A Garden on the Ranch

March 29 2016

Tuesday

Dear Readers,

Well howdy Readers. It's Miss Dottie reporting from the Misfit Ranch on creating a ranch house garden. It's looking like rain so let's sit on the porch of the bunkhouse and sip on some iced cold sweet tea and chat awhile. Susie's got some great rocking chairs and the aroma of Spring flowers is ever present. Just breathe in deeply, exhale, and relax.

My gardens have always been in the front or backyard of my house in the city. My (evolved) favorite is the french vintage garden filled with roosters, floral fabrics, red/yellow/purple hues, back/white accents, peeling/painted ironwork, distressed woods, and rustic accents. I love the wabi sabi style of imperfect perfectness. For some strange reason, I like feeling like I am in a beautiful cocoon of color. The more plants the merrier!!

It's my friend Susie's birthday this week. We decided to celebrate with lunch at a local Mexican restaurant then headed back to her ranch. We were piddling around and got the bright idea to redo the flower bed in the front of the main house. My mind went immediately into my french vintage mode but soon realized I had a lot to learn about gardening on a Texas ranch.

Miss Susie was gracious enough to give me some clues as to what would work ... the Summer sun is blistering hot, plants needed to be water wise, AND the ground needed to be very visible.

Ranchers need to be able to "see" all around themselves. In the country, snakes LOVE thick vegetation. Mr King's ranch next door has lots of rattlesnakes and Susie has taken care of some nasty rattlers and copperheads. It's not scary, just a fact of life.

The focus needed to be on less roses and more cactuses and garden artifacts.

We headed out on a fun scavenger hunt scouring the ranch for unique "items" that would make Susie's garden special.

As a gardener, I was in awe of Susie's greenhouse where she keeps plants for the winter months. (I want one of those!!) We filled the back of the mule and were so excited to see what we could put together with our treasures. 

Our first step was to clear the bed giving us a clean slate. We dug up a young tree and replanted it. (The tree can be espaliered and will offer shade when it gets a little taller.) After that, we focused on the whiskey barrel cleaning it out and replanting the cactus (note to self: wear thick gloves next time), adding trailing plants, and different garden pieces ... a frog, horse shoes, a potted Zinnia, interesting stones, pottery.

We had found a plant stand, weather vane, a wheel, some chickens, AND Susie's aunt had brought her some day lilies and a ??? plant. We replanted the elephant ears, lillies, the ??? plant, and filled the plant stand with different cactuses.

Mr Frog leaping out of the whiskey barrel

Cactus, purple vines, &
horseshoes for good luck!

A finished garden!

One little corner all dressed up!

The bed may need more dirt then a thin layer of mulch to keep the soil moist but that can be added in the next week. For now, it's basically done. Time to watch those plants grow.

You know, sometimes we rush to judgement based on what we are used to, what we think we know, and presume that all people and areas should do things the same way. The good Lord made various parts of the country and cultures different for a reason. What I knew most of my life has been altered once I got a taste of walking in someone else's shoes (or, in this case, boots). It's made me more tolerant, less judgmental, and certainly a more well-rounded person.

The shepherd protects the flocks; the rancher protects his herds; and, the farmer protects his crops and livestock. This city girl? She protects her gardens and furry kids! ALL OF US have a job to do!!

Miss Dottie

PS  Have you ever noticed that after creating the Garden of Eden, God gave Adam his very first job (a job which I greatly envy). "The Lord God took man, and put him in the Garden of Eden to dress it and keep it." (Genesis 2:15) What a wonderful vocation ~ to tend to all the beauty and glory that God specifically fashioned for him, all the days of his life.

Y'all enjoy your evening and remember ~

YOU are prayed for each and every day.

Until my next adventure, I am signing off.

Rambling thoughts on a Happy Day!

Oh Happy Day from Sister Act II

March 23, 2016
Wednesday

Dear Readers,

Oh Happy Day! I was so tired last night that I literally dropped into bed and was out. I'd had a week of migraine/cluster headaches and enough was enough. I couldn't believe it when the good Lord woke me up at 5am singing this song. I still have a bit of the residual headache but nothing compared to yesterday. I'm not tired, I am joyous, I am happy.

I just had to get on UTube and find the song Happy Day. I chose this rendition from Sister Act to share with you because it reminded me of how I get up sometimes a little draggy (before I have that first cup of coffee and clear my throat). I was waving my toothbrush and doing a little dance to the music. Four of the Sensational Six were in the bathroom with me looking at me like I was possessed. Zoe started doing her "turn around" dance and we all had a grand time. (Well, all but Kennedy, he was behind the toilet peeking around at me ~ he's a serious old soul!) 

My Daily Walk Bible has been my friend for over 30 years now. It was getting pretty dilapidated and my leather craftsman friend, Pastor Rick, recovered it for me. Good to go now for another 30+ years!!

I began 2016 reading in Genesis. When I got to I Kings, I was feeling pretty ... oh, I don't know ... down? Don't get me wrong, I love the Old Testament with all the familiar Bible stories but I needed more. I needed that boost of hope. I needed the good news of the New Testament. Kinda like having a cappuccino made by a barista with a beautiful steamed milk heart on top. Ahhh, yes ~ can't you just imagine that beautiful aroma of promise?

It's Holy Week and today I read 2 Kings 13-17 and Matthew 26-28. Those chapters in Matthew tell of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection. I would say I timed my reading perfectly. (Smile)

Here was Jesus, man/God ~ a perfect man unblemished by sin, put to death on a cross just because the religious leaders wanted him dead. He was spit on, deserted by his disciples, and yet, he remained faithful to his purpose. It's hard to really get a grip on all that transpired in those few days. I cannot imagine a man willing to hang on a cross for sinners but He did.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

~John 3:16

We're all familiar with that verse but read it through again s-l-o-w-l-y concentrating on every word. God gave his one and only Son. Put yourself in His place and think about what just happened in Brussels. Would you give up your only child to be crucified for those terrorists? Okay, you say that's wayyy out there. How about the woman in prison who sold drugs? The man who committed adultery? How about if you are like me, the woman at the well? Now, that gets some tongues wagging!! I hope you are getting my drift. God loved us that much. Pretty awesome don't you think?

Solomon, most known for his wisdom summed life up in the Book of Ecclesiastes. We, like Solomon, are stuck on this very limited time line, and are unable to change even one moment prior to the present, nor can we know, with certainty, even one moment yet to come.

We're just passing through this world one day at a time and we get one shot in making a difference before we die. I don't know about you but I want to leave a legacy of truth, kindness, and hope based on my love of the one who died on that cross.

By the time my grandchildren's children's children are born, I will have been forgotten. Just that thought keeps me humble. Maybe someone will save my blog books. Who knows! 

My time and your time is NOW. It is TODAY. If you're not a believer, it's time to pick yourself up out of your do be do do down ways and decide who you want to follow. Make a difference in someones life. Speak encouragement into the downtrodden, cook a meal and deliver it, make a phone call, take out your checkbook and feed someone who is hungry. Most of all, join me in singing O Happy Day and dance your way into these brand new wonderful minutes of time!!

"...As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

~Joshua 24:15

Miss Dottie

PS  I have a crown of thorns hanging in the hallway above a portrait of Jesus. I was looking at it a couple days ago and decided to take it off the wall and put it on my head. I didn't get very far before it REALLY HURT. Let's not take this Holy Week lightly ... wear some ashes on your forehead Wednesday remembering that the end was only the beginning!!  

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

OH HAPPY DAY

Hope for the heart

March 22, 2016
Tuesday

Dear Readers,

This morning, I woke up to a sick husband, 6 wild furry kids wanting to go outside and be fed, and the news of the terrorist attack in Brussels. I took a deep breath and walked outside to breathe in some fresh air and marveled at the unfolding of Spring going on in my gardens. Funny how something so simple can reset the start button on my day.

Even with the restart, I felt a tear roll down my cheek and cried out to God to have mercy on our souls.

"What causes fights and quarrels amount you?

Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?

You desire but do not have, so you kill.

You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight."

James 4:1-2 

Doesn't that sound familiar? We live in a dog eat dog world. Our presidential candidates are besieged with angry protesters ~ terrorists maim, kill, attack ~ families are divided by strife. We are taught that if someone believes differently we have the right to belittle and defame without cause. Think deeply about the Bible verse above today. Isn't it true?

Late last night, I was listening to June Hunt's program Hope for the Heart on KCBI radio. There was a young wife and mother of 4 (oldest 6, youngest 7 months) who phoned in. Her husband was emotionally abusive, messing with other women, and to top all that off, was addicted to alcohol, gambling, and pornography. No wonder her heart was hurting. Maybe she just needed to vent, maybe she really needed some help in getting on the right path, and maybe she, too, had hit bottom in her relationship.

At first, I was half listening then, I shut off the lights and really focused. Emily's voice sounded worn out and old. She wanted so badly for her husband to turn to Christ and become the man he could be. The bad part was that her husband had multiple addictions and he wasn't having any part of any recovery program.

The good news was that there was hope for Emily's heart!!

When, I counseled battered women, the toughest ones to get through to were those that deeply loved the Lord ~ those who wanted to be good wives and mothers. I was on the speaker's forum for the shelter in Collin County and encountered many a woman who flat out didn't know which way to turn. What is that saying, "The devil you know is better than the devil you don't." I certainly could relate because for most of my life, I lived in that mode. I had hope for myself and hope for others. 

There is something that happens in the brain of someone who has been stripped of human dignity including Stockholm Syndrome. This syndrome, or capture-bonding, is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings toward their abusers, sometimes to the point of defending and identifying with them. So often you see this in children and teens who have been abused ~ they cling to the very source of their pain.

In my thirties, I left an abusive relationship only to find myself in one that was much worse. I called up a counselor and when I saw her, I told her I wanted to have every psychological test available to find out why I chose so badly. Interestingly enough, I passed all the tests and was told that marriage was a crap shoot and I got dealt a couple bad hands. It was enough though to scare the crap out of me and for the next 7-8 years I remained single focusing on my work, raising my kids, and being a better person.

Looking back, I had PTSD issues ~ when situations would arise that I couldn't handle, I became angry, would strike out, and then I would sob like a small child. I kept returning to counselors begging for help. They kept telling me I was just in some stressful situations. I read books about anger and had this hunger for wellness. I was alone in Texas without family and felt overwhelmed much of the time.

It wasn't until after I married my husband in 2003 that a counselor identified the tapes that had run rampant in my subconscious and I began intense childhood trauma therapy. It was hard, it was painful, it took everything I had to protect that little girl inside of me. What is my point? What was wrong wasn't about who I married, it was about me. Even though I was high functioning, I lived my life in shame thinking everything that happened was my fault.

The good news is that if "it" was my fault, I could fix myself.

My faith saved me. My belief that Jesus loved me carried me through day after day. One night after a PTSD event, I ended up in a psych ward. All of a sudden, I looked around me then at Michael and said, "Take me home. I don't belong here." God says in Romans 8:28: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to his purpose." I heard a small voice telling me that I didn't have to be ashamed nor did I have to be a scapegoat for everyone's problems. I had been controlled by the fear of abandonment; and, that night, I let go of the rope that was strangling me. I chose life.

Sounds simple, right? No, it really wasn't. My road to happiness and wellness has been filled with ruts, bumps, as well as times of smooth sailing. The PTSD will never go away; however, I know how to manage it and stay away from triggers. With God, all things are possible!! How do I know? Because in Philippians 4:13, it says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" and God doesn't lie.

Today, I will kneel and pray. Today, I will choose to see the best in the world around me. Today, I will sing for joy at the work of His Hands. Today, I will go about my business and hand out words of encouragement and smiles of love. All because, He loved me ... He loved me enough to stretch out his arms and die for me.

Miss Dottie

PS Do you know what the shortest verse in the Bible is?

"Jesus wept." ~ John 11:35.

It's the shortest verse in the Bible yet one that holds great power. It allows us to see into the heart of Jesus whose heart beats for us ~ through this verse we witness the compassion of a Savior who understands grief and deep sorrow.

There are some who walk in our world today and falsely believe they hold great power because they spew out cruel words, attack, abuse, and follow the evilest whispers of Satan himself. Their main aim is to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). What they don't know is that they can never really win. Why? Read the last chapter of the Bible ... the good guy wins!

This is Holy Week ~ a time to remember that Jesus (God/Man) came to earth to die for our sins. Through his death on the cross, we have (should be choose to accept) eternal life. I don't know about you, but I am so grateful and I will never stop singing His praise!!

Always remember YOU are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Hey lady you're in my seat!

March 20, 2016

Sunday

Dear Readers,

Whoa! I woke up this morning to a fire in the fireplace. Guess we're having those last days of chilly mornings in early Spring. It seems strange to need a heavy sweater and see roses beginning to bloom at the same time. Love this time of year.. 

Night is drawing neigh ~ come and sit with me and let's chat. The music is soft and soothing and the loudest sounds are those of Zoe and Kennedy snoring. I enjoy winding down and reflecting on the events of the day and sharing them with you is extra special.

I managed to set off a chain of migraines that started last Friday night. I'd weeded then sprayed Roundup the entire day and that must have been the trigger. I opened one eye then the other this morning wondering whether to get up OR pull the blankets over my head and hide from the world. I chose to get up, get dressed, and mosey down the country roads to church. I chose to SHOW UP and I'm so glad I did!!

Like it or not, we all have favorite places we like to sit at church. I am very much a creature of habit and would prefer to brand my name at the back of my seat. Instead, I get there early and put my bulletin down to make sure my seat is saved.

This morning was no different. I walked into the sanctuary and lo and behold someone was sitting in MY chair. My first thought was whoopee do, that's MY place. Johnny (who sits beside us) looked at me and said, "I can move down a couple seats." Bless his heart, that worked. To be totally honest, I was still kind of ticked off.

The young lady looked at me and said, "I'm so sorry. Am I in your seat?" She looked like she was going to cry and I scooted in beside her and assured her that she was fine. I tossed my purse on the chair next to her and went about my business roaming around and chatting with friends I hadn't seen in awhile.

When I got back to my seat, Michael informed me that Mary (not her real name) was new and needed a friend. I felt really bad. Here I was, fussing (inwardly) about having to move one seat down from my usual perch and there she was needing affirmation that she was even in the right place.

Mary began to tell me her story and my heart went out to her. She had been there once before but was hoping that someone would pray with her if she sat close to the front. I looked into her eyes and saw before me a frightened young lady who needed a church family to rally around her. I began introducing her to those stopping by and held her tightly as I prayed for her strength and peace of mind. She was cold, she was hungry, she was searching. Me? I knew what God wanted me to do.

"But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?"

I John 3:17

You know, we go to church wanting to sit in our own seats and we seek out those we haven't seen in a while to catch up. We forget that we too were once new and every face was that of a stranger. We are comfortable and settled in our church routines.

From day one, I knew the Open Range Church was my church home. I felt almost dizzy with excitement when one person after another introduced themselves. I loved the "Shake sumbodies hand" part of the service and I decided that I would revel in new beginnings.

It's rather strange because although I was accepted for me, I began to change in ways that I still don't quite understand. I wanted to put Christ first in my life. Ever heard that phrase, "I am second?" Well, I wanted to be second. I wanted to be a slave to the Lord Jesus Christ. As the empty holes in my heart were filled with music, fellowship, worship, and messages, I wanted to give of that same love that had been poured into me.

Tonight, as I reflect back over the morning, it is my hope and prayer that Mary will choose to come back and sit in my chair. It is my hope and prayer that I will be able to mentor her and come alongside her as she walks down this dark path set before her. It is my hope and prayer that she will come to know the Open Range as her church home. She told me she would attend Bible Study Friday night ~ that will be just awesome! 

What if I had chased Mary off? What if I didn't listen to her story? What if I had felt too self-conscious to pray with her? One more time I was reminded of my purpose in John 21.

Something the pastor said a couple weeks ago popped up in my brain. People don't care what we have to say if they are hungry, lonely, and in the depths of despair. We need to take care of those needs first. The Lord God has prepared me through my work as a Stephens Minister ... He has prepared me through my work as an Intercessor ... He has prepared me through my work with battered women ... He has prepared me through my work as a relationship coach. He's given me the tools I need to do His work on earth and fulfill my purpose.

The Humble Gardener in me says, "Bloom where you are planted." Sounds good to me!!

Please join me as I walk on the path of life. I hold out my hand and offer you my heart... We can do this together.

Miss Dottie

PS I have heard people respond to requests for help by saying, "I am so sorry. I will pray for you." It's easier to say that than to actually take action. 

Matthew 25:35-40 (NIV) says, "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. Then the righteous will answer him, Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you? The King will reply, Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... Ya You!!!

Leila

March 15, 2016 Note to Readers: I was working on this blog when my computer flat out died. It's time to publish AND start working on some others. My life has been full of adventures!
Miss Dottie

February 6, 2016
Saturday

Dear Readers,

February is the month of love and I have been thinking about the women who have made a difference in what has made me, me.

What do you think of when I say mother-in-law? I know that all too often we aren't looked upon too kindly. I have never had a nasty mother-in-law ~ my mothers-in-law have been wonderful ladies and I admired them for who they were ~ imperfectly perfect women.

Let me introduce Leila Eleanora:

I met my first husband when I went off to college ~ he was a Senior about to graduate and I was a Freshman. After dating a few months, I was introduced to his mother over dinner.

It was cold that winter evening just after Christmas 1964 in Fargo, ND. Not only was I shivering from the icy wind, my knees were knocking at the prospect of meeting this woman who held my boyfriend's heart. All of a sudden, there she was. Leila had on a hat, a beautiful brown leather coat, and her hands were warmed by leather gloves.  She was a bit plump yet very stylish and put together. We were introduced and she gave me this big beautiful smile and there began our relationship that would last until her passing.

Leila took off her coat and her wool dress was stunning. She seemed so at ease in this fancy restaurant. I ordered spaghetti and the waiter brought me this plate of twirly stuff, covered with a spicy sauce, a few meatballs, and flaky cheese. The noodles kept falling off my fork and I hated cheese. My mom fixed spaghetti using macaroni so how in the world would I eat this without dribbling all over myself? I ate the meatballs and left the rest on my plate.

Leila & her mother, Annie 

As I got to know Leila, she amazed me with all she knew about being a farmer's wife, cooking, baking, making a house a cozy home, and other stuff like enjoying fine china, antiques, and sterling silver. She loved shopping, planting a flower garden, had a beautiful singing voice, and could put her make-up on like an artist. She was smart, filled with joy, loved the Lord, and, most of all, she loved her family. In my whole life, I'd never seen someone who celebrated every holiday with such gaiety and extravagance. My father-in-law would say, "Judas Priest, you are going to put us in the poor house." Leila would laugh and go on about her business.

Spending time with her was an adventure. She bought me my first beautiful robe, nightgown, slippers, and perfume (I still wear Youth Dew by Estee Lauder to this day). I am sure I absolutely drove her nuts because I was skinny, a very picky eater, and didn't know a whole lot about the so called finer things in life. There were times she shook her head at me and other times when she hugged me so tightly I thought I would be squashed.

Leila could be strong-willed and opinionated and wasn't shy about addressing some of my (ahem) lesser qualities. I didn't like that; but, then again, I knew her heart and decided to learn all I could from her. Life in her home was always lively, family oriented, and, I fell in love with all of them.

In 1970, my husband, 2 daughters (2 & 10 mos) and I moved to Houston, TX. Soon afterwards, my doctor found a lump in my neck. After some tests, he told me I would need surgery and to get my affairs in order because it looked like cancer. Cancer at 23? I was scared to death. Who came to care for me? Leila did. I was angry that my own mother didn't come to care for me and I'm ashamed that I wasn't very nice to Leila. I weighed 80 pounds, was depressed, and, although I did not have cancer, my neck had been cut from one side to the other, thyroid removed, a vocal chord (accidently) paralyzed, and just holding up my head was difficult. That year of recovery was a tough one...

It wasn't too many years later that I would sit in a hospital room with Leila as she lay dying from cancer. I would hold her hand. I would talk to her about my little girls and prayed she would somehow recover from the sores that were lining her mouth and down into her stomach. She looked so frail yet peaceful...unable to talk. Oh how I loved her... She kept a diary those first weeks after she was diagnosed with cancer. What a treasure for her family.

Before her diagnosis and after her husband's death, Leila had begun renovations on her older home ~ adding a bathroom on the second floor. She had looked forward to growing old and spending time with her children and grandchildren. It was sad that she never got to enjoy the fruits of her labors.

When Leila passed away (Just 7 months after her husband) there were funeral arrangements to be made and a lifetime of gathering possessions to be taken care of. Her home needed to be dismantled and farm equipment inventories for a sale. It was strange going through all her personal items and separating them into piles. (Since then, I've thought often about what others will think going through my own home when I am gone.) Maybe that is why I have downsized and decluttered...

I wandered about the house thinking about all the beautiful times I had there. I hoped that my girls would remember the times their grandmother Leila lifted them into the willow tree singing ... "Janie and Jillo swinging in the willow." Her voice was hauntingly beautiful and they would giggle and pretend they were going to fall out of the tree. Oh how Leila loved her grandchildren ~ Jessica, Jill, Jane, Andrew.

Leila was not a saint and and I don't mean to picture her as one. She had her own demons that she struggled with. I used to giggle: She attended weight loss meetings with her friends each week, and after weighing, they would share new recipes and have dessert and coffee! Her husband was much older and as she watched him become more paranoid and reclusive, her own anger surfaced. Their last years together were a struggle for both of them.

I wish I could turn back the clock and tell her how very much she meant to me and how much she taught me about God, about living, and, most of all, about loving. Who knew she would die so very young (50's) and so tragically to a cancer that took her life in a matter of weeks.

As I sit here today, I celebrate her influence on my life. I went in to my silver chest and got out one of the long sterling silver sipper spoons (like a straw with a spoon at the end) she gave me to enjoy while I sipped on an ice cream float.  At the time, I didn't know the value of sterling silver and kept them in my kitchen utensil drawer. On a visit, she was not shy about letting me know where and how they should be kept. Well, Leila, I began to take good care of them and now 40+ years later they still look like brand new ~ too bad I can't take them to heaven with me so you and I can enjoy some ice cream floats!

Leila ... daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, friend ~ member of the Presbyterian church and Eastern Star, soloist ~ cook, baker extraordinaire ~ a woman who could make an old drafty house a warm home for her family and friends ~ a gardener, furniture restorer, craftswoman ~ a spunky woman of grace and dignity ~ my mother in law.

Miss Dottie

PS The first Sunday I attended the Open Range Cowboy Church, I met a wonderful mother-in-law/daughter-in-law team ~ Miss Vivian and Susie. Susie cared first for her father-in-law then her mother-in-law, making sure their golden years were filled with compassion, love, and well-being as their health deteriorated. Oh how I miss Miss Vivian yet, I am grateful for the friendship that has blossomed between Susie and I. 

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!