Oh, it’s a great morning to be outside tending my gardens! When I moved, I brought two yellow rose bushes from my gardens with me. They are doing well and are covered with blooms. As I was looking at the bushes, I started humming The Yellow Rose of Texas! Gotta love that song!! All of a sudden, my mind changed directions and I was curious about who was reading my blogs. Blogspot has a site where I can look to see the areas that I am reaching. I ran indoors to check it out. I have readers in the United States including Alaska, Canada, Russia, United Kingdom, Germany, Costa Rica, Denmark, Singapore, Canada, Philippines, and Latvia. I am in awe... Thank you for tuning in and listening to me rattle on and on as I share my life with you !!
On the flip side, to gossip, to lie, and to mislead can also be a way of communicating who we are... As much as I say that I am not a gossiper, God has convicted me over and over that I am. If I say I have no sin in certain areas, God is sure to wake me up saying ... "Well, remember when you...." (See 1 John 1:8) I am more aware these days wanting to tame my tongue and my writing to reflect truth. I need to be very careful remembering that my blog is my story not someone else's. I can only say how certain behavior affected me and my life.
Over the past years, I have prayed for truth to be revealed -- in myself and in situations that I am in need of confirmation to make decisions. I have been bold in my pleading -- almost too bold in some areas -- and the Lord has said, "No, you do not need to know." Some years ago, I was cleaning house and I came across a diary. I had a decision to make. Should I put it down or should I open it. To this day, I'm not sure what I did was right. I read words of "I hate her" and accounts of deception and pain. Truth? I guess so... When I write in my own private journals, I pour out my feelings and accounts of the day. Should I be privy to someone else’s writing? It was a discovery that changed me -- for the better, I might add, but it still stung. To hear someone that I loved say "I hate her" brought tears and sadness that still haunts me.
There comes a time in life, where we need to be able to hear words spewed out at us in anger, dissect them, and either toss them or learn and grow. I am fortunate, my children and I are very open with one another. We tackle the tough stuff knowing that love will carry us to new heights in communicating in truth. We ask for clarification and give each other permission to speak from the heart. There are times we preface our conversations with ... "I just need a listening ear" Unless, I am asked for advice, I usually bite my tongue and don't give it. There are a few areas though when I step in as matriarch of the family and say, "Wait, a minute ... what you are doing is hurtful and against what you've been brought up to believe as a Christian." I think that's my responsibility as a parent. When my family is heading for a brick wall, I think its okay to say ... "Whoa!" I also learn from my family and I trust them explicitly knowing they have my best interests at heart.
Michael and I struggle with communication. I am from Venus, he is from Mars. I am bold; he would rather sweep things under the rug. I am open, he is quite private. There are times that he would like to strangle me and vice versa. Our years together have been of struggle and growth ... four steps forward, two back ... we're making progress. We were brought up in two different areas of the country and have different ways of approaching life. I challenge him and he is getting better at being more forthright.
When one partner gets well, the dynamics of the partnership changes. When light comes into a relationship, darkness cannot dwell in the same space. Michael is a psychology major so he understands the concept of a dark spirits vs. good spirits. We've both learned that understanding is one thing, living a life of openness and is another. I will say this, the only one who could fill the empty holes in my heart was the Lord. It is He that gives me joy and self-worth. It is He who directs my tongue and convicts me.
What we choose to hear is selective. Remember, we choose!! Embedded in my brain are personal memories, experiences, beliefs, values, vulnerabilities, emotion and attitudes that easily distort my ability to separate myself from my best business and personal choices. No matter what happened to us, we are all on the journey of life. Each individual is responsible for his or her own choices. We usually get what we expect in life. If you don't expect a whole lot, guess what?! If you expect respect and blessings, guess what then?!! I prefer the later to the former and life is good...
We don't have to remain broken. If we do, we -- not our parents, are responsible for that choice. I have committed myself to learning truth about my own family of origin, their influences and control; about personal choices and change. I am no longer carrying the burdens of the dysfunction, I took the good … I am my own person and I like that…
What does The Great Commission mean to you? God has gifted us all in different areas ... use your talents to spead the Good News. I declare this Be Your Own Person Day. Think about what YOU are about … what you like and don’t like. Be bold in knowing who you are and what you stand for. You need to be your own version of you NOT someone else's!!
Miss Dottie
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| Even as a toddler, I had my own style and was my own person!! How about you?? |
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ReplyDeleteI love that picture of you--just a child at play. There is even a little stuffed animal in the background. You can tell it was a warm, sunny day from your outfit and your eyes are squinting from the bright sky. I am sure kids cherished the summer in MN. The winters can be quite harsh and to feel the warmth of the sun on your skin must have been heaven.
ReplyDeleteThe words you write are so true. Each of us has our own passions and purpose. To live each day as the 'best version of ourselves' is not easy.
Feelings are a funny thing. We can ache with sorrow or pain, elate with joy and love, and crash with fatigue in the same day. The word 'hate' is so strong that I can understand why it stung. Of course, I would feel the same if I read that in a diary. Yet, I wonder what was going on in the diary writer's life?... Something outside of you must have caused them so much pain and possibly you were the only person in their life to tag. Not an excuse (and I have no idea who you are talking about), but the reality of their pain.
On a brighter note- your blogs continue to offer spiritual light to the world. Continue.....I love the personal stories you have been writing about ... seems like the blogs get more raw and honest--your spunk, creativity, love, and energy are exemplified in your words.