"I got this ... love you, God"

I got this ... Love you, God

October 21, 2013

Dear Readers,

Come on in!  It's a rainy cloudy day in Central Texas ... a great day for a fire in the fireplace and reading the book I got on Bonhoeffer.  I am finding that this book requires slow reading in order to digest each thought and sentence.  At any rate, my faithful companions have settled in to my right, left, and at my feet. 

"Don't let today's disappointments cast a shadow

on tomorrow's dreams." ~Unknown

I don't know about you, but, for me, disappointment is one of life's most uncomfortable feelings.  Disappointment often leaves me at loose ends because it involves things and people I have no control over.

One thing I learned when I went through trauma therapy was to feel my feelings without trying to speed up the process by trying to fix or change them.  To tell myself I shouldn't feel disappointment is not an option these days.

The wonderful thing about owning feelings of disappointment is that I have said to myself, "I care about you."  Learning to do that was a BIG step for me on my road to wellness ~~ in honoring my "self" with grace, I am able to extend that grace to others.

When someone disappoints me, I feel like being quiet and withdrawing. The old tapes of "you aren't worthy" come back and can become a trigger of relapsing into a world I dare not go.  Disappointment can ripple through to my core.  Thank God, I have the tools necessary to take a step back, dissect why I am disappointed, and move forward knowing my only responsibility is to be open with myself AND the person or event that disappointed me.  I need to say "it" out loud!!

I choose to be an open-hearted lady with dignity and class.  I align myself with the word of God which has helped me to overcome disappointments and negative situations in a healthy way.  The challenge of disappointment allows me to live closer to my own values, stopping me from being swallowed up by negative feelings towards my worthiness and bask in the light of truth.

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

 ~Psalm 139:13-14 (ESV)

As human beings, even though we know that some things are bound to happen, we will continue to be disappointed.  That's just part of life.  I will be disappointed, I will disappoint.  Life can be disappointing but it too will pass.  As I practice that acceptance, I suffer less and notice the good things in life more. At least now, I am able to be present and aware even in the midst of negative emotions and therefore live life more fully.

Kennedy liked his treat of
apple with peanut butter!

I am trying to type on my keyboard and Kennedy keeps nudging my hand and getting closer and closer.  I am recalling the day Laura brought him to me for a meet and greet and how disappointed I was because he was not a six pound Pomeranian.  How could I have been so blind?!  My disappointment soon turned to acceptance and then to joy.  Kennedy is perfect!!  This crazy Pom-Chi makes me smile each and every day!

Are you feeling kind of down today and disappointed?  Maybe you didn't get that job you wanted; a special relationship has taken a nose dive; you looked at that scale and gained weight instead of lost; you were turned down for that loan; the list could go on and on...  Maybe you could try what I do.  I give myself some time to digest my disappointment then fill my time with something positive. I insert a new tape ~ "I got this ... love you, God."

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU BETCHA!!  (Can you tell that I am one half Norwegian?)

Miss Dottie

PS   “You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It wont happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, ‘I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. I’m moving on with my life.”  ~Joel Osteen