I Believe

June 26, 2012

Come on outside with me and sit a spell.  I so enjoy the early morning hours when the only sounds are those of the birds chirping for their fresh seed and the soft whisper of the gentle breezes.  It's a time when my mind is clear and I am able to think creatively.  I would wager a guess and say that in the early morning hours I make my best decisions.

I believe ... yes I do!  As I prayed and read Psalm 139 this morning, (all of a sudden)  I looked to the heavens and out loud said, "I believe!"  I turned to UTube and looked up the song and as I listened, tears filled my eyes and I was overcome with emotion.  The song fit perfectly with what I was reading... 

Psalm 139 starts out -- "O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me."  My Father loves me enough to know me, really know me.  "You chart the path ahead of me."  I am being used for a purpose to further his kingdom.  My journey can be used to encourage others!  "This is too glorious, too wonderful to believe!  I can never be lost to your spirit."  Wherever I am, my Lord keeps me company and fills me with his love.  Even in loneliness, I am not alone!  "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body, and knit them together in my mother's womb.  Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex."  I've been told that I am a very complex person.  There are so many different facets to my personality and who I really am ... I can smile knowing that that's moi.  I am a precious flower worthy of a fine vase.  "You knew me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe."  My life has been Father-filtered and I believe I have purpose.  I was born into the right family and in my weakness, I was made strong.

Psalm 139 ends with this verse:  "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test my thoughts.  Point out any thing you find in me that makes you sad, and lea me along the path of everlasting life."  I meditated on this this morning and once again my eyes filled with tears.  I was so overcome with this overwhelming desire to really have the Lord ferret out anything that was not right.  I wanted to know what I was doing that didn't bring him glory.  I took my eyes off everyone else in my life and zeroed in on me ... my behavior, my words, my thoughts, what I was contributing to to make a difference.  As a childhood trauma survivor, I have to be so very careful and not give old tapes a toe hold in any area of my life.  I've been struggling in some areas and have found that playing Christian music helps to instill good thoughts into my psyche.  I laid on the bed a couple days ago listening to music and making every attempt to get every word sung.

Why do I believe?  I'm not sure I know the answer to that because I've believed from the time I was a small child.  I was drawn towards the light and I searched for God.  God says if we search for him, we will find him.  (Jeremiah 29:13)  I think that's been true of my walk.  There's just been something inside me that wants to follow Him.  I know (logically) that He died on the cross for my sins but more than that my faith takes that logic to another level bringing logic to my heart.

I walked among the shrubs and flowers of my gardens this morning humming I Believe.  Yes, for every drop of rain that falls a flower grows...  Every time I hear a newborn baby cry and see the sky, I know why I believe.  As I peered into the faces of my children and grandchildren, I was filled with this overwhelming sense of awe and love.  I knew there was a God and I knew that these were his gifts to me ... gifts so unique that like me, they were fearfully and wonderfully made.  How could I be so blessed?  God must have loved me a lot!!  First of all, he sent his son to die on the cross for me and for sinners everywhere that we might experience forgiveness, grace, and eternal life.  Secondly, why should I not go through trials of my own to be used to help others find their way in this dog eat dog world.

I am grateful for the tough times because those tough times shaped me into who I am today.   I noticed that I now have readers in South Africa.  South Africa?  Am I making a difference in people's lives?  I hope so ... All I know for sure is that the Lord's hand is on mine when I type.  Thoughts come to mind ... topics ... people ... I just figure someone out there needs to hear what I have to say.

God requires much of his people.  To be a Christian = actively living to serve others.  What are you doing today to let the light of the Lord shine through you?  Are you joyous, celebrating the life God has gifted you with?

I believe ... my faith carries me high into the heavens.  When I stay focused and keep my slate clean I do okay.  I know that I am on the right track when I can honestly say, "Not my will, but thine!"

It is swelteringly (hey, that's a new word!) hot here today.  Lupe and his crew are diligently working on the casita

I would invite you to pick up your Bible today and give Psalm 139 a read.  If you're struggling with your lot in life, I think it will make you feel better!

Until next time, remember you are loved and cared for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

PS  Michael's daughter and two children are coming for a visit tomorrow and will stay a few days.  Adventures ahead!!!