You Got to Want it!!

 

August 31, 2011


I have been trying to publish a blog for a week now and for whatever reason the blog program I am using has been scrambling paragraphs.  Augh...  Think I will try again this morning after letting my computer rest for a couple days!
 

It's a beautiful Friday morning here in Central Texas.  The scent of Fall is in the air in the early morning hours.  I know that the season of harvest is just around the corner and that makes me smile.  Fall in Texas is lovely ... warm days, cool nights ... the sound of the bands on the football fields and high school football players chanting claims of victory.  The fruit and vegetable stands will soon be overflowing with goodies flanked by corn shocks and bales of hay ... pumpkins will be picked over by young and old alike.  Those who hibernated through the dog days of August will once again peek out their doors and the neighborhood will come alive with shouts of "Hi, how ya doin'!"

 

The Republican Convention wrapped up last night in Tampa, Florida with the speech given by Mitt Romney, their presidential candidate.  I listened carefully this week to speeches by Condoleezza Rice, Chris Christie, Paul Ryan, and others.  I was touched more by the history of the personal stories told by people who have known the Romney family over the past years.  Our country is in dire need of a leader who has compassion yet can lead with firmness and decisiveness.  I listened carefully for content of how Mr. Romney has been groomed to prepare himself for the position of President of the United States.  You know what?  I think he has the know how and the chutzpah to get the job done.  For the first time in a long while i felt that little twinge of hope flow through my heart and mind. My daughter was at the convention this week representing the company she works for.  It was so interesting listening to her stories of panel discussions and the real workings of committees that we don't get to see on television.  I kept watching for her in the evenings as she said she had been promised a couple of tickets.  I laughed when I asked her why she was home one evening rather !than on the convention floor ... she replied, "Empty campaign promise, mom"  We giggled...
 

Gabby Douglas - Going for the Gold

As I have mentioned many times in my blog, I can get a song in my mind and it just stays around.  A few days ago, it was the song, YOU GOTTA WANT IT by Jordin Sparks.  Not too long ago, we were watching the Summer Olympics held in London.  Those Olympic medalists didn't get the gold by just showing up for practice every now and then ... they had to want it and want it badly!!  They had to focus often times leaving family and friends behind to find skilled coaches and fertile environments for growth in their sports.

 

You know we can get all sorts of help and encouragement from those around us but when it comes right down to it, we have to want it!!  We have to supply the perseverance and work necessary to rise above and get the job done.  So often, we back down at the first sign of challenges -- it's the mighty warrior who is able to forge ahead in adversity having faith that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

For me, I find it important to read biography books about those who had survived heavy odds to become not just good but great.  I also pick the brains of successful people in areas that I want to grow in ... physical, spiritual, personal.  I wanted to know if the blood sweat and tears was worth it in the long run.  What did I hear?  Absolutely!!  The one thing though that stuck in my own mind was the concept of balance.  In becoming great at one thing, these people often neglected balance in their lives ... at least for a season.

So often, I am like the puppy dog who gets ahold of a toy and won't let go.  I wanted to rise above the loud clanging of the chains that bound me from childhood.  I read, I studied, and I did the work necessary to move to a point in my life where I am comfortable in my own skin.  I do not worry about being abandoned by my family if I speak the truth (in love) -- I do not worry about pleasing man as long as I am pleasing the lord of my life.  I keep my slates clean and can say "I am sorry" without losing myself.  To have to be right don't matter so much anymore. There was a time, when I struggled ... I didn't want to be the bad guy, the failure, the misfit.  When authority figures would question my motives, I would get my knickers in a knot and defend myself.  "I'm not a bad person ... I was set up, don't you see?"  Now?  I know that God knows my heart and my story.  He is my judge and it is his rules I follow.  If I gain the praise of men and lose my sense of self, what have I accomplished?
 

I visited an Alanon group not too long ago.  It had been many many years and I was curious to find out if it would be the same type of group that I found myself in so long ago at the little green house on Parker Road.   "Hi, my name is Dottie."  "Hello, Dottie."  That was the same ... the format was the same and yes, although the faces were different, the people were fighting the same battle.  Whether AA or Alanon

What had been familiar to me for my growing up years and early adulthood was familiar and felt right ... it wasn't and I had to relearn how to live in a healthy way.  I was one of those who wanted it enough to fight tooth and nail to attain a new sense of well being. Try as I might, I couldn't do it myself.  My own will power wasn't strong enough to pull me through the tough times.  I caved in over and over until I found my Lord God and grabbed his hand.  Together, we walked through the peaks and valleys of life celebrating the smallest of my victories.  When others told me I couldn't do it, He told me I could.  When others abandoned me, He stood beside me.  I ran, He followed.  When I cried out, He showed himself.  As I grew stronger and was able to share my own story with others, I could thank Him for his steadfastness.  I had people say to me, "Jesus is your crutch in life."  I would smile and say, "You bet, He is!"

What is it that you want most?  Are you willing to do the tough stuff to attain it?  When my right foot gave out and I couldn't walk, I took the risk and had it rebuilt - for six long weeks, I couldn't put any pressure on my foot.  I had a little scooter that I put my leg and foot on which made me somewhat mobile.  For a time I had to not walk in able to walk in the future.  Make sense?  Think about that.  I had to undergo a painful surgery and work through countless hours of therapy in order to walk again.  Was it worth it?  Absolutely!

No matter what your challenges are, there is hope.  Maybe your road map of life needs some tweaking and maybe you need to realize that God has different plans for you than you did for yourself.  At any rate, there is a way, you know...  It was Abraham Lincoln who said, "People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be"?  I think that's true. You don't HAVE to go to work ... you have a job, be grateful!  You don't HAVE to clean your house ... you have a home to clean, be grateful!  You don't HAVE to go visit your parents ... you are blessed with parents to visit, be grateful!  You don't HAVE to be a parent ... you have been blessed with children, they are gifts -- all too soon they will be gone to live lives of their own -- be grateful for the time they are underfoot.  I don't HAVE to go to church ... I have religious freedom to worship the God of my fathers ... I am grateful!  Can't you see the list is endless?  Today, I am of sound mind -- I have the freedom to write a blog and publish it.  I am able to walk in the sunshine and pull the weeds growing in my garden.  I am able to enjoy life this day and do what I can to make this a better world.  My fingers (although swollen and sore from arthritis) fly over the keyboard and leave messages for my family telling them that I love them.

Some weeks ago, I found a former high school classmate on Facebook.  We struck up a conversation and, I must say, I have enjoyed catching up.  She led a full life until about seven years ago when life threw her some curve balls and she no longer can run and do all the things she used to do.  I wish I could visit her bedside in Montana and listen to her story.  I can close my eyes and see her as she was in 1964 - a beautiful brunette with snapping brown eyes.  She tells me her hair is white now -- somehow, that seems impossible.  Life has a way of marching on, doesn't it...

The day will come when my voice will be silent and my fingers unable to move -- my work will be done on earth. Until that time, you can count on me to pester you with snippits of my life and my proddings to NEVER QUIT!!

As we walk through life together, I pray that you will find that passion inside of you that drives you to be bigger than yourself.  I pray that you will love with abandon, laugh til your belly hurts, and never stop growing, living life to the fullest.  I get up in the morning and one of the first things I do is brush my teeth.  I found this little sign at Hobby Lobby and I snapped it up.  As I swish the toothbrush across my teeth, I think about the three things listed before me and how I can stay positive.  This morning, I laughed ... I heard this little voice inside of me saying ... "You're alive and brushing your teeth ... that's something, isn't it?"  Yes, it is!!  Enjoy your day!!

Miss Dottie

An Adulterous Union

Lily gets me where I need to be in style!

August 21, 2012

What happened to the Texas heat?  It was actually chilly here this morning.  I sat outside and watched Nicholas and Zachary play chase (actually, cops and robbers) -- Tommy and Angie have a wonderful big old fashioned front porch with plenty of room for rockers.  Perfect morning = time with my grandsons, a hot cup of coffee, some Bible reading, topped off with a yummy lunch.

I made the trip to North Texas late Sunday afternoon.  Angie started her new job at the school Monday, so I volunteered to watch the boys.  I am getting filled up with hugs, laughter, and adventures that only an (almost) 9 year old and 7 year old can provide!  They have very vivid imaginations!!  I got to be the police photographer today!!

Cops & Robbers:  Mug Shot - Nicholas

Cops & Robbers:  Mug Shot - Zachary

I am coming to the end of the Old Testament in my daily Bible reading.  Boy, am I ever struggling!  I am asking myself if I am just being lazy or what is going on inside me.  With that being said, I opened my Bible to Hosea and the word became life before me.  I realized that not every passage in the Bible is going to jump out at me.  However, if I had stopped and not struggled through Jeremiah, Lamentations, Ezekiel, and Daniel, I wouldn't be where I am today.

Truth is transforming -- but only when truth is known and acted upon.  God's Word brings conviction -- but only when I expose my life to its convicting truths.  Something is only nourishing when I feed upon it. "An untouched pantry full of food is as useless physically as an unopened Bible is spiritually." (Quote from Daily Walk Bible)

I live in the United States of America.  You'd have to be deaf, dumb, and living in a remote area void of communication to not know about God and his son, Jesus.  In fact, our very nation was founded on knowledge of that very existence.  The truth is, our nation has chosen not to follow and live by that knowledge. 

"Don't point your finger at someone else, and try to pass the blame to him!"  Hosea 4:4

We all do that, don't you think?  As Christians, we pass the buck, settle for mediocre, and ignore the sin all around us.  If we don't get in the middle, no one will look at us.  God forbid should we hack someone off.  Easy to say, hard to do:  do the next right thing and leave the results to the Lord!

"Wine, women, and song have robbed my people of their brains."  Hosea 4:11

So often, I have heard.  I can't believe he/she had an affair.  They must have not been in their right mind.  Turn on your TV/radio, pick up a newspaper/magazine ... attend a community event.  What do you see?  Sex sells ... if it feels good, do it!  Who are our idols?  The Beeb?  The most beautiful man or woman in the world?  The one with the most toys?  Believe me, morality has sunk to a new all time low.  Just like the Israelites of so long ago, God blessed us with a country where we have the opportunity to cultivate our dreams.  We also turned our backs on him and become our own God.  Where has that gotten us?  Oh we think we're smart ... look at technology.  Face to face conversations have gone by the way-side along with empathy and responsibility.  Look in the mirror, what do you see? 

"Come let us return to the Lord; it is he who has torn us -- he will heal us.  He has wounded -- he will bind us up."  Hosea 5:1

What is adultery?  Adultery is often seen as a breach of trust and of the commitment that had been made during the act of marriage.  Adulteration is also a watering down ... to put before.  As a nation what comes before our faith and commitment to the Lord.  It is so easy to become a member of a church.  Attend a few classes ... sign a paper ... no background check, no real commitment.  It's easy to accept Jesus -- just say a little prayer, that's it!  But, is it?  God and his son know our hearts -- he can recognize the Real McCoy!  We want eternal life, we want forgiveness from our many sings ... BUT, so often, that's it.  Our commitment to the man who gave his life for us can be so shallow.  We certainly don't want to be known as one of those Jesus freaks, do we?  Do those in your community know what you stand for?  Let us return to the God of our fathers -- it is He who will lift us up!

Our Lord wants to bless us.  As parents, we look at our children and, if they are living lives that will harm them, we feel helpless ... we pray ... we rescue ... we yell ... we praise ... we fall to our knees in tears begging.  How do you think God feels when he looks down on his chosen?  His words offer life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  Sound familiar?  We have free will.  We can ignore, make our own rules, or obey.  Which do you think brings fruit?  We are getting the crops from the seeds we have sown.

As matriarch of my family, I realize how important it is for me to be a good example for my family.  I love unconditionally yet, I am not afraid to stand up for what is right.  A few minutes ago, Zachary fell going up the stairs.  He bruised his rib and was wailing at the top of his lungs.  I walked half-way down the stairs and met him where he was at.  I sat him on my lap and calmed the storm.  With some soft words and an I love you, Zachary was ready to tell me what happened.  I listened and assured him that "it" was going to be all right.  Here came Nicholas ready to check on his brother.  As Zachary climbed off my lap, Nicholas climbed on.  Perfect timing!  He needed his share of affirmation.  Don't we all need that?  We fall, wail claiming that we are bruised beyond repair only to have our heavenly father meet us in our moment of need.  He stills the raging waters, quietly whispering in ways that only He can to bring that sense of peace and serenity.  I don't know about you, but so often I am like Nicholas -- even if I'm not hurting, I still need to know that God is with me...  He doesn't disappoint!!

We are facing an election soon.  Would my choice be our present President?  No.  Would my first choice have been Mitt Romney?  No.  As a union, we have strayed so far and become caught up in the "if it sounds good, it must be true."   What will it take for the United States of America to wake up and realize just how far we've all fallen.  We've abandoned our jobs in our own families of raising our children and left education to our schools, their peers, and the social medias.  We've abandoned our job as citizens to vote and learn more about our government and what's really going on.  I am learning and I am studying ... I encourage you to do the same.


Until we chat again, please remember that you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie


 

The Gift of Life

August 16, 2012

As many people who are adopted have a yearning to find their birth parents and know where they came from, so do many, like me, who search their family trees trying to make sense of "who am I" and "where did I come from."

I began this blog nearly two years ago as an avenue to tell my story, to leave a legacy to my children as to what their mother was about and what I stood for.  It was my way of wrapping my arms around my fellow travelers and giving them the hope and faith that oozed from my being.  It's been a journey of self-discovery and a work of love...

My blog has reached the ends of the earth and I have been surprised at how many have sent emails letting me know about much my blogs have meant to them.  I am but an instrument as I sit down at my computer.  I pray that God would guide my mind and fingers as they whirl across the keyboard.  Often times, "I" have an idea of what I want to write and God has other plans.  I am obedient ... what is that new saying out now?  I am second?  Well, anyway, I have been second for a good number of years and find contentment in having it that way.

My most favorite place in the entire world is Lake Minnewaska located in Pope County Minnesota.  I spent seventeen years walking the shoreline and communing with nature there.  All I have to do is shut my eyes and I can see the restless waves splashing on the shore.  The sound of gulls and loons is music to my ears.  This will always be home to me and it is where I will have my ashes scattered.  It was the beginning - for me, but not for my great+great great-grandparents who came before me.

Many a day, I would carry a bag filled with books, paper, pencil, letters, notes, and snacks down to the beach.  My mother would drop me off either early in the morning or on her lunch hour.  Sometimes, I would ride my bike.  The solitude welcomed me and awakened a spirit that was deep inside.  I would roll out my towel and rub on some Baby Oil with a little iodine in it.  Talk about boiling the skin!!  I'm glad that pale is the new tan!!

My trips to the city library kept me well stocked with avenues to new adventures.  I was a dreamer - a visionary - a soft spoken young lady - a loner.  I loved to read and scribble notes to myself.  The world was a small place there where I grew up ... I wandered about in my own little Eden, singing, dancing, and communing with Mother Nature.

The following lines were written by Mrs. W. F. Dougherty, in 1907 of her first vision of Glenwood twenty-four years previous, (1883):  “Travel back with me then, if you will, four and twenty years, when weary and travel-worn from a trip across the plains, through humdrum villages and uninviting scenes, suddenly there burst upon our view a scene of such transcendent beauty, a vision that held our eye, entrance as of Paradise to earth let down.  There, in the valley below us, nestled a little village, threaded and dotted here and there with winding stream and lake of shimmering hue; while stretching as far as human eye could see, lay Minnewaska, with her crystal waters sparkling in the sunshine, vying only with the arching heavens above in ethereal blue.  Protected on either side by wooded hill, from whose sides gushed forth the  of living waters, murmuring brooks, and whispering trees, songs of birdsafloat the breeze; these were thy charm.”

Can you picture where I spent my childhood days?  The land that my father's family helped settle?  Coming from the illustrious land of Norway, they must have felt right at home.  At whatever point one opens my blogs, it is my hope that my Readers will be able to quiet down and rest in my words no matter what their circumstances.  Reading my blogs - from start to finish or every now and then - is to exist for a time in my world.  Did my gift come from those days spent on the shore or did it come from those who graced this country as pioneers?  I would like to think both ... maybe it was my own precious gift for me alone from my Heavenly Father.

As I write, I sink into the rhythm of waves rolling in ... I walk towards the light speaking truth or, I should say, truth as I know it.  From the first of my blogs, I have felt free and my being has soared.  There is a freedom in the written word ... a freedom to reflect on my own experiences and delve into my own gift of life.  I have reached a time where I am comfortable in my own skin.

I wish I was the woman I am now when I was seventeen, but that is water under the bridge.  It takes living life to grow and create the substance of personhood.   It took walking the road of life, making mistakes, and celebrating successes to become me.  I choose not to second guess where the Lord has taken me ... Who knows, He may not be done yet and expect I may have many more life's experiences ahead of me!!

What started out as a cool, shady day has turned into a sweltering hot afternoon!  Even the trees are beginning to suffer from the drought.  I certainly won't have any trouble finding weeds/grasses for Fall bouquets!  The little trees I planted are still alive - I took off all the leaves which helped with the stress of the heat.



I was no accident ... the place I was born was no accident ... my heritage was no accident ... my walk, no accident.  I was given the gift of life ... and, in the end, my story will be what I did with my days and the people I met along the road of life!

Miss Dottie declares this to be a day of celebration for the gift of life that we've all been given.  We're here not by mere chance but for a purpose.  Discover yours before it's too late!!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... ya you!!

“For you have heard my vows, O God; you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name” (Psalm 61:5).

“That I might live for God” (Galatians 2:19).

Reach up, then out...

Come on in!

August 16, 2012

Good Morning, Readers!  Come on over to Franklin Street and let's chat awhile.  I've left the door open for you!! I trust that you had a good night's sleep.  My dogren were up at the crack of dawn for their early morning trip outside.  I stood in the door of the cottage drinking in the freshness of the cool air.  Is it possible that Fall is just around the corner?  I decided to put some coffee on and pull a few weeds in the garden.  I haven't felt much like being out in the sweltering heat so it was a welcome change.

Yesterday, I spent most of my day ministering to Mom as she went through a long battery of tests.  As caregivers know, tending to the elderly and/or disabled loved ones can be draining no matter how much we love them.  Maybe it's just that we selfishly wish they were back to their old selves?  On the flip side, I realize how much I love Mom and WANT to give to her and tend to her needs.  She makes me a less selfish person and I like that!  As I reach up to the Lord for patience, an extra measure of love and empathy, and tenderness, I am able to reach out to her.  If I don't fill myself first, I am overwhelmed with my duties as a faithful daughter.  She always asks me why I am so good to her and I tell her, "I am able to love you because Christ loved me first."

Several times in my life, people have told me that I am very predictable.  I guess that could be bad or good depending on what is meant.  Reaching up before reaching out is a predictable part of my day.  I love to start my day with a steaming hot cup of coffee followed by a Coke Zero and breakfast.  I reached that ah ha moment when I stepped on the scale last week so I am counting calories.  I am bummed that I have had to cut out my big bowl of ice cream every day but that's a small price to pay for getting into my Fall clothes!!  Five pounds down this week.  Yea!!!!  My diet is predictable:  1200 calories per day.

Most days, you could predict that I could be found either on the back patio or in the cottage, reading my Bible, praying, and filling myself with good stuff to start my day.  If there are things I need to do, I make a note of them as to not forget.  I text my kids to tell them that I love them and am thinking of them.  My voice via text is a familiar predictable sight on their phones.  Some habits are good ones and I know which ones are important.

What happens when I don't reach up before I reach out?  STRESS!!!!  After a week (sometimes less), I get more "self" centered and crabby ... I complain and feel put upon.  My view of the world is darker and I get more accepting of the world's way of doing things.  The old tapes in my head start to unwind and I start replaying the muck and mire.  Resentments rear their ugly heads and I become more self absorbed about who did what to me.  All of a sudden, I don't like me anymore and I retreat into my cave of darkness to lick my wounds.

Does that sound like a good place to be?  Not for me.  I have to manage my life by being more aware and predictable in my good habits.  You can call it a crutch, I suppose, but without putting God first in my life, I am a mess.  I am a disabled person myself you see ... I need a crutch to help me walk straight and not fall.  I need the indwelling of the Holy Spirit so that I am able to forgive myself and others past, present, and future.  I need that spiritual truth about myself realizing that I need to keep my slates clean and make amends where necessary.  My crutch keeps me balanced.  I look at having a crutch in a good way ... how about you?

This morning as I reached up, I stopped mid sentence and looked out the french doors.  What had started as a rather dark morning, had given way to sunlight.  All of a sudden, I felt this overwhelming sense of peace and well-being.  I knew that God was in control and that whatever would transpire this day I would be able to handle.  How does one describe joy?  It's more than just a feeling of giddiness, that's for sure.  For me, it's knowing that while I tend to my day, God has a big picture in mind.  If I just lean on Him, everything is going to be okay.

I have journeyed through the Bible to Lamentations.  Today's reading was so awesome.  If you don't read your Bible, I would encourage you to do so.  It is a best seller worth reading -- over and over.  You won't be bored, for sure!



It is easy to be generous when your bank account is full.  The real test comes when your bank account is dwindling and you see a need.  What then?  Do you reach up then out?  Let's all meditate on that one today!

My goodness, it's nearly noon.  It's time that I got busy and used some of my energy and joy!!  I have miles to go before I sleep.  Don't forget, Readers -- you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!  That's predictable AND a given!!

Miss Dottie

"Great is his faithfulness; his lovingkindness begins afresh each day.  My soul claims the Lord as my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him."

Lamentations 3:23-24

One day at a time...

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

August 15, 2012

Hi, Readers!  I'm glad that this day is coming to a close.  I am absolutely drained and tired to the bone.  I just took a sudsy bath, ate my first meal of the day (it's 4:18pm), and would love to climb into bed.  I won't simply because I would be up about midnight.  Maybe chatting with you would wake me up.

I had mentioned in a previous blog that Mom S had decided she wanted new knees.  She had tests last Monday and today we were at the hospital from 8am to after 3pm.  After today, she said she wasn't ever going to mention anything about not feeling well or wanting any kind of surgery.  I didn't agree with the not feeling well part but, surgery (?), that part I said, "Yes!"

As with most hospitals, we had to hurry up and get there only to have to wait and wait and wait.  They had her paperwork messed up and had to call the doctor's office and the nursing home to get that straightened out.  I thought it was going to be just a stress test and echo cardiogram but nooooooo, she had more labs including 2 sticks into the artery in her wrist and additional tests to determine whether she had blockage to the heart.  Mom is dead weight so getting her from her wheel chair on to a table meant calling some burly aides to lift and place her where she needed to be (they were called 6 times!).  Each time she was moved, tears would flow and she would yell out my name.  I held her hand, wiped her tears, and encouraged her...  She would yell out, "Why does everything bad happen to me."  I explained that all of us go through trials at sometime in our lives ... she would make it through.  That didn't calm her and by the time she was finished, she was covered in sweat, crying, and shaking.  I felt so sad, wishing I could fix "it" for her ... wishing I could have taken the tests for her and had been able to endure the sticks to the artery for blood.  I wished I could give her some of my optimism, my perseverance, my joy.  I was helpless ... all I could do was stand by her, hold her, and whisper that she would be able to make it through the day.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you."  Hebrews 13:5

My day with Mom helped me to understand more about how the Lord feels about his children.  When we go through trials, He is there to comfort us.  In his case though, He did take the lashings, the spear in the side, and felt the spit of his tormentors run down his face.  He had nails pounded into his wrists,  was hung on a cross, and jeered as he took his last breaths.  He experienced the fickleness of the human race ... one moment praising him, the next tearing him to pieces.  Was this a wicked man?  Did he lie, steal, cheat, murder?  No, he healed the sick, encouraged the down trodden, spoke truth, and glorified his father in heaven.  He lived a perfect life and still he was treated like dirt by his own people.  He took the blows for me ... for you too, Readers!  Just like I love Mom, He loves us!!

"He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.  Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not."  Isaiah 53:3

This past week I reconnected with a nephew I haven't seen since the 1970's.  I remembered him as a handsome boy with a gentle spirit ... he had been adopted and was welcomed into the family with excitement, love, and joy!  I will look forward to learning more about him, who he has become, and the family he leads.  Life is full of unexpected surprises.

^"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13

As I greet each new day, I look forward to the journey before me.  I have hope that the day will be a blessing and trust that the Lord will not give me more than I can handle.  So far it's worked out just fine.  Dr. Earheart looked at Mom today and said, "Virginia, take it one day at a time.  Enjoy your family and this day.  God is in control."  Mom replied, "Well, that's easier said than done."  Is it?  I've learned to survive on this concept sometimes breaking my days down into hours or minutes.  God has equipped me with the tools I need to minister to others and make my days count for something.  Knowing that my Heavenly Father has my best interests at heart, I am at peace...

I think I will go watch So You Think You Can Dance.  I am always in awe at the determination, talent, and perseverance these young folks have.  They face judgement, injuries, disqualification, and some experience the honor of being chosen to continue to dance for "the prize" of being number 1!  What happens if they are number 1?  They start to climb another mountain...

Always know you are loved and prayed for ... from my corner in the cottage, I am signing off as your friend, Miss Dottie!

"But you are a shield around me, O LORD;
you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.

To the LORD I cry aloud,
and he answers me from his holy hill.
Selah

I lie down and sleep;
I wake again, because the LORD sustains me.

I will not fear the tens of thousands
drawn up against me on every side." (Psalm 3:3 - 6)

 

It's a hot Monday in Texas!

August 13, 2012

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood ... yes it is!!  Going to be another scorcher though.  I pulled out many of the annuals I had planted in the Spring.  They were struggling and I was tired of pouring water on them.  Figured I'd save water for the perennials, trees, and shrubs.  The over the top heat has really bothered me this year ... the thought of putting in a sprinkler system gets more and more appealing!

After another restful night in the cottage, I got up early to get ready to take Mom to the hospital for tests.  She's been quite depressed and got it in her mind last week that she wanted to have surgery on her knees so that she wouldn't be bound to her wheel chair.  Mom is very much of sound mind and she took it upon herself to approach her doctor about her wishes as well as Michael.  Michael and the doctor told her that they felt that she would not come through an extensive surgery but she has been insistent.  Anyway, today, she started a battery of tests -- labs, pulmonary, xrays (knees & chest).  Wednesday, I take her back for a stress test/echo gram.  I wheeled her back to her room at the nursing home -- she was anxious to have lunch and a nap.

While I sat with Mom in the waiting room at the hospital, I did some people watching.  Wonderful way to pass the time!!  There was a man who sat down across from me ... I swear, he was a giant!  I asked how tall he was and he said, "7'1" tall."  Holy cow, I've never seen anyone that tall.  His wife looked at me and said, "He looks menacing but he's a pussy cat."  I wondered where they lived and how in the world he functioned in everyday life.  There were people of all ethnic descents, shapes, and sizes ... the very young and the very old.  Some were smiling, some looked like they would bite my head off if I even smiled at them.

The aides from the nursing home were attentive to Mom's anxiety and were very assuring during her tests.  I held her hand and comforted her when the nurse had a tough time locating an artery (no, not a vein, an artery).  Like a small child, Mom, whimpered and pushed her head into my chest.  I whispered, "There, there, Mom, it's going to be okay."  She was pleased that she got a band aid over her four sticks and that she could blow hard into the pulmonary gizmo.  The nurses cheered for her and we were off to xray.  Mom didn't like having to hold still and have her knees bent this way and that.  I wondered how she would ever stand up to therapy even if she did make it through knee replacement surgery.

I left the nursing home thanking God for Mom and the blessing she is to me.  I was glad that I could comfort her and hold her hand during the whole ordeal.  I also thought about how segregated the elderly are these days from family life.  Are they out of sight, out of mind?  Many of our young ones aren't around the elderly and would prefer not to be around them.  It was common place for me as a child to visit my grandmothers.  I was in awe of the life history written on their faces.  I would hold my Grandmother Maggie's hands and marvel at their softness.  She had many lesions removed from her face and would cover them as best she could with small band aids.  On my visits as a young woman, I would bring my camera ... she would cover her face with her hands -- "Uf da, don't take my picture."  My son remembers her as being scary looking.  Sadly, it's probably because we only visited once a year and he wasn't around older people to know what they looked like.

Each time I visit the nursing home, I am reminded how fragile life is.  My father died at age 55 -- a young man whose life was cut short by cancer.  My mother passed away at age 74 -- OMG, that's only 8 years older than I am now!  My mother was a beautiful woman with white white hair ... she didn't look her age; however, her years were blemished by depression and Rheumatoid Arthritis and many of her years were wracked with pain.  She lived with me,  Jane, and Tommy for six months before she died.  We all have fond memories of that time.  I mourned her death horribly and I still miss her.

One thing is for certain, well, I guess two:  we are born and we all die.  It's what we do in between those events that is so important.  Mom said to me today, "Why did I smoke so long?"  Well, like all of us, we think that our choices we make in our youth won't make any difference later on.  Wrong....  Many times in the last ten years I've looked in the mirror and said, "Why in the world did I do _ ____." Because that was my choice at the moment, that's why.

The cottage is a perfect place for me to do my Bible reading.  Today, I read in Jeremiah 50-52.  What do you think about this statement?  Our sense of sin is in proportion to our nearness to God

My goodness, I've rambled on from subject to subject...  Well, that's what our days are like ... right?  As I get ready to close my eyes, I want you to know that I love you and am praying for you ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

A cottage fit for Miss Dottie

August 12, 2012

Good Morning, Readers!  I spent the night out in the little cottage and am finding that it is exactly what I hoped it would be ... quiet, serene, a place to read, write, and reflect!  Mission accomplished.

Miss Madison flew back to Florida yesterday.  We've been texting so I know she arrived safe and sound.  I know that her family was welcoming her back with arms open wide -- this texting thing gives me up to the minute details!  Madison's energy is contagious and oh goodness, THE HOUSE IS SOOOO QUIET!  It's going to take me a few days to get back into the mode of just thinking about Michael, me, and the dogren.

Last Monday, I had 19 (yep, 19) shots in my head and neck.  For a few days afterwards, I have wicked side effects ... increased headaches, pain, and a general feeling of being "off."  I go down this road every 3 months and, at least I know that the side effects subside and I enjoy several months of headache free living!  Madison held my hand through the ordeal and has been my driver since she arrived in Texas.  She was such a help to me, maybe I am having some withdrawals since she left!!??

I decided to experience the cottage for myself the first time since it's been completed.  I still have family photos and some decorator items to add, but it's livable.  First, I filled the claw foot tub and took a wonderful bubble bath.  OMG, everything, and I do mean everything that I've read or heard about those tubs is true.  I had bubbles up to my neck and could lean back and soak to my heart's content!!  I think I need one of those little wire thingies that goes across the tub so that I can read and sip on some tea while my body rejuvenates in the warm water.  I looked up to the rafters and could see the rusticness made romantic by the white washing of the wood.  I looked about me and everything meant something to me.  I couldn't quit smiling!! 1 claw foot tub, 1 capful of bubble bath, warm water, soft music, candles = one relaxed Miss Dottie!!

Hmmm ... hmmm...  I found myself humming as I donned my pj's.  The wing back chair next to the fireplace welcomed me.  Nestling in, I was reminded of the many times I'd sat in this chair (it's had many homes!) ... it was a perfect place to read and wind down from the heckticness of the day.  I glanced over to the table beside me .... need to get those photos out of storage!  There was a strange peace that came over me and I began to pray prayers of gratitude for all the blessings of the past couple weeks.  Ever find yourself so overcome with joy that you feel like you're going to burst?  Well, that's how I was feeling at that moment.

Sadie had been following me -- she laid beside the tub as I bathed, moved into the closet with me as I looked for my favorite pj's, and was laying at my feet as I read.  Her snoring made me giggle ... what a goof ball she is!  I was glad that her liver and thyroid meds are working and she is once again her old self.  All of a sudden, she stretched, yawned and gave me that "I need to go out" look.  I stood in the door of the cottage watching her do her business then turn to chasing bugs.  All I had to say was, "Come get your treat" and she came running back to me. 

It was time to go through my nightly routine (yes, mom, Ponds cold cream still works to take off  makeup!) and tuck us into bed.  We were able to put a twin sized bed in the corner of the main room of the cottage ... a perfect place for a nap on a lazy Sunday afternoon and for a good night's sleep!  I turned out the lights and Sadie decided that she would keep watch from the end of the bed.  Before I knew it, the sun was shining through the doors waking me from a deep sleep.  "Good Morning, world!"

I have been catching up on reading and writing this morning.  Give me a cup of coffee and my Daily Walk Bible and I am prepared to tackle the day!!  Am I a person who enjoys routine?  Sometimes yes ... sometimes, no.   I do find that without my coffee, Bible reading, and prayer, my days get rather tangled and I get rather disjointed.  Having Fibromyalgia has meant being more aware of my commitments and knowing that I may need extra rest.  Having Fibromyalgia has meant that I seize every opportunity to go and do when I am able.  Having Fibromyalgia has meant pushing myself to keep in shape physically, mentally, and spiritually.  Does having Fibromyalgia rule my life ... absolutely not!!  However, anyone with any type of chronic illness knows that awareness is important...

As for me and my house (cottage), we will serve the Lord!!  (Joshua 24:15)  I know, first hand, that the cottage is comfortable.  The only hitch I have found is where I placed the air conditioning unit.  I may need to do some rearranging of furniture.  This I know, the cottage will serve the purposes of the Lord.  It has already!

Enjoy your "Son"day!!

Miss Dottie

Know who you are and what you want...

August 5, 2012

Phew!  It is double ugly hot outside.  In Texas, August is typically our month of extreme heat.  It's just thirty days but those thirty days seem long and searing.  It's a time of getting up early ... a time of iced drinks ... a time to slow down and enjoy inside projects.

Madison, Angie, Miss Dottie

Time with my fifteen year old granddaughter, Madison, has been special.  All too soon, she will be climbing on the plane to head back to Florida.  I hope that she has enjoyed her time here with her Texas family.  We've had this "thing" going on ... I would ask her what she wanted to do or what she wanted to eat and she would say, "Whatever is fine."  I told her "whatever" wasn't fine.  I really meant what I said when I asked her a question.  Now she laughs at me and says, "Oh, I know ... I need to make a decision."  I like it even when (I think) her reply isn't what I would say or pick.  I love seeing the brightness of her eyes as she forges ahead!

It's so important that we know who we are, what we stand for, and what we want.  To be someone that someone else wanted me to be cost me years of joyful living.  I was afraid of being chastised so I wimped out ... I let the strong willed people of this world rule my life.  One night in the Fall of 1979 I broke ... "No more ... no more."  The smallest decisions were tough because I was afraid of making the wrong choice.  I shook when I started standing up for myself.  I always measured my choices (at least most of them) with how they would affect my relationship with others.

Funny how life shapes us ... A long time ago, I dated a young man who gave me the book, Gift from the Sea, written by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.  I think he saw more in me than I saw in myself.  To him, I was bright, beautiful, an amazing conversationalist, and a leader.  To me, I was a rather shy seventeen year old, who loved deep philosophical conversations ... my world was so small ... mostly within a 30 mile radius of Glenwood, MN.  He challenged me to find my passion in life and come out of my shell.  What a journey it's been ... seasons of life have brought different passions and I am no longer afraid to voice my "real" opinion.  If you ask me a question, you can be sure that the answer I give you will be my own!

I've taken some time to decide what I stand for ... light, truth, my Lord.  I stand up for the rights of animals, children, and my family.  You can call me stodgy and old fashioned if you like ... I am an ethical and moral woman who has experienced enough of life to know that unethical and immoral behavior ends in ruin.  I take the high road when it's easier to follow the crowd.  I love to laugh and have fun enjoying each day as a new adventure.  I keep my slate clean and sleep soundly at night.  Now, that's not so bad is it??

If I could wave my magic wand over my Readers and family, my prayer would be that all of you would discover your core, the yearnings of your heart, and move towards those each day.  Don't be afraid; you might just be surprised at what has been laying dormant just waiting to be unearthed!!  Romans 8:31 says, "...If God is for us, who can be against us?" 

On that note, I will sign off.  Madison and I have places to go and people to meet!!

Miss Dottie

 

 

Holy Cow, What did I do?

August 4, 2012


OMG, what a crazy day.  I had been eating peanuts then went to fill my pill box for the next two weeks.  I don't take many meds but find it easier to have everything measured out.  Anyway, my granddaughter, Madison, came in to the bedroom.  I was talking with Michael and Madison, and got totally distracted.  I got up from the bed with a handful of Trazadone (my sleep aid) in my hand; and, as I went to leave the room, put a handful in my mouth -- it didn't take me long to realize that I wasn't munching on peanuts!  Yeak, yuk, barf...  I ran to the bathroom and spit out what I could.  I should have rinsed my mouth but instead I drank some of my Coke.  Lesson learned:  Fill mouth with water, swish it around and spit it out not swallow!

I did call my pharmacist daughter, Jane, and asked her if I'd done something rash.  She said that if I started feeling off to head for the Emergency Room.  Instead, Madison and I headed for the Czech Bakery in West to get some Kolaches for breakfast.  Madison couldn't leave this area without experiencing the mouth watering, melt in your mouth pastries made on site.  She agreed they were quite good.  She wondered if we could go back to get cinnamon rolls before she left so she could try those.  EVERYTHING is good there.


It only takes a split second to just do something quite stupid and the results can be catastrophic.  I was lucky ... I could have swallowed all the pills I popped in my mouth.  I got enough in me to require a very long nap.  All in all, it turned out okay because I was tired and the nap did wonders for my achy body.

I was thinking about accidents, temptations ... those things that occur in a split second.  We have to be able to react quickly.  To make the wrong decision can make the difference between life and death.  I heard a comment the other day ... "Well, if it's not your time, nothing will happen."  What do you think?  Will God protect us from our own stupidity?


It says in the Bible that we are not to test our God.  (Deuteronomy 6:16) It also says that if we insist on rebelling and sinning, He will give us over to ourselves.  (Romans 1:24)  Does that mean He doesn't love us?  No, not at all ... He gives us free will; and, with that, the consequences that follow will be of our own making.

Why is "thou shalt not" so threatening?  I am a follow the rules person so obedience is just part of my makeup.  Usually behind the thou shalt nots is sound reasoning.  If you drive and text, you aren't paying attention to the crazy driver next to you or the car that slams on it's brakes in a split second.  Your attention needs to be on what you're doing -- I needed to be focused on putting pills in my pill box rather than accidentally popping them in my mouth.

1959 Galaxie 500 Ford - Color? Geranium

Growing up, my parents rarely allowed me to use the family car.  If I did get their permission, I needed to put gas in myself and they made it very clear that if I put a scratch on the car it would be my obligation to fix it.  Just to feel the keys in my hand meant being aware of my responsibilities.  Since my seventeen year old cousin was killed in a careless accident  involving teen pranks, they were very vigilant in knowing where I was going, with whom, and made me well aware of the fact that I was to act responsibly.  Adult privileges were earned not randomly given.

At any age, accidents happen.  We rarely set out to do something that is flat out wrong.  Does a young trusting teenage girl plan to get an STD or pregnant?  Does a young man mean to hurt someone in a hazing incident?  Does that innocent lunch date with a co-worker mean anything more than lunch at first?  As a sixty-five year old, I am fully aware that I need to be on the top of my game when I agree to babysit my grandchildren.  I am aware than too many pain pills can lead to addiction and an interrupted life.  Why now?  Why am I so much wiser now?  A life of living, observing, and being affected by not only my own choices but the choices of others has seasoned me!

This afternoon, Michael and I had the choice of watching the Olympics or the movie 8 Mile with Madison.  We chose 8 Mile - the story of rapper Eminem.   We watched the movie and discussed what was going on.  St. Francis of Assisi says that we are to seek to understand and I like that rather than jumping to conclusions.  It turned out, our choice was a good one...

As you go through your day, I pray that you will become more aware of your own choices and how they affect not only yourself but others as well.  Sometimes we can experience a redo but often times, what's done is done never to be recaptured.  As for me, I learned that pills are not peanuts!!!!!

Miss Dottie