Perfect in an imperfect world?

May 6, 2012

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we were perfect people living in a perfect world.  I hate to burst your bubble but that's never going to happen.  Relax and enjoy the ride.  You'll feel a lot better and so will the people around you!!

Lupe and his crew worked six long days on the casita last week.  By late Saturday afternoon, the plumber was upset, the electrician was upset, the crew was grumbling, and Lupe had a long face.  It was time to stop, enjoy Cinco De Mayo, and take a much needed break.

If you have lived in an old house or tried to repurpose an old building, you know what a pain it can be to make something perfect that is a far fetch from being even close to perfect.  The family who built the little casa and the garage wasn't too concerned about the foundation or the fact that everything should (at least in the beginning) start out level.  We had the little casa leveled as much as it could be and have learned to laugh at it's little idiosyncrasies; i.e., the slant from the dining room to the kitchen.

When Lupe took on the job of repurposing the garage into a casita aka woman cave, I don't think he realized how much the garage was built on a slant.  Without tearing down the entire structure, it's just not going to ever be perfectly level from front to back.  Lupe wants his work to be perfect, the electrician wants his work to be perfect, and the plumber wants his work to be perfect.  No one wanted to admit (except me) that they needed to stress less and come up with more out of the box solutions.  After the crew left, I sat out in the casita assessing the situation.  I think I've come up with a solution that will solve every one's problem.  It's all about perception (and putting in a step from the closet to the bathroom, and a step from the bathroom to the main room.  It'll be perfect in my eyes!!

Lupe read the scriptures I wrote on the walls and he feels that he is building this little casita to be used for God's purposes.  As a Christian, he wants to give the Lord his best effort.  He was feeling that he was letting me down and the Lord down as building came to a halt late Saturday afternoon.  I told him to take a well deserved break and not think about the casita until Monday morning.  I think he will be pleased when I present my solution.

I am, and always will be, a recovering perfectionist ... I do things over and over trying each time to bring my project into the confines of perfection.  Michael shakes his head telling me, "Dottie, it's good enough."  That really moves me into fast forward.  Through the transforming of my mind, I had to realize that my work needs to be the best I can do but it will never be perfect.  Augh ... to a perfectionist, that's just not an option.  What did I do to slow down my perfectionism?  I began to leave part of my project imperfect on purpose.  I would clean a room and leave a drawer a little open.  I would always leave something a little off.  My blogs reflect the way I talk and aren't written to get an A in an English essay.  It's been good for me to live in an old house because no matter what, it's not going to be perfect.  I've had to fall in love with it's uniqueness ... it's imperfections.

I love interior design and have always been drawn to the Ralph Lauren look.  I started reading magazines about country living, repurposing old structures, and realized that homes are beautiful when they have character.  I had to start learning to love primitive design before I could come to a centering of cottage design.  When I decided to take on the project of the casita, I had to keep in mind what I had to work with (a toothpick budget and a dilapidated garage).  I love challenges though and this has kept my creative juices flowing.

I'm sorry to say that I thought people needed to be perfect not flawed.  Because I grew up thinking that I was flawed and worthless, my life was one of always striving to be the best ... the best wife, the best mother, the best friend, the best Christian, the best cook, the best hostess, etc.  There was never a time that I could sit back, relax, and enjoy my progress.  I was always moving forward.  Sadly enough, the people around me needed to be perfect too.  If they weren't, I painted a picture of them that was perfect and it was that picture that I presented to others.  Sad wasn't it...  As God loved me to wholeness, I began to let go and accept not only myself as imperfect but others as well.  It was okay to struggle and be real.  It was okay to admit there was an elephant in the room and that it was stinking up the place.  The more I worked on myself, the more I could accept the imperfectness of others knowing that as humans they were sometimes going to hurt me.  Some relationships are more perfect than others and down deep inside I began to establish boundaries -- first for myself.  I learned that it was okay to protect myself and know that I had a voice.  I am drawn to imperfect people striving to be better each day ... REAL folks who have stories to tell who can embrace life and it's ups and downs.

Some months ago, I went to an art show at my grandsons' school.  They proudly escorted me into the show room and led me to their masterpieces.  I looked at the pictures first from a distance then up close.  I just knew that those pictures needed to be kept as a reminder of their artistic abilities.  I felt so proud.  Proud of what they had created.  Don't you suppose God is like that??  With each masterpiece we create, He looks at the imperfections and yet doesn't even see them.  He sees us as whole and wonderful ... His own works in progress!  With each stumble, He picks us up and encourages us to keep on going.  With each milestone reached, He gives us a high-five and says, "That's my child!"  He disciplines us when we do something stupid but He never stops loving us.  His ways aren't our ways.  He doesn't hold grudges and push us away when we are sorry.  His arms are open and He loved us enough to send His only son to die for us.  Pretty awesome, huh??

Tomorrow is another day ...  For right now, I am enjoying this day, this moment in time.  I have a banana bread baking in the oven that smells absolutely wonderful.  Some time ago, I wouldn't think of using one of those mixes -- it would have needed to be made of over ripe bananas, buttermilk, eggs, flour...  I would have spent a whole lot of time, mixing and making sure it was just perfect.  (Smile)  These days, I am grateful for mixes that (if I tweak them a little) taste just as good and take less time to make.  I don't have to be Betty Crocker or Paula Deen (the just add a little more buttah gal) ... I can enjoy the oohs and ahhs of my husband as he munches on fresh  banana bread ala Miss Dottie!

Do me a favor...  If you're a perfectionist, do your best then take some time to enjoy the day before stressing to the max.  In the grand scheme of things,   work comes and goes, just cleaned houses get dirty again, and meals from scratch (??) -- well, let's just leave it at that.

Smile and the world smiles with you.  Give yourself a break when you can't quite get it perfect ... and, cut others the same slack you give yourself!!

Until next time, it's Miss Dottie signing off.  Always remember you are loved and prayed for...ya you!!

PS: Sadie was being a less than perfect
Scottie today & got a time out!!
Too funny!!!