ER Faith in Action

February 12, 2015
Thursday

Dear God,

Good morning (cough)! Have had very little sleep in the past few days due to a goose honking cough that is driving me crazy (cough, cough!) Made a trip to the ER yesterday and got a couple of shots (ouch ... one in each butt cheek) and a passel of meds. Dr thought my cough was due to a severe sinus infection and an allergy to "something." Asked him about my aching shoulder and he said I needed to talk with my regular doctor about that. I have to remember that I am in small town Texas!

Anyway, grab a cup of cocoa/coffee and let's chat awhile. I must admit, my trip to the ER did produce some rather interesting observations and reminders...

You know me, I can usually carry on a conversation with a door knob. There was a young lady who was assisting the nurse in the ER.  We were introduced and asked if I minded if she sat in. Of course not!  She said her name was Michal. I told her that was an unusual name and asked if it was from the Bible. She replied, "Yes, it is, Michal was King David's first wife." After a short conversation she explained that it was her way of easily talking about her faith to others. The nurse (wayyy over 300 lbs ~ a HUGE guy ~ I'm going to call him Bill) also chimed in and before long we had a great dialog going about our faiths and the impact of King David ... a man after God's own heart.

Bill explained that it was the story of David that drew him closer to and accepting Christ. He figured if David could do all the things he did (murder, adultery...) and that God called him a man after his own heart, surely God could love him, a sinner. We were all nodding in agreement. We've all got our stories, don't we...

For some reason, You knew I needed to hear the words spoken at 7am Wednesday morning at Hill Regional Hospital. Michal had such a beautiful softness about her and I knew she would make a great nurse and caregiver. As for big burly Bill with the compassionate yet forceful heart? I knew God was using him too with each patient that walked through the doors of the ER. He had the likeness of Peter, a man of bold and courageous faith!

This event got me thinking about how  You impact our lives in ways that could only be orchestrated by your hand. You're all over the place aren't you? You are in my dreams and come forth in my waking moments. I am surrounded my your mercy, kindness, and compassion and am in awe.

"You have enclosed me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me."

~Psalm 139:5

Ever since I've been attending The Open Range Church, I have been attacked physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I wonder why that is? What is it that the evil one doesn't want me to do there? Or, to learn there? I have some pretty heavy hitting prayer warriors praying for me and one of my own prayer requests was that You surround me in ways that I would know that it was You. You, my Father, have been faithful in dropping reminders all around me. The crazy illnesses I've had are contageous and I sure don't want to give anyone else this flu, honking cough ... but, gosh, I sure need that infusion of joy, peace, and fellowship!

My Lord and Savior, I pray today specifically for others who are going through trials of illnesses and stresses beyond normal living. May we put on your armor going forth into the world to do battle with whatever is sent our way. The beauty of Spring is just around the corner giving me hope.  I see tender little buds appearing on my rose bushes and clap my hands in expectation of the fragrance that will be awakened from Winter's sleep. I pray for Michal and for people who are sharing their faith with others with such tenderness. February is the month of love and Lord, you are love! Your love is what binds us as Christians tightly together. Your grace is sufficient for this day and always! In Jesus name, it is so!! Amen.

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS: As sands through the hour glass so go the days of our lives (announcer Ed Prentiss from TV serial Days of Our Lives). Tick Tock, Tick Tock. As I have been resting the past couple days, this quote has been lingering. I have asked myself what I can be doing to further the kingdom just as I am and where I am. I am able to pray for others, I am able to write, I am able to read, and I am able to listen. That's really a lot I can do!

I have my eyes closed, my fingers are still typing. The sounds of my furry kids napping is comforting. There are cars whizzing by and the warmth of the sun is wooing me outdoors. The wheezing in my chest reminds me that whatever it is that is causing me to cough is still there. The world moves forward minute by minute and I must not be unaware of it's gift!! There is much to be done and I'd best get at it!!

Always remember how much you are loved and prayed for ... ya you (Norwegian) ... all of y'all (Texan). Have a blessed day!!

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts."

~Eleanor Roosevelt

Aren't you curious?

Dark Side

February 8, 2015
"Son"day 9:00 AM

Dear God,

Oh gosh, I had a flu shot last Wednesday and am having flu symptoms again ~ sore throat, congestion in my lungs, coughing, aching...  I wondered if I should have the shot because my immune system has been shaky but my doctor said if I got flu symptoms they would be light. Well, hello! They aren't light! I hate missing church but there's no way I want anyone to get what I have (again).

I've been struggling with my CPAP mask. The technician thought it would be the best route to go but it's been a challenge to get used to. By the middle of the night or towards morning, the bottom part of the mask is squeezing the heck out of my lower lip or twisted half off my face. I must say, it is helping ~ I have more energy and no snoring. Michael says I look like an alien with it on... I would agree ~ I looked in the mirror and went, "EEEEEKKKKK." Last night presented a new challenge ~ every time I had a coughing fit, my mask would move. I kept it on for four hours then said, "To heck with this."

It is supposed to be another really beautiful day here today. I worked outside all day yesterday shoveling mulch into my garden cart then spreading it in my gardens. My neighbor Don came over and weed-wacked the lirope which helped a lot. I did manage to finish one section of the lower garden and planned on doing another section today. Maybe not... I am like the hare ~ slow and steady. Ha! Thank goodness for my claw foot tub and meds that keep me going.

My furry kids woke me up this morning for their potty call and breakfast. Michael said I sounded awful so he took over.  Ever have one of those days that you'd just like to crawl back under the covers? I guess not, you're God and on call 24 hours a day. Michael provided me with a wonderful hot cup of french vanilla coffee and I did hunker down with my 4 furry kids. They love mornings with mom when they can play and snuggle and so do I! Besides, if they are lucky, they'll get a little piece of toast with some fresh jam on it!!

I've been having fun with the month of love. You know, red is one of my favorite colors and just the thought of romance, love, and spending time with special people rocks my day!

I had the TV on a day or so ago and there was an advertisement for the movie Fifty Shades of Gray. Several times, the announcer said, "Aren't you curious?" I stopped in my tracks because temptation starts with that phrase, "Aren't you curious?" Aren't you curious about: what alcohol tastes like, a cigarette, weed, heroin, cocaine, an affair, driving fast on a curvy road, pornography? The list could go on and on. Beginning in the Garden of Eden, "Aren't you curious?" has been the thorn in the side of man. Yes, we are curious and so often our curiosity gets us into some real pickles!

I am intrigued by the human mind and why we do the things we do. The TV show, Criminal Minds, has story after story of men and women who are curious about robbing, killing, abducting, and maiming. Once they "taste," more times than not they continue in their path of destruction.

In Genesis, I learned about Satan's strategy against Eve:

He got Eve spiritually isolated;

He got Eve to focus on what God hadn't given her;

He got Eve to believe that God was holding out on her;

He got Eve to ignore God's warnings about the consequences of sin.

HOWEVER, You tell us,

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And, God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

~1 Corinthians 10:13

There is a dark side of love and a dark side in each of us. As God, you know that full well. We're not always as wonderful as we wish we were and sometimes are so ashamed of our dark sides that we'd do anything to keep from being found out. So many times, I pray the following verse because I DO want to know when I'm being hurtful, secretive, and just down right nasty.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts,

And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way."  

~Psalm 139:23-24

Love isn't always sweetness and joy. My first brush with love's painful nip came at 22. I had just delivered my second daughter and was adjusting to life with a toddler and new baby. Out of the blue my husband confessed he'd been having an affair with his secretary and didn't know if he wanted to stay in the marriage. 40+ years later I remember my brokenness and the stabbing pain that shot through my heart. Fortunately, our love had its highs too and those are the times I choose to remember. My son was born 5 years later and we worked on the marriage trying to piece together what had been broken. In the end, he still chose another woman and I was left to find a new me. At the time, I thought I would curl up in a heap and die but, thankfully, I didn't and life moved on.

When I say love has a dark side, I shudder for I am still plagued with so many blank spots in my childhood. I was a sweet little girl who lived two lives ~ one was a life of hurt and anger and the other a life of make-believe where I was sooo happy. I was what the therapists called, "A complex case." It wasn't until I found a therapist versed in childhood trauma that I began to understand the darkness that comes from sexual abuse, neglect, and emotional distance. I dared to walk through the muddied waters and tried as best I could to know and understand. God, you have kept secrets from me and unveiled others as I could accept them. One day, one day, I will know why I cried, why I would run, and why I had these awful tapes running in my head that I knew nothing about. All I know is that I had these compelling desires to sabotage happiness in my life. Why? The tapes said, "You are ugly, you aren't worthy, you are a failure." (Sigh)

In the darkness of love, I wondered if I would ever love again. As a survivor of heartbreak, I know that love is possible. If you own your own stuff, find your role in endings, and are not closing the door to more love, you will move on stronger and wiser than before. We must Allow ourselves to feel the pain and, at the same time, trust that someday an attractive someone will pull up a chair next to us and say, "Hi." Our hearts will flutter in response and we will smile. If we feel love for others, trust me, we will find things within ourselves that need work. If we're playing the blame game and holding on to the ickier side of life, Satan has us where he wants us. Right God?

Lord God in Heaven, holy is your name. You made love to resonate from our hearts and souls and are love in the purest sense of the word. Because we are who we are, we fall so very short of your kind of love. Our humanness gets in the way and, by not following your example, we experience the dark side ~ not only of love, but of the evilness of the human race. Father, I pray for my Readers who are going through times of loneliness wondering if they will ever find a partner. I pray for those who have been hurt by love and are closed off not wanting to ever go through that hurt again. Open their hearts and fill them with hope. I pray for those marriages that are struggling and those words of "are you curious" are floating to the forefront of thoughts. I thank you for the examples of couples who have been together for many years and still have that spark. I pray that we would be kind to all people no matter what their color or physical attributes are like. Amen, it is so dear Jesus!

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS:  To be a Christian does not mean that we are to endure the dark side of love and live in misery. "We must surrender to what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be" (Anonymous). God has a plan for your life and to embrace that plan will bring peace in the midst of chaos. As a relationship coach, I read about every self-help book on the shelves. It wasn't until years later when I realized that head knowledge needs to be married to the heart in order to be of help and last.

"Self -salvation through good works may produce a great deal of moral behavior in your life, but inside you are miserable. You are always comparing yourself to other people, and you are never sure you are being good enough. You cannot therefore, deal with your hideousness and self-absorption through the moral law, by trying to be a good person through an act of the will. You need a complete transformation of the very motives of your heart."

~Tim Keller, The Reason for God

Love is a many splendored thing!

Love is a Many Splendored Thing

February 5, 2015
Wednesday

Dear God,

I am having such a grand time looking up old songs that I have loved over the years. Computers are such wonderful tools for bloggers. I can get as creative as I want to as well as look up information, store photos, and on and on.

God, you gave us hearts and the passion to love and be loved. Love is a good thing! In the beginning, man was lonely and You created a helper for him...

"The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone.

I will make a helper suitable for him.'"

~Genesis 2:18

It was then that romance began. I'll bet Adam was feeling pretty excited when he saw woman created just for him. Holy cow, I'll bet there were some sparks flying and some hugging going on! Case #1 of love at first sight!! It makes me realize what a gift it is to love someone and for them to love you back!!

One of my favorite things to do as a little girl was to play house with my dolls. They all had names and had wonderful lives. In fact, there were times when my imagination would get the best of me and I would actually think they could feel like real people. I loved my doll babies! Maybe that's why therapists use doll therapy for children who have experienced trauma. I laugh remembering because I was still playing with my dolls when I went on my first date.

A couple years ago, I was visiting my son and his family during the neighborhood garage sale. My youngest grandson and I decided to take a walk and check out what was available. We got to talking about what he would like I buy with the $5 I had given him. He said, "Grandma, I don't know why but I just love stuffed animals. They are so cuddly and I can talk to them." It wasn't long and he found a wonderful (big) bear that caught his fancy. All the way home, he was lost in conversation with his new friend. What a precious moment in time we shared. He opened up about his own loves and I could bask in the sunshine of his beautiful heart.

Love is BIG ... it is magnificent ... it is more than I can comprehend. It is unpredictable and all encompassing. Throughout the Old Testament You talked about the Messiah, your son. I still cannot wrap my arms around how You could love us sinners so much that You would sent your child to die on a cross. We're not talking about dolls or stuffed animals, I'm talking about your own flesh and blood!

Colossians 3:14 (CEV) says: "Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together." I stopped writing and meditated on that scripture verse a long while this morning. Love does tie everything together. I can really be angry about something someone did or didn't do; however, love is a constant that brings me back into the relationship without having to hurt them back or reject them. One of the things that makes me sad is when people withdraw love because someone didn't act the way they thought they should. I'm glad You don't do that my God. You are my fuzzy blanket that keeps my heart warm!!

Yesterday, I had an appointment with my local doctor to get a flu shot and talk with him about my sore shoulder and numbness in my right hand. He asked me why my eyes were sad and we began to talk about Zeke's death, Finn's death, and everything else that has been weighing on my shoulders for quite some time. It felt good to let it all out and have him understand. My independent strong self was buckling under the continual barrage of stressors and I am suffering from situational depression and burn out. What I do for many others, I couldn't do for myself  and my body was telling me to STOP and regroup. My neck and shoulder muscles were spasming creating havoc. Anyway, his compassion helped me understand that I didn't have to walk my path alone ... either I changed some things or my body would change them for me. Yikes! I needed to feed me some LOVE! I needed to grab hold of your hand, Jehovah Rapha, and allow your spirit to fill me.

As we go through life, we all have experiences that stretch the limits of our normal ability to cope and continue our daily routines. And, Lord, I want to pray for those who, like me, are going through a season of dealing with trauma ~ a major disaster, surviving an accident, experiencing a major illness, divorce, death of someone or even a pet that you are close to, lose of a job and the stress of finding another, financial woes, an empty love bank, loneliness, and even the feeling that You God, have abandoned them. Jehovah Rapha, I pray that you would lift the feeling of listlessness, hopelessness, sleeping difficulties, sadness, bouts of crying, anxiety, worry, loss of concentration, withdrawal from leisure activities, and even withdrawal from friends and family. A couple Sundays ago in church, we prayed for a young lady with suicidal thoughts. Be with her, helping her to understand the meaning of love coming from You and fellow believers. Amen, dear Jesus, it is so! I rest in You.

"For this reason I remind you to kindle afresh the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline. Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord or of me His prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God..."

~2 Timothy 1:6-8

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS: I pray before writing a blog and pray again afterwards asking the Lord God to use my words to glorify Him as well as touch others. Love is so important and I encourage you not to withhold love from those to whom it is due. (Proverbs 3:27) Many studies have been conducted about the importance of human touch and love ... With love we flourish and grow, without it, we wither and die. I was talking with my mother before she passed and she said one of the hardest things about being a widow was that absence of human touch. She had rheumatoid arthritis and I was rubbing her back with lotion ... oh to be able to do that today!! Is there someone who could benefit from your touch ... your love? Do not put off for tomorrow what you can do today!

Love makes the world go round

Love Makes the World Go Round

February 3, 2015
Tuesday

Dear God,

What a beautiful day to be alive. After a couple of cold days, the sun is out and temperatures rising. That's one of the things I like about Texas. We experience winter in spurts getting previews of spring just around the corner. Outside, here I come! Hopefully, I can get some photos of some of my flowers peeking through the mulch.

Love makes the world go round ~ yes, it does. Love is the universal language that does not require words. A smile, a touch, random acts of kindness.

My morning has been filled with love. My son called and I soaked in all the new things going on with my grandsons. I got a text from a special young lady who I love deeply. She gave an entire room of furniture away to a young man who had no furniture. She was feeling blessed to be able to bless someone else. When Michael and I got married, we did the same thing and gave his furniture to a family in need. I am naturally a giver, and it makes my heart sing to be able to put a smile on someones face or to lighten their load in life. I always enjoy having garage sales because I can give away to those in need as much as I sell.

I have been blessed to have lived in many different places and have had the opportunity to meet people from all walks of life. As a child, I grew up in small town Minnesota and it was there that I learned to appreciate the deepness of friendships. Love bound us together kindergarten through our senior year. My best friend, Lynda, and I went on to be roommates in college ~ I must say, she was an instrumental part of good in my growing up years. There is an old saying, "The friends you keep determine the trouble you meet." No truer words were spoken. If you want to know what kind of person you are dealing with look at who their closest companions are.

Your son, Jesus, was born in Bethlehem and his ministry only lasted about 3 1/2 years. Fast forward a couple of thousand years to today and his name is synonymous with love across the globe. Unless, you live deep in a jungle somewhere, you know his name and what he stood for. His love makes the world go round!!

Speaking of Jesus, there are many different religions and belief systems in place today. I watched a tv show (State of Affairs) last night where a young man had converted to Islam. What passion these converts have for Allah. People are looking for love ... something to believe in, something worth fighting for ~ to be passionate about. We've watered down our Christian faith so much, afraid of offending anyone and everyone. For me, my faith in Jesus is my rock, my core. I study and listen to wise men (and women) who are on fire for what they believe in ... YOU! Whoever gets through to our youth, wins. My Readers may disagree with me on that but that's what I think. Kids want to see their parents passionate about their beliefs ... they want to see love in action. They want to see what their parents are passionate about!

My God, my Savior, I pray for my Readers, my friends, my family and especially for Anthony who is testing the waters of independence and finding his own identity and for Miss Vivian whose heart I cherish. I pray for healing ... I pray for grace ... I pray for pathways to become clear and for hearts to be mended. I pray for protection and provision where there is a need. I pray for knowledge of your will for their lives. I pray for truth and light as candidates come forth in a bid for the presidency. Father God in Heaven have mercy on our souls and bring us to the reality of our sinful ways. I pray for those traveling and for those hit by the snowstorms of 2015. Be present in our lives in the name of Jesus! Amen, it is so.

Miss Dottie
.

NOTE TO MY READERS: What and who are you passionate about? Are you afraid of offending someone to the point where you stand for "sitting on the fence?" What would your family say is your legacy ~ your belief system? Do you bend the rules to fit in with your own desires? These are questions I ask myself every day. I don't know about you, but I fall so short so many times in so many areas. I believe in the passion of Christ's kind of love. He died for me. Has my "self" died to him?

For me, it's easy to identify believers by the fruits of their spirit and lives. These tv evangelists that preach "send me money and I will pray for you" prey on the shut-ins, the sick, the lonely. Yuk! Barf! Don't get me wrong, they're not all bad, just be careful of who and what you listen to and watch.

For today, join me in spreading some of that love that makes the world go round!

I'm in the mood for love

I'm in the Mood for Love

February 2, 2015

Dear God,

It's February, the month of love. Ah yes ... love.  Cupid is throwing darts and men and women are pining for that special someone to come into (or remain) their lives. To be honest there are probably some who are ready to do some kicking to the curb!! Oh oh...

One of my careers was that of matchmaker for Great Expectations. Know how I landed the job? Well, the owner, John, asked me about my background and reviewed my resume'. He was most intrigued about my training as a Stephen's Minister and we spent nearly the entire interview talking about how I could serve the singles coming in to the Dallas Centre. I got up from the interview, shook his hand and asked when he would be making a decision. His answer? "I already have, when can you start?"

I knew absolutely nothing about matchmaking but I did have this deep love of people which carried me through a wonderful season there. I wore many hats and thrived on the energy in meeting new people ~ I became Dr Romance (wrote an advice column for singles), developed/taught the Dating University, was Member Advisor to 2,000+ members, wrote a quarterly column for the newsletter, and did personal matchmaking for those who desired privacy. I laugh because I was so popular mainly because it didn't take long for members to know who held the key to the private members bios.

At a dating service, love was always in the air. Hearts were filled with hope on each new date and, many times, hearts broken from selections unanswered or relationships that just didn't work out. It was such fun to watch couples "click" and walk down the aisle. I took several groups on flirting safaris and taught them to have fun without being self conscious.  My hours were long but time would fly by with a constant steam of new and old members stopping by my office, writing, and organizing educational activities. Hmmm...wonderful memories!

As Dr Romance, the letters I got most often centered around those who weren't involved with romantic partners. It was about that time, that I did some research on romancing the self and that research has stayed with me. I surround myself with romance ... in my gardens, the cottage, and, even in the dinners I prepare. A bath is not just a time to get clean ~ it's a time to relax in hot bubbly water, listen to music, and reflect in the flickering candles. Everywhere I look, I am reminded of my love of people, art, books, and you, Lord. It won't be long and I will be able to clip stems of fragrant roses and breathe in their fragrance as I work on my blogs. Ah yes, a little bit of heaven on earth.

It was a week ago yesterday that my little Finn passed away. In his short little life, he taught me so much about joy, experiencing the ordinary as extraordinary, and the sheer unabandonment of puppy kisses. His little body exuded life and I am so grateful for the times we shared laughing and rough housing on the floor. When he was spent, he was spent (period!). He would lay in my arms limp knowing that I wouldn't drop him. One more time, I knew the value of time spent with a special someone whether man or beast.

This past week I've experienced the gamut of emotions from sheer giddiness to dark sadness. I went to church yesterday and had a hard time sitting through the service. It was like I was at Finn's funeral. There were songs that moved me, words that gave me hope, and friends that filled me with a sense of "You are not alone." I stayed in the present and knew I was where I needed to be. Lord, I am beyond grateful for being a part of a church family! 

William W. Purkey penned these famous words: "You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth." I know You love them as much as I do because You are love!

Thank you for this day and for all of the lives you have allowed me to invest in and for those who have invested in me. Today began uneventfully then zap I got hit with a whammie. I heard this voice saying, "I've got this" and, Father, you did work things out in ways I couldn't. Please God, bless Penny for all her help today and for who she is in You. Thank you for loving me unconditionally and for wooing me with your presence. I am in awe!

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS:  One of the first things women used to read in the newspaper was the Ann Landers and Dear Abby columns. Their advice was golden to many. Ann Landers said that love is a friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing, and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times, It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.

What does God say love is?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

~1Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

When you say, "I love you," it's a good idea to realize what it means!! 

It's been 2 days....

Monday
January 26, 2015

Dear God,

Today, I covered my head in sack cloth and sat in ashes as I mourned the loss of my precious puppy, Finn. Amen

I am trying so hard to understand not only the death of Finn but the sum of the events that have been out of my control in my life. Holy Heaven, it seems like I've gotten dealt a whole lot more nastiness than most. Am I feeling sorry for myself? Yes, I guess I am. I keep thinking that pain, heartache, rejection, and death is going to fade away and that joy will not be just for a fleeting moment.

Yesterday, I doubted my faith, I doubted You, and I felt like a whipped dog cowering waiting for the next blow. I cried, I kicked that old black crate, and I shook my fists at Satan. I was angry at You for allowing Finn to die. I could not wrap my arms around the blow that took me by surprise. I could barely get enough energy together to text my family to let them know what happened. I could not speak ... even today, words coming from my mouth are garbled. It is only by your grace that I am able to place my fingers upon the keys of my laptop and hope my words make sense.

This morning, I released the blog I wrote yesterday. I thank my Readers, for the compassion poured out and their words of caring. Pam McC ~ you will never know how much your text meant to me when you said that you had a rescue from Arkansas that I might think about. Just the fact that you would trust me with a precious rescue...well, you know...

Yesterday, I nearly scrubbed the pain off the floor in the cottage. I thought I would tackle the little casa today but I can't. It has been enough to survive the hours. My furry kids are close by and seem to understand. Kennedy has been more vocal than usual with his groans, Toby lays on top of my feet, and the little girls, Ruffy and Harmony, want to be in my lap. We are all grieving in our own way. We're a tight knit group here in Seidler Dogdom and, I know, we will survive but for now, we are remembering a little guy gone too soon.

Lord God, I am surrounded by a garrison of Christian friends who have taken the time to comfort and surround me with prayer. I am realizing that it is so important to have that blessing when all I have is sorrow. When I facilitated women's Bible studies, I used to start my class by bringing all the women together with one standing in the middle. I asked the woman in the middle to try fall down and, Father, she couldn't because of those standing so close. That was my purpose ~ to make sure that those attending my class knew they weren't alone. Personally, I think that should be an initiation rite for families ... each member needs to know they are not alone in times when they feel rejected and can't deal with life's sorrows.

January 27, 2015
Tuesday

I stopped in mid-thought last night and, rather than finish it up, I want to add to it.

My phone (calls and texts) started beeping and quacking before 7am with my family and dear friends reminding me that they were coming alongside me. With each message, I felt your love being infused into my being and, I thank You and them, too!

Lord God, I want to carry the torch in educating pet owners about the dangers of dog collars (with/without tags). My daughter, Jane, is now removing the collars from her three Corgis when they are in the house. My daughter, Jill, said Daisy never wears her collar inside. For the many who have read my blog about Finn's tragedy, I KNOW they will think about their own use of dog collars. If what happened to Finn can save other dogs then there will be a purpose to his short life.

It is a beautiful day. Michael is off work and was going to help me outside. He is thinking we should take a day trip and feel the warmth and beauty surrounding us. Maybe he is right.

Prayer has been such a huge part of my life for so long and for a couple days, I knew the Holy Spirit was interceding on my behalf. Today, dear Lord, I want to begin anew. I want to pray for the safety of all dogs put in crates with their collars on. I want to pray for the pet owners who have experienced similar senseless tragedies. Oh, I know, some will say, "They are just dogs..." Well, yes, they are ~ BUT, they are also our furry kids who make us smile and give us a sense of purpose in caring for them. I woke up also thinking about Miss Vivian today and countless others who are battling cancer and other illnesses. Be with them, showering them with your love and peace. Give an extra measure of patience to their caregivers who experience frustration and burn-out. And, Father, if you could, please send us another little Finn to brighten our days! Amen, it is so!!

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS:  The grief process is predictable yet a road so hard to walk. Sometimes, I think there should be benches at each step where we can sit awhile and truly experience what we need to to move onward.  Sometimes I think I've moved forward when, in reality, I've made a U-turn and circled back. I was half-asleep this morning when I was sure that I heard Finn's little bark. Then, I remembered...

I was so happy today...then,

January 25, 2015
Sunday

Dear God in Heaven,

I was so happy this morning ... I got up praising You and looking forward to a beautiful day of church and spending time outside with the Fabulous 5. Now that the big tree's branches have been taken care of and holes plugged, my furry kids could enjoy the sunshine and cool breezes without me chasing them all over the neighborhood.

Finn had been especially mischievous today.  He had no sooner finished his breakfast and he was up in the dishwasher, turned the trash over, and was chasing Ruffy's tail. He came out to the cottage with me then pulled shoes out of the closet, grabbed my computer cord, took a nose dive into my purse, and had both feet in his water dish. I was laughing at his antics telling him that no matter what, we were sticking these crazy puppy days out ~ together!

I finished getting dressed and picked Finn up. He was wiggling and licking my face as I was trying to put him in the crate. Finn hated the crate with a passion so I rarely used it preferring to put the baby gate up corralling him in the bathroom when I left. He was managing to climb over the gate and I was afraid he'd hang himself so the crate was the only thing I had that (I thought) would keep him safe. I turned down going to the women's conference in Tyler because Michael worked a long distance from home and I didn't want him to be "locked up" for so long. I figured there was next year when he would be out of his puppy stage and could roam freely about the house.

We went to church and, oh my gosh, I felt like I was sailing on air. Pastor Dudley gave a powerful message and, of course, the band was on the top of their game. I hugged and greeted my brothers and sisters in Christ and was thanking You for blessings. When we left church, we stopped to get a few groceries then came on home ~ we had been gone about 3 hours.

I walked into the cottage to let Finn out of his crate and screamed. He had caught his name tag sideways between the bars of the crate and, even though his collar wasn't tight, he strangled himself. I opened the crate and slid him out. I ran screaming to the house. Michael grabbed Finn and we were rubbing him hoping that You would bring him back. I wanted You to perform a miracle just like the story Pastor Dudley talked about in church. I can't even begin to express the horror I was feeling.

God, because of what happened to Zeke, we have been on guard almost 24/7 with the Fabulous 5 and especially baby Finn. I guess you could say I was on the brink of being paranoid about training him and keeping him safe. This week he was to finish up his puppy shots then we were scheduled for Puppy Kindergarten.

Dear God in heaven, I have had dogs most of my years on this earth. They have lived to old age and, other than my 2 Poms that were stolen in New Mexico, nothing out of the ordinary had ever happened. In November, Zeke was hit by a black truck, and I could barely stand the pain. I am still feeling that pain although Finn gave me plenty to smile about and lots of hope. Now, today... Here I am the encourager, the believer, your loyal subject ... broken into a million pieces. I am trying, Lord, to look upward yet I can't. I look at the grave of my tiny boy and my breath is labored.

Michael was trying to comfort me telling me it wasn't my fault. Was it? He was supposed to be safe in his crate. How could his name tag get twisted sideways? My God, he must have been so frantic and scared and I wasn't there to protect him.

If I did everything I humanly could to keep him safe whose fault is it? I am struggling, God, and I am asking that You show yourself 'cause between the crazies of the past and the loss of my two little guys, I am damn mad. I want to wither up and die. Ruffy and Harmony want to lick my salty tears ... Toby is sniffing the ground where we laid Finn to rest ... Kennedy is squashed up beside me doing his "groaning" and "moaning." I sob yet I am numb. I am afraid to feel the magnitude of this tragedy for fear of crumbing and not being able to put myself together.

I can't think of comforting scriptures, I can't think ... I don't know what to do with myself. As much as we devoted our days and nights (I surrounded my bed with pillows in case he fell off) to keeping Finn safe, we failed. I look around and cry out, "What next?" God, I know you are a good God and I also know everything is Father-filtered so now I say, "Why did you allow the evil one to attack me ... again. Is he laughing at me as I mourn?" When is the next boulder going to drop?

The crate is gone and I cannot speak except to write. I guess writers are that way...

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO MY READERS:  Please pray for me as I struggle. I have no photos to share and no positive words to say so I will quote John Grogan: "Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come each day. It is amazing how much love and laughter they bring into our lives and even how much closer we become with each other because of them."

RIP my sweet baby boy, Finn. I am missing you ... your slobbery puppy breath kisses, your growls and bites, and, most of all, your mischievous ways of making me laugh when life dealt me some ugly spoiled lemons.

PS  My daughter sent me this note a few minutes ago:  "WHAT??!! OH my gosh!! I cannot believe it-- I did a little internet search and was shocked to find out how common this tragety occurs. I love you and understand if you don't want to talk about it today. I have my phone close by in case you call. Love YOU!!

According to a survey from the North American Veterinary Conference in 2003, 91 percent of veterinarians reported having seen or heard of one to five dogs injured or strangled by their collar within the last year. They also believed that only one in four dog owners knew the risks associated with putting a collar on their dog.

Places Dogs May Get Caught.

The most commonly reported strangulation-related collar accidents are listed below, in order of frequency:

Fence: This occurs when dogs are peering over, jumping over or digging/crawling under the fence and the collar gets caught.
Play: When dogs play with one another, they typically will mouth at each other’s necks. The dog’s lower jaw and teeth can easily get stuck on another dog’s collar. While they try to free themselves, one dog may suffocate, while the other is left with a broken jaw.
Crate: Statistically, this is just as common as play strangulation; it occurs when the identification tags get stuck in the bars of the crate.http://www.petsadviser.com/behaviors/preventing-dog-collar-accidents/
Branch: While a dog may love romping through the woods, branches can easily snag the collar and strangle the dog, or puncture his neck area.
Heating/Cooling air vents: Like crate strangulation, the hanging identification tags can get stuck in air vents, and while the dog struggles, he ends up doing more harm than good.

Preventing Dog Collar Accidents - Pets Adviser

www.petsadviser.com

Please pass this information on to any pet owners you know ... our fence is secure and the collars are coming off.