Maddy Belle takes Texas by storm!

Maddy Belle 7/29/2012

July 30, 2012


In case you haven't noticed in my blogs, I love my grandchildren aged 15, 9, 8, and 6.  I can't get enough of entering into their lives as they are growing up into their big adult bodies.  There are times when I am jealous of them.  I realize that so many times I was rushed through life wishing I was grown up.


My fifteen year old granddaughter made her way from Tampa, Florida to Dallas, Texas to spend a couple weeks with me.  She's always lived a long distance from me so this is a first...  It is different having her here rather than me going to visit her and her family.  After a few days of excitement and formalities, we are down to really getting to know one another.  Our little town in Central Texas may never be the same!!

Miss Dottie Belle 1964

I remember what it was like being a teenager in the 1960's and what it was like raising three teenagers in the 1980's and 1990's.  Looking back, being a teenager in Glenwood, Minnesota was quite simple compared to now.  I was lucky to have a group of close friends, a smaller group of even closer friends, and a very best friend.  Secrets?  No such thing ... everyone in town knew everything about everyone.  There were party lines -- I giggle now thinking how many people loved to pick up their phones just to get the newest gossip.  The closest thing to privacy was my diary where I could pen my thoughts.  I hid my books under my mattress hoping they wouldn't be discovered and read aloud at the dinner table!  That did happen a time or two!!

Madison 6/2012

I grabbed Madison by the hand late this morning and led her to the couch for a chat -- I was hoping that she would enlighten me me about today's teenagers. Do teenagers still get up at the crack of dawn to make sure hair is just so before going off to school?  Do they still have fights with their parents while struggling to find themselves and dream of going off to college.  I wasn't disappointed.  I think I was able to gain some insight into her fascinating world remembering more vividly what it was like for me back then.  Times change, teenaged feelings and struggles don't...

As a grandparent, my purpose is not to be a substitute parent.  I asked my daughter what the rules were for the visit.   She said, "Your rules..."  Oh, oh...  In some ways, I probably am more strict ... in other ways, much more lenient.  I'm pretty much a free spirited lady -- on the flip side, I have definite moral and ethical convictions.  I just love watching my grandchildren spread their wings and discover what their passions are.  Madison wants another piercing on her ear -- I wish I could say yes.  She wants a small tattoo on her shoulder -- I wish we could both get  one.  Don't worry, Jane and Tim, I am holding myself back (giggle).  I have issues with the skin tight jeans and shorts and shirts that don't cover the belly.  Somehow, I think ladies are more alluring with more clothes on than off.  I am sure Madison and I will come to a meeting of the minds -- we're going out this afternoon to do a little shopping.  I wonder if Dress Barn will have anything that appeals to a 15 year old!!

Nutella Brownies are yummy!
Chef Maddy at work!!

I had to admit to Madison that I really didn't know her nor did she know me.  We agreed that we had to start somewhere and decided that respect was important so that's where we began.  We laughed, cried, and, in the end, decided that we had something good going on.  I was able to share some snippits of my journey of life and she shared some of hers.  Don't you just love it when people are real?  We declared no topics off limits but set some boundaries.  We did a pinky shake and promised to be there for each other today and always.  It was a moment I will treasure as long as I live!

Our pasts can either make us better or bitter.  I never heard my mother and father say they loved me -- rather than allow my pain to fester, I made a conscious decision to tell my children and grandchildren that I love them at every available opportunity.  I value them; I love them unconditionally; and, am their most ardent cheerleader.  I was far from being the perfect parent nor am I a perfect grandparent.  I screw up and hope that my apologies are accepted when I say I miss the mark.  Sometimes they are, sometimes not...  Either way, I keep on doing my best, hoping the successes outweigh the oops!

I am so glad I have become comfortable in my own skin.  Likewise, I am so glad that I have had the opportunity to be a parent and a grandparent.  It has been important to me to prune out some of the crud from my family of origin and graft on new branches.  Golly gee ... my family tree gets prettier and prettier!  More than ever, I believe in Family - for better or worse!

Relationships take work, lots of grace, and a willingness to grow separately together.  Remember the old saying, "Children should be seen not heard?"  Well, that's not true.  I learn so much from my children and grandchildren.  I want to hear them ... I want to know what is whirling around in their minds and being deposited into their hearts.  I can't relive the past nor do I want to.  I'm having too much fun living in the present and looking forward to the future.  How about you??

Miss Dottie

PS  Maddy loves the little cottage!  She took the first bath in the claw foot tub and reported ... "It was fun."  We're off to Bath & Body Works to get some bubble bath!  Can't take a bath in a deep soaking tub without the ambiance of candles, music, and bubbles!