I Am Enough

Just As I Am

December 9, 2014
Wednesday

Dear God,

Brrr, it's downright chilly today. No heat in the cottage and casa except for a space heater in the cottage. Last night, my furry kids and I bundled up in blankets and were nice and toasty. They loved the extra cuddling and, I must admit, so did I! Tomorrow, things will be back to normal.

Last night I was so cold and I thought about the homeless and pets left outside to shiver trying to keep warm. At least I had blankets, flannel sheets, and a cushy bed. Thank you God for my shelter! I read recently that we don't truly know the plight of another unless we walk in their shoes. I believe that ~ it's why You allow us to go through trials in order that we might minister to others.

After Sunday's sermon, I have been thinking about how deep my relationship is with you. In fact, most Sundays, I come away thinking back into time, thinking the day through, and, most of all, how I can apply my new knowledge to the future.

I am enough that you, my God, sent your son to die for me. I am special ~ no freak accident of birth. Just as you are I AM, I, too, am.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. ~Psalm 139:13-14

As your child, I have stopped asking "why" or dwelling on what I did wrong in life. I no longer punish myself with unanswerable questions that lead nowhere. Life just is. Marriages aren't always made in heaven and children aren't born with instructions on how to parent perfectly. Life never quite turns out the way we hoped it would.

The one thing I do dwell on is how interconnected we have been throughout my life. I never remember a time when I wasn't looking for You and learning more about You ~ nor do I remember a time when You weren't there for me. I have story after story of miracles in my bag of life that could only be explained by your divine love and intervention.

My life has changed so drastically the past twelve years in a way I scarcely recognize. Where I thought I would be and where I am astounds me. I have come to that place where I accept that it is what it is. I can choose to live in the past or the wishful thinking of what might have been. OR, I can choose to create something new and meaningful for my present and future. I choose the later. It is not easy.

For people who have been abused, it is so difficult to understand your grace and love. For those who are rejected, it is so difficult to understand your acceptance. There is always that scab that gets rubbed off recreating offenses ... there are the reminders, the scars. I suffer (yes suffer) from episodes of PTSD; and, therefore, am very careful about submitting myself to possible triggers. I am not responsible for the acts and words of another ~ I am responsible for my own actions, words, and recovery and I take that seriously.

Pastor Dudley says that people go where they are invited and stay where they feel welcome. I'd never thought much about that but it's so true. If I am invited somewhere and it is not a pleasant experience, I rarely will venture out a second time. I guess people can say that's silly of me; I choose to think of it as loving myself enough to be safe and set healthy boundaries. It's also a reminder to me when someone knocks on my door or I invite someone over.

I was telling Michael that I wished he would have had the opportunity to meet my father's mother and family. My grandmother was a woman of deep faith and generous hospitality. Her daughters (Alida, Blanche, Eleanor, Lorna, Helen) followed in her footsteps. If you visited them, you were made to feel like the most special person in the world. My grandmother had nothing but she had everything. It was there, at her knee, that I learned so much about love and your holiness. She read her Norwegian Bible every day ... I wonder where it is and would love to just touch it in the way she did. I'm goofy about stuff like that.

The countdown to Christmas continues and, just for today, I am basking in the knowledge that soon I will celebrate the birth of your son, Jesus. I will fix a sumptuous Christmas Eve meal for Michael and I then we will head down the country roads to the Open Range Church to worship.

Father God in Heaven, my prayer list grows and I am grateful for the time I have to lift those precious people up in prayer. There are those who are so very ill and are in need of your healing touch. There are those who have lost loved ones and are entering this Christmas Season with heavy hearts. As my prayers float upward, I picture them being received and know they are heard. I am praising You that Robin is feeling better and that little Ellis is taking a bottle. I ask specifically that you be with Bev and Curt and Peggy. Bring peace and well-being. For families that are struggling financially this Christmas, I pray for "enough." For families struggling with rejection and aloneness, I pray for "enough." You, God, are enough and your promises ring clearly in the cold crisp air. Help me to help others in every way I can. I thank You for my Readers who I love dearly. I thank you for taking my blog across the globe and for those presented during prayer time for intercessory prayer. Times they are a changin' in our country and not for the better. The battle is here and we must not be afraid to speak out. My King, rise up men and women to lead the charge for if we are in You, we will not fail! Amen!

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO MY READERS:  What does "not good enough" mean? Those times when you were sure that laughter was directed at you? The times you thought you were loved but it turned out that you were deceived? The times from years past that fly through your mind as if to say, "Not waaaaannnnntttted?" Were you not pretty/handsome enough? Unaccepted? Unworthy? Stupid?

Let me tell you something, if you are a Christian all the above are lies from Satan himself. God's Word declares the opposite is true. You are desired and wooed by the most High God. You are made worthy by the shedding of the blood ... the blood of Jesus.

There is therefore now no condemnation

for those who are in Christ Jesus. ~Romans 8:1

You are enough ~ just as you are ~ to accept Jesus Christ as your Savior. Who else would die for you ~ for your sins past, present, and future? Come and take my hand and let's do this together, shall we? Some of you email me, text me, or contact me on Facebook and I covet our conversations. I don't have all the answers but, I promise you, I will listen and come alongside you.  Most of all remember, Jesus never disappoints!!