Well, hello to you, my Readers! The birds are squawking all around me. Mr. Robin decided to take his bath in the fountain next to the patio. I was watching him do his movin' and a groovin' in the water. He would sit on the edge then move into the water ... he'd flutter his wings and sing a song ... he would hop up and down making little splashes! I laughed. It brought back memories of when I lived in Frisco. I loved to do my gardening then jump into the pool to cool off ... with an eight foot board on board fence around the backyard, I didn't need to be concerned about who would be watching me and saying how silly I looked.
The animals and birds in nature are so free. They just do what comes naturally. Children are like that too, they just are ... they love unconditionally and show their real feelings. Have you seen those baby videos where the baby moves and grooves to music? They are hilarious!! Children entertain us and amaze us...
When my first daughter was born, I would sit for hours waiting for that first smile, that first laugh, that first word... I hung on to her every movement just looking at her. She was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. I pinned her blankets around her so she wouldn't get smothered and guarded her like a hawk. She sat up, I clapped ... she spit out her first words, I called everyone I knew. Coonskin cap and all, she moved and grooved to her own music of life and I was putty in her little hands. When my second daughter was born, I started all over being in awe ... this little blond was demure ... a girly girl. She swirled around the room movin' and a groovin' in her prissy slip, lace panties and socks. Oh gosh, then came my son ... the girls looked at him for hours and so did I. I'm not sure his feet touched the ground til he was almost one!! I learned quite quickly that little boys are different than little girls ... his movin' and a groovin' was done with a ball (any kind) in his chubby little fists. If you're a mother you know what I'm talking about as I pen these words. I moved and grooved to the sound of my children ... each step, each milestone reached, each hurt, each dance of life...
When I went through my childhood trauma therapy, I wondered if anyone watched me with awe, loving me and oohing and aahing at my silly little antics. I know I was wanted but once babies arrive, there's no sending them back if they aren't what you thought you were in for. That being said, I know I was born into the right family 'cause God put me there. Today, I know that by the grace of God, I had and have purpose. If it took nearly sixty years for me to be where I am today, it was worth it. To be whole and happy "in spite of" is my own miracle. To be able to come outside and dance as I garden is freeing... To be able to look at nature and breathe in the freshness of my todays is exhilarating!! To gain confidence and be able to just be me is wonderful!!! I don't have to do my movin' and groovin' to the tune of your drum or anyone else's. I've never been a follower and have often been a trail blazer -- I'm not afraid to walk through the muddy waters to get to Eden on the other side! Life's an adventure ... remember?
My own family of origin didn't talk much. They didn't gush much or get too excited about things. Life rolled along pretty much on an even keel. If my mom and dad argued, I don't remember it ... I do remember the silence though. As an adult when I visited, there still was this silence... I know my mom and dad weren't like that growing up and as young adults so I wonder what happened. The depression happened, the war happened, death of their fathers happened at early ages ... they weathered a lot of storms and I think those storms took their toll. I watched a program on television some time ago about the soldiers returning home from war and how they were having hard times reentering life as they once knew it. Soldiers returning from WWII, came home and immediately got married. They weren't the same men who left and sweethearts felt the change. As I have healed, I have understood my parents more and have been able to love them knowing they were mine ... my mom and my dad. Because of God's love for me, I could do that and feel the love deep within my heart. Oh, it doesn't make emotional abandonment right and it never will. What happened was that I was able to take the good, leave the not so good, and offer others the love I so badly wanted to have and experience.
I would like to think sometimes, that I had a hand in how my family is different. They've seen me struggle and grow and in the midst of the craziest of times; they always knew that I loved them. We are separate human beings who call ourselves "family - for better or worse." When they were little, I introduced them to the man who would be their constant companion and who would love and protect them in a perfect way. Jesus says, "Bring the little children unto me..." (Matthew 19:14) I am not their rock, He is...
Oh yes, I am a movin' and a groovin', laughin' and a singin' ... Just thinking about the song from yesteryear makes me want to call up my girlfriends, make a hot dog pizza, and talk all night. Come next July, we will rendezvous in Minnesota and have a rip roaring time of fun. Isn't that awesome, Readers? I still have my childhood friends and we've rock and rolled through life coming together as seniors still filled with spunk!! Now that's deep friendship!!!
Until next time, take a go at looking at the sunny side of life. Keep your sense of humor handy when life throws you a curve ball. We're never too old to grab the blessings of life and share them with others.
Miss Dottie
Life events definitely change people. It is amazing how some come through difficult times with the same smile and positive attitude as they had before the event. Hmmm- why is that?? Not sure-guess some are better at letting go and others hold onto the bad memories.
ReplyDeleteHolly (from McKinney) is so young and talented. Yes, you are right, she is missing some of the entertainment gifts that Skylar and Joshua have...oh my gosh love Skylar and Joshua. Yet, last week it was Jessica that brought tears to my eyes when she sang, To Dance with my Father Again. That girl can sing!!
Thanks for writing~
XXOO
Jane