The glue that binds us together!

Good Morning Readers!  It's a little cloudy and rainy but, no matter, I am enjoying my perch on the back porch.  God has blessed my gardens ... they are afire with color this Spring.  Don't you just love perennials?  Each Spring, they pop up prettier than the year before!  I'm always surprised as there are some volunteers that seem to come up where they weren't planted!!


I was thinking today about what holds families together...  I've heard the statement, blood is thicker than water and I know that's true; however, I think there's a whole lot more to it than that.  Over the years I've had to examine my own family of origin and have tried to find out what made it work or not work.  The baggage I have carried with me bogged me down for a long time ... then, I found that when I opened the suitcases and dumped all the contents out there was much worth saving.  The worn, ragged contents that needed to be tossed ... I tossed!!  It was hard though 'cause for a long time I felt guilty about opening my mouth and making choices that might cause someone else embarrassment.  The good stuff, I laundered and wore proudly!!


Most people in my mother's family were loud and outspoken.  The men of the family would get together and scream, swear and nearly come to blows about politics, life, and whatever...  You'd think they were the worst of enemies but upon departure they would decide to get together again soon!  Living on a farm, they worked together and played together.  My mother would relate stories to me about her childhood and how her father and brothers were often abusive and how her mother was distant.  With all of this on the table, she still wanted to visit them at least once a week making the 30 mile trip looking forward to seeing them all.  She would ache when she and her brother disagreed and he distanced himself from her.  In this instance, blood was thicker than water.  As a child, I was unaware of so much that transpired between the adults.  My cousins were so fun to play with and they all had good hearts.  Still do!


Most folks in my father's family were quiet and soft spoken.  My grandmother's home was a hub of lively conversation.  It was a rarity for her not to have company each and every day.  Bestemor's home was a feel-good place.  The families built their homes on God and a genuine love of one another.  We visited at least once a week and sometimes more often.  The glue?  God and respect.  My cousins on this side of the family were also fun to be around ... many were so much older than me since my father was the baby of the family.


In some ways, the marriage of my father and mother was like fire and water.  My father was a quiet, solid man who took his role of husband and head of the home seriously.  Before the war, I have heard him described as fun, full of the dickens, kind, and loving.  My mother was also described as fun and caring.  My father returned from the war and before they really knew how each other had changed during their time apart, they were married.  My mother loved my father deeply; however, role as a wife and mother took her away from her first love, her work.  Her work defined her and she excelled in her field.  She wanted me to have all the things she didn't have and made sure that I had pretty prom dresses and the opportunity to go to college.  What was the glue that held my family together?  My mother and father were married for better and worse ... they attended church and divided time between their own families of origin.  The word divorce was never brought up and they were cemented in their covenant!  My parents were committed to one another.

I left home at 17 to attend college.  I felt lost ... I'd lived in a small town, led a very defined life, and had never had to make decisions on my own.  The glue that held me together was gone...  I stumbled and tried as best I could to make some sense of who I was and what direction I wanted to go.  I've always wondered why a smart, sweet young lady struggled so much.  When I met my first husband, he offered what I'd always known ... my life with him was familiar and comfortable.  The glue that held us together was a familiar repeat of the past.  Just like my parents defined me, he defined me.  In today's terms, you would say we were very co-dependant on one another.

 In the mid 1980's, I took a 2 year class on the Bible.  Even though I was a Christian and was a good person, I knew that I needed to start building a new foundation.  I had been thinking that happiness was just that next prince in shining armor and I decided to swear off marriage.  What I didn't realize was that until I got rid of the old glue, I was destined to repeat my follies.


Have you ever tried to remove old glue that has set a long time?  It was a painful, strange process that meant hours of self examination, changing thoughts that I thought were logical, learning what was healthy and not so healthy, and cleansing my mind, body and soul.  Believe me, that didn't happen overnight.  What started as a visit to a psychologist in the early 1980's took many years to come full circle.  People would ask me why I continued in therapy only to repeat my past over and over.  I didn't have the answer to that ... all I knew is that somehow there was something I was missing.  My stubbornness and perseverance paid off and I was able to move through the mud to freedom.


The glue that holds me together is my faith and belief in the Lord Jesus Christ and the people who uplift and support me.  The glue that holds me together allows me to make mistakes, fail, and grow without condemning myself without mercy.  With that said, I am able to have healthy relationships and be open in my opinions, love, and in forgiving myself, I am able to forgive others.  I am not afraid and hold my head high.

What is the glue that holds my own family together?  Love, respect, commitment, a love of the Lord Jesus Christ, wanting the best for one another, sacrifice, giving, forgiveness...  For Michael and I we are God honoring and are bound by a life-time covenant ... we have an interdependent relationship.

Speaking of Michael, this morning he served me breakfast in bed.  What a treat!!  He also brought in his phone and we listened to the podcast The Benefits of Laughter by Pastor Joel Osteen.  We talked about laughter in our own lives and how we needed to share more of that with others.  Most of our memory-making moments in life involved laughter and we agreed that laughter is a great healer.

What glue binds you together and also binds you to your family and others?  Are you drawn to people who love to laugh and make the most of their God-given days or are you bound to those who live in the cesspool of life and are comfortable there?  I looked back on my life this morning ... at first I cringed at all my foils and fumbles THEN I realized that with every fumble I grew in maturity and knowledge.  I smiled and could laugh at my old thoughts realizing that my glue is now a healthy glue.

It's May 1st ... a day I remember as a fun day as a child.  I would make "May Baskets" and would deliver them to my friends ... they would chase me and try to catch me.  We would dance around the Maypole:

  

Dance Around the Maypole
In and out, in and out,
Weave the ribbons tight;
'Round the Maypole we will dance
To the left and to the right.

Times have changed and I doubt that many even celebrate May Day anymore.  I am grateful for good memories and the laughter life brings!

Have a wonderful day ... Look for the joy in life.  Laughter truly is good for the soul!!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

How about joining hands with friends and family today and dance rejoicing in the glue that holds you all together!!