It's always amazing to me how God works in our lives. I was watching TV a couple Sundays ago and tuned in to watch Joyce Meyer. I've really never listened to her before nor have I read any of her books. To tell you the truth, her voice and delivery has always seemed kind of scratchy and I would switch the channel. BUT, this particular Sunday, I managed to sit through her talk and found myself sinking deeper and deeper into her message. The next chance I got, I went to the bookstore and bought her book, BATTLEFIELD OF THE MIND. It's sat on the counter until this morning when I was prompted to pick it up...
I've only read several chapters but goodness, it was like going back into trauma therapy. I don't know about you, but I have to hear something several times (or more often than that!) before it sinks in. For so many years I suffered with worry, doubt, depression, anger, feelings of condemnation, and an overwhelming urge to destroy myself (I battled this daily because my inner tapes told me I was no good and didn't deserve good). I made choices that I didn't understand and was so afraid to speak out when someone hurt me. After all, I deserved it! I would retreat and smile ... and smile ... and smile. I would also get angry then chastise myself for doing so. Although I had some wonderful friends, I also attracted people who were takers in life. Being a giver, I was prey far too often.
My enemy was Satan. He used the tapes of my childhood and past to torment me. I was in bondage to my flawed thinking. Satan was careful to point out every mistake I made. I listened and my life became shame based. Looking back, I realize now how God worked in my life ... slowly he peeled back all the untruths in my life (and I mean slowly) ... He spoke through pastors, friends, His Word, counselors, acquaintances and classes. The church I was attending sent me to a conference ... the class I attended was about being transformed by the renewing of the mind. I basked in the information presented and it was there that a small thought was planted about my flawed thinking.
The strongholds in my mind had been there for a long while. I didn't know they were even there. I started teaching classes at church ... Romans; James; The Proberbs 31 Woman; and, The Power of A Praying Wife. I took classes at the Collin County Women's Shelter to counsel those who were in abusive situations and was on the Speaker's Forum. I became a relationship coach and devoured every book I could find on relationships so I could be an effective teacher of the Dating University and work with single adults (both at work and at church). With each step, I learned something new and my uneasiness grew. Why could I be so effective as a teacher and in my work with people and fail so miserably in my own life in certain areas??
My weapons became The Word. "So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, 'If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'"~~John 8:31-32 Praise and prayer became second nature to me. Some of the people who were at the church I was attending raised holy hands during the service. When we sang songs, I wanted to raise my hands too but it took a long while before I could do that. I remember the first time ... we were singing We Are Standing on Holy Ground and all of a sudden my arms popped up. The love of my Lord took precedence over my fears. I was like a doubting Thomas ... I kept asking God, you show me you are real and in control. He did.
I laughed ... I was asked to be on the prayer team for the church. Who me? I couldn't pray out loud in front of others. My voice tends to crack and I get my words jumbled up... Reluctantly, I went and in one session, I was overwhelmed by urgency and asked the team to pray for a particular lady NOW!! The hair was standing up on my arms, sweat was running down my back, and I was obedient. Some time later, I received a letter from the woman we prayed for. At the time we were praying for her, she was being chased on a freeway by an unknown man. She said she felt our prayers, she was delivered safely from harm, and thanked me. I'm still in awe at the power of God and how He uses us in our weaknesses.
I had to face the truth about myself and my past as God revealed it. It was a painful process to face my own faults and deal with them. (It's ALWAYS easier to be angry at and blame others) I knew I didn't want to stay in bondage. My outward choices were a result of my tapes that ran in the back of my mind. I kept trying on my own to fix me and I just couldn't. I would cry out to God to save me from myself.
"For as he thinks in his heart, so is he."~~Proverbs 23:7 It became a priority in my life to erase the tapes of stinkin' thinkin' and move forward. I had to think truth and stop condemning myself. In Romans 8, we are told that if we think on the things of the flesh we will walk in the flesh but if we think on the things of the Spirit, we will walk in light and in the Spirit. Joyce Meyer says in her book, "...your life will not get straightened out until your mind does ... or, where the mind goes, the man follows." I like those statements.
I never gave up. I have never been a quitter and I want to encourage you, my readers to keep on keepin' on in rough times. God gives us a promise in Isaiah 43:2 it says: "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you." It's easy to just quit ... it takes faith and perseverance to keep on walking.
I'd accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was a small child so that was Step I to my recovery. Step II was accepting the Bible as truth. Step III? The secret to my breakthrough was the words, "I choose" I took my thoughts captive and chose how I wanted to think. Am I perfect at this? Heck no!! One day at a time, I am better ... I am kind to myself and give myself permission to fail. I share my journey with others who choose to talk my hand and walk along. Some do, some don't, that's their choice. Because of my past, I am quick to defend children and people who are being abused. Children can't speak for themselves so, as adults, we must protect and give them truth. Abused people become cowered and I want to give them hope.
What do you choose today? I had many tapes and many mental strongholds that had built up over many years. Satan had lied to me and I believed him. I lived in his deception. Little by little, year by year, the transforming of my mind and spirit has evolved and I am so very grateful. My smiles are real now and I wake up thinking positive thoughts about myself and the world around me. God tells us to be wise as serpents and gentle as lambs!
I wish I could bring my readers together and each of us share the journey of our lives. Freedom brings new life and good thoughts. I leave you with this:
"I believe God. I believe He is working in me no matter what I may feel or how the situation may look. The Lord has begun a good work in me, and He will bring it to full completion." Quote from Joyce Meyer's book, BATTLEFIELD OF THE MIND.
If you're looking for some scriptures to write on your mirror to remind you of the awesomeness of our Lord, please look at this video. It touched me and I've written some down that I want to memorize. Carpe' Diem!!
If you're looking for some scriptures to write on your mirror to remind you of the awesomeness of our Lord, please look at this video. It touched me and I've written some down that I want to memorize. Carpe' Diem!!
Wow - speechless.....
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