I wear my battle scars proudly!

June 5, 2012


Where did the day go?  I dragged my weary bones out of bed this morning hoping that my energy would catch up with my will power.  Luckily, that first cup of coffee put some pep in my step and I've been enjoying my day.


I have decided to do forty days of prayer for my family.  I have been besieged with dreams, visions, and Bible verses that let me know that Satan is on the prowl.  Being a Mama Bear, I am not keen on just laying down and crying "Uncle."  It's time for me to put on the full armor of God and do battle with the dark side laying claim to my husband, children, and grandchildren.  I am not afraid ... I know that I am being covered in prayer as I move forward.  On the flip side, I also know that the Lord has been at work as well bringing blessings.  Just as important as petitions for keeping the evil one at bay are the praises for the abundance that has poured out upon my family.


Most of you, my Readers, know that I am on Facebook.  One of my Facebook friends, Brandon, posted this today:  From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says, "I have survived."  Brandon and my son have been friends since they were little bitty guys.  I love this kid (everyone younger than me is a kid!) and I know he's been going through trials of his own.  I appreciate his willingness to be open...

Yes, Brandon, from every wound there is a scar.  The scar may be faint but it's still there.  Healing, wound creams, and time can fade the worst of scars but should the bearer touch them, memories and stories can flood back like the wound was fresh. If I stand naked before a full length mirror, my body looks like a road map. Remember when the gall bladder had to come out?  How about that unplanned tubal that made you unable to have more children?  Thyroidectomy, six foot surgeries, five back surgeries, hernia repair and on and on...  Then there's the emotional scars not visible to the naked eye but there just the same ... childhood trauma, divorce, physical abuse, emotional abuse.  I cringe!  I cry, remembering!  Then, I step back and lift my head high ... I am a survivor, a woman of courage!  I've been on the front lines in living life.  I haven't shied away from stepping up to the plate and striking out ... over and over til I get it right!  One thing's for sure, I haven't quit ... I haven't given up ... I haven't quit smiling!!  Hey, I am unique!!

I have had to start over here in Central Texas.  It was tough saying good-bye to friends, family, and my home in North Texas.  When, the truck was unloaded, I stood in the back yard of the little casa ... "Lord, all I have is this ugly patch of dirt ... all I have is a vision ... all I have is you!"  As I moved from the back yard to the house, I was reminded of the journey I've been on in my sixty-five years.  I was reminded that with each move, I survived.  And, not only did I survive, I thrived!  Wherever I've gone, I've left my mark!!

My Lord looked at my weaknesses and said, "That's okay, I will give you strength."  He looked at my scars, my physical imperfections, and told me that He would make my heart beautiful and that my light would shine throughout the earth.  My Lord doesn't lie and I rest in knowing that He would use my scars to draw others to Him.


Today, I called up my friend Beverly and asked if she wanted to go shopping.  We headed for Dress Barn and, as usual, the clerks, labeled our dressing rooms ... one for Beverly, one for Dottie.  We rummaged through the store finding piles of shirts, blouses, shorts, skirts, dresses, etc. to be tried on.  With each outfit tried on, we yelled to one another ... "Come out a minute and tell me what you think."  Beverly is tall and has a willowy figure ... good grief (!), she always looks good in whatever she tries on.  Disgusting!  The good news was that since I had had the flu, I had lost some weight.  I still wished the mirrors in the dressing room weren't so revealing BUT I was happy just getting back into a Petite 10.  You might say, "A Petite 10, that's wonderful!"  Well, I am only a hair over five feet tall with a slight build ... Let's just put it this way, a size 8 is doable and I'll feel less like a stuffed pepper in my clothes.  Scars from yesteryear?  Ya, they're there ... reminders that I am alive and kicking!!  Reminders that I am victorious!! The scars of the past are but faint memories replaced with words of affirmation, love, and kindnesses.

My newest scar came from a bite from Sadie.  There are days that it aches and I know it's still healing.  Sadie is a gentle creature and wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose but she did.  My recovery has been another reminder that even gentle souls wound us and cause deep pain.  It's been my choice to forgive and move on allowing healing to work from the inside outward.  For me, I am able to let go and allow God to do his work.

Maybe you have some scars and maybe you're one of the lucky ones whose body is smooth and supple despite years of living.  Either way, remember that you are beautiful!!  Let your light shine ... give out one of those big whoops of thanksgiving knowing you have been given the gift of life one day at a time!!  Here's some flowers from my garden ... Enjoy!

Miss Dottie