am making progress.

We had a few days of cold weather.  Luckily, it's warming up and believe me, it feels so good!  I miss my homeland of Minnesota but I don't think my body could stand the long winters.  I like piddling in my gardens too much and being outside.

Little Casa - No Gardens 01-01-2010

Little Casa Gardens 01-01-2011

Little Casa Gardens 01-01-2012

Little Casa Gardens 01-01-2013

Speaking of gardens.  Mom S went into the nursing home 5 years ago.  For the first couple years, we didn't know for sure if she would remain there or be able to return home.  When, it was decided that she would spend her remaining days at Town Hall Estates, we decided to renovate her house.  Three years ago, I planted a few Knock-Out Roses next to the house in the backyard.  Last Summer when we decided to turn the old garage into a cottage, I began to really turn my energy into planting gardens throughout the back yard.  It was one of those projects that took a lot of back breaking energy but now, I am reaping the rewards of my labor.  Don't get me wrong, my plants have a long way to go to reach maturity; yet, I love watching their progress and adding perennials where I have big blank spaces.  It is our hope and prayer that when Michael and I pass away that someone will love the little casa, cottage, and gardens enough to keep them going.  Throughout the process of expanding and refining my gardens, I am reminded that as Christians, we go through the same process.  We accept Christ as our Savior, then he starts working in our hearts.  Bit by bit we trod on the stepping stones of refinement.  As He feeds our roots, we blossom and grow!!!  

This week is Holy Week.  I am missing my Lutheran roots of celebrating Ash Wednesday, and Lent culminating in the intensity of services on Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday.  Two years ago, I drove into Plano and attended Good Friday services at Resurrection Lutheran Church.  I was a charter member of that church in the 1970's (a bit of trivia ... my son was the last member on the charter!) and attended for many years.  I was moved to tears at the deepness of the service; and, as a Christian, I truly "got" the message of Christ's death on the cross.  If you're thinking about surrendering your life to Christ, a new Christian, or even a seasoned believer, I suggest watching the movie, The Passion Of the Christ ... I am sure you will get the message.

It's nearly noon and my tummy is grumbling.  I missed breakfast this morning so I will have breakfast for lunch!  Then, it will be time for my exercise tape.  (See, I truly am making progress!)

See you in church on Easter Sunday as Christians all over the world celebrate the Resurrection!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

PS  "Where man sees but withered leaves, God sees sweet flowers growing."~~Albert Laighton 

No Fear

March 28, 2013

The sun is shining so brightly that I almost need sunglasses inside the cottage!  It's days like this that I wake up excited about getting dressed, eating a good breakfast, and going about my business of making this day count!

 I was thinking this morning about fear and how attitude about fear affects our lives.  When I was a small child, I had no fear.  I ran out into the world thinking that it was my playground ... a place to explore, experience, and enjoy.  I hated being cooped up or told I couldn't do something.  From the first sign of Spring until that first snowfall of Winter, I was on the move.  My poor mother had a tough time with me.  I was her precocious busy child.  I woke up in the morning asking "Why?" and closed my eyes at night still babbling about my day.  I exhausted her and tried her patience.

God doesn't make mistakes.  He knew where I needed to be to grow up ~~ a small town where I was able to spread my wings.  Everyone looked out for everyone else.  Doors were rarely locked and the job of a policeman was pretty hum drum.   Every time I managed to escape into my surroundings the phone would ring and my whereabouts would be reported to my mother.  I'll bet she was glad when I reached school age and really able to fend for myself.  Until then ... well, let's just say that Miss Dottie the explorer would be a proper name!

Fast forward to my young adult years:

I was afraid of everything and fear ran my life.  My fearfulness led to insecurities.  I stood in the shadow of my husband ~~ a quiet subservient wife.  When we were divorced, panic struck.  I learned very quickly how much I had been sheltered.  Quaking in my boots, I entered the job force asking God for guidance.  As He paved the way for me, I began to believe that He truly would do what was best for me at the right time.  Looking back, I am amazed at the doors He opened for me my entire working career.

First John 4:16 points out that we should be conscious of God's love.  Personally, I needed to experience it daily as I battled fear.  I began to keep a journal of my life recording all the ways God protected and provided for me and for my family.  Journaling helped me become more conscious of His love, and I began to heal.

If you are bound in chains because of fear,  Hebrews 13:5-6 says you can trust God to come to your rescue.  If you need financial support, He'll provide.  If it's physical support, He'll sustain you.  If you need emotional support, He'll comfort you.  He'll nourish you and bring you to a place of strength.  I know it's true ... I've lived and experienced His promises!

Remember, God is for you.  Satan is against you, but the greater One lives in you and you can take that to the bank.  If you live in fear, I encourage you to say (out loud) several times a day with confidence, "God loves me and if he brings me to it, He'll bring me through it."  Personally, I wrote that on my bathroom mirror to remind me.

Romans 8:38-39 tells us:  "For I am persuaded beyond doubt that neither death nor life, no angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

As long as we refuse to let anything separate us from God's love, protection, strength, and provision, we will have the victory over fear.

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

PS  "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.  You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." ~~Eleanor Roosevelt 

I must confess...

March 22, 2013

It's an absolutely wonderful Spring day in Central Texas.  I filled the bird feeder yesterday ... from the sound of the chatter you'd think I lived in an aviary!  I have a bird's eye (little pun there!) view from the sofa in the cottage and find myself almost in a trance watching their antics.

I took a walk through the gardens this morning and was so excited to see so many of my plants flowering and developing blooms.  At least with gardening, I am able to see the fruits of my labors.  I also have had to deal with Cotton Root Rot which took 2 of the trees I planted last year.  Doing research on that...

When you hear those words, "I must confess," what do you think?  Do your ears perk up ready to hear the juicy confession?  Last night, I was feeling very melancholy and couldn't figure out what was wrong.  Finally, I blurted out, "Lord, what is wrong with me?"  As usual, He answered ... "You've forgotten me."  I hung my head because I knew it was true.

Have you ever stopped going to church, listening to praise music, reading the Bible, and, attending Bible studies?  Well, let me raise my hand.  I must confess...  Oh, I was reading a few Psalms, scanning the Bible but not digging in, praying short prayers.  But (should be a big BUT!) I haven't been immersed in the all the goodness that my Lord has provided for me.  I've been one of those ho hum Christians...

When I heard the words, "You've forgotten me," I knew somethings needed to change.  I decided to write down a plan of action and get myself out of my doldrums.  Oh yes, I've had lots of excuses ... the move here, surgery, illnesses ... but, those are pretty lame excuses when I really thought about it.  The truth of the matter is that I've been waiting for my husband to find us a church or for someone to invite us to church and me to a Bible study.  Again, pretty lame excuses.

The truth of the matter is that I need to take control of my own search ... ME!  I am the one who needs to step out in faith and do what I know I need to do to get back to my old self.  I know that realizing that something needs to change and doing it are two different things.  Procrastination is not an option!

When I moved to Central Texas I knew it was going to be a big change.  What I didn't realize was that I would enter a period of grieving for what I had lost.  I had lived north of Dallas since 1971.  Besides, my hometown in Minnesota, that is where my roots were.  Retirement has been another big change -- I was used to having a nice paycheck come in.  I didn't count on the stock market doing a dive.  Having 12+ surgeries on my neck, back, and feet since 2004 has been a challenge yet, I am grateful that I can walk and function on a high level.  I think that any time we go through multiple losses, we are going to experience a down time.  What do you think?  Maybe I need to cut myself just a little slack.

Soooo, now what?  I confess that I read the book of James in the Bible this morning and loved every moment.  The words seemed to leap out at me and I felt fed.  I decided to write my blog then will dive into my wonderful claw foot tub, get dressed, and do some research on churches here.  I've been a Lutheran and a Baptist but that doesn't mean other denominations don't preach the word of God!

James 5:16 (AMP) says:  Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray (also) for one another that you may be healed and restored (to a spiritual tone of mind and heart).  The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available (dynamic in its working). 

If you are like me and have been down in the dump of life, I ask that you join me on my journey back to my old self.  Think about what you can do and move forward.  Ask God to show you the way and, believe me, He will!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

PS  Rest assured...

I work for the good of those who love Me (Romans 8:28)

And My love is eternally with them. (Psalms 103:17)

Nothing can separate them from the love of Christ,

Neither trouble nor persecution, famine, nakedness or danger. (Romans 8:35)

Be convinced that nothing in all creation -

Neither death nor life, angels or demons,

The present or the future, no height or depth or any power -

Can separate My children from the love revealed in My Son,

Jesus Christ, your Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

Let me hear a big AMEN as you read this!!  Now, go enjoy your day!!







  

Keepsakes of the Heart

March 21, 2013

Today is my granddaughter Katrina's 10th birthday so Happy Birthday to a young lady who is just as beautiful inside as she is out!  It would be nice to have hopped a private jet and flew over to help you celebrate today.  I can wish can't I?  I know you're having a great day and your party will be a smash hit!

The gentle breezes of night air are whistling about the cottage.  I forgot to replace a burned out bulb outside today, so I cannot look far into the back yard.  Sadie is snoring peacefully and, rest assured, she would let me know if anything was amiss that would cause us harm.  I heard thunder earlier and am hoping that we will get some rain.  My gardens would love that and so would I!

Today I felt rather melancholy.  I'd had a few days of severe Occipital Nerve pain that I just couldn't get away from.  I would get so worn out from fighting the pain that I was not a good person for me to be around.  I hate those days.  Can you relate?  Most of the time, I am able to use the old "mind over matter," but that just wasn't working.  Today, the pain subsided but I was just flat out exhausted.

I woke early, had a hot cup of coffee, read some Psalms and The Texas Gardener and fell back to sleep.  Later, I put some soft jazz on, lit some Market III candles, took a soak in my claw foot tub, and reread the book GIFT FROM THE SEA.  I filled the bird feeder with some tasty fruit bits and nuts and the song birds went nuts.  They were singing and munching and filling the air with their voices.  My neighbor came over with some dinner for me.  It was a great day to let the healing juices fill my body.  Oh goodness, do I hear thunder?  Some rain would be the perfect ending to a rather soulful day!

Facebook has been a great way for me to reconnect with old friends, family and make new friends.  Often times the keepsakes of the heart are actually memories triggered by comments or photos.  There have been some photos posted of my hometown, Glenwood, Minnesota that I am feasting on.  It was such a grand city full of wonderful architecture, schools, churches and stores.  Since folks tended to shop close by (travel by a Model-T or horse limited things!!) this little city was a hub for many.  I especially enjoy the photo of a hot air balloon going up and the local bandstand where folks gathered to listen to local and school bands.  My family roots grow deep there ... the keepsakes of the heart started in the 1800's for my father's family and further back into the 1400's when my mother's family came to America.

I tend to think that keepsakes of the heart aren't things but those special places, times, and people who come into our lives.  Today, I was instant messaging with a dear friend from high school.  Her comments made tears well up in my eyes.  I had no idea, how deeply I had touched her life.  Since my memories of my childhood years are so scattered, it was wonderful to hear from another, that I mattered enough to even remember my handwriting.  Why is it that I listened to hurtful people with agendas of their own who tore at my soul and pounded my body?  Why was I drawn to those who didn't like me and treated me as if I were a clump of dirt?  I was just a sweet, caring person who thought I needed to work my way into people's hearts.  I wasn't good enough to be loved for myself.  I'm glad that my today's are different!

I also had a message today from my cousin who has been touring Europe this Winter.  It's those surprise messages that brighten my day and cause me to take out another keepsake in my heart.  Cousin Gary, maybe you should stay in Spain awhile longer ... I hear it's still Winter in Minnesota!!  It will be great one day to hear all about his trip and adventures!

Since it's my granddaughter's birthday, I have been taking out the keepsakes in my heart remembering when her mom went into labor and watching the video of her birth.  It was such a joy making that trip to Minnesota to hold her in my arms and ooh and aah over her.  What a gift she has been and is for our family.  Being a long distance grandmother is for the birds.  I am grateful that her mom keeps me updated on school and her activities.  Hopefully, I will be seeing her in June but if not in June, for sure in November when she comes to Texas.

My grandmother lived to just short of her 100th birthday.  Can you imagine all the keepsakes she pondered in her heart?  Just blogging about my own keepsakes makes me feel so blessed and grateful for those special times and people who have left footprints on my life and heart.  It's nice to know I matter and it's important to let those people who have been so instrumental in my life know they matter.

Now, that being said, maybe you (myself included) need to pick up pen and paper or the phone and make some calls.  The letters my father wrote to my mother in WWII mean so much because I know that in the tough times of my mother's life and in my own, we needed to hear about the keepsakes in his heart.

Always known you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!

Miss Dottie

PS  "The heart, like the mind, has a memory.  And in it are kept the most precious keepsakes." ~~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

PSS  The gospel writer Luke has a special attraction to Mary and her pondering heart.  I As a mother, I know Mary kept the events of Jesus birth and life treasuring all things.  We can only imagine her pondering of the keepsakes in her heart at the foot of the cross.  Her time with her son could never be taken away yet but for a moment those keepsakes were all she had to hang on to until the resurrection.  God bless you this Easter Season! 

Hugs..

March 17, 2013

A top of the morning to ya!  It's St. Patrick's Day ... a great day for everything green!  Green is not my color but will try find something green to wear today.  Hubby brought me coffee this morning and insisted he had green in the plaid of his pajama pants.  Sorry, dear, I think you were stretching it a bit...

I love St. Patrick's Day ~~ maybe because it's a day of doing the jig, laughing, giving blessings, and hugging lots of folks.  Some I know enjoy green beer and the revelry at the local pubs.  I really dislike beer ~~ maybe I could add a little green food coloring to a gin 'n' tonic??  Or, maybe I could add some color to my twice baked potatoes.  Maybe not...

Sometimes everything we want to say can be accomplished with a hug that say, "Hello friend!"   I am a hugger ... If I sense I am getting into someone's space, I will shake your hand BUT it takes everything I have in me not to give a big hug!!  My new found friend here in Central Texas said to me the other day, "Dottie, I've finally realized that you just love to hug ... at first I was uncomfortable but now I look forward to your smiles, upbeat personality, and HUGS!"  That made me smile.

Did you know that we need 8 hugs a day and there is such a thing a hugging therapy?  I don't know about you but hugging (and laughter) helps me in healing from surgery, losses, loneliness, anxiety, and stress.  Why?

I find that hugging helps with open and honest communication.  When people know that you care there is safety in revealing one's hurts.  From the time we're born our family's touch shows us that we're loved and special.  I did not come from a hugging family ... quite the contrary.  HOWEVER, because hugging was so important to me, I decided early on to cuddle and hug my own children, making sure they knew they were special.  Now I have grandchildren to hug and cherish.  Yay!  I think hugging is now built in to my family's dna!

There are times when I ask my husband for a hug ... he's not a hugger so it doesn't come naturally to him.  I tell him that hugs teach us how to give and receive.  There is equal value in receiving and being receptive to warmth, as to giving and sharing.  Hugs educate us how love flows both ways.  When I hug and am hugged, I am totally in the splendor of the moment.  I am connecting with those I care about.  He's 6'2" tall and I am 5'2" tall ~~ I love it when he hugs so tight that he lifts me off the ground.  Ah yes...

I read that we need four hugs a day for survival.  We need eight hugs a day for maintenance.  We need twelve hugs a day for growth.  Well boy howdy, something as simple as a hug is pretty darn important.

My mother lived with me for six months before she passed away.  I scrubbed her back when she bathed and used to give her back rubs when her spine ached.  My father had died years before and I imagine she missed his loving touch.  When I used to go tot he nursing home to visit Mom S, she loved to hug and kiss.  She could get quite vocal when we missed too many days of coming to visit her.  I think she missed that human contact ~~ those hugs and kisses were important to her well being.  The picture on the left is taken at the St. Patrick's Day party at the nursing home.  Mom S love St. Paddy's day!!

After my last surgery, I spent the night at my son and daughter in law's home.  I got lots of hugs and kisses and felt cared for ~~ my healing process began with such peacefulness.  During the night, my son came in to my room to check on me (like I had done hundreds of time when he was a boy).  He stood by my bed and touched my head.  I don't remember if I even acknowledged that he was there but my spirit knew.  My son has carried on the baton of checking on his sons as they sleep, praying for them, and making sure they get their quotas of hugs for the day.  Oh the unspoken blessings of touch and hugs!

My Heavenly Father hugs me through his word and by bringing people into my life to let me know I am special.  My friend, Beverly, is one of the most caring, loving people I have ever met.  Her random acts of kindness are always surprising me.  My friend, Etta, like Beverly, exudes caring, passion, and love.  My childhood friend, Pam, always signs her emails, "Hugs" ~~ and, I know she means it.  When I think about it, my whole family has become huggers and are quite vocal about our "I love you's!"  Somehow, I'd like to think that when the good Lord hugged me, his light began to shine out through me and the warmth of the hug got passed on.

This is St. Patrick's Day.  I hope you will pass along the blessing of the hug.  Who knows, your hug may be the start of something BIG!

Always know you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!  Virtual hugs sent world-wide!

Miss Dottie

PS  I couldn't sign off without giving you a wonderful Irish blessing:

May the blessing of the rain be on you~~

the soft sweet rain.

May it fall upon your spirit

so that all the little flowers may spring up,

and shed their sweetness on the air.

May the blessing of the great rains be on you,

may they beat upon your spirit

and wash it fair and clean,

and leave there many a shining pool

where the blue of heaven shines,

and sometimes a star.

The "E" Word

March 13, 2013

A rousing good morning, Readers!  I hope that you opened your eyes to a world full of hope and promise.  I woke up to two sets of dark brown eyes staring down at me letting me know that it was time for breakfast, a potty call, and the beginning of a new day.  Love it!! 

For several weeks now, I have been plagued by a prompting to write about the "E" word so I figured God must have something to say to someone about it.  We all know about the "B" word and the "F" word but how about adding the "E" word...

"E" stands for empathy.  It's what Christ has for us as he anticipates our every need.  It's what Christ has for us as he listens to our pleas and wipes away our tears.  He is our model of perfection.  Empathy is being able to sense the needs and emotions of another ... it is an unselfish act of caring for another.

When we honestly ask ourselves which people mean the most to us, we often times find that it is those who are able to share our pain and touch our hurts with a warm and tender hand.  The friend who can come alongside us in those moments of despair and confusion not thinking of themselves but able to offer hope in our powerlessness ~~ that is a friend who cares.

A couple weeks ago, my husband was attending a training class in Chicago.  Thursday morning he had to call 911 and was taken to the hospital ER ~~ from there placed in the Critical Care Unit.  An endoscopy showed that he had a duodenal ulcer that had bled out during the night.  I was so impressed at the empathy shown by the EMT's, the ER staff, the doctors, and the company Michael works for.  They took over meeting his every need, assuring and encouraging him every step of the way.  They all went above and beyond what was necessary.  Not only did those folks display empathy during his hospital stay, they followed up when he returned home to Texas.  Going that extra mile is empathy.

I would say that it often times difficult for us to have empathy for another if we have not shared their path.  I believe that is why Christ came to earth as man to walk among us.  He knows, first hand...  There have been articles written about Jesus having a wife and children.  I would think that would have been recorded in the Bible; however, if it should be discovered that he did, would that make him less God?  To me, it would just give Him another level of empathy.

I have been recovering from major surgery.  Luckily, my surgeon is highly skilled and my body strong going into the surgery making recovery less stressful.  I can't even count the number of surgeries I have had to repair my  bones affected by arthritis and degeneration of the spine.  The good news is that I am rarely ill and keep myself as physically, mentally, and spiritually fit as possible.  I know there will probably come a time when doctors cannot mend my crumbling bones so I pack as much as I can into my days.  However, I have hope...  I had my first cervical spine surgery in 2010 and spent 6 weeks recovering ending in less pain but also less mobility.  Two years later, I had a more extensive cervical spine surgery and I wondered how I would fare...

At my post-op check-up eleven days after surgery, I was way ahead of the recovery schedule.  Due to advancements in spinal surgery, I have complete mobility in my neck and although I am still  healing in the swallowing arena, my strength has returned and I am well on my way to better days!!  What a difference a couple years makes!

Dr. Carmody, the orthopedic surgeon who operated on my neck was voted most compassionate doctor, 2010.  He empathizes with his patients delivering cutting edge technology.  His team is top-notch ~~ as I was wheeled into the surgical room, I was greeted by faces offering words of comfort.  I just knew that I was in good hands and felt no fear.

Each of us has walked the road of life experiencing the wonderful, the good, and the not so good.  Our past has defined the arenas of empathy we are to offer others.  I have a friend who plays a trumpet beautifully - she is able to offer words of empathy and encouragement to those struggling with mastering their own musical instruments.  Others have lost children, parents, spouses...  We all have our own life's experiences that we can use to empathize with others.

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

PS  "The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.  These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.  Beautiful people do not just happen." ~~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross 

Days of Recovery

March 4, 2013

What a lovely morning.  The birds were singing away as I walked through the garden.  I'm so excited about the Iris that are blooming so profusely.  I dug most of them up at the empty lot across the street so I have no idea what color they are until they bloom.  SURPRISE!

I've begun to realize that I have more years behind me than I have ahead of me.  I think it's made me more observant, cherishing every moment of every day!  Today was no exception.  I've been given orders not to lift more than ten pounds which means no lifting Sadie or Toby.  I was trying to show them how to get up on the bed without me lifting, pulling, or pushing ... I finally gave up and we all slept on the sofa!

2013 has been quite a year.  It seems like challenges have become the norm and I get up, put on the full armor of God and get on with my daily living.  Have you ever watched a trainer tame a horse or a stubborn dog?  In the end, (hopefully) the trainer is still standing and the animal is left winded and spent.  "I give up!"

As I have mentioned before, I am a very persistent, stubborn lady.  When I ask for help you know that I really need it.  I have found that 2013 started out with a vengeance that knocked the wind out of me.  Mom's hospitalization; my fall; mom's passing, funeral, and settling her estate; Michael's hospitalization; and now, my cervical fusion.  I reached a point where I just flat out had no energy to take care of anyone but me and even that was a stretch.  I had so many emotions whirling around inside me that they would often times arise within minutes of each other.  One minute I felt like laughing and the next had tears running down my face.  You know the good thing about all this?  I had no energy to live someone else's life ... the control freak in me flat out gave up.  My trainer had done his work.  It was an odd feeling but in a good odd sort of way.

When I was released from the hospital last Friday, my son picked me up and took me to his home (Michael had another bout with his ulcer).  He, Angie, and my grandsons fussed over me, fed me, and "sat me down" for one of those family talks.  Again, It all felt so strange ... It felt nice and I knew I was loved.  Yet, I battled another one of those triggers of "you don't deserve this."  Now, I know that's not true but I was fully aware of the uncomfortableness of being cared for and being helpless.  As I lay in my bed, I had plenty of time to think through the past years and why I didn't want to be a burden to anyone.  I guess this is one of those times for me to embrace more feelings and move on in a better direction.  My first thing was to say, "Thank you."  The second thing was to move through the uncomfortable feeling to a place of serenity and peace.

It isn't wrong to take care of ourselves and live the life we were meant to live ... our own!!  Our ultimate trainer wants us to be kind, loving, and persistent.  He doesn't want us to live someone else's life or get so enmeshed with them that we become co-dependent.  Kelly Clarkson sings this great song ... whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger!  It certainly does. That being said, I think I'd gotten to the point of not feeling ~~ just going the through the motions of numbness.

There is something about giving up the fight of the self and yielding to the strength of the master.  Do you think that comes with wisdom and age?  Maybe.  There is something strong in weakness ~~ a time to move on from the "way I handled 'it' before."

I am so grateful for my children and the love they so graciously pour on me.  I am so grateful for friends who reach out and grab my hand when I'm about to fall off a cliff.  I am so very grateful for a Lord who has patiently wrestled me to the ground, one challenge at a time until I was completely His.  I have this deep peace and serenity.  I'm not sure I can adequately explain the depth of this completeness.

Tell you what ... close your eyes and imagine yourself falling out of control.  At the moment you think that you are going to crash, you land on this beautiful soft blanket.  Imagine the feeling of complete surrender and utter stillness.  Good stuff!

My throat is very sore and drinking sodas is impossible.  I've been wanting to quit drinking so many Coke Zeros and this looks like a good time to do just that ~~ another blessing in disguise.  I talk less and smile more!!  I fretted a little bit about it, wondering if my raspy voice would be permanent then told myself ... "I'll cross that bridge when it comes."  There I go again with this quiet serenity knowing that it's gonna be okay!!  In the meantime, my neighbor comes over, smiles, and says, "Laugh for me."  My laugh is so funny ... sometimes, when I'm by myself I laugh just to hear myself laugh!!

My eyes are growing tired which means it's time for a nap.  Hubby brought me some Malt-O-Meal and milk this morning.  He handed it to me with a sheepish grin  ... "How'd it get so lumpy?"  I laughed and worked my way around the lumps.  With practice, he'll get better!  I took a walk through the gardens, and am finishing up my blog.  It's good to have a plan!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

PS  "Where there is no struggle, there is no strength." ~~ Oprah Winfrey