Family ... Reputation

Good Evening, Readers!  It's been so beautiful here in North Texas.  We had the two Live Oak Trees in the front yard trimmed and thinned today and they look so nice.  They were so thick, it was hard to see through them and we were getting too much shade in the living room.  I've started Spring Cleaning and my Honey Do List is expanding.  Figure that I'm doing good to check off one or two things a day depending on how involved the project is!!

When I was a little girl, Bestemor (grandmother in Norwegian) used to talk about our name.  She would tell me that it was important to leave your name better than when you received it.  A man or woman's handshake was their bond.  Honesty and good character were so important to her.  She was a woman of Torguson descent who married a Pederson.  To say I was a Pederson meant that I was to be honest and upstanding ... my reputation was not to be tarnished.  In the small town where I was raised, often times we were identified by our family name ...

Reputation and character are often used as interchangeable although their meanings are vastly different.  Reputation is what others think you are; character is what God knows you are.  Today, I was thinking about the circumstances God brought into my life to build my character ... difficult relationships, conflicts at work, physical issues, and financial challenges.  It has always been important  for me to take the high road ... my conscience has always worked overtime.  As a child I went to the dime store and I stole a small bottle of perfume.  I couldn't get what I had done out of my mind and had to tell my mother.  She took me back to the store to return the Evening in Paris perfume and pay for what I had done.  I felt just awful and didn't know why in the world I would steal perfume that I thought smelled horrible.

Whenever my reputation or character has been at stake and I've done something wrong, fear comes into my being and I picture myself locked up in jail.  Not a pretty sight.  To make amends, I often times have had to step out in faith into unknown territory.  The temptation has always been to settle for the status quo especially if no one knows what I have done.  Why come forth and rock the boat?  I've ultimately needed to do the "next right thing" and leave the rest to God.  There are always consequences but I've found the consequences bother me less than having a bleeding conscience.  I would rather fear man rather than God.

Speaking of reputation and character ...

Have you ever been a scapegoat (the one bearing the blame for others)?  It's a horrible place to be.  The black sheep of a family has a tough road to travel.  You don't even need to be a black sheep ... all you have to do is be perceived by others as "bad".  As a little girl, I wanted more than anything to make my parents proud of me ... I loved them so very much and would have done anything to make them happy.  It was like that in my marriages as well ... I walked on egg shells trying so hard to please and hear the words ... "I'm so proud of you."  I've mentioned before, I was like the hamster running on the wheel ... the faster I ran, the worse I felt.  I've taken the blame far too many times and cried myself to sleep wondering how I could do and be better.  One of my counselors told me ... "Dottie, always consider the source of those belittling you. "  When I began doing that, I began to feel better about myself and could move forward .

I have been reading about the Israelites wandering around in the desert.  I used to think that Leviticus and Numbers were the most boring books in the Bible.  This go around, I am reading new life into these books.  The Israelites were, so often, grumblers and I asked of myself, "Are you a grumbler?"  Do I have an attitude of gratitude?  God will always reveal His will to the one who is willing to do it.  I've always asked God to put me on the front lines and He has ...  I just know that if He brings me to "it", He will bring me through "it".

How many things can you think of that were good about "the good old days"?  The Daily Walk Devotional says that "Those with their eyes fixed on the past risk a severe collision with the future."  I had to think about that ... I've  found that when I am experiencing adversity, I catch myself looking back to the good old days with a twinge of nostalgia.  Often times memory is selective and current difficulty often seems to bring time only the best of yesterdays.  I must be careful to always remember truth.

How about you?  Have difficult times caused you to look longingly on the way life used to be or the way you thought it used to be?  For so many years, my childhood was only thought of as normal and wonderful.  It was so difficult for me to recognize and admit it wasn't.  Until I could speak truth, I was paralyzed and could not move forward.  Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV) "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." 

 

Keep looking up and you won't ever want to look back!

The day comes to an end ... time to take the chill off with a nice fire!

Numbers 6:26 "May the Lord bless and protect you; may the Lord's face radiate with joy because of you; may He be gracious  to you, show His favor, and give you His peace."

Always remember that you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!