Sunday
Dear God in Heaven,
Finn had been especially mischievous today. He had no sooner finished his breakfast and he was up in the dishwasher, turned the trash over, and was chasing Ruffy's tail. He came out to the cottage with me then pulled shoes out of the closet, grabbed my computer cord, took a nose dive into my purse, and had both feet in his water dish. I was laughing at his antics telling him that no matter what, we were sticking these crazy puppy days out ~ together!
I finished getting dressed and picked Finn up. He was wiggling and licking my face as I was trying to put him in the crate. Finn hated the crate with a passion so I rarely used it preferring to put the baby gate up corralling him in the bathroom when I left. He was managing to climb over the gate and I was afraid he'd hang himself so the crate was the only thing I had that (I thought) would keep him safe. I turned down going to the women's conference in Tyler because Michael worked a long distance from home and I didn't want him to be "locked up" for so long. I figured there was next year when he would be out of his puppy stage and could roam freely about the house.
We went to church and, oh my gosh, I felt like I was sailing on air. Pastor Dudley gave a powerful message and, of course, the band was on the top of their game. I hugged and greeted my brothers and sisters in Christ and was thanking You for blessings. When we left church, we stopped to get a few groceries then came on home ~ we had been gone about 3 hours.
I walked into the cottage to let Finn out of his crate and screamed. He had caught his name tag sideways between the bars of the crate and, even though his collar wasn't tight, he strangled himself. I opened the crate and slid him out. I ran screaming to the house. Michael grabbed Finn and we were rubbing him hoping that You would bring him back. I wanted You to perform a miracle just like the story Pastor Dudley talked about in church. I can't even begin to express the horror I was feeling.
God, because of what happened to Zeke, we have been on guard almost 24/7 with the Fabulous 5 and especially baby Finn. I guess you could say I was on the brink of being paranoid about training him and keeping him safe. This week he was to finish up his puppy shots then we were scheduled for Puppy Kindergarten.
Dear God in heaven, I have had dogs most of my years on this earth. They have lived to old age and, other than my 2 Poms that were stolen in New Mexico, nothing out of the ordinary had ever happened. In November, Zeke was hit by a black truck, and I could barely stand the pain. I am still feeling that pain although Finn gave me plenty to smile about and lots of hope. Now, today... Here I am the encourager, the believer, your loyal subject ... broken into a million pieces. I am trying, Lord, to look upward yet I can't. I look at the grave of my tiny boy and my breath is labored.
Michael was trying to comfort me telling me it wasn't my fault. Was it? He was supposed to be safe in his crate. How could his name tag get twisted sideways? My God, he must have been so frantic and scared and I wasn't there to protect him.
If I did everything I humanly could to keep him safe whose fault is it? I am struggling, God, and I am asking that You show yourself 'cause between the crazies of the past and the loss of my two little guys, I am damn mad. I want to wither up and die. Ruffy and Harmony want to lick my salty tears ... Toby is sniffing the ground where we laid Finn to rest ... Kennedy is squashed up beside me doing his "groaning" and "moaning." I sob yet I am numb. I am afraid to feel the magnitude of this tragedy for fear of crumbing and not being able to put myself together.
I can't think of comforting scriptures, I can't think ... I don't know what to do with myself. As much as we devoted our days and nights (I surrounded my bed with pillows in case he fell off) to keeping Finn safe, we failed. I look around and cry out, "What next?" God, I know you are a good God and I also know everything is Father-filtered so now I say, "Why did you allow the evil one to attack me ... again. Is he laughing at me as I mourn?" When is the next boulder going to drop?
The crate is gone and I cannot speak except to write. I guess writers are that way...
Miss Dottie
NOTE TO MY READERS: Please pray for me as I struggle. I have no photos to share and no positive words to say so I will quote John Grogan: "Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come each day. It is amazing how much love and laughter they bring into our lives and even how much closer we become with each other because of them."
RIP my sweet baby boy, Finn. I am missing you ... your slobbery puppy breath kisses, your growls and bites, and, most of all, your mischievous ways of making me laugh when life dealt me some ugly spoiled lemons.
PS My daughter sent me this note a few minutes ago: "WHAT??!! OH my gosh!! I cannot believe it-- I did a little internet search and was shocked to find out how common this tragety occurs. I love you and understand if you don't want to talk about it today. I have my phone close by in case you call. Love YOU!!
According to a survey from the North American Veterinary Conference in 2003, 91 percent of veterinarians reported having seen or heard of one to five dogs injured or strangled by their collar within the last year. They also believed that only one in four dog owners knew the risks associated with putting a collar on their dog.
Places Dogs May Get Caught.
The most commonly reported strangulation-related collar accidents are listed below, in order of frequency:
Fence: This occurs when dogs are peering over, jumping over or digging/crawling under the fence and the collar gets caught.
Play: When dogs play with one another, they typically will mouth at each other’s necks. The dog’s lower jaw and teeth can easily get stuck on another dog’s collar. While they try to free themselves, one dog may suffocate, while the other is left with a broken jaw.
Crate: Statistically, this is just as common as play strangulation; it occurs when the identification tags get stuck in the bars of the crate.http://www.petsadviser.com/behaviors/preventing-dog-collar-accidents/
Branch: While a dog may love romping through the woods, branches can easily snag the collar and strangle the dog, or puncture his neck area.
Heating/Cooling air vents: Like crate strangulation, the hanging identification tags can get stuck in air vents, and while the dog struggles, he ends up doing more harm than good.
www.petsadviser.com
Please pass this information on to any pet owners you know ... our fence is secure and the collars are coming off.
Oh Dottie. My heart breaks for you. This is so unbelievable! You are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm SO sorry.
ReplyDeletePraying for you. Maybe God thought Zeke needed a friend.
ReplyDeleteIt's heartbreaking and painful...as one dog-lover to another-- you are mourning the loss of a "child". My prayers are with you. I don't think I can ease the pain, yet I can cry with you and walk beside you.
ReplyDeleteLove and Prayers,
Jane