A Sense of Belonging

December 26, 2013

Brrr!  It's still really chilly here today.  I'm still in my jammmies, steaming hot coffee in hand!!  I hope that y'all had a great Christmas and are looking forward to 2013.

Last March I moved from North of Dallas to Central Texas.  I doubt if we will ever see snow here but it sure is cold.  Christmas Day brought rain with a few pellets of ice and WIND!!  I holed up in the cottage and read a book I got for Christmas, THE KITCHEN HOUSE written by Kathleen Grissom (it's a New York Times bestseller and if you like history, you'd enjoy it).  The story takes place in the late 1700's, early 1800's and gives an eye opening picture of life on a plantation.  Not only were there slaves but also indentured servants (in this case, a young girl who lost her parents on the journey from Ireland to America).

The book touched heavily on the concept of belonging.  To feel alone and rejected is misery no matter what one's status in life.  Simone Weil says, "To be rooted is perhaps the most important and least recognized need of the human soul."  As a child I knew that I belonged ... I belonged to the son of Maggie Pederson, I belonged to Glenwood Lutheran Church, I belonged to the choir, the band, the Girl Scouts, and I had a close group of friends (still do).  There was comfort in belonging and knowing where I fit.

When I went to college, I felt lost and sought out groups where I was accepted.  Luckily, my best friend in high school was my roommate and the transition to college life was easier.  When I met my future husband, his family welcomed me like their own daughter.  They were kind, loving, and, more than anything, they liked who I was (except for the fact that I didn't eat much!). Every time I visited these loving people, I felt uplifted and a "part of" their circle. They included me, introduced me, supported me, and shared their lives with me. I was drawn to that like flies to honey. I learned from them and their legacy has grown through me.  I began to learn to make my way in this world, seeking out places where I was accepted and people who loved me.  I responded readily to words of affirmation and encouragement. 

There are words inside me waiting to be spoken ... in my journey of life, I have experienced belonging because of class, race, dignity, deep buried secrets, and familial bonds.  I have been on the inside looking out and the outside looking in.  What is the opposite of being included?  Excluded.  To not be invited ... to be invited but ignored and discounted.  There are times when I have been in a room full of people and felt so --- alone.  I think everyone can relate at one time or another.

My move to Central Texas has been a very difficult adjustment.  I have experienced a deep loneliness from not having a church to belong to and friends and family left behind.  Maybe it was just one too many moves, I'm not sure.  I am a positive, optimistic person who enjoys filling other's cups; however, I have found that my cup needs filling as well.  Think about this, you can lose everything material and that can be replaced.  To lose people?  Devastating!  Ask anyone who has lost a beloved spouse after many years of marriage.

On my life's travels, I have developed a deep sense of empathy for my fellowman.  I welcome those who want to enter my home and my world with open arms.  I share what I have with others and remain teachable.  As I have opened my heart and home there have been times when life has thrown me a curve ball ... THEREFORE, I have also had to learn boundaries.  A counselor once told me, "Dottie, the only ones who like doormats are those with muddy feet."  Run over me and you'll experience a huge STOP sign.

After you read this, draw a circle ... who do you allow in and who do you keep out?  Do you have a big sign at your front door or that spells out P-R-I-V-A-T-E?  This Christmas I had a phone call from a dear friend.  She attended a Christmas Eve party at her son-in-law's mother's home where there was a mix of family, neighbors, and friends.  Christmas Day there was to be another party.  It reminded me of Christmas at my Grandmother Pederson's home ... the more the merrier.  She lived on welfare and didn't have much but boy howdy, she stretched what she had, mixed it with love and joy, and never locked her door.  That's the stock I come from!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

PS  “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
― Brené Brown

      

Christmas 2012

December 24, 2012

Christmas will be officially here in just a few hours.  It will be a time when many families gather to celebrate the birth of our Savior and each other.  I am so glad that I have a huge bag of memories that I can pull out and do some reruns!!  For so many years, Christmas was such a wonderful time of family get-togethers and festivities.  As my children left home to establish traditions of their own, I found that Christmas was ... well, different and kind of lonely at times.  I have had to reinvent various ways to keep the holiday spirit alive.

My son and his family arrived last Saturday for a pre-Christmas celebration.  It was a time of enjoying good food, laughter, and a whole lot of love being passed around.  I felt alive and my heart was beating to the tune of  Joy to the World!  They brought their two dogs, Bristol and Missy, which delighted our dogs, Sadie and Toby.

Zachary and Nicholas spent two days outside in the backyard entertaining themselves.  They played hide and seek in the storm shelter, climbed the Pecan tree, and dug a huge hole to plant tree limbs to see if they would grow.  I sat on the patio watching them dig, chase each other, and explore the rusticness of the back yard.  Tommy lit a fire in the chiminea and we visited while laughing at his two offspring who were so engrossed in their undertakings.

It was nice to spend some time in my kitchen (ham with mustard sauce, twice baked potatoes, corn/green beans, crescent rolls...), getting out the sterling silver, and setting an inviting Christmas table.  I had made some cupcakes and put a candle in each one so the we could sing Happy Birthday to Jesus.  Everything looks so inviting by candlelight!!  At the first sign of sundown, I light candles and take refuge in the shadows of the dancing flames.  I'm such a romantic at heart!

At Christmas, I am reminded how Jesus came to earth to take our brokenness and create new lives of peace and serenity.  Jesus sees us as his creation ... works of the Father.  He knew me in my mother's womb.  (Psalm 139:13)  It is our goal to catch Christ's vision and become more like him.  I was blind, now I see.   (John 9:25)  With his blood (red), he washed us white as snow.  (Isaiah 1:18)  His light shines in us and through us offering a beacon for others ... "Come to me those of you who are weary..."  (Matthew 11:28)  The door to salvation is never closed ...

 

I wish you blessings of love this Christmas and always. Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU

 

Miss Dottie

PS  "Christmas! The very word brings joy to our hearts. No matter how we may dread the rush, the long Christmas lists for gifts and cards to be bought and given–when Christmas Day comes there is still the same warm feeling we had as children, the same warmth that enfolds our hearts and our homes.”~~Joan Winmill Brown

PSS  I got a kick out of my granddog, Bristol.  Once all the festivities of gift opening was over, he made a nest out of the wrappings and settled down for a Winter's nap!!  I think he had a good idea!! 

Mary did you know?

December 20, 2012

Wow!  Just a few days to Christmas!!  Where in the world did this year go?  It seems like yesterday that I was fixing New Year's dinner.

Several days ago, one of my Facebook friends posted this video of the song Mary Did You Know sung by CeeLo Green.  I've watched it several times and each time I watch it, tears flow.  It is so moving and so powerful that I wanted to include it in my blog today.

Anyway, Good Morning!!!  The sun is out and it's a chilly new day in Central Texas.  I saw on the news that the Midwest is being bombarded by snow and ice.  I absolutely love the snow but I don't think I could handle months and months of cold weather.  I do not own a winter coat; here, a heavy sweater or lightweight jacket does just fine.  We did have some strong wind last night and the temperatures are dropping again today.  Seems weird to experience 80 degree weather yesterday and high of 50 today...
 
Mary did you know?  A song for all mothers ...  mother did you know your baby boy (or baby girl) would some day  _______ (you fill in the blank).  If we knew the trials, sorrows, and tribulations our children would face would we still have given birth?  If we knew they were going to step on our hearts would we still have given birth?  Think about it ... the birth of Mary's son (and our children) brings hope to the world.

Each time my babies arrived, I tenderly held them close and felt a love that seemed humanly impossible.  As I fed them, bathed them, and gently rubbed lotion into their soft bodies, I hummed, loving every moment.  With my oldest child, Jill, I was a nervous new mom (I was over the top in making sure her every need was met and then some!) ... when my middle daughter, Jane, arrived I felt more comfortable in my role (having a 2 year old and a new born was challenging at times!) ... when son, Tommy, arrived five years later, I was calm and truly able to experience fully the joy of motherhood (the girls were in school and he was my focus as well as his sisters' focus).  Tommy was my Christmas baby ... God's gift to our family.  He was baptized Christmas Eve ... a magical night blanketed by new falling snow.  As I sat in the church pew, I knew exactly what Mary had felt so many years ago!

We never stop being mothers ... no, not even when our children leave home.  We never stop loving and believing in our children and encouraging them to follow their dreams.  We pray, we weep, we celebrate and keep memories close to our hearts to relive when times get tough.  There is no love as deep and forgiving as that of a mother.

I wasn't sleepy and watched the first of a four part series about Jesus a couple nights ago.  It really brought to light some of the trials that Mary went through as a pregnant teen telling her betrothed that she had slept with no one.  Joseph sure struggled with that tale...  A very pregnant Mary rode to Bethlehem on a donkey for a census.  Ouch!  There was no room in the inn when they got there ... how about giving birth in a stable with the animals?  Not to worry ... Mary found lots of fresh straw and a manger to lay her baby in.  To put the icing on the cake, Herod ordered all boy babies under the age of 2 to be murdered ... terror in the heart of any mother!  Can you imagine an army of men coming in to your city and murdering ALL the male babies?  Come on, Mary, get back up on that donkey and head for Egypt.  Ouch!  God's son did not come to earth as a pampered king without challenges...  We read the Christmas Story and it sounds so warm and inviting.  Really probably not by today's standards.   However, I think you would agree will me ... there is a magical magestical presence offered by Matthew and Luke ... A KING IS BORN IN THE CITY OF BETHLEHEM!!

In just a few days time, we will gather in churches and homes across the world to celebrate the coming of our Savior that night so long ago.  Norman Vincent Peale said, "Christmas waves a magic wand over this world; and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful."  I think that's so true.  His light shines in every dark corner offering hope and eternal life to all who believe.

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

PS  Christmas Eve was a night of song that wrapped itself about you like a shawl. But it warmed more than your body. It warmed your heart... filled it, too, with a melody that would last forever.~~Bess Streeter Aldrich
 


 







   

Oh bring me some figgy pudding!

December 16, 2012

Yesterday, I started singing "Oh bring me some figgy pudding..."  Got me going on today's blog!!

Good morning from Miss Dottie's kitchen.  Come on in and we can chat ~~ coffee's on, so help yourself.  Today, I decided to make my former mother-in-law's steamed cranberry pudding with butter sauce!!  Ye ha!!  Yummy!

For years, I made the family Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.  It started out as a labor of love, though as the years rolled by it eventually seemed more labor and less love!  I'm kidding of course!  Now my daughter lives in Florida and my son likes to have Thanksgiving at his home so I'm usually a guest.  I must say, I miss getting my hands and kitchen messy with all the preparations that went in to providing a feast for my family.  Things change when our children leave the nest and establish families of their own.

My mother-in-law, Leila, was a wonderful lady and fabulous cook.  My personal favorites of hers were her turkey dressing and the infamous cranberry pudding with butter sauce.  She prepared the pudding as a special treat for her family and we oohed and aahed over it's wonderful aroma and dense moist texture.  Funny thing ... it's very easy to make and doesn't require a pudding mold.  She used tin cans tying on some wax paper on the top with string and that's the way I've done it as well.

I would NEVER consider serving this pudding without the sauce; they are a pair.  The pudding is light, only faintly sweet and studded with bright cranberries.  The sauce is rich, sweet and sumptuous.  Both can be made well ahead and rewarmed before serving which makes it quite convenient for holiday dining.

Leila's Steamed Cranberry Pudding with Butter Sauce
1 cup fresh cranberries

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

2 tsp baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup molasses
1/2 cup light syrup

1/2 cup boiling water

Mix dry ingredients then add cranberries then liquid.  Steam in well greased cans.  Tie cans with several thicknesses of wax paper on top.  Place cans in pan of hot water and cover.  Steam cans from 1 1/2 to 2 hrs.  A double recipe  makes two No. 2 1/2 cans and one No. 2.

Butter Sauce:  1 cup sugar; 1/2 cup cream; 1/2 cup butter.  Mix & boil enough to blend and serve hot over pudding.

There are two things I remember about Leila Anderson.  First of all, she was such a kind, loving mentor and secondly, was her love of baking and cooking.  Even though she passed away at such a young age, I am certain that her legacy has lived on into the second generation and beyond.

I hope that you are enjoying the fruits of your heritage this Christmas and are passing down traditions as well as making new ones.  As for me ... it's time to start spending more time in the kitchen!!

Miss Dottie

PS 

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Merrryyyy  Christmassss...
Now bring on some cheer!!!!!

 

 

 

 

The double edged sword of 12/14

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”~~Revelation 21:4

December 15, 2012

It's a rainy dank morning in Central Texas.  The news of yesterday's massacre of 20 small children and 6 adults in a Connecticut elementary school broke the hearts of America.  Details of the man wielding two guns are emerging but we will probably never know what really was going through the mind of a young man filled with anger and hate.

One thing I am sure of ... this morning the parents, grandparents, siblings, and friends of those murdered are reeling wondering "Why?".  I cannot in my wildest dreams imagine the horror they are experiencing this Christmas Season.

Last night, Michael and I headed north to Plano to attend The Gift of Christmas ~~ a musical production put on by Prestonwood Church.  Before the show began, Pastor Jack Graham addressed the tragedy of the day praying for the families of those in mourning.  As pastors, when something like this happens, they immediately get messages of ... "My faith is tested." ... "Why would God allow this to happen to innocent children?"

The media is reporting other times of mass murders noted in the history books.  Before guns, movies, video games, and the Internet, the question as to the source of evil has been on the table.  It is out of our heart that murders originates.  The world is fallen, broken, and depraved.  The world is evil period.

We cannot erase the tragedy and pretend it didn't happen.  It's times like this that our nation and it's people need hope ... need a Savior ... need comfort.  One day, we will be free from these anxieties.  One day we will be free from getting calls from people who say, "Are you watching the news?" as fear makes our hearts drop.   No longer will we be crying out to God, "Why?"  And no longer will we be expected to bear the anxieties and sadness of people whom we have never met.  I look forward to that day.

The double edge sword?  Last night was also a time of coming together as a family to enjoy the promise of the Savior.  The Gift of Christmas offered a time of appreciating those we love and cherish while celebrating all that Christmas is about.  I have a friend who was in the choir and she said that before the performance they all were burdened with heavy hearts.  That burden fueled a performance that was filled with emotion of the deepest kind.  Those voices (1,200 strong), actors, dancers, and people behind the scene gave their all.  After sitting for a 2+ hour performance, my grandson looked at me and said, "If we clap long enough will they do an encore?"  As angels soared through the air, there was that sense of knowing that God was in the midst of the tragedy.

As for me and my family, we serve an awesome God.  Last night, we laughed, we hugged, we broke bread, we teared up, and we celebrated our togetherness.  I looked upon my husband, son, daughter in law, and my grandsons with love.  For that moment in time, I was filled with a love born of tragedy.

Merry Christmas, Readers!  At times when we, as humans, cannot understand the "Why?" let us remember that is exactly why God sent his only son.

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!

Miss Dottie

PS  To those who lost their lives on 12/14:  "How very softly you tiptoed into our world, almost silently, only a moment you stayed.  But what an imprint your footsteps have left upon our hearts."  Dorothy Ferguson

It's a Scottie Kind of Christmas!

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

~~Luke 2:14 (KJV)

December 14, 2012


Merry Christmas and a Good Morning, Readers!  Countdown continues at Seidler house to Christmas.  I absolutely love this time of year.

I opened my eyes this morning and smiled.  Not only was it my favorite day of the week, it was THE DAY we were going north to take in the Gift of Christmas pageant at Prestonwood Church in Plano.  The church seats 7,000 and the performance (as well as all performances) is sold out.  There will be live camels, peacocks, singing voices of 1,200 and on and on.  Do you see why I am not just excited but ecstatic?!!

Some years ago, I saw a man walking down Frankfort Road in Dallas leading a black dog in a plaid jacket.  I just had to pull over and ask him what kind of dog it was.  The dog's name was Angus and he was a handsome Scottish Terrier.  Every now and then I thought about how beautiful the Scottie was and wondered about being a Scottie owner.

I don't remember talking much about my love of the Scottie but in August 2004, Michael gave me a beautiful Scottie puppy as an anniversary gift.  I was sooo excited as we pulled up to the door of the breeder's home.  There, in the kitchen, were 7 Scottie puppies!  They had mom and dad on site and the puppies had been socialized well with adults as well as children.  I knew I wanted a female and had the pick of Fiona or Bonnie.  Fiona became our puppy and we named her Sadie.

In a day's time, we were hooked on our Scottie. We looked for plaid coats, collars and leashes.  Sadie made Christmas that year extra special ~~ she was funny, playful, and smart. She loved the tree and spent hours laying under the lights. In turn, we oohed and aahed over her spoiling her rotten.

We didn't know much about the Scottie and soon found out that the Scottish Terrier is a stubborn breed with a mind of it's own.  As she has grown older, she has become quite bold, confident, and dignified.  She loves to be groomed and her heads up, tails up attitude has made her a favorite with groomers.  Petsmart gives out report cards ... hers always has stars and complements.  We always ask if the groomer knows how to groom a Scottish Terrier because when Sadie get a bad "do," she hangs her head and hides for days.

Friendly and playful as a puppy, Sadie matured into a bold, jaunty, yet steady and dignified adult ~~ she can be quite crusty and independent at times.  One thing about Sadie ... we know NOT to have her off leash.  If a squirrel, rabbit, bird, cat, or another dog catches her eye, she is off to the races paying no mind to where she is going.

As with many Scottie owners, we have made it a tradition to purchase a Scottie Christmas ornament each year.  Some of my favorites are made by artist Jim Shore.  My winter pajamas have Scotties on them and I'm always on the lookout for a Scottie sweater!

As Christmas approaches, I am so grateful for my precious Sadie.  She makes my life merry and bright!  If you are a pet lover, you know exactly what I mean!!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

PS  Francis G. Lloyd: “All dogs are good; any terrier is better; a Scottie is best.

The Gift of Life

December 12, 2012

Today is 12-12-12, the last major numerical date using the Gregorian or Christian calendar for almost another century. The next time three numbers will align as they on 9-9-09, 10-10-10 and 11-11-11 will be on Jan. 1, 3001, or 1-1-1. Just thought I'd throw that little tidbit it.  LOL

Anyway, come on in ... it's nearly dark and I've got the fire going and the Christmas lights on.  I just got home from the nursing home a little bit ago.  Tomorrow night is the family dinner for residents at the nursing home.  I got a new Christmas sweater for mom to wear so I took it over to her. 

Mom was laying in her bed facing the wall, pillows tucked all around her.   She looked so tiny and frail.  I stood there for a moment thinking about this year and wondering if we would make it through another year with her.  I could tell that her eyes were open and I gently nudged her, "Mom, it's me."  Her eyes got big and she held out her arms.  I hugged her and told her that I brought presents for her.  She grinned,  "For me?"

Mom has Sundowner's Syndrome and I knew we had a short block of time before it kicked in and her clarity of mind would fade.  We giggled and laughed and talked about the dinner and how beautiful she would be in her new sweater.  She held on to my hand and begged me to never forget her. 

That did it, my eyes welled with tears and I held her close promising I would always remember her and how special she is (I can't bring myself to say, "was").  Then, she looked at me and said, "I thank God for you; you are my angel."  By that time, we both were crying ... one of us knowing that life was soon coming to an end and the other wishing that we'd have a lot more time.  All of a sudden, her eyes glazed over and she began to babble and speak loudly.  She still knew me but she became angry ... about her failing body, the nursing care, the woman who came into her room at night and put odd things on her nightstand ...  I hugged her, told her I loved her and that I would see her tomorrow.  It was time for me to leave and allow her to rest.



Mom & Me ~~ November 2012

As I walked out of Mom's room, I blew her one final kiss and said, "See you tomorrow."  She looked up with a puzzled look on her face and said, "How will you find me?"  I assured her that I would always be able to find her and not to worry.  As I have cared for her the past ten years, I have come to love her as deeply as I would my own mother.  At first, she seemed so needy ... the spoiled Southern Belle.  Then, one day, I realized that she was a blessing not a burden ... she hadn't changed, I had.

 

Mom & Me ~~ February 2012

I laughed remembering Mom on Mardi Gras, St. Patrick's Day, Mother's Day, 4th of July...  How chipper she was and excited about the holiday at hand.  I think of her now and pray that we will be able to attend the resident's Christmas dinner tomorrow night.  We'll try ... if Sundowners hits, we might just have to take our plates and eat upstairs in her room.  We will celebrate the gift of life ... of being with Mom!!  One day at a time, Mom, one day at a time!

My Mom & Her Mom

I was very young when my father passed away and still young when my mother passed. I mourned their deaths, especially my mother's. We had so much unfinished business that needed to be addressed. I'd love to be able to pick up the phone and hear her voice. I'd love to be able to rub her back and take her for another ride around Lake Minnewaska. There are so many questions I'd ask ... not in a threatening way but in a loving, caring way. The good Lord placed me in the right family and formed me. My parents gave me the best parts of each of them ... the gift of life.

It is at Christmas that we think about the baby Jesus and the magic of his birth. God the Father blessed us with his only Son that He would breathe life into our dead souls. What a gift He gave us! And so, it is with us ... we are created by our Creator for a purpose ... we are given the gift of life. We are placed into homes not by accident but with purpose. Oh, you might say ... "Well, I sure got a bum deal ... I was abused and poor and well, you can't imagine what I went through." My reply is always ... "God doesn't make mistakes and if He brings you to it, He will bring you through it."

You see, I trust in God and I have faith in him knowing that he sees the big picture.This Christmas, let's not forget those who God has entrusted to us to love and care for. Let's not forget those laying in hospital beds wishing they could get up and walk. Life is so fragile and in the wink of an eye those we love are gone. No more phone calls, letters ... they are but memories and those good intentions we had? Gone...

I am feeling kind of nostalgic tonight.  I get that way after a trip to the nursing home.  It makes me appreciate my own mobility and clarity of mind.  It makes me want to pack all I can into my days ... living and loving as Christ intended.

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

PS  “The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.” -Andy Rooney

Silent Night...

"Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world."~~Psalm 46:10

December 10, 2012

The night air is crisp and downright cold.  The North Wind has been whipping through all day making being outside next to miserable.  I went out to mail a couple boxes early afternoon and to pick up some net lights for the bushes outside the cottage.  Until I get my packages off to family, I feel pretty unsettled ... they are important to me and I want them to know I am thinking of them as they open gifts Christmas morning.  One more box to go out tomorrow and I can heave a sigh of relief.

Last night I spent some time in the cottage ... I read, prayed, and sang along to the Christmas music playing on the Bose.  I lit a fire and cuddled up with Toby ... Sadie curled up close to the fire on her blanket.  It was so peaceful.  Just before I went to bed, I shut off the music, lights, and peered out the french doors at the lighted tree just outside in the garden.  For a moment in time, everything was so ... still.  All of a sudden, in rapid fire, my mind raced through Christmas's of the past 65 years...  Yet, even with the rapid fire, I was so ... still.  I had this sense of well-being, of inner joy, and the knowledge that in each of those 65 Christmas's, Jesus was a big part of my life.  I've never not known Him.  What's even better is that Jesus has always known me!!

There are times when I must retreat into my shell of solitude.  Some years ago, I had the privilege of attending a retreat called A Walk to Emmaus.  We had blocks of time of complete silence responding to bells much like monks do.  At first, it was tough not opening my mouth ... then, I began to understand...  It is in stillness that we come before the Lord with our hearts and minds open ... the time where we are most vulnerable and are able to hear when God speaks to us.  It was then that I asked the Lord to put me on his front line.  I put on the full armor of God and have never regretted my decision.  Shortly after my walk, I became a Stephens Minister ... then, went on to serve on the first Board of Directors to open a women's shelter in Collin County, Texas.  My purpose has been to come alongside others ... to comfort ... to encourage ... to bless...  It all started with stillness...

This Christmas I pray you will set aside some time to be still and know that God IS God.  He is the reason for the season ...

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

PS  “And when we give each other Christmas gifts in His name, let us remember that He has given us the sun and the moon and the stars, and the earth with its forests and mountains and oceans--and all that lives and move upon them. He has given us all green things and everything that blossoms and bears fruit and all that we quarrel about and all that we have misused--and to save us from our foolishness, from all our sins, He came down to earth and gave us Himself.”~~Sigrid Undset

PSS  Recognize Hamilton Elf?  He makes me smile!!

Nightmare on Franklin Street

December 6, 2012

Woo Wee ... I was glad to wake up this morning.  Have you ever had nightmares?  I haven't in a long while but last night my dreams were full of them.  Several times, I woke up, sweat on my brow, and my heart pounding wildly.  Everything was so vivid ... so awful ... so terrifying ... so frantic!  When I woke up about 7:30, I looked out the window and it was foggy and so eerie.  Gave me the creeps! 

I don't know about you but my nightmares usually come from the residue of an unresolved issue.  When working through my childhood trauma issues and young adult issues, I had recurring nightmares.  As my life unfolded, I suffered a lot of anxiety which affected my nights and my days.  I kept on wading through the muck and mire and eventually the nightmares subsided.  I was surprised to have one pop up again last night.  I was trying to remember the whole dream but only snippets remain.  I do remember a man with lipstick and nail polish on his fingernails ... I remember looking for my son as a little boy of ten ... I remember having to catch a plane, packing frantically, and a woman who had borrowed my ticket forgetting to give it back to me.  Lots of thrashing about ... trying to make deadlines ... emotional tears ... a red dress taken away... betrayal...  Makes me shudder just writing this all down.

My sinuses have been giving me fits for several weeks.  Thought I could self medicate but think it's about time to cry, "Uncle" and get some antibiotics.  My equilibrium is being affected so, at times, I look like I've had one too many drinks!  Nightmares ... sinus ... hmmm ... time to get on top of things and find some JOY!

All that aside, today will be a busy day. Michael is holding a Christmas Open House at the college bookstore and asked if I would drop by. They borrowed my Bose radio so they could play Christmas music and are having all sorts of goodies to munch on so think I will head on over about 11. He has two very creative young ladies working for him and I am anxious to see the Christmas tree they made out of books and lighted garland.  (Since I am posting this 12/7, here is a photo of Michael, the Bookstore Manager at the college in Cleburne, & the infamous tree.  Pretty cool, I think!)

We are about to get a cold front on Sunday and should get our first freeze.  I love the cold (for a few days) and then am ready for it to warm up again.  Last year at this time, we had snow in North Texas.  I don't think we will see much snow now that we are further South ... bummers!  I still don't have my lights up around the cottage ... I think I should finish that today.  I had some challenges but I think I've figured out how to resolve my dilemma.

My gardens are starting to take on the appearance of Winter -- a time of rest for the trees, shrubs, and perennials.  Won't be long and I will need to gather some good books and indoor projects to keep me occupied. 

Do you think Jesus had nightmares about what his purpose was on earth OR, do you think He rested in knowing that his father in heaven would deliver him from the pain of unresolved issues and betrayal?  Luke 22:24 says, "And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground."  His way?  "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." ~~Luke 23:34  Today, I am praying to be more like Jesus knowing that He knew all I would endure in this life, molding me and making me more like him.  I was looking at pictures of the babe in the manger today and singing songs of thanksgiving ... songs of peace on earth good will to men.

My nightmare was a reminder how dependent I am on my Savior, my Redeemer, my Lord who keeps me whole...  I thank God for the bad times because those were the times I grew the most!!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

PS  He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.~~Roy L. Smith