My God ... My Way

September 16, 2012

What a gorgeous Fall day.  The rain is falling softly, feeding my plants; leaves are floating down from the tree in the backyard; the pecan tree in the front yard is heavily pregnant ready to give birth any moment; and, I am reveling in the beauty of the moment.  I spend a good deal of time in the cottage - my woman cave is all that I hoped it would be and more!  This morning, I took a long soak in the claw foot tub and decided that I would take a day to reflect and set some goals.  The stillness here is only interrupted by the sounds of nature and the squirrels living in the backyard.  Sadie is laying in front of the french doors snoring up a storm.   I laugh ... my sweet puppy Toby just appeared at the doors wanting in.  Now there are three of us here...

Several days ago, I was sitting in the cottage composing an email and all of a sudden, I heard a voice inside of me say, "My God, my way."  I looked at what I had been writing and my face turned red.  Was I was playing God ... my way?  I decided that I would stop my email writing and go back to my blog screen and sit with my fingers on the keyboard until they started to move.

So many thoughts began to run through my head ... so fast that I couldn't type them down if I wanted to.  They were jumbled together and I couldn't slow them down to sort them out.  I tried to type but the words wouldn't come.  What in the world was going on with me?

I've always marched to the tune of my own drum.  I am a trail blazer bent on discovering new ways and new ideas.  I may be quiet but I feel with deep emotion.  Loyal?  To a fault ... if I am your friend, I AM your friend.  I think the best of people and believe what they tell me.  Gullible?  Sometimes...  One thing for sure is that I've learned that when God speaks, I listen.  At first, I thought I might be crazy when this first started happening years ago ... after consulting with some counselors and other Christians, they assured me I was NOT crazy.  Intercessory prayer was just a gift of the spirit...  Okay, that being said, my role was simply to pray for God's will in all areas.  I decided I could do that.  He was to him that I bowed my knee and became a disciple.

 

My God is an awesome God, and, like the song continues, he reigns from Heaven above.  With power and might, my God is an awesome God.  If I believe that with all my heart why the "My God, my way?"  My hands sat on the keyboard for what seemed like an hour.  I looked at the blank screen and felt this sense of uncertainty.  Had I labeled my God according to my own desires and my own thoughts?  Had I made him into a molding of my own making?

   

When I read the Old Testament, I saw God almost as a dictator using the law to direct and punish.  Oh my goodness, if he felt like it, he wiped out entire cities.  At times, He was a loving, forgiving God but I would still gasp at the historical events leading up to the New Testament.   There was so much I didn't understand.  My ways are definitely not God's ways...
   

Advancing into the New Testament, I realized the deepness of the love that God had for the Jews and for the Gentiles.  John 3:16 says that God loved the world so much that he gave his only son that we would have eternal life.  Doesn't get much sweeter than that.  As a philosopher though, I've wondered if I could lose my salvation.  It never took me long to return to the safety of "salvation is forever."  I think it depends on if we were sincere when we signed on to enlist in God's army.
     

As I reflected on my own life was it "My God, my way" or it is "God, His way?"  I know that I can use God as my excuse thinking that no matter what He will forgive me OR I can say, God says "that" is wrong and I must be obedient.  I'm not sure that God is someone to be fooled or messed with.  It is difficult at best to lead an honorable life walking in the light of a risen savior but is it possible?  You bet!  My conscience (The Holy Spirit) tells me when I am off track and believe me, I hear loud and clear.  I'm busted good if I go ahead and commit a sin that I know is wrong.  Oh, I can have wonderful excuses in my back pocket ... "the devil made me do it, I didn't know, I didn't mean it, but they did..."  But, when push comes to shove, I know what's right and what's wrong.

The Bible is God's way of speaking to us -- the words come alive edifying, teaching, confronting, changing. I can read a passage one year and (ho hum) pass it by ... another time I can read the same passage and put WOW (!) in the margin.  Are non believers held to the same standards as believers.  No, not at all.  How can you expect someone to see where they are going if they are walking in darkness?  First, light your candle then offer to light theirs...

A couple nights ago, I closed off the cottage, lit a white candle and spent hours in deep concentrated prayer.  I had received several emails from people who were going through trials, illnesses, and life threatening issues.  As an intercessor, I stood in the gap, weeping and pleading for the perfect will of God to be done in each individuals lives.  I hadn't been on my knees like that in a long time and afterwards I felt drained but at peace.  As in times past, I heard this voice ... "Be still and know that I am God."  Psalm 46:10  I knew that my petitions had been heard and that the armies of heaven had been released to work behind the scenes.  I had to remember ... God, His way!  I knew what "I" wanted ... I knew (according to scripture) what God wanted.  Then, I had to remember that God gives his people free will.  Amen...

On this day of rest, I pray that you will be led to follow the man who came to earth to show us the way, the truth and the life.  When we choose to follow him, we walk in newness of life knowing that we will so gladly take off the cloak of the past and become more like him each and every day. He doesn't say "change" first then come ... his arms are open wide and he wraps those arms around us just where we are.  There is hope for each of us, hope for our country, and hope in the life everlasting.  Amen!

It is with joy that I write to you this morning.  It is with love that I reach out to you ... it is with strength that I claim victory in the living Lord.  I made a choice not "My God, my way" but "God, his way!!"

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... ya you!!

Miss Dottie