One Week Down

June 26, 2016
Sunday 

Dear Readers,

It's an absolutely gorgeous Summer day in N Central Texas albeit a bit hot! I was outside at 6am this morning working in my gardens. I can tell what I've been doing outside for the past 3 months ... not much of anything. The storms we had a few weeks ago washed away some of my mulch so that's on my agenda to redo this next week. I'm so glad that most of my plants are well rooted and need less water. Hate hauling that blasted hose!

My self-improvement project is going along pretty well. I weighed at the doctor's office and it wasn't pretty. (Gulp) Today, I am down 8 pounds. (Patting myself on my back!) My clothes were feeling like I had been stuffed into them and now they are still tighter than I'd like but I am going in the right direction. I'm going to start weighing in on Mondays. To tell the truth, I hate scales but until I have something better to judge my progress, the scale will be a necessary evil.

My biggest hurdle has eliminating Coke Zero and ice cream. My neighbor and I were out yesterday and I needed to take a pain pill (I tripped over the cord to the fan and went skating across the cottage floor - kersplat ~ ouch!) and took a sip of her Coke Zero. Want to know something? It tasted funny. How about that!!

Ice cream may be another story. When Blue Bell came back I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. I LOVE ice cream with chocolate sauce and peanuts!!!

Eating out has been easy. Went to the Lone Star Cafe and had a Bubba Burger with all the trimmings and grilled veggies. Another time I had grilled pepper catfish, grilled veggies, and a bit of rice. Ordered the smaller portion and had plenty to eat. On The Border had a section where I could pick a couple items and a side (grilled veggies, guacamole tostada, and grilled chicken/salsa in a corn tortilla).  Eating at home has been a breeze. I make sure I have plenty of fruits (the ones low in sugar), veggies, cheese, Ezekiel Bread, yogurt, eggs, butter, beans, and meat on hand. I'm certainly not deprived in any way, shape, or fashion. I keep Truvia, apples, and protein bars in my purse. Just takes a little more planning. Since I eat every couple hours, I am always stuffed.

Breakfast on the patio!

I don't know if you've tried infusing water with using cucumber, lemon, lime, watermelon, and strawberries but I've found it to be really refreshing. I try something different every day. Tried Perrier with Lime and that was good too. I've NEVER been a water drinker so I thought this might be my biggest challenge but it really hasn't been. Thank you Jesus!

Patience is NOT my best virtue and, to be honest, I would like to be one of those people on TV who say they became a new person in just a few weeks. (Sigh) From my days as a Jenny Craig Director, I know that's not going to happen. I am having to go back to the 12 Step program and realize that some foods are my downfall. For now, I have to look at cakes, pies, and other high sugar desserts like they are poison which is the truth.

Dear God in Heaven: It's almost time to get in Graycie and head down the country roads to the Open Range Church. I get so excited just thinking about what's happening today ~ 20 kids accepted the Lord at camp so we're having lots of baptisms. Parents are also dedicating their children to the Lord which is always sweet. William has promised that the Open Range Band is going to be bringing us to church this morning and I know the messages will touch my heart and help me to be a better person. Lord, I ask you to move in the spirits of all pastors preaching today. I pray for hearts to be softened, and eyes turned towards You. Heal those that are sick in body, mind, and spirit ~ bring unity to our land ~ keep our children safe ~ protect our land from those who would bring it down. For those who have and are losing loved ones, grant them an extra measure of strength as they grieve. Thank you for Your Son whose blood was shed that those who love Him may have eternal life. In His name I pray...

Miss Dottie

PS I am publishing this Sunday afternoon so I added a photo of Pastor Gerald praying over Levi and his parents. Awwww!!!

PSS You gotta keep on keepin on ~ Life's a wonderful adventure!!

The Journey Begins

June 20, 2016
Monday

Dear Readers,

I am undertaking a difficult journey. A journey that I want to share with you just in case you're dealing with the same stuff that I am. I want to inspire and encourage you to come along with me and we can do this together. This is serious to me because this is something I am not excited to do. I've had good intentions in the past but you know the old saying, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

This past Saturday, I had one of those moments where I realized how far I had slipped in keeping my body fit. When Melissa shared her testimony of health and wellness with me and determined my body type, I half-heartedly listened. When I was in church on Sunday, I was convicted and, today, I am determined.

Let's go back over the past 4 years. I've moved from the area of Dallas that I had lived since 1972; I've had countless major surgeries that required long times of recovery; I felt lost and doubted God's leading; and, I ate my way to unhealthiness. I have felt defeated, angry with myself, and lacked any will to do anything different. I had my last back surgery in March of 2015 and it took it's toll. At that time, Dr Carmody gave me books on back and neck health and I paged through them. Books don't mean anything unless you follow directions. End of story.

In less than a year, I have developed further crumbling on my spine and stenosis which has made my life a living hell. Well, I did a couple of things: I gained 30 pounds AND I continued carrying bags of dirt and mulch to my garden. Try carrying a twenty pound bag of dog food around with you every minute of the day then add the weight of dirt and mulch. See what I am saying? It took me not being able to walk or stand to really grasp what I had done to myself.

I carry most of my weight around my waist. Oh, I can hide it well with choosing my shirts appropriately but I do have to shed those clothes at least once a day and look in the mirror. Good grief! There looking back at me is an M&M with stick legs! I was eating food like an alcoholic drinks ~ to make pain go away and fill the void, the hole in my heart.

You know the beautiful thing about my God? He accepts me no matter what; on the other hand, He shows me by way of messengers how I need to change. When the Holy Spirit convicts me of something, I know what I need to do. This is not saying I am always obedient. Sometimes, it takes something drastic.

Okay, all this being said, where did I begin? It started with Maddie making lunch for Melissa and I on Saturday as well as dinner in the evening. It was delicious and I got even more curious. Last Sunday morning I got up thinking, "tomorrow I will begin my quest." Then, I recognized the old pattern of ... I will have one last day of eating myself into oblivion then, I will ____________.  Ever tell yourself that?

I ate a slice of Ezekiel Bread with homemade jam on it before church. Our normal routine after church is to stop at McDonald's and munch on sandwiches on our way home. I told Michael I wasn't going to do that substituting a bar to hold me until I got home. Easy? HELL NO!!!

I made a casserole for Michael since that's what he wanted. I chose a salad and fruit. I was stuffed but boy I craved ice cream with chocolate, bananas, and peanuts. It was tough and Satan was hitting me right and left. I froze remembering how I had abused my body. I chose health.

Although I had two previous days of healthy eating, my real journey began today. Since I am not counting calories, I am writing down every morsel I put in my mouth. My problem is the spare tire around my waist so I am cutting wayyyy back on sugars and learning how to balance what I eat. I'm also putting my food on a luncheon plate to trick my brain into thinking I have a full dinner plate piled high with tasty morsels. Believe me, it works. The roughest part is giving up my Zero Coke. I drank many a day and love the fizzz!

My menu for today:

Breakfast:  1 egg, 1 slice toasted Ezekiel Bread/1 pat butter, Grapes/Watermelon.
Snack:  Giovanni Yogurt with Coconut
Lunch:  Cottage Cheese sprinkled with sunflower seeds, fresh peaches
Snack:  ThinkThin Protein Bar (Salted Caramel)
Dinner:  Salad (organic spinach, Romaine, tomatoes, cucumber, boiled egg & pine nuts, oil/vinegar/spices dressing)
Before bed Snack: Apple
All day: Drinking filtered water from the frig with lemon and cucumber slices in it
(I ate every 3 hours to make sure my tummy felt full)

I wish I had taken photos of my food other than with my phone but I didn't, tomorrow I will do that.

How do I feel? Full BUT the cravings of sugary and salty food is there. I won't kid you, this is really tough. I don't like the taste of the Ezekiel Bread ~ I am told my taste buds will change and I will grow to enjoy it. The jury is out. I will finish the entire loaf one slice at a time before I give up. I'm not big on meat; however, I think a nice steak, grilled fish, or grilled chicken would taste good every other day. I love beans ~ my cupboard has several cans for me to choose from. I am learning as I go. Melissa told me today that Jorge Cruise has a great book that would help enlighten me.

Many people say that to eat healthy costs a lot but I don't think so. I was eating crap and if I were honest, that cost a whole lot more because of the quantity I was eating. A bag of dry beans goes a l-o-n-g way!!

As I crawl into bed, I am reminded: One day at a time. If I liked eating this new way, I would have done it a long time ago. Since I don't, it's a mental and taste bud adjustment. For tonight, I'm kinda mad that I can't have my bowl of ice cream. My mind is playing games with me and Satan is certainly spewing forth his two cents. Just for today, I am okay and powering forward. That's all I can do knowing that God will give me strength for my day tomorrow.

Thanks for joining me, Readers. I hope we can lift each other up in prayer and offer encouragement as we make our way down this twisted path of learning and adjusting. All I know is that I will have an apple and bars in my purse at ALL times.

Miss Dottie

PS "You will never change your life until you change something you do daily." ~Mike Murdock

PSS I am not a fan of Mike Murdock, I just like some of his quotes.

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU, every single one of you!! I promise...

The Gift

June 20, 2016
Monday

Dear Readers,

It's a glorious day in North Central Texas. My back and right leg/groin have been so much better the past couple days. I'm singing praises because I could stand through a whole song at church yesterday. That's progress!

I received a gift that spanned from Friday to Sunday. My love languages are quality time and words of affirmation AND my God-given child, Melissa, and my God-given granddaughter, Maddie, came all the way from Georgia to fill my love bank. I'm not used to being pampered and served in my own home and it was hard to accept that they were here to simply be of help in my need.

To use Pastor Rick's story telling lead in: Long Ago and Far Away

Melissa was eighteen when I met her. I had asked around our mini church for a person who was good to cut and style hair and her name came up.  I made an appointment and it wasn't long before I was sitting in her chair. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Melissa was vibrant and excited about life. (Maybe a little too excited!). She was struggling with her own demons and needed a mom. It wasn't long until I became her Dottie Mom ~ I shared my faith, and she became a Christian. Melissa stumbled and fell while I just simply loved her. The door to my home and heart was always open. No subject was off limits for us and honesty was there from the beginning.

There were times I wondered if love was enough with Melissa. I started sprinkling my love with Bible verses and direction. She asked to be held accountable. Our bond grew stronger and stronger. She was hungry and wanted what I had. She filled an empty spot in my own heart and we served one another.

Melissa got married and went on to have 4 beautiful children. She is an accomplished chef and household engineer. She lovingly respects her husband as head of their home and takes joy in serving him. Oh, you're thinking .... she's one of those submissive wives ... yuk, barf. No, it's not like that. Melissa is the master scheduler of the family ~ she is the grease that keeps the wheels turning. With four active children (who she home schooled until this past year) that excel in soccer and all sorts of extracurricular activities, she is constantly on the go.

You might be wondering about her faith? Melissa loves the Lord more than anything in this world. She's a mighty prayer warrior and she's been given the gift of prophetic word and healing. The heads of her church have made room for her as a respected leader. Give her a microphone and she will have you in stitches laughing then bring you to your knees in prayer. She recently went on a trip to the Holy Land traveling back by herself. Let me just say that she went through some scary times. She has a mighty strength and leads by example.

I am witnessing faith being passed from generation to generation and that makes my heart sing. It's not a notch in my belt, it's that quiet hum of planting seeds and sharing with others what I needed growing up.  Some accept my outstretched hand and others don't which is perfectly okay with me ... I do it just because...

What does love look like?

Melissa and Maddie arrived like a whirlwind of fresh air. They informed me that they were there to serve and to do anything I needed doing. We planned a sort of schedule and jammed so much into a couple days. I hadn't had a professional haircut in nearly 10 years so she gave me a new "do." They bathed 6 dogs and loved on them like they were the only dogs on earth. Finn couldn't stand to be away from them following them everywhere. It really was cute. Now that they're gone, he sits on the guest room bed sniffing and whining.

The frosting on the cake came when we all attended church. Our churches are quite different and Melissa and Maddie aren't big on country music. They went because they knew how important it would be if we worshiped together. We share the love of Jesus, right? Right. They were welcomed with such love and excitement. These are city girls who got a taste of the cowboy culture big time! I felt like a proud peacock sitting with my chicks AND they began to feel the Holy Spirit alive in that room. I talked with her this morning and she said they felt such genuine love and acceptance. Even Maddie at 15 said she loved it.

William our Music Minister
Photo Bombing

Where am I going with this story? Well, the bottom line is that the Lord gave me a glimpse of the past, present, and even of the future. I am reminded that as I give to the world, it will give to me. I received the gift of encouragement and affirmation. Their energy and time was focused on serving with a grateful heart. We had praises, deep conversations, and really listened to one another. Melissa and Maddie prayed over my situation and back. We were joined as one spirit - they spoke my love language and I spoke theirs.

Today my love bank is full, my cupboards are full, my dogs don't stink, my body is healing, and my spirit is soaring. The gift I gave over 20 years ago was returned 10 fold. For you, my precious Readers, I share this with you because there comes a time when the Holy Father reveals how your love and kindness helped others. THAT, my friends, is the best gift ever.

Dear God, as I reflect over the past few days, I want to say thank you for the gift of Jesus who died that we might be redeemed. I thank you for my church that is so very loving and open to all who walk through the doors. I thank you for instilling in me a love for your people. I ask boldly for healing from mental, physical, and emotional trials; travel mercies for those away from home; the restoration of hearts to working order, bodies with cancer renewed; relationships mended; and, truth to always be at the forefront of our decisions. I thank you for the message Melissa brought to me and I ask that You give me strength to move forward. In Your Holy Name I pray...Amen

Miss Dottie

PS  "What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God." ~Eleanor Powell

The Game...

June 16, 2016
Thursday

Dear Readers,

What an absolutely beautiful day. I can see outside from my perch in the cottage and smile. I had an epidural injection in the L2-3 this morning and I got STRICT orders to rest for at least 12 hours. I'm too tired not to.

Believe me, this "whatever it is" has totally humbled me and my get up and go nature. This morning, I got mad, I got sad, I got scared, and I got some lessons learned. I really had to get an attitude adjustment because I was beginning to let fear get the best of me.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.

Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged,

for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

~ Joshua 1:9

The past couple years I've grown so much spiritually and emotionally. I give credit to Pastor Dudley and The Open Range Cowboy Church for teaching from the Bible and helping me in applying my new found knowledge to everyday life. The friends I have made are salt of the earth folks who accept everyone just as they are. I almost feel like I live in a time warp of long ago when neighbors gathered on Sunday to meet, greet, pray for one another, and hear a message. We really care about one another ~ not just with words but with actions.

This is an important year in America as we select our next president. As an Independent, I kept a notebook on the all the candidates ~ their good qualities and the not so good. I wrote down my own moral values and beliefs and compared my list to the various candidates. Character and being honest were at the top of my list. When Donald Trump became the Republican nominee for president I focused on him (he was not my first choice) and Hillary Clinton because she is the Democratic nominee. I was a woman on a mission.

Once I was comfortable with my choice of Donald Trump for president, I blocked all sites that were offensive to me. I wanted to fact check on my own without the bias of the media.

Politics is a game much like chess. It's a dog eat dog game of strategy. He or she with that final blow to the other wins. Checkmate!!

~Miss Dottie

As we have learned it really doesn't matter what people say in getting votes ... it's what they do after they win the game.

Tonight there is to be a Trump Rally in Dallas. I would have loved to go. I've never experienced a rally but know there's something special about being a part of a movement that I believe in. NO, I DIDN'T SAY I'D GO TO PROTEST the candidate I did not choose!!!

In the past few weeks, I have faced a very uncomfortable situation. Whenever I get backed into a corner, I ask myself, "What did Jesus do?"

As a Christian I know that to berate and bully others into believing what I believe just doesn't work. Christ touched so many lives but when faced with those who rejected him, He didn't get pissed off and spew out hatred. He simply walked away.

I have a friend, Jackie, who is a Democrat. I respect her so much and I understand where she is coming from. I think it is because we've had different experiences in life and walked different roads that our political views go in opposite directions. We both want what we think is best for our country. Our hearts are in the right place. Isn't this the way America is supposed to be? We are so blessed to have freedom of speech and the rights guaranteed to us as citizens. How can we become unified if we are always on the defensive?

On the flip side, someone that I care deeply about, told me that I'd been brainwashed and a part of those far right Republicans. I didn't know what a far right Republican was so I looked it up. After reading the definition of Far Left, Middle of the Road, and Far Right, I was totally confused and thought to myself, "I don't fit in any of these categories." What I do believe in has to do with being a Christian with deep convictions and loyalty to my God and country. I've learned that all of us have a voice and free choice as to what we believe. I can only share my own beliefs and moral code and allow others to do the same. I always listen for truth and pray to be teachable.

Today, I am resting, reading, and praying. I look about me and see total chaos needing attention. My usual self would get up and take care of what needs to be done, pain or no pain. Maybe I am getting smarter. I have some things that I want to do down the road so my concentration needs to be injecting positive thoughts and listening to my doctors.

Heavenly Father, I know in my heart that You are in control. I pray specifically today for the unification of my country in understanding and compassion. I stand in the gap with holy hands raised in honor of You who directs my path and my heart. There are so many on my wall in my prayer closet who need You and your healing. As I name them You know what each person is going through. I ask that you place a hedge of protection around America. We are at war not only with Radical Islam but with each other. Thank you for listening ...in Jesus name...

Miss Dottie

PS  "Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love." ~Fyodor Dostoyevsky