Life's Lessons

June 24, 2014

Dear Readers,

Fritz Williams said that suffering and joy teach us, if we allow them, how to make the leap of empathy, which transports us into the soul and heart of another person. In those transparent moments we know other people's joys and sorrows, and we care about their concerns as they were our own. Ah yes, I like that...

I had a wonderful conversation with my daughter, Jane, this afternoon. I listened to Katrina sing about the fruits of the spirit and we shared some wonderful thoughts about the seasons of life. I am grateful that we have this open, real relationship and don't have to pretend with one another. We can laugh, cry, disagree, and be silly all in the same conversation!

Ya know, life isn't all a bed of roses nor is it completely filled with thorns. We experience ups and downs and it's not so much about what's going on as it is our attitude. I am normally a very jovial, happy, optimistic lady; however, the move to small town Texas presented me with some some challenges. The older I have gotten, the harder it has been to start over. I missed my family, friends, home, church, and everything about living close to the city. I missed familiarity!

Praise God for my determined nature! I have been on a mission to wholeness and today I felt this sense of calmness and my clarity of thought returning. I was able to feel all kinds of emotion and shred those tapes of "you aren't worthy." The fog has begun to lift, and the dark clouds have moved on leaving me to experience life in a better place. My circumstances haven't changed ... I have changed. 

Looking back I saw that I had very little control over my circumstances other than to do my best to weather the storm. With that sense of being out of control came sadness. I pretended it wasn't there but it was. When darkness descended, my joy was blotted out, buried, seemingly non-existent. When I realized that I was out of gas and completely without joy, I got down on my knees, prayed for clarity, and began to write a "to-do list." Every time I wandered around in a fog, my job was to pull out the list and do something enjoyable or productive towards my goals. S-l-o-w-l-y I began to see beauty around me. I focused on what I could do, not what I couldn't.

Things started to shift when I made the commitment to find direction in my moment to moment experiences. The big picture was way too blurry and complicated but I realized that in each moment I had that mustard seed of faith, clarity, and, a "yes" that showed me my next step. Whether I felt like it or not, my foot went forward not backward. Much to my surprise, I found the groundedness I was looking for ~ the truth in every moment.

For over two years I'd been trying to make things okay, going it alone in my darkness. Believe me, that's not the way to go. "This too shall pass" were empty words to me. I looked into the future, and all I could see was confusion. My negative mind had taken over, and I couldn't see my way out. My trip to visit family in Florida was my aha moment. I felt rested and ready to move forward. I reached out, allowing humility and vulnerability to take a back seat ~ I asked for support. It came in so many beautiful, unexpected ways, but I had to let people know I needed it.

I want you to know that the clouds do part in their own time. The human spirit is resilient and wants to find its way home to wholeness. In time, my spirit will be renewed ~ having gone into the darkness I am finding my way through.

One day last week, I realized that I was happy, and not only was I happy, but I was thriving checking off events, decisions, etc. written on my to-do list. I'd been through the fire and was emerging with doors opening in so many wonderful ways. The sad and frustrated stories in my mind had fallen away, and the emotions that had kept me captive softened. I found I was breathing freely again.

I believe in the lessons of life. I believe in transparency and open communication. Today, the sun was shining and my flowers blooming. It was time to reflect and, today's blog was born ~ the story of my season of darkness. I've come out stronger and wiser knowing that some things just happen; if I knew how to fix "it" I would; feeling bad isn't wrong, it's just part of life; I always need to take care of "self" because "self" matters; I need to drop the pride card and reach out ~ some might not grab your hand but others will; and, most of all, I need to celebrate what I've learned for next time.

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO GOD: Thank you for your divine leadership and guidance ~ the way you supernaturally work behind the scenes not only for my good but for the good of my Readers. Life itself is a miracle and there are precious moments even in the throws of adversity. Thank you for answered prayers ~ for your mighty provision and protection. Help us all to remain teachable, empathetic, and to truly care about each other as we weather season after season. One thing, Lord, help us all to realize that we were put on this earth for a reason not to just take up space. Help us all to realize our purpose in furthering your kingdom here on Earth. For those who have been encouragers, supporters, and the most beautiful angels to grace my life, I am eternally grateful. And, one more thing, please help my Readers to know that I love them and pray for them each and every day. Amen!