Day is done & the sun sets one more time

August 12, 2014
Tuesday Evening

Dear God,

It's been a rather stressful day and I am finding that I need to count my blessings and lighten up or I won't sleep again tonight. Michael's health has eroded over the past 10 years to the point where his weight has dropped to 139 pounds and his digestive system is wracked with pain and continual spasms. Friday, we will travel to Plano, TX where Dr. Brown will do some exploratory testing on his entire digestive system. I've been on my knees knowing that You have heard my pleading for restoration of his health.

I also had a message from the daughter in law of my friend, Vivian, who is battling cancer. It wasn't the news Vivian and her family hoped for nor was it mine. When I find a friend that really touches my heart, I hate to see them going through what Vivian is. She is such an inspiration to so many at church and was the first one to greet me when I visited the WOW group. Somehow our spirits just clicked and selfishly I want to keep her around for many years. Holy God in Heaven, I pray you would reach inside Vivian and remove every sign of a tumor. Restore her and comfort her at this time going before her and granting her doctors insight as to a plan that would not only extend her life but give her a better quality of living. I just know You are hearing me Father and I pray my Readers will also remember Vivian and Michael in your prayers.

(Sigh) I feel so darn helpless tonight. I guess I want to be in control and make everything okay for those I love. I know You are looking down at me and saying, "It's not your call." I know it's not but I beg of you to hear my prayers. I remember a time in 1975 when my son was in Children's Hospital. I was staring out the window listening to my baby son scream in pain as doctors strapped him to a board to perform blood and spinal tests. I was all alone in a dark room looking over the city knowing that my baby could die. You were all I had to hang on to and You are what I hang on to now.

What do we do when life's not fair and all our plans for the weeks ahead fade as though they were never there in the first place? When my children asked me that question, I would tell them, "punt!" I am punting and hoping for some extra points in this thing called life. Go God!!

I have this thing about really feeling other people's pain ... it's been a blessing and a curse. I can look deep into someones eyes and just know where they're at. It's what made me a good Stephen's Minister, lay counselor, matchmaker, and group facilitator. It's served me well as a businesswoman, matriarch, and friend. I've walked the roads of life and have experienced just about everything there is to experience except being murdered (then I wouldn't be writing this would I??).

I'm on my knees and praying like a mad woman. I hate cancer!! I just hate it! My dad died of cancer when he was only 55. I know he's up there in heaven with You but he and I had lots of unfinished business and I miss him. My Grandfather Harry had cancer, my Uncle Harold had cancer, my Grandmother Maggie had cancer ... this dreaded disease has run rampant in my family. I have friends with cancer who are fighting for their lives. I am stomping my feet and screaming at the top of my lungs ... "I HATE CANCER." I am crying ... "I HATE CANCER."

Lord, You and I have met in some strange places and I've bared my soul before you and man. You've held me when I've had nowhere to go and no one to turn to. That being said, I'm asking that You take these burdens from me tonight and allow me to rest knowing that tomorrow will be a new day.

Jesus, I shut my eyes as my fingers zip across the keyboard. I see your face and wrap my arms around your legs. This moment in time stops as You wipe the tears from my face. I know it's going to be okay.

Miss Dottie

NOTE TO READERS: I know there are so many of you, my Readers, who are experiencing pain and are being confronted with things that are out of control. Maybe you're like me and experiencing that heavy burden on your heart for those you love; or, maybe you're frightened and don't know what the future holds in your own life.

I can only speak from my own life's trials and share them with you. I get up in the morning with a smile knowing that this day, I am alive. It's helped me to share my love with others and rely on the power of Jesus for my day-to-day strength. Yes, like Paul, I've thanked Him for my own "thorn in the flesh" (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) ~ the degeneration of my spine, the Fibromyalgia, the arthritis, the fog that fills my head. The future seems so dark; however, I take comfort in Jesus' promise of eternal life and peace. In John 14:27, He says, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." One day at a time...I can do it one day at a time.

Always know how very much you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!