Family & Courage!

Good Evening!  Grab a cup of coffee and let's settle in for a nice chat ... oops ... wait a minute, I need to put some logs on to take the chill off.  The sun is going down and although the snow is still on the ground, it still has been a nice day.


I have been trying to get the house back in order ... every year when I take all the decorations down, I take stock of what needs to be done in the house as far as repairs go as well as cleaning closets, drawers, painting, etc.  Gets to be quite a project!  We've lived in this house a little over 7 years ... oh my goodness, stuff just seems to multiply.  I'm a neat freak so when stuff gets more than I can handle, I know it's time to make some trips to Goodwill.  I am down to the office and that's the biggest hurdle I have to jump so I saved that for last.



I've been thinking about Family ... everywhere I go there seems to be pictures and sayings about family.  To look at our society, I wonder sometimes if we've forgotten what family is.  When I say that, I am often times reminded that "times have changed" and family has changed in it's members and how it operates as a unit.  For the immigrants coming to America, families and friends were often left behind.  To walk away from "home" to an unknown land must have been frightening.  For some in Debtor's Prison, it was an escape ... for others, an opportunity and a hope for newness of life.  I wonder if I would have had the courage to cross an ocean knowing I would never see my family again.  I was curious so I began digging...  I love understanding the story behind the story...

I am one half Norwegian and have often wondered why my ancestors left Norway.  I've been doing some research on life in Norway in the 1800's and was surprised to find how much turmoil was going on in Norway in that time.  Most people's lives were extremely difficult and, for the most part, the main reason they left was to try to get a better life for the family and especially to secure more opportunity for their children.  Almost all of the early emigration from Norway was composed of entire family groups which made sense in reading about the social system...if you were poor, your entire family was poor.  A few months ago, I thought of my ancestors as happy farmers who just decided to come to America.  Then, I began to read about the extreme poverty the average Norwegian faced in their home land.  I learned that when people are poor and everyone around them is poor, nobody thinks of themselves as poor until reality slaps them in the face.  My ancestors were just like everyone else and did what they could to keep going.  They had no other choice ... except maybe, just maybe there would be a better life somewhere else.  Their newspapers were flooded with news of opportunities and free land in this place called America.  All I have read makes my grandmother's teachings make sense ... the reason she wanted her children to be educated and speak proper English ... the reason she persevered under extreme duress ... the reason she so cherished her home and family.  I am sure my grandparents who came to America in 1951 were so happy to live in a land where they could better themselves and own their own land.  Here they were somebody and they were a proud people ... a humble people.

Tonight, I began to think about our nation now and the problems we are having.  Seems like the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.  Heard that one lately?  We have become slaves to our lifestyles and, believe it or not, history has a way of repeating itself.  The whole reason people came to America was "the dream."  You've heard it as "The American Dream." For immigrants, it was land and work.  Later on, it became a house, a car, a job, money in the bank.  We've sold ourselves out to credit cards and more is better.  If it feels good, do it?  The American Dream has become the American nightmare.  Where do we go from here?  Is our comfort zone the fact that misery loves company?  What is "the sign of the times?"

My 40 days of prayer have been enlightening!  God is really convicting me in so many areas and I am lovin' it!  Giving God the first fruits of my day has given me more peace.  Today, I was reading in Genesis about Joseph, a man of God and good character.  Like Joseph, what He has allowed into my life yesterday has helped prepare me for today, and what today brings will equip me for a better tomorrow.  Rather than get all scared about our nation and my own plight, I'm learning that if I do what I can each and every day and others do as well, we will survive ... our nation and our families.  It is a time to be courageous! In doing this blog, I am realizing that my past has been no accident  but rather a stretching, maturing series of events in God's sovereign plan for me.  I just need to be faithful and patient.

Good news, folks, Hamilton Elf and the nutcrackers are going to be out in 2011.  For some reason, I just couldn't put that little rascal in a cramped box and expect him to be set to go next Christmas season!  And, the nutcrackers are so pretty.  I placed The Jester next to my lap top.  When I write, he looks over my work ... I smile at him and my fingers strum over the keyboard!

It is now dark and time for this lady to head down the hall for a nice relaxing soak in the jetted tub.  That always makes my bones feel better.  Add a candle or two (or three) and my mood turns to mellow which leads to a good night's rest!  Hamilton Elf is already back in the guest room ... is that snoring I hear?!

My hope for you today is that you be courageous in whatever you do.  May your family be blessed with the newness of life that only God can bring.

"I will lie down  in peace and sleep, for though I am alone, O Lord, you will keep me safe."  ~~Psalm 4:8

Remember you are loved and prayed prayed for ... YA YOU!!  Each of my readers is so special to me.  Until tomorrow...





        



 

Truth or Consequences

Good Afternoon from the Winter Wonderland in North Texas!  I took Michael in to the city for his one week post surgery check up and I was wishing I had taken my camera with me.  It is still cold today and I felt like I was driving through a Winter Park!  I think when something becomes common place we take it for granted ... We only get snow a few times a year and sometimes only once so when we do, the world here stops to gaze upon it's beauty.  It is calming and warm fires and families spending uninterrupted time together are treasured.

As I began my day, I was talking to Hamilton Elf about how to approach the subject of truth or consequences.  He's a very good listener ... I paced the floor and talked.  Once I was talked out, he just looked at me with his sly little grin ... sometimes it's important just to have someone to talk to and in talking figure out things yourself.  Hamilton Elf helps me do that!

Going back to my childhood, I chose truth over the pain of what I might uncover.  I wanted to know no matter what.  The blank spaces in my childhood and as an adult haunted me and my reactions to certain people and events that caused me to disassociate and forget were stealing my life.  Was the truth about me what my parent's told me?  Was the truth about me what abusive men told me?  I didn't understand the "why" of some of the things I did .... it was almost like I was self-destructing.  I didn't believe what good people told me and chose to dwell on what evil doers said.  I didn't understand it and therapists didn't understand it.  Yet, it was so obvious...  I was trying so hard to please people that I couldn't please.  I was like a hamster on a wheel, running as fast as I could getting nowhere.

Tacitus said, "Men are more ready to repay an injury than a benefit, because gratitude is a burden and revenge a pleasure."  I have spent many an hour wondering why I was punished for a small offense when my actions of love were tipping the scale in abundance.  The truth is, who truly knows what goes on in the human mind ... and, I kept reliving my childhood with those who tormented me.  The consequences of being told over and over that I was worthless and a nobody took their toll on a little girl lost.  Since I didn't remember, my life should have been different but I didn't and therefore, the tapes of the subconscious ran constantly.

Now, truth is very important to me.  Why?  Because now I look at the character of the person who is speaking to me before putting my head on the chopping block.  When I have truth, I have the facts I need to make better decisions.  It also helps me to put my head down on the pillow at night and sleep soundly without worrying about untruth and worrying about what I have said or done that make me a liar.  I appreciate people who are honest with me even when it might hurt ... at least I am able to listen, digest the information and can either change or move on ... either way, I thank them.

Consequences?  You can see the chiminea in the photo to the left ... If I light a fire, the snow will melt and I can enjoy a roasted marshmellow on a winter day.  If I don't light a fire, I don't have the pleasure of savoring the fire crusted treat.  That's a simple analogy but I think you get my drift.  My life has been full of consequences some bad,  not so bad and some good.  The sad part is that I cannot go back in time to reclaim my childhood or most of my adulthood.  The consequences for abused children are carried forward forever and it is my plea that everyone know the signs to look for and not be afraid to speak up.  To pretend they don't exist doesn't work because as parents, grandparents, friends, teachers...we are supposed to protect their young minds and preserve their childhoods.  I have found blessing and love in the Winter of my life.  There are good consequences of a life lived in the light and with honor ... of being free to choose ... to be around people who fill me with encouragement and life and who appreciate me for who I am.  I am strong yet weak; firm yet yielding and ready to listen; an outdoors person who creates inviting indoor spaces; a Christian who is committed to serving her Lord; and, a woman who loves her family and fellow travelers on this road of life!  I am grateful for how far I've come and I believe the quote by Khalil Gibran:  "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls.  The most massive characters are seared with scars."  A BIG AMEN!!

In the 1940's the show Truth or Consequences popped up on radio and was an instant hit.  It went on to become one of the most watched TV shows in the nation.  Do you remember "Beulah the Buzzer"?  When Bob Barker became the emcee of the show, he always signed off with this quote:  "Hoping all your consequences are happy ones!"  I want to extend those wishes to you on this Wintery evening in January, 2011.

Hamilton Elf has decided to take up residence in the guest room.  His eyes were drooping and he started dropping his toys on the floor ... I'm tired too, and think I will close down shop for the evening!  Talk with you tomorrow.  Until then, remember that all our thoughts and actions have consequences.  Some can be fixed and some can't...   

Winter 2011

Oh my goodness, what a beautiful Winter day we are having in North Texas!  The snow is falling in big fluffy flakes and our yard looks like a picture out of a book!  The dogren want to go out every few minutes and chase the snowflakes and play tug of war with their toys.  The snow will be gone soon so I am enjoying every moment.  Aren't the berries beautiful on the Yaupon Holly tree?!

Snow in Texas is such a treat!  It's a time when the kids can get out and build snowmen and life just seems to stop while we all look in awe at the beauty around us.  Being born and raised in Minnesota, I remember the severe cold and, at times, blizzards.  It's something you get used to and the blood thickens...  In the little city where I was raised, Winter was a time of ice fishing, skating, skiing and in later years, snowmobiling.  I loved ice fishing and driving around on the lake but as for skating and skiing, let's just say, I wasn't too good at ... gave it a good try though.  The city poured an ice skating rink in the fairgrounds area and built a huge warming house.  Now, having a huge stove in the middle of a room wouldn't be allowed because of the danger of a child falling into the stove.  No one ever did when I was a child though ... guess we knew enough to hang out mittens by the stove but stay far enough away to not get burned.  My family included some pretty famous skiers and people came from far and wide to ski down the gigantic ski slope.

I am on day 25 of my 40 days of prayer ... Be angry and sin not.

"Other things may change us, but we start and end with family."~~Anthony Brandt

The subject of anger was such an important part of my recovery as a childhood trauma survivor.  I was afraid of anger and angry people yet I was angry as a child at times and as an adult.  I didn't connect my abuse with the anger; however, when I went through trauma counseling, I found that anger is common in children and adults who have been abused.  What I needed to learn was to get angry at the source of my anger, get it all out, then start the healing process.  Now, I am in the refinement stage of moving on and addressing my anger as it comes up.

Home is a place of safety from the storms of life!

When tension and/or conflict arises in my life, my focus isn't on whether I am right but that God is right.  James 3:16 says that strife opens the door for every evil work.  As an adult, when distressed, I go back to the time when the conflict first occurred and look at my part.  In that place, I have learned to repent of anything I did that contributed to the strife and speak death to the crop of dissension I sowed.  God will not ask me how the other person handled the altercation, He will, for sure, ask me how I handled it.   As a child, it was different in dealing with anger ... I was a victim ... a child whose innocence was taken from me.  I had to stop saying it was my fault and realize that I was in survival mode and dealt with abuse by disassociating.  Ever seen a little one with fists a flying?  That's frustration and hurt.

The Beauty of Winter

The snow is beautiful and creates a tranquil picture.  The snow can also be a wild storm taking man and beast down in it's fury.  Anger that produces change for the better ... that exposes the secrets of the perpetrator, can be so welcome.  On the flip side, anger that causes bitterness, deceitfulness and things that are intended to hurt another person is sin.   Wisdom dictates that I examine my own motives.  To understand means that many small issues aren't worth being angry about.  Now, when strife rears it's ugly head I choose to humble myself and be silent.  No one can make me angry.  If I am angry it is because I have chosen to be angry and because a root of anger is already resident in me.  My course of action is to respond as Jesus did:

"Wherefore my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath."~~James 1:19

Hamilton Elf had to get out and enjoy the snow today too!  He was sitting on the dining room table looking out the window.  Somehow I knew he wanted to get in on the action outside.  He did find a place next to the fountain that he liked and willingly posed for a photo.  Do you think I am procrastinating putting him away for his nap?

Hamilton Elf and I are signing off at 5:00pm Texas time and are leaving you with this thought: 

"It has been said that time heals all wounds.  I do not agree.  The wounds remain.  In time, the mind, protecting it's sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone."~~Rose Kennedy

Wherever you are ... whatever you're doing ... remember that you are loved and prayed for ... I pray that my blog in 2011 will reach your hearts and souls and that you will know that you aren't alone on this journey we call life.

  

A Texas January Friday

Good Morning, Readers!  And, it is a good morning here at our home.  Grab a cup of coffee and let's settle in for a morning chat!  Michael is up and moving around with ease and getting stronger each day.  We are so grateful for modern medicine.  He is soooo glad to be able to walk upright without shooting pain.

 

A.W. Tozer wrote, "Prayer is not learned by rote; it is experienced.  Just talk and listen.  It's no more difficult than that." Being brought up in the Lutheran Church in Minnesota, there was a lot of memorization before being confirmed into the church.  I am grateful for that time as it gave me a solid foundation.  It wasn't until I joined a non-denominational church in Plano, Texas that I began talking to God several times a day.  There are times, though, when I miss the ceremoniousness of the Lutheran Church and can replay the services in my mind with a big smile on my face.  I didn't understand being born again to the newness of God ... I had been baptized as a baby and thought there was no need for another baptism.  However, God had other plans and I was baptized in the pool in my own backyard and oh what a party that was!!  We turned our backyard into heaven with Tiki torches, music, and had lots of delicious food to eat.  Best of all, I was surrounded by nearly 100 friends cheering me on!  Yee Haw!  Who says Christians are boring?!
 

Wild Child!

 Because "my way" has always been a little different, I always gave in to the beliefs of others thinking mine was flawed.  Now, I march to the tune of my own drum and celebrate my uniqueness.  Oh my goodness, the first time I raised holy hands, my knees shook.  What would the people around me say.  Good grief ... they could have cared less.  Funny how we think everyone is just sitting around judging us!  At 64, I've learned to take serious things seriously but not to take myself so seriously!  Being able to laugh at my own mistakes and quirkiness makes for a fun day rather than fussing and fuming over people or things that I have no control over.
 

During my 40 days of prayer, I have been praying for divine revelation in several areas ... one being the subject matter of my blogs.  My purpose in starting my blog was to walk down the road of life encouraging other to come along with me.  There is always hope in the worst of circumstances.  So many nights I have cried myself to sleep wondering how things could possibly get any worse.  Now, looking back, I realize that life is a series of peaks and valleys.  There is the birth of a child and the passing of a loved one.  The circle of life...  I am not a polished writer.  I write to the common man in a language that is easy to understand.  My hope is that my readers will think about what I say and know that they aren't alone in their plight whatever that might be.  There's not much I haven't experienced in my life...

I have reached a point in life that has been hard to accept because I have had to be dependent on others.  From the time I was very tiny, I learned to take care of myself.  Although, I was small of stature, I was smart, strong and very savvy in the business world.  Even though my heart would be bleeding, I could put a smile on my face and do what I needed to do.  Those around me looked at me as the rock.  At every low point, I would pick myself up and start over without skipping a beat.  It's funny, in 2002, I had stopped dying my hair and needed to go back to a full time job.  I applied at several companies and at one, they slipped and said, "You are such a cute little grandma."  I was looked at like I was a sweet little lady too old to be in the work force!  Good grief ... God intervened when I was in the Women's Shelter and one of my client's at Jenny Craig said that I had been so good to her that she wanted to redo my hair color.  I needed to change my appearance so I took her up on her offer.  I had a job within two weeks!  It was a big ego boost but with that hair came a $150 a month price tag!  Augh......Our society is so youth based...  Now, I work with my grey hair and wear it proudly.  At 64 ... I am one of those baby boomers that got hit hard by the stock market drop a few years ago and am trying to make retirement more than just sitting in a rocking chair looking at the grass grow.  Maybe the world needs another Grandma Moses?!  Or another writer who has been inspired by Hamilton Elf?

 

Toby and Sadie are beckoning me to go outside and play.  They love to roll in the grass and chase bugs and an occasional rabbit!  I have been putting away Christmas decorations .... slowly, I might add.  Michael is making me a to do list ... I am not a shopper so he has to remind me when it's time to get in Lily and make the rounds ending at the grocery store!


As I sign off today, I want to throw out a quote written by Francois de la Rochefoucauld:  "We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves."  Lots of food for thought!!
 

You have a great day and we'll talk tomorrow.  Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

   

  

 

The Victor

Good Afternoon and welcome to my world in North Texas!  I've started taking down the Christmas decorations today.  Michael wants me to leave up the tree in the den for another week.  I must admit the lights are so beautiful in the evenings.  I am tempted to leave the nutcrackers out this year ... will just have to see as I dig through my accessory boxes!



Nap Time

Michael is doing remarkedly well after his back surgery last Tuesday.  He's sore but free of the nerve pain.  He'll definitely be ready to go back to work next week!  We were just amazed at how God went before us during this whole process!  We walked into Dr. C.'s office last Monday at 9am and by 2:30 pm Michael had had xrays, an examination, an MRI, and hospital prep for surgery set for 9am on Tuesday.  Dr. C. and his staff really stepped up to the plate to intervene on what could have been a pretty nasty situation.  We are grateful!  One thing about living in the Dallas metroplex, there are so many fabulous doctors and hospitals.  At our age, that is important!

The mind is an amazing organ with all it's nooks and crannies.  I'm sure you've heard the saying, "As a man thinketh, so is he."  We tend to seek out people who we feel comfortable with and who tell us what we want to hear.  The problem with that is that our thinking can often times be skewed which is where "stinkin' thinkin'" comes from.   We tend to hear what we want to hear.  As an abuse survivor, I yearned to hear words of affirmation and to be treated with respect and kindness.  The problem was that the people who did offer that, I didn't believe.  I would think, "they just don't know how bad a person I really am."  It was difficult for me even to believe God.  Well, guess what?  What I thought I was, I received.  Some years ago, I read the poem, The Victor, written by C.W. Longenecker.  It must have meant something even then, because I cut it out and kept it in my "positive thinking" box.  The good news was that there was a side of me that was stubborn and persistent and somehow I knew that my thinking was wrong...  As Psalm 23 says, "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil."  I had to find it within me to seek truth and, yes, that truth did set me free.  I do want to share this with you because maybe, just maybe, it's something you need to hear as much as I did...

The Victor by: C. W. Longenecker
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you like to win but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will.
It’s all in the state of mind.
If you think you are out classed, you are.
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of your-self before
You can ever win the prize.
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can

On January 1, 2011, I started a new  year hoping that God would bless my family and I as well as my friends and fellowman.  I had started the 40 days of 40 minutes of prayer and was finding newness of purpose.  As I was praying for others, I could see how my prayers were being answered.  I knew without a doubt that God was working behind the scenes to makes changes in people's lives and heal them from adversities and illnesses.  It is January 6th, and I am a little over half way through the study.  On the flip side ... Oh my goodness, I have had stressors coming at me from all directions in the past couple days.  I totally understand why people want to quit praying when Satan starts his antics and messing with our lives.  Yesterday, I had to ask for prayer from family and friends because I was really feeling the pain throughout my mind and body.  Spiritually, I was being stripped...  Having Fibromyalgia is tough in and of itself so I was like the cat hanging from the branch with his claws.  I was uplifted by so many and as evening set, I was able to sleep restfully.  I opened one eye and then the other this morning ... sure enough I was still here and a new day dawning.  I had a choice to make and I made it ... I got up and gave God the first fruits of my day!  From there, I started taking down Christmas decorations and prepared a wonderful lunch (from scratch) for Michael.  Sadie and Toby were wrestling with each other and I felt God's hand reach for mine.  I know not what tomorrow will bring but for today, I am okay.  We all struggle with life .... all of us.

I have a friend, Kelly, who is a missionary in Costa Rica.  I read her blog today and it really hit me.  Most everything we go through is so "self" centered.  Yet, I am learning in my 40 days of prayer that we need to be more "other" centered.  Her neighbor lives in a barn ... yep, the little boy doesn't even have a bed to sleep in.  Gave me a new  perspective on how much I really do have.  For so many, survival is a need for a roof over our heads and food in our bellies ... from there everything else is icing on the cake.  Kelly, reads my blogs so I want to say to her that God truly is working in and through her as she ministers to others.  Life is not fair but that's the way life has always been.   Our wants have become our needs...  I say this because I have been convicted so many times of this and as I pray each day, I have even more been reminded of what I need to be doing for others.

I took a walk in my gardens today...we've had some hard freezes and it's showing on my tropical plants.  Tomorrow, I will be needing to do a little watering and trimming.  I love doing that ... pretty is important to me and I am so taken by the flowers and Winter colors!  It's supposed to be warm for a few more days then brrrr, quite cold.  Time to wrap up the faucets.  Please no more broken water pipes!  I broke my nippers so will need to make a trip to one of my favorite stores ... Lowe's!

Figured I would feature Hamilton Elf one more time before he takes a 10 or 11 month nap.  I will miss him a lot!  He has been such a good listener and has made me laugh on my blue days.  He may need to come out to pose for some sketches which will be fun!

I am off to finish up boxing up the Christmas decorations in the kitchen.  Things are starting to look a little on the bare side.

In signing off, I pray that you will show some of God's love to those around you.

Always remember that you are loved and prayed for  ... YA YOU!!

     

What lies within us...Happy New Year!

It's almost midnight on January 3, 2011.  Happy New Year!  My new year has started out with a lot of craziness.  How about yours?






It's late and I'm tired but feel the need to jot down some things that have been going through my mind.  One of my favorite TV shows is Criminal Minds and tonight I watched several in a row that really got to me.  I am always so surprised at what we as human beings are capable of doing to our fellowman.  On the show, most often when they profile a criminal they mention abuse as a child.  Our minds no matter how young we are keep closely guarded everything that is done and said to us.  If you don't believe me, think about a catchy commercial you see and hear on TV.  Do you all of a sudden remember it or start humming the tune?  I do...  Every now and then, I get an email where you finish sentences ... "Everything tastes better with ______  ______ on it...  Of course, the answer is Blue Bonnet.  Jingles sell!  Porn sells!  As people, we need way more positives than negatives or the negative takes over our hearts, minds, and souls.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote some of the most memorable quotes.  My favorite is:  "What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us."  I used to have this quote typed up and on one of the walls of my office or cube.   I was born "me" and although the past wasn't fair and the future has not come, my "me" is within in and that core will never change.  As a child and as an adult, I went through some horrible bouts with anger ... I truly know that I faced many a "Y" on the road of life.  I could have been one evil, horrible person or, as I chose repeatedly, an empathetic, forgiving woman of God.  The thoughts in my mind sometimes would frighten me when dealing with an abusive person.  I have heard people say that they would "never" do so and so...  Well, until you walk in someone's shoes, you don't know do you?  The hair on the back of my neck stands up when I think about abuse done to men, women, and children by evil people.  I also thank God every day that, with his help, I could move forward with dignity and faith.



Nicholas



Zachary

 My son and his family came over early morning on January 1, 2011 in their jammies for breakfast and a post Christmas ... New Year's celebration.  It really was one of those wonderful moments where I could prepare the food and just sit back and smile.  I cherished every word of conversation, laughed at every fun joke and my little grandsons were at the top of their game in celebrating being brothers at Christmas!  They bring joy wherever they are and whatever they do!



Michael

My husband, Michael, was picking up his briefcase on December 27 and popped his back.  The pain gradually got worse until this past weekend when he was unable to go any longer.  I took him to the ER where they gave him some pain meds to last him until today when he had an appointment with Dr. C.  We were in the doctor's office at 9:00 this morning and by 2:30 this afternoon, Michael had had a physical examination, regular xrays, an MRI, pre-surgery consultation, and was pre-admitted to Baylor Hospital.  I had been praying for Michael during my 40 days of prayer and, although the Lord didn't answer my prayers by healing him, He went before us and paved the way for a smooth day.  Michael will be having back surgery as an outpatient and should be back to work in a week to a week and a half.  Dr. C also picked up on some other odd symptoms and was going to follow up with Michael's primary care MD.  Michael will be so glad to have the pinched nerve taken care of!!  Looks like I will be playing nurse for a couple more weeks!

God will not send us where He cannot sustain us.  Amen!  I figure that He has not brought me to this place in time simply to abandon me in the midst of my circumstance.  I am halfway through my 40 days of 40 minutes of prayer.  Life has gotten in the way many a day and it's been tough to keep my covenant.  I am learning so much about grace and forgiveness and I am soooo convicted that I have a long way to go in my journey of life.  It is so neat to think about what He is doing behind the scenes in my behalf.  Yea!

One day at a time, let's do this year together!  Always remember that you are loved and prayed for ... YA You!

 

2 Days to Ringing In the New Year!

Come on in out of the wind and sit a spell.  It's supposed to be in the low 70's today.  Woo Hoo!

On January 1, 2011 at 12:01am you can toss this year's calendar.  No doubt it is has served you well, but it is virtually worthless now that 2010 has run it's course.  Gotta get all my birthdays and special events entered ... I live by that crazy day timer!

While this year's days and weeks may be history, the steps of growth I have taken are my legacy.  My priorities have changed, my attitude towards people and life has improved, and my handicaps are less frightening.  I've learned to be faithful and fruitful in my life ... to do the best I can ... and, to be on call when needed.

Is life the way I want it to be?  Absolutely not ... I have learned to be content with where I am yet always moving forward.  I take nothing for granted!  I tell my story from my own point of view and take responsibility for my choices.  Oh, some of the consequences have had sharp edges and I wondered at times if I could go one step forward ... then, I did take that next step.  I have spent so many years being the perfect everything to everyone until one day it just clicked ... I am one person on this road of life with no map or directions.  I am a work in progress and that is OK.

I have thought a lot about the little casa the past few days.  I have missed spending time there and visiting with Mom S.  Our little get a way was almost finished when a fluke of a cracked water pipe set the renovations back a couple months.  The kitchen cabinets are now in and Lupe and his worker bees are hard at work doing the water damage repairs and prepping for the cabinets.  We are so fortunate ... the original wood floors have survived another deep sanding!  Yea!  This project has taught me a lot about patience and even more about dealing honestly with people.  Sometimes, in life, we just have to start over!

My garden is alive with Winter color.  I'm always sad when the trees lose their leaves and the gardens look so barren.  I decided to do a little research on shrubs that offer Winter color and planted a few.  So far so good...

As I gaze at my garden I love to "wool gather."  I was talking with someone the other day and we were discussing sincerity. "Perhaps you've heard about the man who took what he sincerely thought was aspirin.  Unfortunately, he was sincerely wrong and he became sincerely dead." (From The Daily Walk Bible)  So many of us do or say something with sincerity only to find out that we were wrong.  What then?  Do we blame, cover up, make excuses?  Sorry to say, I've been guilty of all of the above.  Actions can be sincere  but when they were sincerely wrong, they're still wrong.  I am grateful that I believe in a God of second chances and have learned to stand up, knees shaking, and say, "I'm sorry."  Sometimes, it's received and sometimes it hasn't been.  But...in doing my part, I can rest in peace.  My conscience works overtime you know!!  Throw back from my days of having to be that perfect little girl ... Perfectness is OUT THE DOOR for me in 2011.

God made me a free spirit with a love for people ... all kinds of people.  My mother was afraid of black people and sometimes I would cringe when she spoke so hatefully of them.  I think because there were so few African Americans where she (and myself as well) grew up that they were just different.  When I left home at 17, I was introduced to a world of different ethnic groups and grew to love them all.  In fact, my nickname of Dottie was given to be by a Hispanic lady that I worked with at the hospital in Arizona.  She taught me to like Mexican food (we cooked tortillas in the autoclaves!) and her faith was so amazing to me.  So many of the people who worked at the hospital were Hispanic or Indian and so gracious to a gringo from the north country.  I was way too skinny for them and they were always trying to fatten me up.  My daughter was born on the shift that I worked and, oh my goodness, did she ever get a welcoming party.  As much as I thought that Yuma, Arizona was the armpit of the world, I was sad to leave there in 1968.  Why?  I was so loved there!

As this year comes to a close is there some love you need to spread around?  It only takes a minute to send a card, make a phone call or give someone a smile and hug.  I will end this year with:

"May God who gives patience, steadiness, and encouragement help you to live in complete harmony with each other  -- each with the attitude of Christ toward the other.  And then all of us can praise the Lord together with one voice, giving glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."~~Romans 15:5-6

I will be getting ready tomorrow for the post Christmas/New Years pajama party here on New Year's Day...  What a great way to start the New Year ... Family and a whole lot of love!!  I am signing off for this year and looking forward to next years challenges and gifts!

Happy New Year to all of you who have followed my blog so faithfully.  Keep tuned ... let's take on life together!  Oh yes, how could I forget???  You are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!

            



Happy New Year from my Texas grandkids ...
 Nicholas, Brittany, Ryan, and Zachary!!
What a blessing & inspiration
they are to me!!