A Song of the Slandered

"O God of my praise, don't stand silent and aloof while the wicked slander me and tell their lies.  They have no reason to hate and fight me, yet they do!  I love them, but even while I am praying for them, they are trying to destroy me.  They return evil for good, and hatred for love."~~Psalm 109

June 20, 2012

Oh it's a good morning for being alive and making this world a better place.  I love getting up early when it is cool outside and beginning my day with a piping hot cup of coffee and the good book!  I just love how it pumps me up and gets me centered for the rest of the day.  Today I read and meditated on Psalms 107-110.  I was reminded once again that I have options and choices...

How do react under stressful circumstances?  Do you find yourself paralyzed ... peaceful ... productive ... minimizing ... angry?  In the Psalms, David found that with God's strength he could hold up rather than fold up.  That's the testimony of his life.  Have you ever been misunderstood to the point where people hurled rocks and abuses your way?  What did you do?  Throw those stones back at them?  Hide and cry?  Act in a sneaky passive aggressive way?  Maybe you shut down and chose to ignore the affront...

As I read through these Psalms, I thought about my own life and how I handled stress.  Thank God I could not only revisit the incidents and hurt but also see how I had matured over the years.  The way I handled stress in my early adult days wasn't healthy ... I chose to hide, to wield to the aggressor, and cry in a closet.  I took angry outbursts and lies directed at me as truth (even if they weren't) and allowed the darkness of the evil one to consume me.  Later, I went through a time of anger.  How dare someone accuse me of something I didn't do.  I reacted, defending myself ... I got angrier and angrier until it consumed me.  Finally ... yes, finally, I woke up and realized I had become the person that I hated.  Anger had consumed me, resentment was my middle name, and poison was my game.  Those years were dark years for me ... try as I would, I couldn't escape the muck and mire that had me trapped.

Oh, I guess you could say that it was caused by the trials in my life ... the deceit, the betrayal, the abuse ... but, in reality, I had to accept responsibility for who I had become and seek help.  It took me a long time to identify and learn to express myself in a healthy, non-combative way.  God gave me grace and put mentors in my life that I respected.  I wanted what they had.  I wanted me back.  I was willing to do whatever it took to eradicate the junk that I had allowed to pile up around my heart.  I had to shut up and listen ... I had to observe and grow ... I had to get into God's word and DO what it said.  There was no magical transformation overnight ... it took time, work, prayer, and forgiveness from family and friends.   The toughest part for me was to forgive me and to be okay when others chose not to forgive me.  My self-worth for such a long time depended on what others thought about me so it was quite a break-through when I could walk with my head held high.

Sometimes, I think about Saul who became Paul in the Bible.  He murdered Christians ... he was a bad egg ... a real criminal in very sense of the word.  What happened to Saul?  Jesus happened and a miracle occurred.  I think about David who committed adultery ... not only did he commit adultery, he had Bathsheba's husband put on the front lines of battle to be murdered.  What happened?  God happened and a miracle occurred.  Over and over in the Bible, God chose the fallen ... he chose men and women who were weak and made them strong.  If God could do that for them, could he (?), would he (?) do that for me.  He not only could, He did and my life has become a living testimony.

I love touching people's lives and encouraging them.  I want them to know that if I could become victorious they can too!!  I didn't get there by pretending that the past didn't exist; I didn't sugar coat my childhood or what happened to me as an adult.  I began walking in the light holding a flashlight to shine in the dark corners.  If it was real, true, and accurate, I accepted "it" and dealt with "it."  I used a magnifying glass to look deep inside me and wanted to know why I behaved as I did.  I wanted to know; I needed to know.  I fought for the right to know.  I ruffled feathers and asked the tough questions.  I examined my family of origin and wanted to know what made them tick.  It was in understanding that I began to forgive and move forward ... closing the gaps of the wounds.  I have chosen NOT TO FORGET; I have chosen TO FORGIVE, and LET GO.  Freedom ... the price of freedom was high ... maybe because the cost was high, I value freedom so much and guard it carefully!!!!



I am excited ... I have the opportunity to make a difference in someone's life today.  (Maybe it's my husband -- he says he needs a haircut!! he he)  I've begun to realize that I also need to make a difference in my own life remembering that I am worthy.  Yes, I am ... and, you are too!

Wherever you are on your pathway of life ... whatever you are facing, I wish you goodness and joy ... I wish you peace and understanding ... I wish you love...

Miss Dottie