Moth Balls, Rose Water Perfume, & Old Spice

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Dear Readers,

Good Morning!  It is so beautiful here this morning.  I am being serenaded by the chimes and birds singing their hearts out.  We had plenty of rain the past couple days which really perked my gardens up.  It's hard not to feast my eyes on the flowers rather than my computer.  I am sitting in the cottage with a bird's eye view of the backyard.  Toby, Sadie, and Kennedy are out stretched out basking in the sun.

Grandma Belle and my mother

This Mother's Day will be another first in my life.  All my mothers are now in heaven.  I lost my mom 25 years ago on May 6 and we lost Mom S just 4 short months ago.  The circle of life becomes more evident with each passing year -- that realization that life on earth ends for all of us.  I can say that age is just a number BUT, in reality, I am, with some exceptions, that oldest generation that will fade away in time.

Grandma Maggie

When I was a young girl, my father would go to the florist shop and order carnation corsages for Grandma Maggie, Grandma Belle, and my mother.  I loved them  and couldn't wait for the day that I would receive a corsage of my own to wear to church on Mother's Day.  Gradually over the years, the gifting of corsages has become passe.  In fact, I don't think I've ever gotten one.  Boo hiss!  Every now and then, I see a few corsages -- mainly on elderly women who remember the tradition and have children my age who remember.

I decided to do a little research on the old tradition of corsages on Mother's Day (the Internet is a wonderful encyclopedia!) so here ya go:

I found that carnations have been traditionally associated with Mother's Day.  This association (according to legend) goes back to the passion of the Christ.  Seeing Christ's sufferings, his mother Mary shed tears which fell on the ground.  These tears are supposed to have turned into the fragrant and beautiful carnations.  Pink carnations stand for always on my mind.

Back in the 1950's and 1960's, folks used carnations of different colors to indicate whether you are showing your love and respect for a mother who is alive or dead.  Red and pink carnations are meant to honor a  mother who is alive and white carnations are used to honor a mother who is dead.  My mother and grandmothers used to ooh and aah over their corsages ~~ my father would smile.  First, we would go to church, then visit Grandma Maggie, then drive 30 miles to visit Grandma Belle.

Holidays and special days were ALWAYS a time for family get-togethers.  I vaguely remember the real old-timers (my grandmothers' families and friends) ~~ it never occurred to me that I would ever get that old.  They walked with canes, had deep wrinkles, and wore funny clothes!  They even smelled different ~~ a combination of moth balls, rose water perfume, and Old Spice!

I left home at 17 to go to college and married at 19. I wasn't at home for very many Mother's Days after that.  I don't know if the buying of corsages continued.  I've learned that until I have experienced the loss, it's often times hard to completely understand what finality is.  I always called my mother and sent Mother's Day cards and flowers; but, looking back, I wonder if I hurt her heart.  She never said; I never asked.  Everyone who has family members scattered over the world can relate to what I am saying.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day.  I will miss my mother and my grandmothers.  I will miss the family get-togethers where the women gathered to celebrate motherhood.  As a child I thought that those family gatherings would go on forever.  As a child I thought that all the hoopla surrounding the flowers was so cool.  As a child, I smiled celebrating this day with church, lots of cousins, food, laughter and those beautiful corsages!  I had a sense of belonging, a sense of unity, a sense of what was beautiful and spoke to the heart.  I am grateful for those times.

Since I am a survivor of childhood trauma, you're probably wondering why I am writing about all the good things from my childhood.  I write about them because there were many good things as well as the bad.  Once I flushed the evil from my heart and mind and forgave my tormentors, I was free to move on.  I'll never forget because those awful memories spur me on to be a kind, gentle woman.  Because I keep the Lord as my center, I have been transformed by the renewing of my mind and spirit.  I am a miracle!!

I am smiling as I take my trip back to moth balls, rose water perfume, and Old Spice.  I am smiling remembering the carnation corsages.  I am smiling remembering climbing out of the car at each stop on Mother's Day and being greeted by relatives excited to see my family.  That's the good stuff life is made of!!  Those are the precious stories that need to be passed on from generation to generation.

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

PS  "If I had a flower for each time I thought of My Mother, I could walk in my garden forever."~~Unknown