When I'm Sixty-Four!

When I'm Sixty-four...

Hey!  How's your day going?  Mine has been super busy.  I have been trying to get ready for a humongous garage sale.  I am feeling rather overwhelmed ... my entire house needs to be on tables.  Maybe I need to have a week long garage sale moving from room to room.  Right now, I have boxes everywhere and need to get things organized.  The realtor is having an open house on Sunday so I need to be sure everything is cleaned up for that.  I am in dire need to take a break ... grab a cup of coffee, a coke or whatever and let's chat awhile.

As usual, I woke up singing some sort of song ... sometimes, I get the words mixed up and have my own song with a medley of other songs.  Anyway, this morning I woke up singing the song, When I'm Sixty-Four. Since I am sixty four, it held special meaning for me. I found this video with the song and wanted to pass it on.  Enjoy!

When the Beatles came to America so many years ago, they brought with them their music, their cropped haircuts, lovely British accent, and dress.  It was in my teenaged years that they grew popular then gradually separated and each developed their own new ways of thinking and making music.  They were a talented bunch of young men and we have been blessed by their contributions to the music world as we know it now.

When they sang the song, When I'm Sixty-four they sang it as young men saying, "many years from now."  When I first sang the song, sixty-four was indeed many years down the road.  It seemed so silly to think of losing my hair and being old.  Today, I'm told that sixty-four is the new fifty-four ... my generation, for the most part, has stayed vibrant and alive.  I like that!

A couple days ago, I had a phone call from my friend, Pam, in California.  She had left a message and was so excited.  When I called her back we had a lively chat.  She told me that she had gone to get her nails done and ended up getting eyelash extensions.  I'd never heard of them and wanted to get the whole scoop.  I could just see her laying on the table for an hour and a half having the lashes applied one at a time.  I asked her about the results and she giggled telling me how much she liked them.  I've worn false eyelashes for years and we continued to share little tidbits of things new we were trying.  She was also getting ready to go back to Minnesota to meet up with other gal pals of mine to go on a bus tour of the Fall foliage in New England.  I told her that I hoped they would call me every now and then and tell me how the trip was going.  I just know that they are going to have a fun time.  Sixty-four is just a number!!

Today, I stood looking in the mirror before getting dressed ... no makeup ... this was what sixty-four looked like for me.  I studied my face ... oh gosh, the brown age spot on my cheek no longer looked like a mole, it had grown ... oh gosh, the lines on my forehead had deepened and I wondered if Botox would be in order ... oh gosh, my hair was sticking up all over and I wondered if I should cut it ... My mind was going a million miles a minute.  As a little girl, I was told that I was the ugliest kid ever so I've always been conscious about putting my best foot forward in how I look and dress.  As I stood there naked to the world and myself, I got quiet and knew contentment.  I was in love with sixty-four and comfortable in my skin.  Yes, my body had changed over the years ... with each surgery, my body has begun to resemble a road map ... the road map to wellness!  With each challenge overcome, the lines on my face have shown courage and compassion.  The age spot on my left cheek ... hours of fun in the sun and working in my garden.  My face and body tells a story ... my story ... sixty-four years of living life!

I keep going back to my trip to Minnesota this past Summer.  It was so good for me.  I felt free and unencumbered by the stressors of life.  I sat with my gal pals and laughed til my sides ached.  It was like being a teenager again.  I can't explain it, but it truly was life changing.  We lifted our drinks and toasted each other and celebrated our lives ... life wasn't over, it was a new beginning.  Did we get together and live in the past?  Maybe, but for only a short time.  We talked of bucket lists and all the things we wanted to do now moving forward.  Life at sixty-four meant newness and a time to discover all the things that we didn't have time for as wives, mothers, and the business that comes with raising a family.

At sixty-four, I value my independence.  I keep myself fit spiritually, mentally, and physically.  Each day brings a new start ... I may not move as fast as I used to but I am able to do what's important.  I savor life one day at a time, making each day count and look forward to tomorrow.  Today, I was thinking about my own bucket list and how I needed to be more focused rather than just letting each day pass by.  Since I value relationships, many of the things in my bucket list include others.  I "bid" hoping that they will want to share my dreams.  I also tell myself to not wait for others to join me ... sometimes, I have to walk on ahead alone!

I've known people who are lonely at sixty-four and I feel that way at times.  As a young mother, I gave of my love and time.  My husband and children were so much of my world and busyness was a way of life.  Once, my children were out of the nest and living lives of their own, I needed to find new ways of redefining myself.  I took and taught classes at church, established new careers and owned my own businesses.  Looking back it seemed like every few years, I was going through a major growth spurt spiritually and mentally.  I often times wondered, if I was making a difference in this world ... I hate to think of myself as just taking up space waiting to die.

When all is said and done, what does sixty-four mean to me?

Sixty-four means finding and savoring love

Sixty-four means accepting self and others

Sixty-four means winning is just not that important

Sixty-four means sharing gained wisdom

Sixty-four means staying youthful in my thinking

Sixty-four means wearing purple

Sixty-four means loving the color red and the vibrancy it brings

Sixty-four means holding God close

Sixty-four means forgiving others who have harmed me

Sixty-four means holding my hand out for reconciliation

Sixty-four means letting go of the past and keeping my eyes on my tomorrows

Sixty-four means keeping a positive outlook

Sixty-four means seizing the opportunity to touch people's lives

Sixty-four means wanting to be important to my family and friends

Sixty-four means shedding a tear when hurt and not apologizing

Sixty-four means letting go of expectations and appreciating what I have

Sixty-four means seizing every opportunity to grow and learn

Sixty-Four means everything doesn't need to be logical

More than anything, I think that as we grow on in years that we want to feel important, loved and accepted.  In days gone by, the elderly were cared for in homes and held in esteem by their families.  I know how much I loved having my mother stay with me the six months before she died.  One night after she passed, I woke up and saw her sitting on the bottom of my bed.  She left me with these words, "I am in a better place."   Was I dreaming?  I am choosing to think that she really was there and that she knew my heart and how much I loved her.

This sixty-four year old will soon be sixty-five in December.  Will I feel differently?  I don't know ... for now, I am content at sixty-four!

I hope that you are enjoying whatever age you are.  I sign off reminding you that you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!



Sixty-four means attending
Grandparent's Day at Nicholas's school!



6 Easy Steps to A New Gateway...

The Falling Leaves...

And a top of the morning to you, my Readers!  It's a beautiful Fall day in North Texas ... absolutely perfect weather to get outside and breathe in some fresh air.  I couldn't believe it when Michael got up and was ready for our morning walk this morning ... no prompting on my part either!  To walk around the outside of our subdivision is exactly one mile so we got in a good hike.  The dogren were so excited at the prospect of checking out every fire hydrant.  It's always fun to watch them as they explore their surroundings.

As I usually do, I think about my day on my walks and what I want to do for fun and for moving forward.  When I got home, I walked in the house using the front door.  We had the window in the den fixed yesterday and I wanted to get a birds eye view from the front door looking out to the backyard.  Much better now!!  As I crossed the threshold, I felt the warmth of the living room and the beckoning of the den in front of me.  Why did I feel that sense of well being and invitation?  Because I live here that's why and my home tells the story of the people living and visiting here!


Many people have asked me how I put together my home using such unique and interesting things.  It was eight years ago that Michael and I moved into our home.  We had picked out the floor plan and built the house from scratch.  We had a clean blank slate to start our new life together.  Now that it is for sale, we walk through the rooms remembering their transformation...  I really have found my nitch in home staging with a bent towards making a room feel lived in and comfortable.  I have children, friends, and pets and don't want my home to be a place where everyone tip toes around worrying about disturbing the contents.

This morning, I want to talk about the gateway to my home.  We chose black paint for our front door ... a color that goes well with all sorts of wreath colors ... a color of elegance.  I keep a pot of fresh flowers on the front step and a banner for each season welcoming those who visit us.  Once you purchase a pot, maintaining it is a low cost way of saying, "Come on in."  I have made each wreath for the seasonal changes and keep them in plastic hanging bags in the closet when not in use.  I spray the wreaths and touch them up each year and they have lasted me the eight years we have lived here.  Think long term...


I decided to clear out the foyer this morning mainly because I wanted to fill nail holes and touch up paint but I also wanted to help my Readers ready their own personal spaces for Fall step by step...


1.  Start with a clean pallet.  Pull everything out of your foyer.  Touch up paint, wipe off baseboards, and mop the floor.  I had decided on an off white color of paint when we built the house and a dark oak wood floor and have never tired of the combination.  Add an overhead light of interest.  I found mine on the clearance table at Lowe's for about $25.00.  It's made of iron and is on a dimmer switch so I can have it as bright or dim as my mood dictates.  I am such a romantic soul and love the ambiance lighting affords! 

2.  How do you want to greet your guests?  Like your eyes are the gateway to your soul, your foyer is the gateway to your home.  Get out a table and put some of your favorite things on it.  Because, the living room is so close to the entry, I used it to gather accessories and art.  Now that your room is cleared, it's time to dress it up!!  Choose a table, chest or anything that would hold keys, gloves, scarves, accessories as your centerpiece.  Years ago, I had bought a serving table for my formal dining room.  As a favorite piece it has graced many different spots in subsequent houses.  This go around, I put it into the entry.  The wood compliments the floor and the metal base compliments the lighting fixture.

3.  Add a rug to your space.  I happen to love oriental rugs because of their durability, color, and value.  Every time I walk to the front door (most of the time barefoot), my toes nestle in the softness underneath me.  Oriental rugs can be purchased at garage sales, discount stores, or at the most expensive rug galleries.  One thing I have gotten used to doing when purchasing an oriental rug is to haggle a little!  The rug in the entry way came from a dealer that was going out of business ... he had piles of rugs and just needed to get rid of them ... my gain!!

4.  Now, it's time to add the jewelry to your room.  You'd be surprised at what you have hidden in your closets!  Since, I am decorating the foyer for Fall today, I was on the lookout for earthy colors of red, orange, green, brown with touches of bling!  I'm not big on Halloween but I sure do love the harvest colors of Fall!!

5.  Don't be afraid to try new things.  The world is open for your picking!  When on walks, I am always on the lookout for stuff on the street, curb, and in fields.  I love to scour places like HomeGoods, TJMaxx, Ross, Tuesday Morning; antique stores; garage sales; and, flea markets.  Don't forget those old family mementos and pieces of furniture ... photos, memorabilia, etc.  Think out of the box!!  Hang your art first.  One of the mistakes people make is to hang their art too high.  You want to hang your art at eye level and build on that.  The art you choose determines the color scheme in the room.  I have found that the art I love has deep tones that carry the accessory colors of every season.  I have had paintings and pictures for years ... they move when I do and are familiar friends.  For my entry walls, I selected some paintings of roses, a wonderful print called the Women IV, a wreath I made of eucalyptus leaves and twigs, and a cross.  Don't be afraid of pounding nails in your walls, a simple fill of white toothpaste and touch up paint can cover a multitude of sins!!  To add warmth, I placed a lamp (previously used in the master bedroom) on the table and beside it placed a lighted pumpkin.  I usually have personal photos of my grandchildren and pets on the table as well as candles and other odds and ends.  Because the house is on the market, I had to forgo my usual photos instead using pieces of visual interest:  a glass box given to me by my husband and a set of candles.  I am told by my realtor that I need to keep things simple.

Fall 2011

6.  My entry makeover is complete and it couldn't have been easier!  What did I spend for this make-over?  Nothing ... I had my accessories in tubs from past years,  in my closets and the twigs found on my walk.  You'd be surprised at what you have stashed away!  To change your entry from season to season, change your accessories just like you change your own jewelry!!

Fall 2010

Fall 2009

 How long did this makeover take?  Probably about an hour because I had to wait for the touched up paint to dry.  Your home, like mine, can be ready to welcome family and friends at a moment's notice at minimal cost!

We are living in times of trial and discouragement.  Many folks are out of work, struggling to make ends meet, and down right depressed.  I would encourage you to make your home a refuge of joy starting with it's gateway ... the front door and foyer.  Have fun!

Happy Fall Ya'll! 

 

Become...

Today has been one of those odd sorts of days.  I've been reading and doing further research on my family of origin.  I come from quite a colorful genealogical background!  At my Aunt Helen's Celebration of Life Service, my cousin, Nancy, had a purse that said, "Well behaved women rarely make history."  I really got a kick out of that then, and every time I look at that photo, I giggle.  Isn't it the truth?

When I was growing up, my parents were very strict and quite prim and proper.  Heaven would quake if someone spoke badly about anyone or behaved out of line.  Behavior was, well, just kind of accepted based on who you were.  "Isn't that just like ___________!"  You knew you were accepted into the family when you were described as "common."  For me to be acknowledged as the granddaughter of Maggie Pederson meant I came from good church-going stock.

I was one of those philosophical teenagers who thought everyone was wonderful and should be given equal rights.  My mother had a deep fear of anyone that wasn't white and spoke quite openly that she would move if she were in a movie theatre and a black person sat next to her.  When, she visited me in the 1980's and 1990's, she just shook her head at my colorful slate of friends.  I didn't understand what the big deal was ... still don't.  Something must have happened to her that she chose not to share with me.

As a young girl, my friends and I would gather together at Girl Scouts and giggle about the birds and the bees.  We were no naive ... so typical of young girls in the 1950's and 1960's.  Romance floated around us as we got interested in this boy then that one.  Songs from that era spoke of love and all it's glory ... we swooned over the teen singers who came to the Lakeside Ballroom to perform.  Notes were passed in class in school and we could hardly wait to get home and get on the family phone.  Long letters were written and kept in hidden places so moms and dads couldn't get a sneak peek.

There were the girls that did "it" and the ones that didn't.  Funny though, there were also the boys who did "it" and those that didn't.  I think it was a pretty even playing field.  There was this mystique about sex and we all wondered what it would be like.  My father scared me to death ... he told me that a boy would never marry a woman who he could get milk from for free.  He drilled it into my head that sex was bad and not to be experienced outside of marriage.  I believed him.

Outside of my very open mindedness, I was a pretty run of the mill teenager ... I always had this huge conscience hanging around my neck ... still do.  If I messed up, it would be coming in a few minutes after my 10 or 11 o'clock curfew.  I didn't present any big challenges for my parents and made sure that anything that would rock the boat was kept quiet.  My best friend, Lynda, and my other group of friends knew everything about me though ... no secrets!

When I moved away to college, I was fortunate to room with Lynda.  If one of us got into a prickly situation, the other one was there to counsel and be responsible.  Well, sometimes!  I tested the waters and found that college boys were quite different from high school boys.  Everything I had wondered was true ... they certainly were much more forward and being friends wasn't quite on their agendas.  Many were there to sow their wild oats!!

One night, Lynda and I were invited to a frat party in Fargo, ND.  I'd never tasted beer and upon arrival was given a Dixie cup filled to the brim.  It didn't taste good but I drank it anyway as did Lynda.  We got so embarrassingly sick and were puking on the grass.  Two young men took pity on us and drove us back to our dorm.  (To this day I wonder who they were as they were so kind and non judgemental)  I was sick for several days and vowed NEVER to lift beer to my lips every again.  That has stayed true to this day.  Another party we were invited to given by the wrestlers at Moorhead State, ended up being wilder than we wanted to experience.  We left and walked back to the dorm.  Later we heard that a coed was raped there.  We felt fortunate to have had the good sense to leave when we did.

As a freshman in college, life was being thrown at me right and left plus I was having to take classes that I'd never taken in high school ... chemistry, physics, biology, higher math...  I was a bright student but stretched to get a C in math and science.  With no one to keep a tight rein over me, I struggled with finding my own way, keeping a checkbook and figuring out what I wanted to do in life.

There was no such thing as cell phones or the Internet so courting a young lady was done quite differently.  One night, the phone rang in the center hall and I was called to the phone.  It was a young man who had been following me around campus.  He said that he was going to be at the next basketball game and that he would introduce himself.  I didn't have the good sense to be scared that someone had been following me nor did I worry about his proposition.  My naivete was blatantly obvious!

Of course, Lynda accompanied me to the basketball game and I met (I will call him) Adam.  The first time I laid eyes on him I was so taken back ... he was wearing an expensive black coat with a red plaid inside ... the collar was pulled up on his neck and he smelled of a wonderful cologne ... he was one handsome dude.  We talked for a few minutes and agreed to see each other.  I'd never met someone with such pizazz and self confidence ... he was quite versed in schmoozing!  Besides that, he was a Senior ... a Senior interested in me!!  He drove a convertible and dressed in the best of clothes.  I'd never known anyone who spent money so freely!

Adam pushed the envelope of life.  He drank too much, was rebellious at college and was continually bailed out by his parents when he got into trouble.  I didn't have to join him ... I could just live vicariously through him.  I wished I had the courage to be a bit more free to experience life as he did ... I was one of those nice girls that guys bring home to meet mama ... as a girl friend, maybe I was just a shade more on the straight and narrow.  I don't know if that was good or not but at that time, it was me.  I was curious and I walked on the edge...

Looking back, I definitely was a product of the rearing of the times.  I was afraid of making mistakes and guarded my real feelings carefully.  The 60's years were a time of free love, hippies, and if it feels good do it.  I read about those people and wondered how they could live that kind of lifestyle.  Now, I believe that I was a free-spirited woman at heart and should have allowed myself to experience more of all God had for me.  I wouldn't  have been a scarlet woman but I would  have had more vitality and energy.  I would have built more confidence in myself as I followed my creative bent and wouldn't have been so misled by smooth talking exciting gentlemen with ulterior motives!!  I'd have been my own person not what my parents wanted me to be or a boyfriend wanted me to be.

Love truly is a complicated four lettered word.  It can take on so many conotations from, "Oh, I love that lipstick" to "I love my husband with all my heart and soul."  I think until one experiences the love of Christ, love is so empty and void of meaning.  Would I die on the cross for someone that I am professing love for?  Love is not to be taken lightly.  For me to profess love, I am fully aware of my responsibility towards another person no matter who that person is.  Love is honoring and building up ... it means sacrifice and action.  It means standing up for another when it would be easier not to. 

There are so many books on love and why we do the things we do.  For so many years I didn't understand myself let alone someone else.  After examining my own life and the lives of my parents and grandparents, I understand more and have redefined myself.  I own my own thoughts now and accept responsibility for my actions and inactions.  For such a long time, it was hard and I flubbed up so many times.  By the grace of God and my family, I am and always will be a work in progress.  I cannot go back BUT I can move forward taking bigger bites of life and savorng them as I should have so many years ago.

I've read that God has a purpose and plan for everyone.  That He knows what we are going to do before we do it.  If that is so, I must relax and enjoy the ride now on out...  I've been a well-behaved woman that has walked just on the edge of the darker side of life.  Somehow, I think that my children and grandchildren will remember me because as I have matured, I have thrown more caution to the wind  to love and laugh openly.  I have spread my wings and tried new activities.  I may not be what my parents wanted me to be ... but then, again, I hope that they are looking down from Heaven and are proud of my heart and the perserverence instilled in me to work towards wellness.

I want to encourage you, my Readers, to spread your wings and live.  Too soon we rest and are but dust.  Love must be experienced with an open hand and lovers allowed to experience the fullness of life both separately and together.  I was held too tightly and my brain flooded with biased information during my growing up years.  As a mother, I wanted my children to be heard and their voices held in esteem.  I wanted them to learn to fall down and get up.  I bit my lip many a time, as they ventured out falling to my knees in prayer for their provision and protection.  Today they are fine adults raising fine children.  As a grandmother, I encourage my grandchildren to flap their wings and sing ... to celebrate who they are!  And, believe me, they do!!

God bless you and keep you safe as you go about your days ... enjoy each day to the fullest and rest in peace in slumber being refreshed to start again...

Let's chat again tomorrow, shall we?       









 





     

Friends

Good Morning, Readers!  Come on in and let's visit awhile.  I've poured myself a cup of coffee and headed for the back porch.  I love my time there ... I can read, study, and gaze upon my own little piece of Eden!  I laid each stone, planted each bush, flower, and tree ... it may not be the most beautiful garden in the world but it is mine created with my own hands.  I have enjoyed each moment of it's creation and growth from season to season!

Last Saturday, I received a card from a life long friend, Elaine.  I think I've read through the card a dozen or more times feasting on each word of encouragement and wisdom.  She ended the card with the statement, "...remember we are a team."  I had tears!

I have been most fortunate to have accumulated a select number of lifelong friends.  Their hearts are the same now as when they were young.  Remember, I had a set of the same friends, kindergarten through twelfth grade so we spent a good deal of time together.  Other times in my life I have had seasonal friends, those who have come into my life for a reason or number of years.  Each person has enriched my life immensely.

Nancy, Diane, Bob, Jackie

Strong social ties are a big part of happiness.  I have always needed someone in whom to confide ... to bounce my ideas off of ... to be my accountability partner that can tell me when I am way off base...  When my Aunt Helen passed away, I knew in my heart that I needed to make the trip back to my roots to connect with family and friends.  I was only to be there for a little more than a week; however, the accident of hitting a sand pile extended my visit a couple more.  It was in this time that I truly began to realize the deepness of my friendships and connection with family.

Over the years, I had added new friendships and found it difficult to make the cross country trip to connect with family and friends.  Slowly, time passed and our connections where there but more faint.  Each of us lived life separately but somehow our hearts stayed connected.

"Make new friends but keep the old.  One is silver, the other is gold."

A big part of friendship is taking the time to "show up" and make the effort.  With all of the new technology, it is easy to send emails and chat on Facebook but nothing can replace face to face interaction.  I have already committed to another visit to Minnesota for a visit with my gal pals late next Spring or early Summer.  I can hardly wait.  I have also made the commitment to myself to keep in touch and pick up the phone.

When I was younger, it was easy to make new friends ... my children were in school, sports, church and mothers banded together.  We had our children to talk about and our own set of issues with time constraints, husbands, and our own goals as individuals.  Now, it is more challenging.  As an introverted extrovert, I am cautious when entering new arenas.  Also because of my past history, I test the waters and if I am frightened, I pull back.  I have found that people who have been together a long time are less likely to welcome a newcomer.  As a teacher, I was full aware of the new ones or the ones who pulled back making sure that each person felt a part of the group.  As a hostess, I make sure that each guest is welcomed and pulled into activities.  Because of my past, I am more aware...  I have always believed that I can use the hurts of my heart to be a better person and friend.

Pam & Elaine's Masterpiece!

I am open to people and enjoy being around them.  I am deep and love below the surface conversations.  When in Minnesota, my friend, Pam, said, "Now can we get down to personal?"  I laughed and we all gathered around to REALLY talk ... to really share our thoughts as teenagers, young women, and now as seniors!  Now that's friendship at it's best!!

For many years, I have used the excuse of "I just am too busy."  Nawwww, that's not true, we always have time for those people and things that are important to us.  I have been convicted about my not attending church each Sunday.  It has become way too easy to turn on the boob tube and watch a sermon in my jammies.  I need the friendship of other believers and maybe some person may just need me.  I have way too many excuses all of which are just plain lame.  My son emailed me about a sermon he had heard at Prestonwood North ... he also confronted me about my church attendance.  Yes, I need the friendships of believers and those who can accept me as I am ... a little shy but for sure, a woman with a big heart.

Yes, having friends has meant different things at different times of life.  I look back and can smile fondly at the women who have loved me and mentored me over the years.  I am grateful for them ... for their friendship ... for the time they invested in me ... and, that they allowed me to give back to them my God-given gifts.  You see, friendships are two way streets and they take time to develop ... in our microwave society we want everything NOW!!  In reality, friendships are to be savored and developed one day at a time.

Today is the time to "take the time"

I declare this connect with a friend day.  My gal pals are getting together for a trip to the East Coast to see Fall foliage soon.  I will be with them in spirit and waiting to hear of the excitement of their travels!!  As for you, my Readers, always remember that you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!
(or as the Norwegians say, "Ya, you betcha!")

   

Discernment not Condemnation

I must have been very tired last night.  I turned on my computer and this blog came up.  I thought I had posted it...  Here you go ... blessings shot out to you for a great day!

Good Evening, Readers!  I hope that you had an absolutely wonderful weekend.  Mine was very low key ... no showings on the house, no special activities to attend ... an all around blah weekend.  I do better when I am feeding myself laughter and activity.  By this evening, I was feeling a little down and deflated...  Lo and behold, my daughter called giving me an update on the Blackjack Gymnastics Meet in Daytona, Florida.  Kat had done quite well ... I dug out my computer and looked at the photos she had posted.  Kat and her friend, Bianca, had done wonderfully!  My heart lifted and I felt a growing sense of happiness!  Grandmothers are funny that way ... they love those grandchildren so very much and are delighted no matter what they do!!

This morning, I watched a couple sermons on television ... one by Joel Osteen and the other by Dr. Charles Stanley.  Both were thought provoking and moved me.  When I listen to Joel, I am always uplifted and strengthened to move in a right direction whether it be mental, physical, or spiritual.  Dr. Stanley's sermon was on discernment ... my eyes and ears were glued to the screen ... I didn't want to miss a word.  I wish I'd had a notebook so I could have taken notes but I was afraid if I moved from my spot I would miss something.  I've heard many sermons on discernment but this was ultimately the best!!  I plan to listen to his sermon again (thanks to the Internet) and definitely WILL take notes this time!!

"Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path."

~~Psalm 119:105

I have been reading the Bible through each year for many many years.  Each time I am amazed at how much I learn and grow.  Everything I need to make decisions, is in this book.  Wisdom comes from the Word and the Word is God.  Reading and following the Ten Commandments is just a start.  I know, I know, I have friends who tell me that the Bible is just an outdated book of history but let me tell you, my biggest mistakes have come from NOT following the wisdom on the printed page.  Give Proverbs a go ... just one chapter a day ... and, think about the world, your own life and the lives of those around you.  See any similarities.  I'll wager a bet that you do!  We are not to condemn; however, we are to be discerning in our lives and relationships.  What do light and darkness have in common?  Absolutely nothing!!

"You are my refuge and my shield, your word is my only

source of hope."~~Psalm 119:114

Yes, my God IS my refuge and my shield.  It is only by His grace that I am alive and sane.  He accepted me as a sinful, broken woman and took me under his wing!  When I cowered in complete darkness he restored my soul and lifted me to new heights.  I could NOT do this on my own ... how do I know?  I tried.  Just like the addict craving a fix ... I craved kind words.  The problem was that in my weakness, I was prey for some pretty wicked people with dark hearts.  Jesus says we are to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves ... I needed to learn discernment!!  With each decision I made, I can look back and see how I tried to make my future different by making the same mistakes.  Stupid!  Just plan down right stupid!!

I have quite a few different Bibles.  They get pretty ragged after many years of reading and writing in the margins.  The Bible I grabbed today was one I bought for The Song of Solomon class at Grace Community Church in September 2000.  I keep it on the bed tray on my bed so that if I am led to look up a Bible verse, I have it handy.  My Bibles are like old friends ... we have a history together!

"Show me the path where I should walk, O Lord; point out the right road for me to follow.  Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me.  All day long my hope is in you."~~Psalm 25:4-5

Yesterday was my daughter Jane's birthday.  As usual, I like to call my children on the hour and minute they were born.  It is a reminder to me and to them that they were and are gifts that I cherish more than anything!!  I think a lot about them ... each of them ... and, I pray for their well being each day.  Until the day I die, I will be on my knees in my prayer closet praying for specifics in their lives.  As they have married, I  have also listed their spouses to my prayers.  As a mother hen, I want my family covered by God's protection and grace.  With each new generation, I have more prayer responsibilities!!

Tomorrow is the beginning of a new week.  Michael should get the results of his medical tests and hopefully his doctor will be able to ease his discomfort.  Depending on what he finds out, we may head on down to the little casa.  I wish I had flats of Fall flowers to take with me.  The itch to plant some flowers has gotten so bad that I can hardly contain myself.  This is the first year since we've lived in this house that I haven't been gardening up a storm with each new season.  I've planted so many perennials and they are doing well; however, just that pop of new color brightens my day.

I am thinking that a trip to the Dallas Arboretum would be in order within the next couple weeks.  I also drove past the Story Book Ranch in the McKinney/Frisco area and they are offering hay rides.  What could be more fun!  I think I just need to get out my calendar and make sure that I have something special lined up so I don't get the blah's next weekend.  Without joy and laughter, I tend to waste away.  Ever feel that way?  When the humdrum of everyday life gets really draining, it's time to soak up some sunshine and add a touch of living life!!

Until we chat again, I wish you blessings in the coming week.  Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

This little Pumpkin Man wishes you a great week!

 

What happens when the worse is more than better?

Wow!  What a gorgeous Fall day in North Texas.  My first instinct upon opening my eyes was to drag myself to the back porch and wake up with a muffin and coffee.  Somehow that first sip of warmth makes the day seem brighter!  When I was a little girl, my Grandmother Maggie would pour some coffee in a saucer, mix in a little sugar and milk and offer me a taste.  She was famous for her egg coffee bringing in guests from far and wide to imbibe in her special concoction!  When she was praised, she would cover her mouth with her hands and with a twinkle in her eye say, "It's nothing ... just coffee!"  She was such a humble lady ... one loved by so very many.

This morning I was reading the latest issue of Country Living.  I enjoy an eclectic mix in my nonprofessional status of interior decorator and could identify with editor Sarah Gray Miller's enjoyment of using one's home to convey a kind of lived-in warmth ... a way for others to take a peek into the world I live in.  I am a magazineaholic enjoying many different medias of communication of information.  I am always on the look out to add to my knowledge whether it be in making my home uniquely me or helping me to be a better person.  I am grateful for my eyes that are the gateway to my mind and soul.

My mind never stops going ... before I close my eyes and go to sleep I feast my thoughts on things that are honorable and good.  I have found that if I go to sleep on those not so pleasant thoughts, I have nightmares and wake up feeling like I'd been fighting all night long.  The key in my own life is to acknowledge reality yet focus on the good and moving forward.

For many years, I read every self-help book released and used that information to not only better my own life but the lives of others as well.  Being a matchmaker was a natural bent for me.  I was able to study human behavior listening to the life stories of both men and women.  I wrote a column for singles and did lay counseling as a relationship coach.  It was amazing to me even though people recognized their relationships in the past as ugly or, possibly, idyllic, they tended to gravitate back to what they had.  Familiar territory was comfortable.  I would write up an analysis and meet with my clients.  My position taught me how to deliver the assessment ... the good, the bad, the ugly.  People tend to overlook their own faults and blame others when it really is the self that needs to change.  That certainly was true in my own case.

Families have their own styles and we are most comfortable living within those constraints.  The chaos of the alcoholic family is often perceived as normal, being sarcastic perceived as "just how we relate to one another," and, in the case of the idyllic family, reality is skewed to match what the mind wishes it was.  In reality, our families carried forward the accolades and crimes from the past.  With each new generation, it is our responsibility to sift through the pages of life and move forward making our lives and the next generation healthier.

I have been criticized for being too honest ... for dragging skeletons out of the closet ... airing my family's dirty laundry ... the list goes on and on.  The healthier I have gotten, the more I realize how much it has cost me.  Yes, being healthy comes at a cost.  I was and am willing to pay the price.  I stand for truth, forgiveness, and reconciliation!

Think about it ... to become healthy physically means you must exercise and stay active.  To become educated you must study when you'd really want to play.  To become financially sound, you must forgo frivilous spending.  To be a Christian means getting out your Bible and reading then putting words into personal application.  To be of sound mind means examining the past and being willing to accept it, change what you can, and move forward in the removal of stinkin thinking.  It's tough work but you get out of life what you are willing to put into it!!

What happens when the worse in your life is more than the better?  First of all, look within yourself and do what it takes to become healthier in mind, body and soul.  With that being said, take a good look at your family of origin (what worked for them and what drove them apart?).  Dr. Phil wrote a book called SELF MATTERS.  It's a great book because yes, self does matter.  It is our responsibility to become whole as people and to inform those around of us what we are feeling and thinking.  Healthy relationships encourage open communication.  Listen to others and truly hear what they say.  Empathy ... empathy ... empathy.  Why would you want to hurt someone you love?  Why would someone who supposedly loved you want to hurt you?  You wouldn't and they shouldn't either.  How we treat others and how we allow them to treat us speaks louder than a thunderstorm!

The Madison Belle Media Group

Yesterday, I registered my dba The Madison Belle Media Group.  It was an easy process ... the next part is tougher.  The Madison Belle Media Group will carry the Hamilton Elf Series of children's books as well as anything else I would write.  It will take focus when my mind is rittled with fibro fog and I can't think of words to put on paper.  Stress will need to take a back seat to encouragement and being in a positive environment.  When I was in Florida last February/March, I was able to write two books.  There was wonderful chaos around me ... such fabulous energy!!  When I was in Minnesota this Summer, my head was filled with words that flowed.  Hmmm...note to self...

Speaking of Minnesota, while I was there, I looked at a wonderful house built at the turn of the century.  As I moved through the rooms, I could feel myself there writing and munching on huge chunks of life.  I tried to purchase the little house but the owners would not take a contingency of selling my home here.  I was sad because it was "my" thought that this little house was perfect for my needs and what I wanted to use it for.  When God put a period of "not now" on my own wish, I wondered what else He had in store for me.  Something better?  I still look to see if it has closed...

It is Friday ... my favorite day of the week.  I guess, since I am retired, every day should be Friday but I have reserved this as my jump day to the weekend.  It's time to get up from my cozy spot in the sunshine and ready myself to get my cleaning bucket of tools out!  One thing about having a house on the market, it never gets very dirty so cleaning takes but an hour or so...  I look out to my garden and wish I could plant some new Fall mums and perennials.  My fingers are itching to get dirty!!

You have a great day my friends!  Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!  My velcro buddy, Toby, and I are signing off!

YORKIPOO - It's not just a dog, it's an adventure!!

"But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom yu will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living.  But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."~~Joshua 24:15

 

       

The Self I See

And a top of the morning to you, Readers!!  I couldn't believe it when I woke up to temperatures of 67 degrees.  I grabbed my blanket and curled up on the settee on the back porch greeting the day quite serenely.  I don't know about you but I hate being jolted into a new day.  For so many years, I had deadlines to meet and places to go very early in the morning.  It's nice now to sit back and smell those proverbial roses.  This paragraph makes it sound like I am a couch potato doesn't it?  Quite the contrary, when I get going I really get going and am on a dead run all day!  I have new habits now and I like them.  Fall has arrived, and I love it!!!  You'll hear me say that over and over, I am sure!!

As I was sitting outside, I closed my eyes and thought, "What do I look like and who am I?"  Funny, sitting there I didn't feel any different than I did in my much younger years.  My spirit is young so it's difficult to look in the mirror and see an ever aging body ... my mind and reality aren't matching.  I am wiser now which has given me confidence and a strength I didn't know was possible.  I have been pruned, shaped, and refined each year from birth.  If you've ever grown grapes or roses, you know how painful pruning can be!!  As I have aged, I can see some of my relatives in me ... my Aunt Helen, Aunt Dewey, Mother, Father, Grandmother Maggie...  Funny how genes come in to play in our genetic makeup!

Dottie & Pastor George

Twelve years ago last Saturday, I was baptized in the pool in my back yard.  I rooted through the photo boxes and found the pictures of that afternoon.  What a party that was!!  There were nearly 100 friends there that day to help me celebrate.  It was a "big deal" to me because I had always been afraid of how I appeared to others.  Somehow, that day, I just didn't care ... I knew that I needed to do this to overcome one more hurdle in my life.  I was in a safe place surrounded by the Godly people who had nurtured me and had blessed my life.  Some said I radiated ... others said I looked more serene.  All I know is that something clicked inside me and I truly knew that I had grabbed on to hand of the man who had cared for me all the days of my life.  I had been baptized as a baby and had accepted Christ as my savior so why the adult baptism?  It was an adult decision ... a profession of my faith ... it was my way of saying, "It doesn't matter how defeated I feel ... it doesn't matter how others view me ... it doesn't matter where I am in life ... I am His."  I was branded by the Holy Spirit!!

I get concerned about the young women of today and their focus on outer beauty without concern for inner beauty.  Growing up, I don't remember going through the trials and tribulations of today's teen aged girl.  The pressure just wasn't there ... being in the "in crowd" didn't mean you were the most gorgeous ... it just meant you took on more leadership roles at school.  I fit in just about everywhere and do so to this day.  Being an introverted extrovert has opened doors for me as a leader and as a student of life.  I am "self," made up of many facets.

Michael's cousin Bill Tinsley is a writer and does a weekly blog.  He's written many books and has spoken of his faith to countless others.  I thoroughly enjoy his insight and his poetic way of relating to life.  I find myself reading his blogs and comparing myself to him.  Sometimes, I look down, shuffle my feet in the dirt, and wish I could write like Bill.  Then, something inside me says, "You don't write like Bill because you are not Bill ... you are you and you have your own audience ... your own stories to tell ... you write on a level that appeals to the everyday man and woman ... no fancy words, metaphors, just your heart dripping on to the pages of Miss Dottie's Blog."  That needs to be enough for me ... I just need to be the best writer than "I" can be.

Today, I am going over to the courthouse and getting my dba (actually, I am hoping that I can just use my old dba The Madison Belle Marketing Group).  I find that unless I set specific goals for myself that I can cross off, they just don't get done.  It's tough at 64 because the easy road is to just look backwards and forget about learning, growing, and moving forward.  Those old tapes I have from childhood and early adulthood still appear and I hear, "Play it safe, don't rock the boat, you won't be able to do what you want to do, you're not talented enough to move forward with your dreams."  What a battle goes on in my mind.  Jesus says to take every thought captive and for someone with a fractured past that's REALLY important.

How would I change my life?  I would live in a little cottage by the lake with a wonderful front wrap around porch ... I would have my children and grandchildren over every week to spend time with them, hug them, and tell them stories about the journey of life ... I would dance more and laugh more.  I would throw caution to the wind and greet each day with gusto.  Whatttt?  So what is holding me back?  Lake property has skyrocketed and my investment portfolio has had a big chunk eaten out of it (sell some books) ... some of my dreams don't coincide with what others want (keep bidding) ... Dance (put a tape on and get going) ... Laughter (enjoy the moment) ... Get up and go for "it" even when I don't feel like "it."  Sounds like all things are possible ... no excuses!!  

Did you watch The X Factor last night on TV?  I thoroughly enjoyed it ... I like the idea of not having age limits.  Wow!  What talent we have in this country.  Being a people person, I especially enjoy listening to the backgrounds of the contestants.  How about the guy who was sober and clean for 70 days?  Will be praying for that young man!  And, my goodness, how about the 40+ year old woman with two babies who had be worn down by an abusive partner?  She poured her spirit into her music and wowed an audience and I'll bet quite a few people at home.  The young pre-teen who opened the show was quite a spit-fire ... she wanted a home for her family of 6 who live in a 2 bedroom home...  She was amazing!  Lots of people sharing who they saw themselves as ... winners!!  It will be interesting to watch which one sabotage their success.

It's time for me to get moving ... I have made a pact with myself that I will prepare for the day and be ready for whatever comes!  Way to easy to sit around in my jammies then having to break a leg getting myself in gear when opportunity arises!!

My fibro fog has really been messing up my brain the past couple weeks.  It scares me because I think sometimes that I have on onset on Alzheimers.  My rheumatologist says no but it still bothers me.  So...if I repeat some things that are on my mind, please forgive me.  It keeps me humble and I am lucky that I am able to laugh at myself.

In closing, please bear with me ... close your eyes ... how do you see yourself?  Are you still young and vibrant or are you ragged from the woes of life?  If you get nothing else out of my blog today, please remember this ... you are who you are, a wonderful unique individual put on this earth for a purpose!  Share your life with someone else today, pick up a phone and make that call ... it is in loving others that we begin to truly love ourselves!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."~~Romans 15:13 (ESV)

Sadie says "Hold your head high and look up not down!"

Until tomorrow, my sweet Scottie Sadie and I wish you the best of September 22, 2011.  You are always loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!