Acts of Kindness

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Good Morning, Readers!  I hope that you are enjoying this fine March day.  Every time I wake up and realize that I am alive and kickin', I know that it's going to be a great day no matter what happens.  My day will be a blank slate upon which I can make my mark whether it be a small one or a big smash.

Like most folks, most of my days aren't extreme ups and downs ... I don't do well with a steady diet of  of either living in the pit of life or soaring in the skies.  Somehow, I've managed to learn that what I do today affects my tomorrows.  If I do what I can do to stay balanced, my days of stress overload are fewer.  The blessing of having Fibromyalgia is that I needed to do things differently in my life ... it's been tough at best BUT the results have all been good.

Do you practice random acts of kindness?  My neighbor, Beverly, is good at that.  We barely got here Thursday, and she sent her husband, Don, over with a plate of lemonade cookies.  As I mentioned a few days ago in my blog, Don brought over a jacket for one of the moving crew.  They anticipate and see needs that others have and love helping out.

I am and always have been a giving person.  I love putting a smile on faces. You know it doesn't take much to offer someone a glass of water when it's hot or a shoulder to cry on when someone is sad.  A couple days ago a Facebook friend, Maxi, posted a comment on the classes she was taking in the Stephens Ministry.  It took me back to the 1980's when I went through the year long Stephen's Ministry classes.  "We supply the caring, God supplies the cure."  I heard that over and over.  How can we minister to others if we jump in the hole with them?  We can't.  Helping is not taking over someone else's life, it's seeing them through it.  Often times, I think that God took me through so many valleys so that I could empathize with others going through the same thing.  Each time I am able to minister in a situation, I thank God for the hard times.

About a week ago, I watched the movie Pay It Forward.  I didn't realize that I would need a box of Kleenex at the end!  I love the whole concept of pay it forward.  Wouldn't it be a wonderful world if we all practiced this idea?  It seems like we often times do the opposite ... someone does us wrong and we up the ante to get them back ... we get our claws out and want to make them suffer as well as anyone else that comes into our path.  Life becomes a battle zone rather than a haven of peace.  There are the passive aggressive folks and the enraged folks who yell and scream.  What do you get?  Stomach problems, depression, aggression, headaches, relationship issues...  I've had my share of those and when I am attacked by any one of those, I stop and ask myself what I'm not dealing with.  To sweep something (or someone) under the rug only means having to deal with a bigger issue later.

Some years ago, I had a very dear friend who was very helpful to me when I was doing through a very painful divorce and time in my life.  I loved her as a sister and could depend on her to rally around me.  Something very strange happened that still puzzles me.  We met one evening for dessert and she said, "Dottie, you aren't living your life, the way I think you should and I must end our friendship."  Her pushing me away just because I didn't follow her rules, astounded me.  I was doing nothing morally or ethically wrong and her chastisement was puzzling to me.  God gives us free will and allows us to take the consequences of our choices ... shouldn't we do the same?  Is love based on you do it my way or else?  I think not.

Acts of Kindness with strings attached aren't really acts of kindness, they are meant to manipulate and control.  Now, it is good manners to say thank you but so many times, good manners go by the wayside.  Miss Manners has all but disappeared from our present society.  To me, a gift without a thank you means "I am entitled" but that's just my opinion.  Do I stop giving if I never get a thank you?  No, I don't...  What I do do is live my own life being appreciative.

My daughter and her family gave me a wonderful camera for my sixty-fifth birthday.  My old camera had seen better days and I was limping along with it.  When I opened the box, the tears flowed and I couldn't believe my eyes.  It was a great camera but more than that, it enabled me to take better photos for my blog.  It gave me an opportunity to share with others and that meant so much to me.  It makes me think of that adage, "give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

Life is truly about growing and learning.  It's about falling down over and over and getting up to try again.  We are only failures when we stop trying to raise up above our circumstances.  The world is full of people who gave up ... threw in the towel ... and, gave in to their vices.  They develop chips on their shoulders and think the world is against them ... they use drugs, alcohol, sex or anything else to cover their pain.  Any act of random kindness is seen as a hand out and misery reigns in their lives.  The effort they put into being a victim would take them to the top of their game if they would allow it.  Misery is a choice!

Let's not play the blame game shall we?  Let's take some time today to truly look inside our own lives and experience ourselves as others see us.  If what they are seeing is true, then let's own up to it and do some growing.  If not, thank them for their right to speak their mind and move on.  We don't have to agree to be respectful of someone else's opinion.  It's a whole lot more fun, to experience life to the fullest ... to celebrate who we were and how we've grown.

I will be blogging from the little casa from this day forward (or from the casita when it is finished).  It's been raining every day since we've moved so working outside has been limited.  I did get the back patio set up and look forward to many mornings of having my coffee outside listening to the birds sing and watching the squirrels race from tree to tree.  One thing is for certain, it's sure a lot easier to upsize rather than downsize!!  Actually, once we get things in order and the casita done, we will be perfectly okay!!

Love and blessings to all of you this day!!

Miss Dottie