This morning, I rolled out of bed at 4:30 in preparation for my flight to Tampa, Florida. I was so excited I could hardly contain myself. It's been 2 years since I've seen my daughter and her family which is wayyyy too long. It's going to one of those memory-making days!!
When I got to the airport, I just sat down to wait and they called my name to come to the counter. I thought, "What in the world?" The plane was full and there was a lady who wanted to sit by her daughter and they wanted to know if I would change seats. No problem... The lady was so appreciative as was the gate agent... I didn't think it was such a big deal but evidently they did ... I got thanked (by name) when I boarded as well. Random acts of kindness pay off ... I had forgotten my mouse where I had been sitting and another woman called me (by name) and said, "Here, you forgot this." No small act of kindness goes unrewarded.
The plane ride was uneventful and finding my way to the tram and down to baggage was easy enough. And, there I was met by my precious granddaughter, Katrina, and son in law, Tim. Oh goodness, those hugs felt so good. Tim whisked us off to granddaughter, Madison's cheerleading practice. I got chills all over just watching them perform. From practice we headed to Panera Bread for a delicious lunch then headed for the house.
Hamilton Elf is enjoying the pool in Florida!
Tim and Jane are having a date night tonight so Grandma has the girls (plus 2 friends) all to herself. I am in pig heaven! I will be doing book 1 of the Hamilton Elf Series so I will be busy with that during the week while Jane & Tim are busy with their jobs. My room is so beautiful ... I feel like I am at a 5 star hotel with my own suite!
Teddy, Tim, Cricket
Tim,Jane, and the girls have become a foster home for Corgi's. Yesterday, they picked up Theodore Roosevelt "Teddy". Teddy is an amazing Corgi ... so well behaved and quite a charmer. I can tell already that he was wormed his way into their hearts. Enough for them to adopt him? Stay tuned!! Teddy deserves a wonderful home!
Madison & Cricket
Tonight at dinner, I talked with Madison and her friend, Alena about doing an interview for my blog. There is my generation, her mother's generations, and then, Madison's generation. They think differently, act differently and have definite opinions. Stay tuned for that blog as well.
Kids say the darnedest things. Since they have a pool and spa, I figured I'd better look into bringing a bathing suit. Well, I must have tried on a bazillion suits and settled on one that fit versus style. I was unpacking this afternoon and Katrina came in as I was putting the bathing suit away. She said, "Grandma, what's that?" I replied, "My bathing suit." She held up the bottom of the suit and said, "Well, Grandma, that's the fanciest thing I've ever seen." (In a real Southern drawl) I smiled, grabbed her, and gave her one of those Grandma hugs and kisses that expresses deep gratitude for making me feel special. This grandma is soaking up all the hugs and kisses, she can!!
You know, family truly is about connecting! Just when I think about things being status quo ... something pops up that changes the whole picture of my life and my family. My son is finding himself and has such focus ... he'll be going back to college soon to get a degree in his passion ... intervention and addiction counseling. I just love to listen to him talk about his family, how the Lord is working in his life and his new found dream. We can be so honest with each other and really listen to understand rather than judge.
Daughter, Jane, and her family are busy, busy, busy. Tim and Jane work as a team in raising Katrina and Madison and are doing an amazing job. The girls are thriving in an atmosphere of love. Katrina told me today that her mom and dad were the bread and she and her sister were the peanut butter and jelly. They feel so secure in knowing mom and dad are one. Is life perfect for them? Heck no ... but, somehow they make their lives connect one with the other! I am just grateful to be here to be a part of the action!
It's time for me to sign off and go be grandma! I'll leave you with a song to warm your heart ... Somewhere ... A new beginning ... Take my hand and let's travel this road of life together! Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!
On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross... I woke up this morning thinking about this old hymn. As I was listening, tears fell and I felt such humility ... Once upon a time, there was a man who died for me on an old rugged cross. What would you do for someone who did that for you? We must never forget his name ... Jesus!
2/9/11 Fun is Romping in the Snow
The dogren were up early this morning and thinking their breakfast should be ready! They are way too spoiled but that's okay ... the pleasure they give me far outweighs the tending to their needs. When I was feeding Sadie, Khelsea, and Toby, I took a trip down memory lane thinking about each dog I have had. As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I can't remember what happened to the animals I had as a child except for Tina aka "Beans". We had received tiny little Beans from my cousin and her husband and, I must admit, Beans was pampered and lived to a ripe old age! To not remember what happened to my other pets has been haunting ... maybe someday, the Lord will choose to open that area of my brain and I will know. Until then, I dote on my precious doggies remembering joy!
Stories about families used to be handed down from generation to generation. God tells us we are to tell our children about our relationship with Him and not just the good stuff. For most Christians, faith can be a lifetime struggle. Why? Because we are human. To only tell the positive can lead to disappointment, failure, and finally, a ceasing to try on the part of the listener. We need to give God time enough to smooth out our rough edges and that does take time. Maturity never happens overnight. The tale of the journey is worth telling. My story is about forgiveness (self and others), acceptance (seeing myself as God sees me), redemption (set free from self bondage to serve God), and truth (the good, the bad, the ugly).
God instructed the Israelites wandering around in the desert for 40 years in Deuteronomy 4:9 "...Be very careful never to forget what you have seen God doing for you. May his miracles have a deep and permanent effect upon your lives. Tell your children and grandchildren about the glorious miracles he did." I am no different, I was lost and through God's grace and miracles, I am able to tell my story ... to my family, friends, and the world.
My son has gone through many trials during his lifetime and is using those trials to help others. He is hungry to learn about the Lord and wants to go back to college to finalize his degree .. he's halfway there and is plotting out his path. My daughter uses her story to help other people in her profession as a pharmacist ... she goes way beyond status quo. I have no doubt that they will carry on the baton of my faith when I am gone because they are doing it now. They are using their pasts for the betterment of their families and others. I am a proud mama!!
One of the shows on TV that I enjoy watching is Biography. It is amazing to me how often movie stars forget their struggles and where they came from when they "hit it big." Instead of praising God and remembering, they become big-headed, turn to drugs and alcohol and hit a brick wall. Privilege takes the place of humility... How sad. Then, every so often there is a person that stands out and does remember the journey and I listen carefully.
I am getting ready for a trip to Florida to see my daughter and family. I wish I could pack Michael and the dogren in my suitcase but they will hold down the fort while I am gone. Hamilton Elf has gone on before me and I will join him. My goal is to get at least one Hamilton Elf book done while I am there. I am counting on granddaughter Kat to help me speak to children! Still looking for an illustrator but that, too, will come in time ... I have faith in my project and God who guides my fingers over the keyboard!!
We are to have another glorious warm day today. I have tons of errands to do and it will be nice to be out in the sunshine. When I walked outside to feed the dogren, I was shocked at how warm it was. I have tons of errands to do today ... it will be nice to be out in the sunshine!!
Before I sign off, I have a story I want to share with you ... it's called ...
The Butterfly
One day while walking through the woods, a man found a cocoon. He decided to take the cocoon home to watch it's transformation into a beautiful butterfly. He gently placed it on his table and watched it for several days.
One day a small opening appeared and the cocoon started to move. The old man sat and watched it for several hours as it struggled and struggled to force it's body from the cocoon.
Then, it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and was unable to go any farther. Finally, the old man feeling sorry for the cocooned butterfly decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then easily emerged.
It had a swollen body and small shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of it's life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It was never able to fly.
What the man in his kindness and haste didn't understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening was God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into it's wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved it's freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would only cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.
And we could never fly.
~~Author Unknown~~
I hope and pray that you all have a wonderful day! In all of our struggles, it's important to remember how far we've come ... You just can't quit!!
Good Evening, Readers! It's been so beautiful here in North Texas. We had the two Live Oak Trees in the front yard trimmed and thinned today and they look so nice. They were so thick, it was hard to see through them and we were getting too much shade in the living room. I've started Spring Cleaning and my Honey Do List is expanding. Figure that I'm doing good to check off one or two things a day depending on how involved the project is!!
When I was a little girl, Bestemor (grandmother in Norwegian) used to talk about our name. She would tell me that it was important to leave your name better than when you received it. A man or woman's handshake was their bond. Honesty and good character were so important to her. She was a woman of Torguson descent who married a Pederson. To say I was a Pederson meant that I was to be honest and upstanding ... my reputation was not to be tarnished. In the small town where I was raised, often times we were identified by our family name ...
Reputation and character are often used as interchangeable although their meanings are vastly different. Reputation is what others think you are; character is what God knows you are. Today, I was thinking about the circumstances God brought into my life to build my character ... difficult relationships, conflicts at work, physical issues, and financial challenges. It has always been important for me to take the high road ... my conscience has always worked overtime. As a child I went to the dime store and I stole a small bottle of perfume. I couldn't get what I had done out of my mind and had to tell my mother. She took me back to the store to return the Evening in Paris perfume and pay for what I had done. I felt just awful and didn't know why in the world I would steal perfume that I thought smelled horrible.
Whenever my reputation or character has been at stake and I've done something wrong, fear comes into my being and I picture myself locked up in jail. Not a pretty sight. To make amends, I often times have had to step out in faith into unknown territory. The temptation has always been to settle for the status quo especially if no one knows what I have done. Why come forth and rock the boat? I've ultimately needed to do the "next right thing" and leave the rest to God. There are always consequences but I've found the consequences bother me less than having a bleeding conscience. I would rather fear man rather than God.
Speaking of reputation and character ...
Have you ever been a scapegoat (the one bearing the blame for others)? It's a horrible place to be. The black sheep of a family has a tough road to travel. You don't even need to be a black sheep ... all you have to do is be perceived by others as "bad". As a little girl, I wanted more than anything to make my parents proud of me ... I loved them so very much and would have done anything to make them happy. It was like that in my marriages as well ... I walked on egg shells trying so hard to please and hear the words ... "I'm so proud of you." I've mentioned before, I was like the hamster running on the wheel ... the faster I ran, the worse I felt. I've taken the blame far too many times and cried myself to sleep wondering how I could do and be better. One of my counselors told me ... "Dottie, always consider the source of those belittling you. " When I began doing that, I began to feel better about myself and could move forward .
I have been reading about the Israelites wandering around in the desert. I used to think that Leviticus and Numbers were the most boring books in the Bible. This go around, I am reading new life into these books. The Israelites were, so often, grumblers and I asked of myself, "Are you a grumbler?" Do I have an attitude of gratitude? God will always reveal His will to the one who is willing to do it. I've always asked God to put me on the front lines and He has ... I just know that if He brings me to "it", He will bring me through "it".
How many things can you think of that were good about "the good old days"? The Daily Walk Devotional says that "Those with their eyes fixed on the past risk a severe collision with the future." I had to think about that ... I've found that when I am experiencing adversity, I catch myself looking back to the good old days with a twinge of nostalgia. Often times memory is selective and current difficulty often seems to bring time only the best of yesterdays. I must be careful to always remember truth.
How about you? Have difficult times caused you to look longingly on the way life used to be or the way you thought it used to be? For so many years, my childhood was only thought of as normal and wonderful. It was so difficult for me to recognize and admit it wasn't. Until I could speak truth, I was paralyzed and could not move forward. Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV) "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Keep looking up and you won't ever want to look back!
The day comes to an end ... time to take the chill off with a nice fire!
Numbers 6:26 "May the Lord bless and protect you; may the Lord's face radiate with joy because of you; may He be gracious to you, show His favor, and give you His peace."
Always remember that you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!
Whoa ... it is cold outside. It was 10 degrees this morning when the sun came up. Those flannel sheets felt mighty good last night! I was so looking forward to Winter and having a time of indoor activities and rest ... now, I am ready to feel the warm sun and get back to being able to spend some time on the back porch.
As I prayed for a topic for my blog today, revenge came to mind. One of my favorite TV shows is Criminal Minds and there is a thread that goes through each segment ... revenge. Revenge is ugly whether it is passive aggressive or down right meanness. I do want to emphasize thatrevenge is a choice. On my journey of life, as I began to peel away at the hurts and abuse, I was angry. I had to deal with this anger before I could address "it" with others. The Lord says that vengeance is His and if I believe in him as my savior, I must trust that what he is telling me is true and I do. I still struggle with hurt and anger when I am attacked ... it is my pattern to become very still, then go away and address the issue inside of me. Those that attack the innocent seem to be able to justify their actions and leave a wake of destruction behind them. I've seen God's vengeance, and it's not pretty.
"Men are more ready to repay an injury than a benefit, because gratitude
is a burden and revenge a pleasure."~~Tacitus
A gentle spirit, a caring heart, random acts of kindness seem to be lost with the slightest of error. Personally, I could not have dealt with the abuse in my life without my Savior. I think about what man did and does to Him and I cringe. How many fathers would allow their son to be hung on a cross to save sinners ... the bad guys?!? I am humbled.
To tell my story without vengeance has meant praying over each blog and examining my motives. Are my words true? Will my words be of benefit to someone traveling the roads that I have and am? And, am I being honest or just plain down out vengeful? It is important for me to acknowledge my hurt yet I do not want to hate... I want people to understand that there is light in the midst of hurt, anger and sorrow.
The biggest hurdle I have had to jump over has been the one of getting over hurt feelings. I heard the words "shame on you" my entire life ... I had to be the one to forgive, no matter how badly my heart was mutilated. My life was shame based ... My second husband beat me until I bled but I did not press charges. I was the one flawed. It was my fault. Why was I being punnished?
It is so difficult for young people now ... sex sells on TV and in magazines. They give their hearts away far too early and mistake the hormones raging for love. Living together is normal now although God says it is not. When they are rejected for another love, vengeance becomes cyber bulling, texting unkind messages and gossip. Photos can be photo shopped and can ruin the best of reputations. Too much too soon .... It started with my generation and we spoiled our children and now our grandchildren are being spoiled in ways that are unhealthy. Ever hear the song, "Whatever Lola Wants, Lola Gets"? We are a microwave society ... can't afford _____? Put it on a credit card ... we don't want to disappoint anyone...
Often times, the Lord speaks to me through the Psalms. When it first started happening, I was in awe and how He would answer my questions and prayers. As I struggled with the vengeance that I was experiencing at different times in my life, He always brought me back to Psalm 55. I love the entire Psalm; however, verses 16-18 were of such comfort: "But I call to God and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me..."
I want to leave you with this quote by John Billings (1818-1885) today: "There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness." Think about that today as you go about your daily comings and goings.
Until tomorrow, always remember that you are loved
and prayed for ... YA YOU!!
How about dunking a donut with someone special today? Let's teach our youth to voice their sorrows that they would not be prone to vengeance and hate! Have a great
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood! Yes, it is ... chilly but oh so pretty! We were supposed to have another Winter blast but have minimal ice and a dusting of snow. Just enough to remind us that Winter is still here. Yesterday the fountain was babbling ... today it is iced over. Doesn't matter to the dogren ... they love the chase in the snow!!
I am a thinker. I like to figure out why people are the way they are (including moi) and am continually learning and growing. I must admit that once I finally got to the root of my own issues, it opened up Pandora's Box and roots went everywhere. Talk about a tangled mess. Yet, it was my mess and I am unraveling all the stuff that most people would prefer to leave in the grave. I probably have been a pest to family and friends, prying open their minds to the past. I was begging for any knowledge ... I had to know as much as I could because it would be in truth that my heart and soul would be set free! The blanks in my life were far too many ... Once the dark corners were swept and known, it freed up lots of room for good memories to make their way in! Yahoo!!
Michael & our oldest granddaughter!
My husband has had to deal with my stubbornness and the emotional ups and downs of each discovery and each peeling of my flesh. Before I got better, I had to walk through some pretty muddy waters sometimes regressing to the pain I suffered as a child. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was a frightening thing not only to me but to my partner as well. I give him credit for loving me on this journey. I must admit, I pushed him to a limit of wellness as well and together we walked this road. Yesterday, we went to Target ... he rode in a motorized cart and I walked beside him, holding his hand. I'll bet we were a funny sight! I like to have fun adventures every day and Michael is getting used to playing. We're never too old to have fun!! Right?
I couldn't have made it this far without the support of my friends, my children, Michael and my faith. I listen to the song of Amazing Grace and am humbled. Tears fall down my face as I listen to one of my favorite groups sing this song. Close your eyes and listen ... think about grace.
Without God's grace, direction and provision, I would not be sitting here writing this blog. To so many who gave me grace, I am eternally grateful. You'd be surprised at how many people have rejected and thrown stones at me considering me damaged goods ... a woman not fit to teach other women ... a woman not fit to lead in church ... A woman not to be forgiven because she is tarnished, dented and imperfect. In the Bible, I would be the woman at the well ... in life, I was a wounded spirit prey for every unkind person. No matter how much I would try, I never seemed to grasp the "being OK." I could understand in my mind; however, until I connected head knowledge with my heart, my self-destructive habits continued. I believed the "lie."
As a young woman, I became a Stephen's Minister and was on the Speaker's Forum for the Women's Shelter. I could share my story and understand others going through turmoil and stress. I was able to listen without my mouth gaping open or judging. Why? Because that was what I wanted for myself. I had a library of books that most psychologists would envy. I still am an avid reader especially when the book is about people who are overcomers. I'm not beyond jumping up and down and saying ... YES, I can do that too!!! Somehow, I knew that with the help of my Lord God, I would be whole. I want to share a poem with you that caught my eye today...
Watch Your Thoughts
Watch Your Thoughts.
They Become Words.
Watch your Words.
They Become Actions.
Watch Your Actions.
They Become Habits.
Watch Your Habits.
They Become Character.
Watch Your Character.
For It Becomes Your Destiny.
---Author Unknown
Some years ago now, I went into counseling with a Christian man ... I will call him, Dr. John. When I was feeling overwhelmed, he would say to me, "Dottie, do the next right thing, one day at a time and the future will take care of itself." I believed that with all my heart and put his philosophy into practice. With time, it became comfortable and I knew that no matter what, I was doing the best I could do in keeping my slate clean. That was a good thing for me because when someone slammed me, I could examine their tirades and either accept or disregard. It was important to stay in the "now", not zone out or regress into a PTSD episode. It's been many, many months since I've sucumbed to climbing into a closet and wailing like a small child.
Yesterday, I had another call from a publisher wanting a draft of my book. Doing the story on Hamilton Elf is one thing but maybe, just maybe, the cost of honesty would be far too painful to me and to others. My son attended church last Sunday and the sermon was on forgiveness ... "hurt people hurt people." I've heard that before and I know it's true. I get pros and cons as I seek advice ... one person tells me that those who brutalized me didn't worry about me and my feelings and another says, go for it. I've been in prayer for years about this. I do care about hurting people ... especially, now that I have learned more about their backgrounds.
It is time to start working on my house ... since Michael has been ill, he has been my focus and I'm afraid, my cleaning chores have been down the list. He was to have another steroid injection in his back today and they canceled because of ice. Hopefully soon he will have relief!
Toby is watching me take photos of the snow and isn't sure if he wants to join me. He loves the snow but is NOT keen on the ice on the driveway!!
May the Lord bless and keep you safe this Winter day! Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!
What a beautiful day in North Texas.The sun was out and melted most of the snow. Sounds like we are in for round two tomorrow night on into Wednesday. Hopefully, this will be a shorter blast. I didn't realize how much the weather dictates whether I go out or not! Oh, the joys of getting older!
We ventured south of Dallas to Corsicana yesterday for Michael's Aunt Leola's funeral. I had only met Leola a few times but each time I met her, she exuded charm and had such a gentle spirit. I know her sons and their families and her friends will miss her terribly. She was a servant of the Lord for much of her life ... always giving, always encouraging, always smiling... Michael has a very loving family and it was good to talk with many of them today. We are hoping that we will be able to get together more when the little casa is finished.
Cabinets in Honeysuckle Yellow!
Since we were so close to the little casa and to Mom S, we decided to head further south to check on them both. When we opened the back door of the little casa, I was soooo excited. Lowe's has started putting the cabinets in and they look wonderful!! We've chosen the stone back splash and granite counter tops so it's just putting together the final puzzle pieces and finishing up on the water damage. I told Michael that it would be nice to have the house finished for Valentine's Day. I don't know if he'll be able to light enough fires under people to get it done but hey, I can wish can't I??
1998
When I got home yesterday, I opened up my email and my son had sent me the obituary of my ex-husband. I read and re-read it ... it seemed so surreal. Hoot was a country cowboy and always seemed bigger than life ... it's hard to believe he is gone. In a matter of seconds, my mind flashed through our seven years together. As a city girl, Hoot brought the world of old Texas into my life. When I met him, he drove a big black pickup with tinted windows. On our first date, I had trouble getting up into the truck and from then on, he called me "short legs." We toured the Texas countryside staying in old bed and breakfasts. In each little town, there were those who "knew him." This cowboy worked as a conductor on the railroad and showed horses ... Stanza Star, his stud Paint, was his pride and joy. We were a good team for a long while. I brought culture and a love of the city to him and he brought the excitement of Texas history to me. Hoot had childhood secrets that he couldn't get beyond and eventually they caught up with him and our marriage was dramatically affected. Sadly, Hoot became involved in some activities that wooed him into a world I could not enter. A man once my hero became my nightmare ... sadly, our relationship ended as quickly as it started. It is my hope and prayer that Hoot is at peace with a God of forgiveness and grace. I say adios to a man who gave me new sight about the world of the cowboy.
Gosh, life has been so fragile lately... My Aunt Lorna died the same day at Michael's Aunt Leola. My old friend Ralph A passed not long ago ... now, Hoot... We just never know when our time is up. Will I be next? At the end of the day and I close my eyes, I always thank God for my time on earth ... when I open my eyes, I thank him for the newness of another day. It makes me want to get off my duff and do something special each day no matter how I feel.
When I was sitting in the chapel yesterday, I looked around me ... Leola had touched so many lives and each was grieving in their own way. Leola had gone to be with the Lord and her beloved husband, Leroy and this memorial service was for those left behind. I know that you're not supposed to touch the body but I did ... Leola's hands were cold ... a single flower was in her left hand. Her hair was perfectly "done" and her face glowed. I touched her cheek and it reminded me of when I touched my mother in her casket. There was no sign of life ... only a waxy shell of a body. I remembered kissing my mother tenderly on the forehead and saying my goodbyes. It was so tough to leave her and have them shut the casket. I was the only one in the room with Aunt Leola ... I picked up the basket of flowers Mom, Michael and I had sent ... it was so fresh and the fragrance filled my senses. Oh the beauty of flowers ... as a gardener, they are a sign of love! I was aware of the music being played ... The Rose ...
Before the service started, the funeral directors shut the casket and placed a beautiful spray of flowers in the center. I thought about what I wanted when I passed. I have a fear of being closed in and the thought of even a slight chance of being buried alive always gives me shudders. I have sat on the teeter totter weighing the pros and cons of burial or cremation and decided that cremation would be best for me. It has always become important for me to go back to where I was born and in cremation, I would be able to join my mother and father and so many of my father's "kin folk" ... dust to dust. I want people to remember me as I lived and celebrate me for who I am. I am at peace with that part. My husband is not sure about my decisions but I hope he will honor my wishes.
Do you have days of reflection? Days you just want to snuggle in with memories of times gone by? Yesterday, I heard lots of "do you remember when ......?" Family ... so precious ... I am so honored to be a part of Michael's family. They have welcomed me warmly and, for that, I am grateful.
I love inspirational poetry and came across this one ... I wanted to send it on to you, my precious readers ... please know you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!
Life's Journey
Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Do not set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
Do not take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
Do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all of the days of your life.
Do not give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
It is a fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Do not be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is too hold it too tightly.
In addition, the best way to keep love is to give it wings
Do not dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope.
To be without hope is to be without purpose.
Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been,
but also where you are going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.
---Author Unknown
When you look out the window of opportunity ... dream BIG! Life is a gift ... untie the ribbons!!
It's Super Bowl week in Dallas and wouldn't you know we are having one of those Winter storms that paralyzes the city. Instead of being down in the dumps, the city has rallied and made the best of the ice and snow. Tents with heaters have been set up so that parties can continue. The Steelers and the Packers teams have arrived! I think our city is doing the Super Bowl proud! Texans are noted for their hospitality. I found that out when I moved to Texas in 1970! It took awhile to get used to the "honey, can I help you" and the hugs but I soon began to love the people and their friendliness. My kind of life ...
Life is all about attitude isn't it? You get more out of life with honey than you do vinegar and a "what about me" stance. With each move in my life, I have found such warmth and love wherever I layed my head down. Home was where my heart was ... and that was with my family. It's so easy to wish for "things the way they were" and miss the opportunities that lay before us. I would not be the woman I am today without the adventures of living in different cultures and meeting so many wonderful people.
I keep some files and boxes which contain memories ... every now and then, I go through them and enjoy reading and touching some of the mementos. I have letters and pictures from my children and mementos from the different places I've worked and from people who were and always will be special to me. Other than my journals which contain snapshots of my life (the good, the bad, the ugly), I have gotten rid of the crap. When my husband and I moved into our home that we built from the ground up, we decided only to keep the stuff that honored God and our relationship.
"June 1, 2008
'The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.'~~ Psalm 23:1
How can so many people's lives be so full and their hearts and souls be so empty? That's what I wonder as the years go racing by me ... I can relate because I was one of them. Not too long ago, I found myself to be physically and emotionally spent. I was desperately in need of a refill. My tasks at home, work, wife, mother and grandmother had left me parched and drained.
At times when I have been at the end of my rope, my Lord Jesus has poured out his presence with an especially generous hand. Sometimes, my heart has held the cold residues of rancid ideas or moldy attitudes or leftover values and stubborn pain. I've needed the Lord to fill my heart which required my willingness and the Lord's grace.
I am cracked and flawed, marred with imperfections yet have aged as a fine lady. At this time of my life, I can honestly say I like me. That doesn't mean I am void of struggles. Each day has it's share of challenges and I remember ... the Lord is my shepherd ... my protector and provider.
I remember when I was going through my divorce from my second husband. I ran so hard trying to fill my heart and my life. I filled my days with my children, work, class after class, church friends and on and on. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't fix that hole in my heart. I was filling my life with so much activity I couldn't hear what God was telling me. All I could hear was 'You aren't worthy - no one loves you.' Oh, the pain. My oldest daughter was living with her father. I couldn't even master mothering. I loved her so much yet I didn't know how to manage an out of control teen. My world was caving in and I didn't know where to turn. I yearned for peace and laughter. I met my third husband, and for a long time, he filled my heart. He was kind and loving but no matter how much he tried, he couldn't fill that empty hole in my heart.
My boss at the time, sponsored me on a Walk to Emmaus. It was the first time in my life that I heard women talk about abuse, incest, abortion, drugs, and how Jesus My boss's wife was one of the speakers. We had quiet times, chapel ... sharing. I listened and the seed was planted. For that brief time, I experienced quietness and peace. I think everyone needs that time of retreat ... a time to come face to face with the Lord, a time to pray and a time to listen.
I've come to know Jesus more because of my children. I look at them and no matter what, I love them. There's no sin I couldn't forgive them of and if I am like that, Jesus who is God can love me as His child in the same way. That is what truly filled the hole in my heart!
Last night I had some really strange dreams. I dreamt that I put in my name for American Idol and I won. Jane looked at me (she was young in the dream, maybe 10) and said, 'Mom, you can't sing.' (One of my vocal chords is paralyzed) I think what God was telling me was that the impossible can be possible. I truly would like to pain and be more creative and, of course, write a book. I wonder ...
Today:
You say: "It's impossible." God says: ".."What is impossible from a human perspective is possible with God."~~Luke 18:27
The wind doth blow ... the snow falls ... I am blessed!
Always remember ... you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU ... ALL OF YOU!!
