God's Ambassador

"Therefore we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us." ~~ II Corinthians 5:20 (ESV)

September 2, 2012

OMG, it's September!  Can you believe it??  It's supposed to get up to 100 degrees this afternoon.  Hopefully, we won't have many more days of triple digits!!  Until then, I remember Fall last year and the years before and look forward to the cooler days and chilly nights.

Come on in ... I've started digging out my Fall decorations.  Mr. Pumpkin Man says, "Come sit awhile and enjoy some cider!"

I've been struggling with the program I use for my blog ... it was scrambling paragraphs, leaving out paragraphs when I hit save, and did all sorts of screwy things.  I would get frustrated and close my computer only to find that I was drawn back to try again.  I think that's jut my nature.  I hate giving up on anything ... or anyone!

Many years ago now, I was on the Board of Directors that established the first shelter for battered women in Collin County Texas.  It was at that time that I began to reach out to women and children who faced abuse whether physical, mental, or spiritual.  I'm not sure whether it was me reaching out to them or the way they touched my life but through it all, I found myself transformed into a very compassionate but no nonsense person.

I believe with all my heart that God allows certain trials in our lives so that we are prepared to minister to others traveling on the road of life.  Why can the addict minister to another addict?  Because they know what that person is going through.  I can't know because I am not an addict.  (Unless you count the dark chocolate that I munch on everyday!)  Yet, I can understand the woman who struggles with abuse and the child who wishes they were whole.  I can understand the woman who doesn't understand why she does certain things when she knows they are wrong and against her principles.  I know about the hidden tapes ... the trappings of the unconscious mind and how Satan uses this to sabotage and destroy.

I've been fooled and taken advantage of -- my pillow has been wet with tears of sadness.  Then, I get up and march onward holding out my arms to those who need a hug.  I listen and pray ... that's what I'm called to do.  I share my story and tell of my road to wellness.  It's not magic ... just real, down to earth stories of different seasons of my life.  I cannot make decisions for another human being nor do I want to interrupt God's workings in their lives.  What can I offer?  Hope ... there's always hope.

What is an ambassador?  An authorized representative or messenger?  I would say that covers the meaning pretty well.  When I signed up as a Christian, I asked the Lord to put me on the front lines of life.  I'm not sure I knew what I was getting into but He did and He must have had some confidence in my abilities.  What is my message?  I am a sinner saved by grace ... a woman of God who took a few detours in life and ended up in a whole lot of hot water.  He said, "I want you."  And, I said, "Ok."  I showed up for training at church, in the community, and in life.  I made strides forward then slipped and fell down each time knowing that He would use the bad in my life for good ... someplace, somehow, with someone.  I've never been disappointed ... I have faith that gets stronger day by day and hope that moves forward even when I am reeling from the knowledge that life's not fair.

Many a time, I've wondered what my purpose is since I moved to Central Texas.  I've found it a tough go to get into activities here.  Maybe it's because I am a little shy around people I don't know?  My mind and body have been very tired and if I am not careful, I can slip into periods of melancholy shutting myself off from the world and existing in my own bubble.  The getting settled process has taken longer than usual -- the unfamiliar quite frightening at times.  My mind can logically figure out what is transpiring in my life but my heart tells me of a longing to return to the familiar.  Anyone who has moved a lot in their life knows exactly what I am talking about.

Anyone with a chronic illness knows how difficult it can be to get up when you'd rather stay in bed; smile when you'd rather cry; and, lead a normal life when life isn't normal at all.  I am remembering my mother at my age and how she ended up giving in to the rheumatoid arthritis that attacked her body.  I must say that I am beginning to understand her more and judge her less.  She used to describe the pain in her body in ways that I couldn't understand at the time.  Many a time, I have gotten on my knees to say, "I'm sorry, Mom, I had no idea." 

I would like to think that I am God's ambassador to my family as well as the world.  I would like to think that somehow, someway He has been and is able to use me to bring hope and healing to those around me.  I pray before I begin a blog as well as after I publish it.  God hears our cries in the darkness of life bringing forth healing and the message of hope!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie
   

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