A couple nights ago, I stayed up all night to watch the mini series, the Tudors. My mother's side of the family goes way back to England and having been to London, my curiosity got the best of me. You can see (in the photo) a letter written in red ink (circa 1950's) to my Aunt Laura from her cousin, Mary Esther then passed on to my mother. There has been a lot of work done tracing our ancestry. It is much easier now with the Internet so I appreciate the hard work done by so many before me.
In the letter, it was stated that my mother's side of the family was heir to the following: King Louis IV; Julia (sister of Julius Caesar); Mark Anthony; King Cole of Northern Britain; Charlemagne; Alfred the Great; King Edward III of England; Edward IV of France (last Holy Roman Emperor); Geoffrey (father of Henry II)... The list is impressive but who were these people and what were their lives like? Esther concludes her letter with the following statement: "My mother says your Aunt Grace frequently mentioned 'your heritage' and your brother wondered what it was ...the other day I told mother that it no doubt was John Billington who came on the Mayflower ... because he shot his neighbor ... and was the first man to be hanged on American soil." I looked up the name John Billington on the Internet and sure enough, the story was true!
My mother's ancestors came to America when our land was first being settled. I did some reading about England at that time and there was so much turmoil ... men were bound to one another by treaties and punishment cruel and inhumane. It was a time when Martin Luther was making noises in Germany and people were being burned at the stake for their beliefs. I think that I would have sought solace somewhere else if I lived in that time!
My great grandfather taught the indians how to farm in central Minnesota. My Great Aunt Grace was an accomplished writer. My family served in the Revolutionary War and the Civil War ... they were a scrappy sort and loved a good fight! Yet, there are a few people that my mother talked about as being soft and gentle souls. I have read Aunt Grace's book, THE WADSWORTH TRAIL, which holds so much history about the family. The stories told make me proud to be a descendant of these trailblazers.
The family I remember is my mother's immediate family and two of her uncles (Ern and Blanche). They were people that I spent a good deal of time with ... my cousins were all such fun and we shared years of good times! My mother spoke of her childhood as one fraught with anger ... she was the scapegoat and took the brunt of many a cruel outburst whether it was from her father or her brothers. My grandmother Belle was so aloof, it was hard for me to tell what she was about. My mother loved her mother, yet, they really weren't like mother and daughter - my mother said that her mother never protected her from the cruelty inflicted upon her. Hmmmm...for those of you who have read my blogs from last year will notice something familiar! I never remember my grandmother ever holding me or talking to me except for "come to eat" ... she lived on a farm, always wore a bonnet and an apron and high black tennis shoes when she tended her chickens. The male adults in the household swore like sailors and were crude...in their youth, they were robust, adventurous and handsome. One of my uncle's was demeaning and downright cruel. Another uncle, was strange in a way that the family knew about but it was never addressed. I just knew to stay away from him because he did bad things if you sat on his lap. Rather than risking the wrath of certain family members, it was just best to keep quiet... Maybe this is the way generational curses travel ... because no one says anything, the sins of the fathers (and/or mothers) move on. Oh, you can say, "I'll never do that, my life will be different." But then, all of a sudden you are becoming exactly the way you said you wouldn't. Ever said to yourself, "Oh my God, I am becoming my mother (or father)!"? Funny how that happens.
Have you ever looked at your family tree and seen a common thread of incest; sexual, physical and/or emotional abuse; adultery; alcoholism; a certain kind of illness; down and out failure...? Those are generational curses and are to be dealt with if they are to be stopped. You see, whatever we sow, we reap. We must speak death to the crops of sin and life to the crops sown with love. In my journey of life, I have attended several conferences on generational curses and to move beyond them is not for the faint of heart but for the lionhearted. Does it mean you stop loving your family and the families before them? Absolutely not! God tells us we must hate the sin and love the sinner. It is a battle to embrace the truth. I have found that I have needed to make an aggressive and constant effort to take every action and thought captive ... to dissect them, decide whether or not to keep them then move on. Consciously, I have taken the best from my parents and their families to make a new "me."
I received notes from both of my children in the past couple days and my tears were that of joy. In so many ways, the three of us have grown up together. We've stumbled and fallen and then gotten up over and over. We've kept on moving forward even when life was unfair and painful. We've made horrible mistakes and grown from them. They understand completely what our generational curses have been and are and have been willing to go to battle for what is right. We are not straight-laced prudes ... we are joyful, happy individuals loving each other through thick and thin. We've learned to be transparent with one another and know that there is a love that will never go away no matter what. In turn, my grandchildren are all smart, fighters for the common good, and gentle of spirit. They all know ... we are FAMILY!!
"Hear O Lord, and be merciful to me; O Lord be my help. You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever."~~Psalm 30:10-12
Always remember that you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!! Funny, in a stroke of a moment I felt my Grandmother Maggie, laugh and say, "Ya, you betcha!" Nite all! Here's your bedtime lullaby!
It is fascinating to read about our history. I agree with you--choose to focus on the good and positive, yet be frightfully aware of the sins.
ReplyDeleteSomewhere along the line your mother was taught that her voice didn't matter. I feel blessed that I was loved and cherished as a child. Thank you for that!
I'm glad you are researching and reading others' research about our family. It is something I have wondered about, yet haven't had the time to commit, so it is appreciated. Keep it coming!