What if...

December 1, 2014
Monday

Dear God,

It just seems wrong not to have been in church yesterday. After a week and some days, I still have the head and chest congestion, cough, achiness, and fatigue. Hopefully, that too, shall pass ... sooner rather than later.

I have started several blogs but due to my head feeling like scrambled eggs, none made sense. Ok, let's scrap those ... time to start over! It's a new week, a new month!

There's something I do need to address.  Before Thanksgiving, I went over to Walmart to get a few things and headed for the express checkout. Checkout 2: A lady couldn't read the sign (20 items or less) and had a cart FULL of Thanksgiving groceries, cleaning supplies, and what I would guess were Christmas gifts. Yak, yak, yak, she was in no hurry. I headed over to Checkout 1. The man in front of me looked like he hadn't slept in days ~ his eyes were swollen and red. I wondered if he'd been on a ten day "toot." I was impatient and choose not to repeat some of the thoughts I was having about Walmart and these rude, unkept people keeping me from getting out of there.

Just as he put his few things on the counter, a passerby stopped and tapped him on the shoulder. "Just heard, I am so sorry."

"Yes, I lost my daughter and two granddaughters."

Oh Lord, I was so very ashamed of myself. This was the man we prayed for in church. His daughter was Holly Webb. I looked him in the eyes and told him that the Open Range Church family including me was praying for him and his family. He teared up and I hugged him saying a prayer over him. Here You were using convicted sinner ~ me ~ to comfort a man I had judged so harshly. As he left the checkout, his shoulders were slumped and he walked with a shuffle.

Oh my dear Jesus, walk with this man and hold his hand in the days and years ahead. Please forgive me for my impatience, judging ways, and cruel thoughts. My head bows in shame and repentance. To the world, I might have looked like a kind, Christian lady ... You and I know how flawed I am...

This incident has really impacted me. We are all guilty of impaired judgements and (gulp) mental meanness. I'm not making excuses for myself because I am owning this one hook, line, and sinker, just sayin'. Even though we may not speak our thoughts, they are there, festering. What is so sad, is that so often we just don't know the real story. I've been judged and convicted by many ... hung out to dry, criticized, and condemned. When I've been down and out, I've been stomped on until my spirit has nearly bled out. I know what it feels like to be in utter despair ... should I not be compassionate and give others the benefit of the doubt? In the name of Jesus, yes!

Last time I was in church, Pastor Rick said something like this ... WHAT IF you woke up today and all you had was what you were thankful for yesterday. 

I've been thinking about that a lot this morning especially in light of my conviction.

Life is what it is, isn't it? Life. We have our yesterdays, our heritage, our testimonies, our history. Then, we have today, this minute and no more, for as the minutes tick by, they become past and the future but an unknown darkness filled with hope. I can live life with gratitude or I can live live with grudgitude (a new Miss Dottie word!).

One of my very favorite Christmas movies is It's A Wonderful Life. Each time I watch it, I notice something different. Why? Because as the years pass, I am different. We live in a "me first" society yet when we accept Jesus Christ, we become second. We live lives of service making this world a better place. I was thinking about my life and how I have matured. We just celebrated Thanksgiving, a time of giving thanks and remembering what is truly important. I know what was on my mind to be thankful for.  I wonder what was on my Readers' minds...

Last time I was in your house, there was a young man who gave his first sermon ~ yes, I said a "young" man. Not long ago, he made a decision to become a preacher and his path became set before him. As he spoke, his words resonated from his heart and I found myself immersed in his message.

Weston spoke on Proverbs 16:9 NIV ~ "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."  We set goals then plan to achieve them. Yet, in the end, God's will WILL be done. EVERYTHING is Father-filtered!!  In my case, my thoughts stayed in my mind, I was convicted, and, in the end, your goodness shone forth.

When I address my blog to You and we have our pow wow, I am blessed. You enlighten, teach, and convict. Each day, no matter what, I want to remain humble, teachable, and ready to report for duty as called.  You, my Creator, gave me a heart so I follow my affections. You, my Maker, gave me a mind so I think of how to achieve my goals. 2015 is just around the corner and I am already thinking about changes to my blog form and where your light will lead me.

Don't you just love that song, Count Your Blessings, sung by Bing Crosby? Each night before I go to sleep, I count my blessings and ask blessings and love to be heaped upon my Readers. Father God, these people are so important to me and I care deeply about what happens to them. I want them to know You and to love You ~ when that happens grudgitude become gratitude and that's what it's all about!! Amen, it is so!!

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS: I learned how quickly, life can be snuffed out when Zeke was hit by a car and died instantly. Thanksgiving Day, I learned that my cousin, David suddenly passed away without warning. If that happened to me, would anyone miss me? What would my legacy have been? As I move through this day, I am mindful to do something for another human being that would make their world a little better. My goals this year have been to REFRESH the areas of my life that needed spit shining. I must say, it's been quite a journey. I pray you will get on board with me in the new year ahead.