Notes of the Past

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Good Morning, Readers!  What a night.  Sadie has allergies and itched and scratched all night -- Toby gets in a snit when she is miserable and was trying to make her feel better by cleaning her ears.  In between scratches, itches, and the licking of ears, they wanted to go outside.  Phew!!

Our shaggy dogren had appointments with a new groomer at 8 bells.  I'm sure that they will feel much better with their Winter coats gone.  The groomer here is at the vets office so she was going to make sure they got checked over for fleas and if Sadie had bad spots of itching, the vet will take a look.  The dogren love getting groomed and having their teeth brushed.  They'll be strutting their stuff and ready for a photo shoot when they get home about noon.

I did some packing of garage sale items yesterday and arranged my tubs neatly in the storm shelter.  I'm so glad that we had the shelter painted and sealed.  It's a perfect place to store important papers and seasonal decorations.  I will continue what I started yesterday hoping to get the garage cleaned out and ready for Lupe to begin the process of turning a sow's ear into my lovely Woman Cave!!

As usual, I was dragging when I went to bed last night.  That little voice inside of me was prompting me to pick up my Daily Walk Bible.  To be totally honest, I wasn't quite up for reading I Chronicles 1-9 (lists of names of David's family tree) and began paging through my Bible reading passages that were highlighted and notes in the margins.

One note I had penned on June 24, 2006 caught my eye.  Let me share it with you:  "Lord, for years I have been a seeker.  I stumble and fall, repent - try again - fall - then repeat the pattern.  Beth Moore said of her husband: 'You are a much better man healed than you would have been well.'  Maybe someday someone would say that of me.  I do love you, Lord and I stand on your word and promises.  Bless Bill and Ivey P for giving me this book.  Go with me this day and fill me with joy and gladness.  In Jesus name I pray."

Being a Christian who loves the Lord is a process.  I have been and am a work in progress.  I am a also a perfectionist in all that I do.  Now, this can be a good thing but it can also be a not so good thing.  The good part is that when I tackle anything whether it's a project or living life, I put body and soul into it.  It's made me excel in many areas of life.  The not so good part is that I will do and redo projects going beyond what is acceptable, slowing me down.  I recognize my perfectionism and where it came from (performance based affection as a child).  I wanted so badly to be loved and accepted and that was how I got any kind of affirmation.  To fail at anything was unacceptable.  I lived a guilt and shame filled life.  When I did something wrong, not only was I punished at home but I punished myself even more telling myself that I wasn't okay.

It took many many years for me to realize that I was a human being saved by grace.  No matter what I did, God would not withhold love from me.  I wanted to be like Him ... not like anyone else.  I took the class, The Mind of Christ, and really took the time to examine my thoughts.  At first, I saw everything in the world that was wrong with me.  I felt like the road ahead was going to be a long one.  You know what?  One night as I was praying,  I felt a warm glow come into my chest and I realized that Christ died on the cross to save sinners like me.  He loved me enough to die for me.  With that kind of love, I knew I wasn't junk ... someone who deserved a miserable life of punishment.  From that day on, I had this newness of life.  Oh sure, I was and am still a perfectionist and I screw up daily; yet, I know that I am worth respect, love, and caring.  Once I began to love myself as Christ loved me, the road to wellness got a whole lot easier.

My son shared a story with me yesterday and it brought such a wonderful peace to my heart.  It was bedtime and he was checking on Zachary and Nicholas.  He quietly climbed up the ladder of Zachary's bunk bed and saw the little guy on his knees, his hands folded.  Zachary was praying in the stillness of his room.  He and Tommy talked a few minutes and Tommy told him that although Zachary's home runs and throws in baseball were exhilarating and wonderful, this moment was the highlight of his day.  My son is a man of God, a great leader, and a loving father.  I thought about this moment in time when I read that note from June of 2006.  Tommy is a much better man healed than he would have been well.  He has been transformed by the renewing of his mind in Christ Jesus.  I have tears rolling down my face as I write this.  Family-For Better or Worse ... yes, we are family!!

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!!

I leave you with Psalm 128:5-6.  "May the Lord continually bless you with heaven's blessings as well as with human joys.  May you live to enjoy your grandchildren!  And may God bless Israel."

Always know you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

PS:  I declare this a make a phone call day.  Is there someone who could use a bit of cheering up?  Is there a perfectionist in your life who thinks they are only as good as what they do?  Maybe, just maybe, it's time to let them know that they are loved and cherished for who they are ... a perfect creation ... a beautiful work in progress!