Life in the time of trial

August 29, 2014

Dear Readers,

Come on in and pull up a chair. It's been awhile since you and I talked. Life hasn't been easy and every time I sat down at the computer, my fingers couldn't move and the words in my head became jumbled, not making sense even to me. It's been enough to just get through the day dodging the bullets coming from this place and that. I must say, I take comfort in knowing that in times like this the Holy Spirit intercedes on my behalf. What would I ever do without my faith?? I keep thinking ... one more day, one step forward, take care of what you can... 

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." ~Romans 7:26

As long as I have known my husband, he has had digestive issues and has been a self-diagnosing, self-medicating kind of guy. Well, as so often things do, it all caught up on him. His stomach stopped working and he ended up in the hospital ultimately needing surgery. Dr. Jesus sure worked overtime preparing the perfect place, doctors, and nurses to minister to him. He came home Tuesday and it's been a tough couple days. His weight continues to drop (127 this morning on his 6'2" frame) and he has been plagued with diarrhea and severe weakness. I talked with his gastro doctor and surgeon today and I'm doing everything I can do on this end. Healing will just take time.

Along with Michael's illness came a storm of financial woes and a major problem that needs to be addressed with the house (the breaker box, electrical panel, and wiring). The electrician came up with a temporary fix but warned me that the house is a powder keg. There are many times during the day (and night) that all I can say is, "Jesus ... please." There is a song that the Open Range band plays at church: Nothing But the Blood of Jesus. Anyway, that has been going through my mind today ~ over and over. I certainly know why we are to learn scripture and fill our minds and hearts with good thoughts ... it helps me through the day. 

I've been scrambling trying to go through a maize of paperwork, keep myself pumped up, and am trying desperately to see the blessings of the pieces of life trickling down around me. I know that Jesus loves me ~ warts, bumps, and all. I know He wants the best for me and for Michael in restoration and wholeness. John 10:10 says that Jesus came to give us abundant life, and part of that abundant life is making sure we are healthy and whole ~ physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. God expects me to do what I am able to do then leave the rest to Him. I am humbled, I am scared, I am moving through my days like a robot put on auto pilot.

For a couple months, I basked in the sunshine of attending our new church, discovering new Christian friends, writing my blog of encouragement, making jams and doggie treats to sell at the Farmer's Market, and tending my gardens. I so enjoyed that time and still remember how I felt hope for the first time in months. Then, the dam broke and I can't tell you what it's been like living in fear and physical and emotional exhaustion. I know some of my Readers can relate to what I am saying.

I am not used to asking for help. I've always been a self-sufficient, problem-solving lady of strength and perseverance. It was tough reaching out. The old tapes of "you aren't worthy" came back and I struggled saying, "I am loved, I am valued, I am worthy." Things don't always turn out the way we hope and the past few days have been an absolute nightmare. I've cried til I can't cry anymore, screamed out in agony, and pushed myself when I wanted to just cave in.

My son had my Bible that I've read through every year. I had given it to him hoping that he would follow in my footsteps. I asked for it back welcoming it's worn and tattered form as I would an old friend. Each day, I read not only scripture but also the notes going back to my 40th birthday. I realized that I needed the comfort my friend had to give me! Readers do you have a favorite Bible?

I have gone through deep disappointment ... I had planned on going to Minnesota to attend my 50th class reunion, gathering with dear friends and family, and doing research on my mother's side of the family. A couple days ago, I thought, "I'm just going to get in the car and go..." Then, came the news of the breaker box, electrical panel, and wiring to the tune of $2,300. I fell to my knees with deep groaning. Ever want something so badly only to have it fall through? That was me. I had planned this trip for the past 5 years counting first the years then months. Funny how, we can plan then have life just get in the way. That was a tough nut to swallow for sure.

Father God in Heaven, I ask you to walk beside me and light my path. Help me to understand when understanding seems out of reach. My heart is broken, my emotions raw, and I am like the cat clinging to the branch and the promise that You are in control. To walk in complete faith in the dark? Well, I'm not going to say it's a piece of cake because it's not. To trust You when everything looks so darn black? That's taking every bit of courage I can muster. Holy One, I know that there are Readers who are facing their own dragons ... I know there are Readers who are cowering in a corner, holding their hands over their heads protecting themselves from the stones of life being tossed to hurt and maim.

Tomorrow, I will get up and take my wares to the Farmer's Market. I will smile and see if there is someone who needs a boost, maybe a free jar of jam, or a "can I take your photo?" I will water my garden and tend to my soul. I will care for Michael and the Fabulous Five. I will find something to take joy in even if it is just for a moment in time. I will use every tool I have to move forward. I will do as I have always done ... the best I can.

Miss Dottie

PS Billy Graham once said, "The Christian life is not a constant high. I have my moments of deep discouragement. I have to go to God in prayer with tears in my eyes, and say, 'O God, forgive me,' or 'Help me.'" On that note, I am gathering my charges and heading to bed!

Day is done & the sun sets one more time

August 12, 2014
Tuesday Evening

Dear God,

It's been a rather stressful day and I am finding that I need to count my blessings and lighten up or I won't sleep again tonight. Michael's health has eroded over the past 10 years to the point where his weight has dropped to 139 pounds and his digestive system is wracked with pain and continual spasms. Friday, we will travel to Plano, TX where Dr. Brown will do some exploratory testing on his entire digestive system. I've been on my knees knowing that You have heard my pleading for restoration of his health.

I also had a message from the daughter in law of my friend, Vivian, who is battling cancer. It wasn't the news Vivian and her family hoped for nor was it mine. When I find a friend that really touches my heart, I hate to see them going through what Vivian is. She is such an inspiration to so many at church and was the first one to greet me when I visited the WOW group. Somehow our spirits just clicked and selfishly I want to keep her around for many years. Holy God in Heaven, I pray you would reach inside Vivian and remove every sign of a tumor. Restore her and comfort her at this time going before her and granting her doctors insight as to a plan that would not only extend her life but give her a better quality of living. I just know You are hearing me Father and I pray my Readers will also remember Vivian and Michael in your prayers.

(Sigh) I feel so darn helpless tonight. I guess I want to be in control and make everything okay for those I love. I know You are looking down at me and saying, "It's not your call." I know it's not but I beg of you to hear my prayers. I remember a time in 1975 when my son was in Children's Hospital. I was staring out the window listening to my baby son scream in pain as doctors strapped him to a board to perform blood and spinal tests. I was all alone in a dark room looking over the city knowing that my baby could die. You were all I had to hang on to and You are what I hang on to now.

What do we do when life's not fair and all our plans for the weeks ahead fade as though they were never there in the first place? When my children asked me that question, I would tell them, "punt!" I am punting and hoping for some extra points in this thing called life. Go God!!

I have this thing about really feeling other people's pain ... it's been a blessing and a curse. I can look deep into someones eyes and just know where they're at. It's what made me a good Stephen's Minister, lay counselor, matchmaker, and group facilitator. It's served me well as a businesswoman, matriarch, and friend. I've walked the roads of life and have experienced just about everything there is to experience except being murdered (then I wouldn't be writing this would I??).

I'm on my knees and praying like a mad woman. I hate cancer!! I just hate it! My dad died of cancer when he was only 55. I know he's up there in heaven with You but he and I had lots of unfinished business and I miss him. My Grandfather Harry had cancer, my Uncle Harold had cancer, my Grandmother Maggie had cancer ... this dreaded disease has run rampant in my family. I have friends with cancer who are fighting for their lives. I am stomping my feet and screaming at the top of my lungs ... "I HATE CANCER." I am crying ... "I HATE CANCER."

Lord, You and I have met in some strange places and I've bared my soul before you and man. You've held me when I've had nowhere to go and no one to turn to. That being said, I'm asking that You take these burdens from me tonight and allow me to rest knowing that tomorrow will be a new day.

Jesus, I shut my eyes as my fingers zip across the keyboard. I see your face and wrap my arms around your legs. This moment in time stops as You wipe the tears from my face. I know it's going to be okay.

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS: I know there are so many of you, my Readers, who are experiencing pain and are being confronted with things that are out of control. Maybe you're like me and experiencing that heavy burden on your heart for those you love; or, maybe you're frightened and don't know what the future holds in your own life.

I can only speak from my own life's trials and share them with you. I get up in the morning with a smile knowing that this day, I am alive. It's helped me to share my love with others and rely on the power of Jesus for my day-to-day strength. Yes, like Paul, I've thanked Him for my own "thorn in the flesh" (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) ~ the degeneration of my spine, the Fibromyalgia, the arthritis, the fog that fills my head. The future seems so dark; however, I take comfort in Jesus' promise of eternal life and peace. In John 14:27, He says, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." One day at a time...I can do it one day at a time.

Always know how very much you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

I'm Back in the Saddle Again

Gene Autry ... Back in the Saddle Again

Remember those wonderful cowboys we read books about and watched on TV? Those were the days. I woke up singing this song and, yes,
I AM BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN!!.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Dear God,

It's "Son"day my favorite day of the week. My furry kids woke me up about 5 to head outdoors and all of a sudden I realized Kennedy wasn't with the pack. I woke up Michael and he got in the car to drive up and down the street "looking" for our slippery Pom-Chi.  I was out with my flashlight trying to "shout" without waking up the neighborhood. After about 30 minutes we decided to wait until we could see better. The only thing moving was a skunk several houses down and I sure didn't want to tangle with him.

I thought I had plugged all the holes in the fence and couldn't understand how Kennedy could have gotten out so quickly. My heart was heavy as I walked back into the cottage. Good grief, there he was. He had taken a chew bone and had hidden under the bed. Usually he is right beside me and comes when he's called so that bone must have been mighty good. From there, things started looking up!

I have this wonderful anticipation as I travel the back roads to the Open Range Church. Every Sunday seems better than the last. Today was no exception. I got there early enough to deliver some jams and share some love. I forgot my camera  and I sure missed being able to record the smiling faces of people I've met and will meet, the band, Pastor Rick, Miss Kitty and the Buckaroos, and, of course, Pastor Dudley. I walk through the doors and feel the Holy Spirit abuzz, doing magic in the hearts of those present. Whooo Weeeee! Good stuff, believe you me!

Know one thing that I love about Open Range Cowboy Church? Even though it's a big church, Pastor Rick takes the time to pray for those needing prayer during the service ~ one body praying in agreement over sicknesses of the body, mind, and soul. The band sang the song, "Doctor Jesus" and I could envision Jesus hovering, healing, and leading. One gentleman came to the altar and knelt his head in his hands ~ immediately he was flanked by two lay pastors who prayed with him. I tell you, Lord, this truly is a place that you are annointing!

"For where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them."

~Matthew 18:20 (NIV)

Know something else I like about the Open Range Church? It may be a small thing but when Miss Kitty calls the young buckaroos up for the children's sermon, there are so many dads that bring their little ones forward ... my WOW friend had her baby girl 19 days ago and there was her big old burly husband the past couple Sundays up there holding their child ~ oh the love in that man's eyes! I see men stepping up to the plate praying, leading, guiding, comforting, loving... The Southern Gentleman living for Christ is alive and kicking at ORCC!!

Dear Father, thank you for blessing The Open Range Church and your churches across the globe. At ORCC there are no collection plates passed, no mention of money ... yet, when there is a need, the flood gates open and the coffers overflow. Today, I felt such conflicting emotions. I was so excited to be there to worship you and your son, Jesus. I also had such a heavy heart for my dear friend, Vivian, whose cancer has worsened and for the countless number of requests for other believers needing healing, peace, and encouragement. Surely, Father, if it is your will, Vivians's dreaded cancer could be eradicated. By your stripes we are healed!! (Isaiah 53:5) Amen! I have several other friends who are battling this dreaded disease and other chronic ailments ~ be with them, Lord as they travel that road of the unknown. I continue to be burdened by the wars being fought across the globe. The atrocities bestowed on Christians, women, children take me to my knees. Protect your people giving them strength to face their today's and tomorrows. We know that ultimately You are in control and I rest in that. Thank you to Recycled Poms for rescuing the 25 Pomeranians from that awful puppy mill in Arkansas ... one more shut down, many to go. Bring forth new homes for these precious pups. I know first hand the joy that Ruffy and Harmony (puppy mill girls) and Zeke and Kennedy (rescues) have brought me. Jesus ... come Lord Jesus... Amen, it is so...

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS: I want to encourage you as my Readers to jump outside of your own comfort zones as you search for a mate, a pet, a home, or a church. Ask the Lord to open doors and for the Holy Spirit to let you know when you've found what you are looking for. Do not be deceived by the ways of the world and the sinfulness of your hearts. We all struggle and get frustrated ~ if you're like me, patience is not one of my virtues. I would say though that persistence is my strong suit and through persistence I grow and achieve.

It's easy to take the interstate zooming here and there from start to finish. But, think about this, when you take the fastest route, you can miss the joy of the journey. Looking back, I am savoring each step it took to get to where I am today. Two years ago, I don't know if I would have appreciated it like I do now. Jesus kept me in the desert and I thirsted for the camaraderie of other believers. Was I so parched that I settled? Oh no, I waited until I knew it was where the Lord wanted me. Today, I have no doubts!!

Maybe it was the cowboy boots I got when I was 6 for singing In My Sweet Little Alice Blue Gown ... Maybe it was the country western dances I enjoyed in my 30's and 40's... Maybe it was the cowboy I married who was larger than life (bet there's a rodeo going on in heaven with him around!)... Maybe, just maybe, God was preparing me for new adventures deep in the heart of Texas!! For some strange reason, I am right at home and feeling more peace than I have felt in years.

We all have a story to tell, don't we? Let's raise holy hands, give some hugs, and share the love!! As for you, my dear Readers, always remember that you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

I Can't Breathe

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Dear God,

I feel like I am in the Sahara Desert. I walked outside to put a load of clothes in the washer and felt like I was suffocating ... it was literally hard to breathe. My little ones were panting like crazy hurrying outside to do their business then back inside to loll in front of the fan. Gosh, I love my furry kids!!

I am thanking You (mightily) for the air conditioning in the little casa and cottage. I cannot image how the people lived here without fans or air conditioners. I guess if you don't have it, you get used to it. I'd probably have to sit in a tub of cool water all day long. The heat didn't used to bother me but the older I get the more I like even temperatures in the high 70's and 80's. Listen to me complaining ... I don't like extreme cold either so I'll probably be whining come next January about that.

Anyway, the Farmer's Market was really s-l-o-w today. Iris Cottage got it's usual spot under the big tree just west of the courthouse and we had plenty of cool water to drink which was a good thing. I was thinking that shoppers would turn out early to get their weekly supply of produce, breads, pickles, melons, and jams BUT I think they opted more for a nice cup of coffee in their air conditioned kitchens! Hopefully, next Saturday will be better. I'm thinking of adding Bible verses to my tags ... another little way to spread the love!!

You know, Lord, I can tell I must be doing something right 'cause Satan has sure been niggling me lately. Nothing disastrous or big but just the drip drip drip of little annoyances and things going wrong. Suppose my Readers can relate? Those drip drip drips can sure get to me after awhile and I get downright C-R-A-N- K-Y! (Smile) By the way, thanks for protecting me from the electricity shocks I got from the microwave this week. Phew! I haven't touched it since! Michael took it all apart and tightened up all the inside gizmo's and checked the wiring. He says it is working fine. I told him, "Great, then YOU use it." I get upset with myself for getting behind in my household chores and not getting to everything I think I "need" to do.

Yesterday, we drove to Whitney, TX to pick up tickets for the country western concert at church next Saturday night. Proceeds will benefit kids needing supplies for the upcoming school year. I'm all for helping the kids have what they need to succeed. We ate at the Colorado Street Grille and were pleasantly surprised. We walked into a very quaint restaurant with a pretty extensive menu. There were two chefs (with chef's hats on) in the open kitchen that clearly enjoyed being creative in their food presentation besides serving up a delicious plate of grilled chicken with chipotle sauce, rice, grilled veggies, and the best pecan cobbler I've ever eaten. Definitely a place to go back to. Why not? At McDonald's prices, we got fed like a king and queen! 

Even with all this heat, there is comfort in prayer. Yahweh-jireh, you will provide. Yes, you will. There are those who need healing in body, mind, and spirit. There are those who are being ravaged by enemies so evil that it's hard for me to comprehend. There are those whose hearts are broken, are hungry, and have nowhere to go. My prayer journal is filling up with names and prayer requests. I give them all to you and know that as I release them You are there to receive and act. I want to specifically pray for the safety of the United States of America. A subtle evil, years in the making, is rising up to devour our nation. It grieves me and oh how it must grieve you. I stand in the gap, Lord, for your people who are willing to give their lives to your service. Rise up oh men (and women)! What makes us think we can escape your wrath if we continue down our paths of sinful thinking and justifications? The more I know you, the more I realize how important it is to examine every motive and thought. What is so difficult about the Ten Commandments? Oh, we are free to choose for sure ... we also reap the consequences of our thoughts and choices. I ask myself, "If you thought that was so good, how'd it work out for you?" Respectfully, I pray for our President and his ability to lead our country. I also pray for truth to be revealed and light to shine in every dark corner of his and all government officials lives. Just like Jesus did in the temple, we must clean house! Amen! Jesus, you are the answer ... always have been, always will be and it's in your name I bow my head in prayer. Amen.

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS: I continue to be amazed at the evilness that is running rampant across the globe. Christians are being persecuted "just because." I celebrated life today without worry, I filled my belly with delicious food, relaxed in the comfortable coolness of the cottage, and played with my furry kids. What blessings!

I read a quote by William Penn at dawn and it's stuck with me. "I expect to pass through the world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness or abilities that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."

As the minutes and hours have passed, I've had countless opportunities to share my love of my Lord and myself with others. There are enough trials in this world, please join me in sharing love, compassion, and grace!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!

Friday, Miss Dottie's Cottage

August 8, 2014

Dear God,

Good Morning! It's such a beautiful day. I am drawn outdoors as I look through the french doors of the cottage. I am in awe of my own little Garden of Eden. It's still in it's infancy but taking shape. Using the ready (year 1), set (year 2), grow (year 3) premise, the next year should be an unveiling of what it will look like at maturity. I must say, as I grow older, I will be glad to just tend and care for rather than be planting and experimenting. I say that but You know how much I enjoy making my gardens bloom!

My neighbor was knocking on my door at 7 bells. She thought we should have a plant exchange before it got too hot. I had some plants that needed more sun and she had some that needed more shade. I grabbed my shovel and Beverly picked out 4 rose bushes. I had the good fortune to be able to add another azalea, a huge hydrangea, and some abelias. I told her I though she got the short end of the stick but she said she'd been eying the roses I gave her and was tickled pink with the exchange.

I want to say thanks for giving me that nudge to open a booth at the Farmer's Market. I've discovered a new passion in canning jams and jellies AND for presenting them using creativity. I'm not going to get rich; however, it is rewarding to see my "be backs" each week and see the smiles on their faces. Sadly, I won't be offering the doggie treats because of the laws regarding dog food. I'm being told that I can give them away for donations so I may go that route and see if I can cover the expenses of making the treats. I use natural peanut butter and organic whenever possible so it does get expensive. My daughter, Jane, asked me if I would continue with the Farmer's Market if I didn't need the extra spending money. I didn't have to think twice ... "Yes!"

Little Miss Ruffy is coming along nicely in getting the staff infection eradicated from her body. She had her second iodine bath and will continue her antibiotic for awhile longer. She's a tough little lady and has come a long way in the year I've been her Pom-mommy. It makes me sad sometimes that she is still so fearful. It has to be her idea for me to pick her up and the other day when she got out of the fence I nearly had a heart attack trying to catch her. She would run out into the road then on to the grassy areas of the neighbor's lawns. I sat down hoping she would come to me but that didn't work. I finally cornered her against the side of a house where she couldn't escape. Today I will walk the fence and try to stop up all the holes where Ruffy and her brothers and sister get out.

Last Friday, I had an appointment to have an MRI on my lower back and then saw my orthopaedic surgeon who has been treating my neck and back since 2004. Sadly, my L3-4 is worn out and the arthritis and degenerative disk disease taking it's toll. I've been having a lot of back pain and trouble walking and sitting plus numbness in my right arm and right leg. Physical therapy and injections haven't helped soooo looks like I will be headed for the operating room once again. I have all the faith in the world in my doctor and have always recovered quickly. My only concern is that the Fibromyalgia started when I had so many surgeries on my neck, back, feet and I know that I will need some extra recuperation this time around.  Lord, I am praying for peace and that You would go before me preparing for this next bump in the road.

The day is young and who knows how it will unfold. I set my plans yet am open to deviations should the need arise. I have an open door policy at the cottage ... no matter what I am doing, there's always time to greet an unexpected visitor and give some extra time to one of my furry kids. If it doesn't get too hot today, I think that a tea party under the trees in the back garden would be in order. Yes, I will put that on my list.

Come to think of it You have an open door policy too. You, the Holy Spirit, Jesus ... the Trinity ~ 3 in 1 ... as simple or as complicated as I want to make it. I keep thinking about that song sung in church Sunday ~ I Can't Even Walk Without You Holding My Hand. That's me. Some have said Jesus is my crutch in life. Not just maybe so, it IS SO. Without Jesus in my heart I would be hell on wheels, hateful, resentful, and downright mean. I am so glad that I am able to forgive easily and move forward. It must be awful to sit around fussing and fuming over what someone said, did or didn't do, said, or didn't say.

Father God in Heaven, your name is holy and your ways are not the ways of man. To know you is to study your word. You sent your son, Jesus, so that we would see first-hand what you are about and I hang on every sermon He gave ... every word He spoke. I pray for your people across the globe who are under seige (war, famine, weather), hiding in caves, being raped, beheaded, criticized, and fighting personal battles. You tell us that You are with us always ~ even to the end of the age. (Matthew 28:20) That gives me peace and such comfort. I thank you in advance for your advancement of warriors that they might fight battles behind the scenes and move ordinary people to do extra-ordinary things.  Amen, it is so.

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS: With every day that passes we have the opportunity to reach out and upward to make a difference in someone's life. A day never goes by that I don't think about life and that it's not just about me. Life is more than my list of "to do's," accomplishments or failures, what my family and the world is up to but what I make of it all. When I can accept the day's challenges without wishing for something else, I feel as if I am getting one step closer to being my real self. When I get lost in the drudgery and details of the day or get so fearful that I am spell-bound, I miss the beauty of what is. Today, I will celebrate all that comes my way. And, now as I go my way and you go yours: Always remember you are loved and prayed for, ya you!

I believe in miracles

August 4, 2014

Dear God,

I believe, yes I do. I believe in every day miracles. There have been several things that have happened lately that have stuck with me. Come on and sit beside me and let's chat a bit...

A few days ago, I did a walk through my gardens and saw that a huge limb had fallen from the big old tree. It landed in the garden, not touching a single plant or shrub. I tried to lift it thinking because it was so old it wouldn't be heavy. I was wrong. I sat down on the ground just looking at how perfectly it fell. How could that happen? It was like someone took it off the tree and gently placed in between the shrubs and flowers without disturbing a thing. I am still in awe. I decided not to have the branch moved. It would be a long-time reminder of a miracle in Miss Dottie's garden.

Add caption

Secondly:  Saturday I was at the Farmers' Market. The first Saturday of each month, the craftsman of the surrounding areas set up booths to sell their wares. Of course, I had to go check them out. One of the artists presenting was a man by the name of Harley Johnson. There in front of me was a watercolor painting that caught my eye. I looked at it and couldn't believe my eyes. Many years ago, I had drawn a picture in one of my Bibles about a perfect little place for me. It was a little cabin on a lake with a canoe on the water in front. Trees and mountains were in the background. This artist had painted my vision like I imagined it. I told him the story and he offered the original watercolor to me for $20. I told him that if I earned enough money at my booth I would buy the painting. My friend, Beverly, also heard the story and when I left, she purchased the painting for me for my (December) birthday. A miracle that someone could paint my vision so perfectly and because of my friend's generosity, it will hang in the cottage.

Thirdly: Sunday before last, I stood at the CD booth at church gazing at the Open Range Band's recording. I had a decision to make ~ I could pay my tithe from my Farmer's Market booth OR I could purchase the CD. I paid my tithe. This Sunday morning, I was sitting in church just soaking in my good fortune of being there and my new friend Carolyn found me. "There you are, I got this for you." It was the Open Range Band CD. I got tears in my eyes as she handed it to me. Carolyn couldn't have known about the CD but YOU did...

Fourthly: I witnessed a miracle at church yesterday. Or, at least in my eyes, I witnessed the miracle in how the music ministry can reach souls for Christ. The Open Range Band began to play I Can't Even Walk Without You Holding My Hand and many of us stood nearly hypnotized by the beauty of the music. All of a sudden people began to come to the altar to pray and to have others pray with them. The Holy Spirit was on fire moving at warp speed touching hearts. I've never experienced anything like that before. I sat down ... "Surely God is in this place." Pastor Gerald Dudley walked to the stage and in his words said he needed to "clean house." What a sermon!! An ordinary Sunday yet oh what miracles to behold!

Coincidences? I don't think so. You are the protector and omni-present, God in heaven. You never cease to amaze me at how you show yourself to me in ways I know it's you.

I've been finding white wispy feathers again. Someone once told me that finding a white feather is a sign that you are being looked after by a guardian angel. Well, Lord, you and my guardian angel are doing a great job!

When I have felt so abandoned by those I love, You have stepped in time and time again to allow me to see you through small miracles. You and You alone have filled the voids in my heart that ache. I rejoice in knowing that I truly am a daughter of the most high.

My Spirit is fragile and my heart softened by the love about me. How can it be that that same woman would have the fighting strength of a warrior and ask to be put on your front lines? Yes, I get afraid; then, I realize that if my sorrows come because of walking in your light then that is a blessing not a curse. I am humbled over and over again and I raise my hands in honor of your son, Jesus, who died on the cross that I might be saved from a life of pain and sin.

I pray for my Readers, Lord. I pray that they too would experience the miracles of everyday living and know You are God!! Raise them up from the ashes and place garments of purple, red, and gold on their shoulders. Gird them with Your Word as they do that next right thing knowing You have their backs. Ultimately You are in control and You make the earth tremble with your groanings. Awake those who are sleeping and blatantly share your wisdom. El-Gibhor, "Mighty God" - You are most powerful and able to destroy your enemies with rule and a rod of iron. Heal the sick, uplift the down-trodden, give work to the unemployed, and Jesus, open your store houses and pour out your goodness and mercy on those who call you Savior. Amen, it is so...

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS: I had an instant message tonight from a very dear high school friend. We haven't been in touch for 40+ years only recently connecting on Facebook. Our minds and hearts are still touching after all these years ... Oh, the stories we have to tell. The Circle of Life seems to be coming full circle and friendships that faded with time are reappearing strong and with such clarity of purpose. I am in awe at the miracle of friendships that run so deep that time and distance make no difference. God speed ... always know you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!

MID YEAR REFRESH ~ 1 STEP AT A TIME

July 30, 2014

Dear Readers,

The troops were up extra early this morning. I had a good night's rest and was ready to join them in their exuberance to start their day with a potty call and hearty breakfast. Theirs was kibble whereas mine was piping hot coffee, an English Muffin, and some homemade pear preserves. I must say making 3 new jams/jellies/preserves each week has given me quite a variety to choose from for my breakfast (I make 1 jar for testing/tasting). I thought about the amount of sugar that goes into each jar then rationalized my indulgence by telling myself "everything in moderation."

I had designated 2014 to be a year of refreshment for me. Little did I know how many areas of my life would be affected. I have found that the quickest way for me to peter out is to attack an area needing work with everything I've got. It's been better to savor the journey one step at a time, one day at a time. I must say, I've come a long way...

You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

~Martin Luther King, Jr.

My body needed a tune-up and I've gradually added good foods and drinks while tossing old habits aside. The elimination of the diet sodas jump started me to losing some weight that I'd acquired over the winter ... not a lot but now I am comfortable. If I drink too many diet sodas, my appetite ramps up. Hmmm... I battle degenerative disk disease and Fibromyalgia every day and need to keep my body as fit as possible ~ working in my gardens gives my muscles a work-out and gives me some extra energy. I am on track...

"What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step.

It is always the same step, but you have to take it."

~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Spiritually, I had been in the desert since my move in 2012. The decision to take Susan Ramsey's invitation to attend The Open Range Cowboy Church was  paramount in brightening my life. I kept trying to fit into the more traditional churches in the area and time after time, it just didn't work out. I had to get out of my comfort zone to find what I was looking for. When I leave church about noon on Sunday, I am already looking forward to the next Sunday. I attended WOW (Women's Group) on Wednesday mornings which was wonderful; now, Michael's work schedule is such that I have no transportation. Praying for that to change sooner rather than later!

Keeping my mind sharp has been important with each year of growing older. I read to educate myself, entertain myself, and stretch my cognizant abilities. Doing the Boatload Crossword Puzzles on the Internet allows me to be timed and set goals. I've always enjoyed competing with myself and achieving personal bests ... helps me not to compare myself to others and to continually improve in many different areas.

Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.

~Proverbs 16:31

I worked as a weight loss director for a season and thoroughly enjoyed working with people who wanted to be healthier and more fit. In the process of teaching others to create healthy diet plans, I became the student as well as the teacher. I found the same thing to be true when I facilitated Bible Study classes for singles and women. I learn so much from the people who make up my days. They are paramount in the steps I take each day.

There is so much strife and atrocities going on in our country (and the world) right now. It helps me to do something each day for others, my country, and myself. I set small American flags around in the back yard so that as I passed a flag, I would remember to pray for a land that I hold so dear to my heart. Visual reminders are important for me. Otherwise, out of sight, out of mind. Sad but true.

But by the grace of God, I am where I am at this time in my life. REFRESH in 2014 has been good for me. I am more aware of each choice I make realizing that I needed to learn that being assertive isn't a bad thing. I like this path I am on and encourage you, as Readers, to join me in my quest towards inner serenity and making the world a better place.

Miss Dottie

Dear God, today is a beautiful day created by you for us. As we walk along the road of life, help us to become more aware of our surroundings and the people that share our journey. I pray especially for each person reading my blogs ~ that they would be encouraged and uplifted AND maybe even challenged to begin their own RENEWAL programs. Where there is strife and war, build your army of warriors and give them victory. Protect us from ourselves, our greed, our inability to discern truth and light. We truly are our own worst enemies. Where there is misunderstanding, let there be open communication to a bridge of understanding. Jesus, I specifically pray for the children of this world who are being used as pawns by evil men and women of power. You say, "Suffer the little children not..." (Matthew 19:14) Oh Father, I plead for the children and their safety. Jesus move mightily and show us your eternal strength now and forevermore. Amen, it is so...