When life's not fair...

January 11, 2015
Sunday

Dear Readers,

It's very dark outside tonight and quite cold. I wrapped a blanket around me as I made my way from the house to the cottage. My furry kids didn't seem to mind the wind; and, zoom, they were going in 5 different directions to tend to their business. I stood in the door, waiting for them and before long, they came sauntering in ready to dive into their warm beds by the fireplace. Gosh! I love those little rascals. It gives me peace to write and look at them nestled in for the night.

My girls are a bonded pair and love to sleep right next to each other. They've come such a long way in adjusting to life outside a cage. All the steps to rehabilitate them have been worth the effort. Their former life wasn't fair but now their lives are filled pawrents who love them and provide for their every need. Yay! 

Oh goodness, on to another not fair moment in time. The Cowboys lost a crucial football game today. I couldn't get the game on our TV but did listen to the last quarter on the radio. When Dez Bryant caught the controversial pass, I thought the game would end in a Cowboy victory. The officials ruled the pass incomplete to the complete shock of the fans, players, and radio announcers. The Packers won the game. My daughter is a Cowboys fan and my son a Packers fan. I'm sure they had a great time watching the game separately together! Competition is good!

For sure, life isn't fair but it is life. We can moan and groan but life moves forward and our emotional temperature must come into line with what is, is. To become bitter, whine, and complain does no one any good. The crux of the matter is that the rule needs to be changed and I hope they do that. As for today, losing that way sucks!!

So many times in my own lifetime, I've cried out, "God this isn't fair." When I did, I reminded myself that Jesus endured death for us (and, it sure as heck wasn't a fair call for him!) so that even in the face of our darkest hours we would be able to live with hope, strength, and courage. We cannot allow those times of disappointment, hurt, and sorrow to rob us of the beautiful life that God has planned for us. We have the opportunity to choose to live and experience and receive the wonderful grace, blessings, and love of the Father.

2015 has been a great year so far and I am claiming a year of good health, financial stability, and a growing exponentially spiritually. I did not write down my goals this year on paper. I kept them to a few and wrote them on my heart. For me, that meant more than a "to do" list. I don't have to do anything ~ I want to be better.

When I visited with my daughter in Christ a week ago Sunday, she gave me a message from the Lord. I totally embraced it and immediately was filled with joy. Oh, I know, some of you are saying, "Hmmm, message from God, huh?" Well yes, she was praying as an intercessor on my behalf and God gave her a scripture to pass on to me.

This was my message from Isaiah 43:15-19: "I am the LORD, your Holy One. Israel's Creator, your King. This is what the LORD says ~ he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, who drew out the chariots and horses, the army and reinforcements together, and they lay there, never to rise again, extinguished, snuffed out like a wick: Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

This made perfect sense to me because it confirmed a vision I have had. Have you ever had recurring dreams that you weren't sure what they meant? I get them when I am teeter-tottering back and forth about "what to do." Often times, I pray for confirmation and then just listen and wait. Sometimes I get an answer right away and then, sometimes, I have to wait several years. Patience ... the Lord has been teaching me, a very impatient person, patience!

My baby blues are starting to feel heavy and it's time for lights out. Tomorrow is another day ... a new beginning!

Miss Dottie

PS "It's all right to tell a man to lift himself by his own bootstraps, but it is cruel to say to a bootless man that he ought to lift himself by his own bootstraps." ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Think about that for awhile today. Who do you know who needs some uplifting, help, and encouragement. Just maybe that person needs new boots!!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU ... every single one of you!!

Surprise!!

January 4, 2015
Sunday

Dear Readers,

Last night, I was wrapping up my day and about to head to bed. I heard the text buzzer on my phone and decided to give a look since it was so late. It was my precious daughter in Christ, Melissa. She was in Dallas visiting her brother (Michael) and family and (apologizing for the lateness) wanted to know if there was some chance we could meet. We texted back and forth with me explaining that Michael worked Sunday and I had no transportation. I told her I would pray about it and get back with her early today.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:6-7

Melissa and I connected when she was an 18 year old girl trying to find her way. She needed the arms of a mother and I became Dottie Mom. Together we established the group Need A Friend? Be A Friend. Looking back, I realize that it was then that I began to enjoy blogging ~ then called a newsletter of encouragement for the group.

Melissa married, moved to the east coast, Kansas City, then to Georgia. As often times happens, life got busy for both of us and we lost track of each other. The last time I saw Melissa was  over 12 years ago on a trip back to Texas from Minnesota. She had 2 children and had just miscarried twins. Some months ago, she found me on Facebook and we connected as though we had never been apart. She now has 4 beautiful children and a full exciting life!

Melissa & Isabella

As I prayed, I asked the Lord to guide me in finding a way to see her. When Michael woke up, I told him about the texts and that I needed to make this trip. I told him I could leave early, stay only a couple hours, and be back so he could go to work ~ it was doable and I was on my way. The miles seemed to zip by and, in no time, I was pulling up to Michael's and Amy's home. The door opened and there stood this petite, beautiful woman with the biggest grin on her face. Her brother, Michael, was right behind her and we were all doing the happy dance and hugging. I looked down and there was this sweet little girl peeking around her mom ~ Isabella. My heart was melting!

Melissa & her youngest child, Christiano

It was like time gone by had no significance ~ our connection was immediate and there was this rush of joy that nearly swept me off my feet. I had enough time to catch up with Michael and Amy (and their son Max), and reconnect with my precious God-given child. We shared a sumptuous lunch (shrimp tortilla soup with lime, greek salad, and bread pudding), Isabella drew me a beautiful picture (explaining the meaning), and Melissa and I climbed up on Michael and Amy's bed to truly catch up and pray together.

What a whirlwind trip yet one I will keep in my heart forever. Pastor Gerald says that people go where they are invited and stay where they feel welcome. Well, I was invited and I felt the joy of just being in their presence. Amy, Michael and Melissa have the gift of hospitality and made me feel like the most special person in the world. Melissa has been given the gift of prophesy and had a message she delivered to me. Funny, how God just cemented some visions I had been having for a few months now. Her texts were no accident and our meeting ordained by the Lord.

To truly know joy, I've needed to know sadness and desperation. To experience the deepness of love, I needed to experience rejection and hurt. I am nearly at a loss for words trying to condense all the emotions I am feeling at this moment. I could chatter on and on and on...

Each day in 2015 has been more special than the one before it. I go to sleep wondering what treasures God has in store for me in the morning. I am reading my Bible and the words are leaping from the pages! Life is good...

If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?

But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door;

it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.

~Genesis 4:7 (NIV)

I have gone through many different seasons of life and have met and developed relationships with some of the most wonderful people on earth. I have been mentored and have done mentoring. I see the fruits of seeds planted so many years ago ... in Melissa, I see an explosion of light, truth, and love. I cannot wait to see what the Lord is going to do next in her life! Her children are living examples of her belief that good character and a personal relationship with Jesus come first then education and sports. Madeline is gifted and most likely headed for a law degree; Anthony is gifted and headed for a career as an Olympic soccer player; and, the babies, Bella and Christiano? Well, unless I miss my guess, Bella is destined to follow in her mom's footsteps in ministry and Christiano? Right now he's just lovin' being a little boy!


We have so many opportunities to touch lives and truly give to those around us. If we only do for those who can do for us, we miss out on the fruits down the road of life. I may not be rich in dollars and cents but I am the wealthiest woman alive when it comes to investing in the people who have shared my journey.

The fire is drawing me in tonight. I have stopped typing every now and then just to stare into the dancing flames. To embrace life means living in the moment and making those moments count. This year, I am heightening my senses and filling my spiritual and emotional gas tank. The old is no more and I am looking out for that little girl inside me who wants to come out and play!!

Miss Dottie

PS  "Dance. Smile. Giggle. Marvel. TRUST. HOPE. LOVE. WISH. BELIEVE. Most of all enjoy every moment of the journey, and appreciate where you are at this moment instead of always focusing on how far you have to go." ~Mandy Hale

Genesis, The Beginning

The Anchor Holds

January 3, 2015

Dear Readers,

We had thunder and heavy rain throughout the night. My furry kids normally do not react nervously but they did last night. It was loud in the cottage as the rain pelleted the roof while thunder booms bounced off the walls. I had four pups stick to me like glue until the storm was over.

My gardens are getting a good soaking which will make for beautiful growth and flowers in the Spring. Now that Christmas and New Year's Eve have passed, I'm ready for warm weather!! Time to get out the tubs and do my deep cleaning...

All is right in my world today. I began the new year thinking about what I wanted to accomplish and it seemed so overwhelming. Then, I realized that each day would take care of itself. I just needed to show up and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

     I have all the time I need to do all that God intends me to do this year!

I hadn't realized how much of a hermit I had become and how depression was starting to set in. Normally, I am a very organized, energetic person and was becoming ... well, to be honest, kind of a slob! I'd recognized some signs of burn-out and knew that I needed to start moving in more of a positive direction or I would become comfortable in living in my own little world in the cottage and growing old ... just taking up space. (That's a scary thought!)

Kennedy's foster mom, Laura, stopped by this afternoon for a quick visit. Kennedy was so excited to see her. He lived with her a very long time before he came to Seidler Dogdom and was beyond happy to see her. She's such a beautiful person ~ inside and out ~ and, I'm so grateful we have stayed in touch and have become friends. She was also Zeke's foster mom so we shared the sorrow of his passing. I must say, she did approve of little Finn and gave me some tips on training him.  Laura was amazed at how far the little Poms (Harmony and Ruffles) had come in their rehabilitation into normal life after being breeders so so many years.

I picked up my Daily Walk Bible this morning and began my trip through Genesis. It's a new year so why not start at the beginning. Each year I read the same pages but something different strikes me every time I start over. What hit me this morning was that the earth was a shapeless, chaotic mass and God was brooding over the dark vapors. In Chapter 1, Verse 3 God said let there be light and light appeared.

In John 8:12 Jesus says, "I am the light of the world." Notice that the light is created in verse 3, yet the source of light, our sun, is not created until verse 16. The Light was in existence before the source of light had been created. Jesus Christ is the Light and He was there from the beginning. In John 8:38, Jesus says, "Before Abraham was, I am."

Stay with me ... there was darkness and chaos. Without God intervention, there was a mess to contend with. When God got involved there was light. I thought about my own life. Without the truth and light that God brought to my being, I was living in inner turmoil and chaos. I had periods of peace and happiness but there were the underlying tapes of darkness that disturbed my soul and created havoc in my life.

Did you know that most people prefer to remain in darkness rather than seeking truth, light, and moving on? The mind is complex and what is traumatic can be distorted until it can be tolerated. I still cannot see the face of my first tormentor but I can see the place and I can hear my cries. I yearn to know the truth and have done everything possible to uncover it. My childhood trauma therapist said that God would allow me to "see" and "know" when I could handle it. I have journaled for years simply because I wanted to keep track of reality. (The mind has a way of distorting truth) It's been freeing!

Today, I read through the first nine chapters of Genesis aloud. Besides entertaining the Fantastic Five, it allowed me to slow down and digest the words. God was speaking; I was speaking his words; and, at the end, I began to really hear what it was He was saying. In just 9 chapters, I traveled from creation to the flood ... that's a lot of territory!

Like Noah, God did not bring me to this point in life, to abandon me. I've been building this ark (my faith ~ one step at a time) and, no matter what life throws at me, I will be safe. The Anchor Holds ... yes He does!!!

Hey, I'm excited about 2015... I am excited to get more involved with my church family. I am excited to try some new plants in my gardens and cheer on the seedlings planted the past few years. I am excited to move beyond what has kept me captive using my creativity. I'm ready to tackle more demons and flush them down the toilet!!

As for you, my precious Readers, I wish you life, love, and the joy that comes from knowing Jesus as your own personal savior. I pray for you and wrap my arms about you ... YA YOU ... every single one of you across the globe. I offer you hope and encouragement as you take my hand. Maybe you're fighting some demons yourself. At any rate, you're not alone no matter what you're dealing with!

Miss Dottie

PS As the days bright forth light, I hope, like me, you will embrace them and fill them with love and kindness.

"Another fresh new year is here...

Another year to live!

To banish worry, doubt, and fear,

To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me

To live each day with zest...

To daily grow and try to be

My highest and my best!

I have an opportunity

Once more to right some wrongs,

To pray for peace, to plant a tree,

And sing more joyful songs!"

~William Arthur Ward

The old is gone...

Song: The Old Man is Dead

January 1, 2015

Dear God,

 "Though no one can go back and make a brand-new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending." ~Carl Bard

Happy New Year! My friend, Bud, mentioned this song (The Old Man is Dead) on a Facebook post. I'd never heard it before so I decided to listen to it. I googled UTube, put in the name of the song, and picked the first one that came up. I truly believe there are no such things are coincidences ... Bud was meant to mention the song, I was meant to listen to it, and, there was my theme for 2015. The old man/woman is dead.

I've never had a problem with addictions; however, I have been attracted to people that do. Maybe it's because I enjoy life so much and people with addictions can be quite charming, fun, and good conversationalists. I spent quite a few years in the Alanon program and taught the 12 Steps (which I recommend highly for those dealing with many different issues in life). I still think of the slogans when I am faced with challenges; i.e., "Let go and let God."

Terrace, Minnesota

For several days at the end of December, I'd been meditating on Psalms 31:3: For You are my rock and my fortress; For Your name's sake You will lead me and guide me. I would say this verse aloud then be very still allowing my mind to just wander through the paths in a forest of many trees, rivers, and waterfalls. I was in a desert for a long while but now? I am standing among fresh new life ... the old woman of 2014 is dead replaced by a vibrant woman of purpose and direction! How about that?! 2014 had been a year to examine and REFRESH but boy howdy, I was glad to see it end!

I am realizing that relationships require time spent together in meaningful conversation and touch. (Yep, I'm a hugger!) Without that, how would I know about what has transpired in that person's life to make them who they are in the present. Last September my graduating class had a reunion. Since I haven't attended in some years, I still think of my classmates as they were when I knew them growing up. It was sort of a shock to look at the CD of photos and realize that, like me, they had matured and lived a lifetime of events. I know that in my heart, I am the same as I was as a girl; however, life's experiences have deepened my faith, my scars have given me a value for life, and my quest in search of serenity has been filled with peaks and valleys.

"Superficial" is not a good word in my vocabulary. I love REAL people who have lived REAL lives. I want to know their stories. Lord, you have a plan for all of us and the only thing I've come to truly believe is that we go through the peaks and valleys of life for a reason and that reason is to extend a hand to others who follow behind us going through the same thing. HOPE ... there is always hope! I am living proof of that!!

Father God, I pray for my church family, my family of believers, my Readers, my family of origin, and my country. I pray that you would touch the lives of those sitting on the fence wondering if You are real. Where there is need, I pray for a filling ... where there is illness, I pray for healing ... where there is depression, let there be an uplifting. I pray for miracles ... miracles that draw your people close to your heart. I know that everything is Father-filtered and that if you bring us to "it," you will bring us through "it." I pray for the caretakers ~ grant them an extra measure of patience and strength! Come alongside of me dear Jesus, lead me and guide me as I blog in 2015. Today, I feel that wonderful sense of peace and majestic wonder. Amen, it is so!!

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS: As I begin 2015, I like to reiterate my blog purpose ... my blog is a compilation of my own experiences, thoughts, ideas, and ideals. There are some Readers who totally disagree with my philosophies and my Christian beliefs. That's okay... There are some Readers who are comforted knowing that if I made it though those murky waters, they can as well. I hold out my hand and invite you to share my life and my journey. Feel free to comment on my blogs. Most of all, always remember that I love you and am praying for you ... YA YOU!!

Christmas 2014

December 27, 2014
Saturday

Good Morning Lord!

It's mighty chilly and rainy here in North Central Texas ~ a perfect day to stay in with the Fantastic 5, do a little blogging, praying, and preparing for the new year just ahead.

Come on in and sit a spell. I always enjoy sharing a cup of coffee with you. You have a way of warming up my spirits and getting me focused on my purpose. (I have a way of getting side-tracked!)

I love Christmas and everything about it ~ the sights, sounds, smells... Ah yes, the smells ... cookies baking, feasts prepared for families, pine boughs trimmed into wreaths, peppermint candy canes, candles...

You issued an invitation for us to come to your house for Christmas Eve and we gladly accepted. As we drove down Franklin Street, I loved looking at all the lights. It seemed darker than usual yet the darkness offered a special backdrop for the multitude of lights and decorations. I smiled as we passed by a beautiful nativity set.

My father used to take us out at Christmas to look at all the festive lights and I cherish those memories. I did that with my children as well. Christmas wasn't complete without touring Deerfield in Plano! The journey to church passed by quickly with visions of Christmas Past dancing in my head!

Pastor Gerald Dudley

Fast forward to the present ~ church, cowboy style! As we got closer to the Open Range Church, I felt a sense of joy. This was our first Christmas Eve there and I found something that had been sorely missing this Christmas ~ a sense of belonging and feeling like a part of a family. Will Heard and Joe Manuel sang separately and together ... Pastor Gerald and Pastor Rick delivered wonderful Christmas messages ... we celebrated the Lord's Supper ... then, we shared hugs and Christmas greetings with our church family. I was filled with love and blessings that lifted me from the pits of self-pity to a higher place. Thank you!

Joe Manuel

The Brown's

Last year we were invited to Beverly and Don Crain's home for Christmas Day. This year, Beverly had surgery the day before Christmas and I offered to host lunch. I dug out the sterling silver, the Christmas dinnerware, and set the table. Michael put some Christmas music on and I danced around in my kitchen peeling, baking, and cooking up a feast. I must say, the ham was the best ever ... the sweet potato casserole (a new recipe) was scrum yummy with a topping made of brown sugar, pecans (from our tree), and butter. Paula Deen, eat your heart out!! Of course, I had my jar of olives to keep me company as I created our meal!! I am sooo grateful for my gourmet kitchen even if it is on a small scale!

Our guests arrived and for the next three hours we ate and fellowshipped. Michael and Don had had some pretty harrowing medical issues this past year and with Beverly's surgery and my own health challenges, we toasted being around to celebrate another Christmas together. Our guests are not Christians and we were able to share our experience in joining the Open Range Church and our faith in You. Maybe one day they will take us up on our invitations to join us for church. After coffee and dessert, our guests waddled (after 3 hours of eating and drinking, what do you expect? he he!) across the street and Michael and I fixed ourselves another cup of coffee, cleaned up the kitchen, and retired to the living room.

It was a tough realization to know that we couldn't buy Christmas gifts this year without "charging" and, believe me, that was hard. I am a giver and to not go Christmas shopping tore at my heart strings. To be totally honest, I really went through a purple funk the month of December ~ everything except doing what was absolutely necessary was almost too much to do. I wanted to pull the covers over my head and sleep away the days. Now, Father, you and I both know that's not a good way to handle disappointment. (Sigh)

Fortunately, I didn't leave You out of Christmas and found peace, serenity, and inner joy at the manger. Thanks to my daughter and her family and the Mason family at church we had gifts to open.

Michael was so excited when he opened his gift ~ a Cowboy sweatshirt!! He sounded like a little boy and I started giggling. The story of my gift is complicated but what's Christmas without stories? Not only did I get some wonderful Youth Dew perfume and bath oil but due to the mix-up, I also received a beautiful make-up bag (the one thing that I wanted for Christmas!).

Miss Vivian, Terry, and Susie gave us a beautiful candle holder and this morning I lit it ~ for some strange reason, I like to have candles burning as I pray, am writing, or creating something special. Lord, I'm so grateful that You gave us the strength to do that next right thing and leave the outcome to You!!

Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.

~Isaiah 12:2

This morning I prayed the Lord's Prayer found in Matthew 6. I knelt down on the floor and my little furry kids climbed up in my lap and tears began to fall. As I prayed, the words became alive~ My Father in heaven, your name so holy ~ I am in awe. Your kingdom will come and your will be done here on earth as it is now in heaven. You have supplied my daily bread and met my needs, I do not want. I have asked for wisdom and you have delivered me from evil. You are the kingdom, the power, and the glory ... FOREVER. I thought about my Readers and as names and faces came before me, I lifted my hands proclaiming your power in their lives. I BELIEVE!! I believe in the miracle of Christmas and I believe in the miracles that transpire when we ask you into our hearts. One of my heroes is Mother Teresa and there are times when I look her quotes up on the Internet and let her words soak into my heart. I don't understand so much about this life I am living ~ yet, my life is a gift and I don't want to waste it.

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS:  Christmas is the perfect time to celebrate the love of God and the birth of Jesus, God's perfect gift to a fallen world. The most amazing thing is that once we accept that gift, we are able to share it with others on Christmas AND on every day of the year. 2015 is just around the corner ~ I ask that you pray for me as I move into my 6th year of blogging. This year was my year to REFRESH.  Next year? I will be spending the next few days in prayer and listening for direction... Have a safe and Happy New Year! God bless and thank you for your encouragement and inspiration. Let's make it a point to get together come January 1!!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... ya you!

  

Sunday before Christmas...

December 21, 2014

Dear God,

It is Sunday! On my way across the country roads to your house, I was doing some woolgathering about the gift of life and time. This past week you gave me 24 X 7 = 168 hours to use as I wished. I was thinking about the number of times, I chose not to go to church, I chose not to read my Bible, and chose not to follow your leading I felt convicted. For all the blessings bestowed on me, could I not take the time to thank You a few hours a week?

I worshiped and listened to wise words from wise men (Bud, William, Pastor Rick, Brady, Terry, Pastor Gerald). There was this sense of peace that came over me and I wondered why it had taken me so long to "get it." As long as I "got it" now, I could begin anew.

I came home from church, fed Finn, and started doing laundry. Since Christmas is this week, I decided to get busy cleaning up the cottage and, as I picked up my computer, I had this overwhelming urge to write. Of course, since I had my computer open, I checked my Facebook messages ... there was this quote about priorities and I read it over and over before passing it on. It was like You were speaking to me ~ again, on this same subject ~ priorities.

Priorities ... are You important enough in my life to be a priority? Are You important enough for me to read your word and study your ways? Are You a priority enough that I should want to be like You? Oh yes, a million times, yes. How about the other people in my life? How can I make others feel important? I have work to do in 2015!!

I know what it has felt like to be unloved, unwelcome, and not valued as a person. That being said, You must be sad too when someone asks You into their heart then forgets about You. I cannot imagine dying on a cross ... crucified ... only to be pushed to the back burner in peoples' lives. Shame on us ... shame on me!

Carolyn, Branden, Neva

This morning when I walked into church, I began looking for familiar faces. I didn't want to miss wishing a Merry Christmas to those who might not be at church Christmas Eve. Branden introduced me to Carolyn (I hope I spelled her name right) who was visiting. Good Golly Miss Molly, I hope Carolyn comes back 'cause she's a lady I want to know more about. She does things that are on my bucket list and I have a hunger to learn. Thank you Branden for inviting her ~ I hope we all made her feel welcome.

Pastor Rick had gotten wind of a family in need and paid them a visit on Saturday. He began by saying that as we grown older we tend to remember Christmases from our childhood. Just as I was nodding my head in agreement, he got into the meat of the story and I could barely contain my tears.

Daddy needed some extra money to support his family but he chose the wrong way to go about it and is in prison. Mama is living in a home owned by kinfolk and they are supporting her with the basics. Problem? Four tiny girls and no money for Christmas. As Pastor Rick shared the details of his visit ... donuts, a big old dog, the knocks on the door, the playfulness of the girls ... "Are you a real cowboy?" ... I could picture them in their bare feet and tousled curls enamored by this man who brought a sense of joy and kindness. Oh that we should all be like children!

To make a long story a bit shorter, because of the benevolence of the Open Range Church, these precious girls will have a magical Christmas. And, maybe, just maybe, this family will be able to come to church and learn about You. That just warms the cockles of my heart. I wish I could be a little mouse in the corner on Christmas morning when those little ones wake up to a special "Frozen" moment in time!

When I was a young adult, my mother told me of times when my brother and  I were small that there was very little money for Christmas. There were no credit cards back then ~ it was cash then carry. I never knew or felt that we were lacking because there was always something that we had wished for. We received one present Christmas Eve then Santa brought a couple toys in the morning. Funny, how I don't remember many of the specific gifts. What I do remember is the gaiety of family Christmas ... Aunt Alida playing the piano while we all sang Christmas carols; midnight church when the room was lit with candles; the lefse and cookies; my Grandmother Belle grinning each year when she got her high topped black tennis shoes (she had chickens ~ enough said); my Grandmother Maggie's tears when her children came with bags of groceries and essentials; and, there's one more thing...

My Grandmother Maggie received a jug of Mogen David Wine each Christmas. It was a really big deal when we all received (adults - wine glasses; children - shot glasses) our wine to make our Christmas toasts. As children, we felt a part of something bigger, something important. The toasts were wonderful... "To my mother, thank you!" "To my wife, I love you." "To my cousin, you're funny!" It was sort of like gibberish because everyone was talking at once, hugging, and laughing.

Christmas Day 2013
From left:
Beverly, Rica, Don, Michael

I am looking forward to Christmas Eve services at church. I can't really explain it but just being in your house with fellow believers is such a wonderful gift. Christmas Day, we invited our neighbors over for a Christmas lunch. Beverly is having surgery on the 23rd (Carpel Tunnel dominant hand) and I knew she wouldn't be up to preparing a meal much less cleaning up. She had all the groceries before her surgery was scheduled so I was blessed to be the cook, furnish the place for our lunch, and do the clean up. Last Christmas Day was special at their home ... this year it will be at our home ... God willing in 2015, it will be at Rica's home.

Lord God, you are the Alpha, the Omega. This Christmas, I pray that you will bless your people. Help us to be aware of those less fortunate and be your ambassadors of kindness and love. This year has been quite a challenge for me and, I must admit, I am glad that it flew by and that 2015 is just around the corner. Help us all to look forward not back ~ to look upward and not stumble over our own feet. I pray for the many who are undergoing cancer treatments, undergoing heart surgeries, suffering with the flu, and those dealing with chronic illnesses. May there be the miracle of healing! Amen!! I pray for those who are alone this Christmas ~ those alienated from family ~ for those in nursing homes. Father, I thank you for my Readers and for the opportunity to share your word and love. Bless them, guide them, and minister to their every need. Christmas is just a few days away. As the church bells ring and people gather to celebrate your son's birth, let there be peace. Yes, peace ... may the violence stop, may we come together as a Christian nation, and, most of all, may we lift holy hands communing as one voice! Amen, it is so!!

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS:  I read this poem this morning and wanted to share it with you. As we go about the next few days, our lives can seem hectic and so out of control ~ please take some time to remember what is most important and, well, sometimes we just have to let the rest go.

"Whatever else be lost among the years,

Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing:

Whatever doubts assail us, or what fears,

Let us hold close one day, remembering

Its poignant meaning for the hearts of men.

Let us get back our childlike faith again."

~~Grace Noll Crowell

I Am Enough

Just As I Am

December 9, 2014
Wednesday

Dear God,

Brrr, it's downright chilly today. No heat in the cottage and casa except for a space heater in the cottage. Last night, my furry kids and I bundled up in blankets and were nice and toasty. They loved the extra cuddling and, I must admit, so did I! Tomorrow, things will be back to normal.

Last night I was so cold and I thought about the homeless and pets left outside to shiver trying to keep warm. At least I had blankets, flannel sheets, and a cushy bed. Thank you God for my shelter! I read recently that we don't truly know the plight of another unless we walk in their shoes. I believe that ~ it's why You allow us to go through trials in order that we might minister to others.

After Sunday's sermon, I have been thinking about how deep my relationship is with you. In fact, most Sundays, I come away thinking back into time, thinking the day through, and, most of all, how I can apply my new knowledge to the future.

I am enough that you, my God, sent your son to die for me. I am special ~ no freak accident of birth. Just as you are I AM, I, too, am.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. ~Psalm 139:13-14

As your child, I have stopped asking "why" or dwelling on what I did wrong in life. I no longer punish myself with unanswerable questions that lead nowhere. Life just is. Marriages aren't always made in heaven and children aren't born with instructions on how to parent perfectly. Life never quite turns out the way we hoped it would.

The one thing I do dwell on is how interconnected we have been throughout my life. I never remember a time when I wasn't looking for You and learning more about You ~ nor do I remember a time when You weren't there for me. I have story after story of miracles in my bag of life that could only be explained by your divine love and intervention.

My life has changed so drastically the past twelve years in a way I scarcely recognize. Where I thought I would be and where I am astounds me. I have come to that place where I accept that it is what it is. I can choose to live in the past or the wishful thinking of what might have been. OR, I can choose to create something new and meaningful for my present and future. I choose the later. It is not easy.

For people who have been abused, it is so difficult to understand your grace and love. For those who are rejected, it is so difficult to understand your acceptance. There is always that scab that gets rubbed off recreating offenses ... there are the reminders, the scars. I suffer (yes suffer) from episodes of PTSD; and, therefore, am very careful about submitting myself to possible triggers. I am not responsible for the acts and words of another ~ I am responsible for my own actions, words, and recovery and I take that seriously.

Pastor Dudley says that people go where they are invited and stay where they feel welcome. I'd never thought much about that but it's so true. If I am invited somewhere and it is not a pleasant experience, I rarely will venture out a second time. I guess people can say that's silly of me; I choose to think of it as loving myself enough to be safe and set healthy boundaries. It's also a reminder to me when someone knocks on my door or I invite someone over.

I was telling Michael that I wished he would have had the opportunity to meet my father's mother and family. My grandmother was a woman of deep faith and generous hospitality. Her daughters (Alida, Blanche, Eleanor, Lorna, Helen) followed in her footsteps. If you visited them, you were made to feel like the most special person in the world. My grandmother had nothing but she had everything. It was there, at her knee, that I learned so much about love and your holiness. She read her Norwegian Bible every day ... I wonder where it is and would love to just touch it in the way she did. I'm goofy about stuff like that.

The countdown to Christmas continues and, just for today, I am basking in the knowledge that soon I will celebrate the birth of your son, Jesus. I will fix a sumptuous Christmas Eve meal for Michael and I then we will head down the country roads to the Open Range Church to worship.

Father God in Heaven, my prayer list grows and I am grateful for the time I have to lift those precious people up in prayer. There are those who are so very ill and are in need of your healing touch. There are those who have lost loved ones and are entering this Christmas Season with heavy hearts. As my prayers float upward, I picture them being received and know they are heard. I am praising You that Robin is feeling better and that little Ellis is taking a bottle. I ask specifically that you be with Bev and Curt and Peggy. Bring peace and well-being. For families that are struggling financially this Christmas, I pray for "enough." For families struggling with rejection and aloneness, I pray for "enough." You, God, are enough and your promises ring clearly in the cold crisp air. Help me to help others in every way I can. I thank You for my Readers who I love dearly. I thank you for taking my blog across the globe and for those presented during prayer time for intercessory prayer. Times they are a changin' in our country and not for the better. The battle is here and we must not be afraid to speak out. My King, rise up men and women to lead the charge for if we are in You, we will not fail! Amen!

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO MY READERS:  What does "not good enough" mean? Those times when you were sure that laughter was directed at you? The times you thought you were loved but it turned out that you were deceived? The times from years past that fly through your mind as if to say, "Not waaaaannnnntttted?" Were you not pretty/handsome enough? Unaccepted? Unworthy? Stupid?

Let me tell you something, if you are a Christian all the above are lies from Satan himself. God's Word declares the opposite is true. You are desired and wooed by the most High God. You are made worthy by the shedding of the blood ... the blood of Jesus.

There is therefore now no condemnation

for those who are in Christ Jesus. ~Romans 8:1

You are enough ~ just as you are ~ to accept Jesus Christ as your Savior. Who else would die for you ~ for your sins past, present, and future? Come and take my hand and let's do this together, shall we? Some of you email me, text me, or contact me on Facebook and I covet our conversations. I don't have all the answers but, I promise you, I will listen and come alongside you.  Most of all remember, Jesus never disappoints!!