It's a hot Monday in Texas!

August 13, 2012

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood ... yes it is!!  Going to be another scorcher though.  I pulled out many of the annuals I had planted in the Spring.  They were struggling and I was tired of pouring water on them.  Figured I'd save water for the perennials, trees, and shrubs.  The over the top heat has really bothered me this year ... the thought of putting in a sprinkler system gets more and more appealing!

After another restful night in the cottage, I got up early to get ready to take Mom to the hospital for tests.  She's been quite depressed and got it in her mind last week that she wanted to have surgery on her knees so that she wouldn't be bound to her wheel chair.  Mom is very much of sound mind and she took it upon herself to approach her doctor about her wishes as well as Michael.  Michael and the doctor told her that they felt that she would not come through an extensive surgery but she has been insistent.  Anyway, today, she started a battery of tests -- labs, pulmonary, xrays (knees & chest).  Wednesday, I take her back for a stress test/echo gram.  I wheeled her back to her room at the nursing home -- she was anxious to have lunch and a nap.

While I sat with Mom in the waiting room at the hospital, I did some people watching.  Wonderful way to pass the time!!  There was a man who sat down across from me ... I swear, he was a giant!  I asked how tall he was and he said, "7'1" tall."  Holy cow, I've never seen anyone that tall.  His wife looked at me and said, "He looks menacing but he's a pussy cat."  I wondered where they lived and how in the world he functioned in everyday life.  There were people of all ethnic descents, shapes, and sizes ... the very young and the very old.  Some were smiling, some looked like they would bite my head off if I even smiled at them.

The aides from the nursing home were attentive to Mom's anxiety and were very assuring during her tests.  I held her hand and comforted her when the nurse had a tough time locating an artery (no, not a vein, an artery).  Like a small child, Mom, whimpered and pushed her head into my chest.  I whispered, "There, there, Mom, it's going to be okay."  She was pleased that she got a band aid over her four sticks and that she could blow hard into the pulmonary gizmo.  The nurses cheered for her and we were off to xray.  Mom didn't like having to hold still and have her knees bent this way and that.  I wondered how she would ever stand up to therapy even if she did make it through knee replacement surgery.

I left the nursing home thanking God for Mom and the blessing she is to me.  I was glad that I could comfort her and hold her hand during the whole ordeal.  I also thought about how segregated the elderly are these days from family life.  Are they out of sight, out of mind?  Many of our young ones aren't around the elderly and would prefer not to be around them.  It was common place for me as a child to visit my grandmothers.  I was in awe of the life history written on their faces.  I would hold my Grandmother Maggie's hands and marvel at their softness.  She had many lesions removed from her face and would cover them as best she could with small band aids.  On my visits as a young woman, I would bring my camera ... she would cover her face with her hands -- "Uf da, don't take my picture."  My son remembers her as being scary looking.  Sadly, it's probably because we only visited once a year and he wasn't around older people to know what they looked like.

Each time I visit the nursing home, I am reminded how fragile life is.  My father died at age 55 -- a young man whose life was cut short by cancer.  My mother passed away at age 74 -- OMG, that's only 8 years older than I am now!  My mother was a beautiful woman with white white hair ... she didn't look her age; however, her years were blemished by depression and Rheumatoid Arthritis and many of her years were wracked with pain.  She lived with me,  Jane, and Tommy for six months before she died.  We all have fond memories of that time.  I mourned her death horribly and I still miss her.

One thing is for certain, well, I guess two:  we are born and we all die.  It's what we do in between those events that is so important.  Mom said to me today, "Why did I smoke so long?"  Well, like all of us, we think that our choices we make in our youth won't make any difference later on.  Wrong....  Many times in the last ten years I've looked in the mirror and said, "Why in the world did I do _ ____." Because that was my choice at the moment, that's why.

The cottage is a perfect place for me to do my Bible reading.  Today, I read in Jeremiah 50-52.  What do you think about this statement?  Our sense of sin is in proportion to our nearness to God

My goodness, I've rambled on from subject to subject...  Well, that's what our days are like ... right?  As I get ready to close my eyes, I want you to know that I love you and am praying for you ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie