Every Picture Tells A Story

Winter flowers brighten my day!

January 31, 2013

And a chilly good morning to you my Readers!  I know to those of you in the northern parts of the country 34 degrees is a heat wave in January; here in Central Texas it is bone chilling cold.  We have a north wind blowing which doesn't help either.  Bring on my extra warm sweaters today!  Sadie is outside loving every moment of the coolness.  Now Toby?  He's laying in front of the fire!  It's a good day for bloggin' and sharing my thoughts.

This is the day the Lord has made ... I will rejoice and be glad in it!

Cousin Jim

Yesterday, my cousin,  Jim, commented on a post I had put on Facebook about my fall and injuries:  "Hey cuz - I am thinking we should outfit you with a football helmet, secure and inflated inner tube around you so the next time you fall you will bounce back.  Get well sooooon."  I visualized me walking around with that football helmet and inner tube on and really got a giggle out of that.  I am glad that my family has a great sense of humor!!

I'm not sure if I've shared this with you before ... if I have that's okay, it bears repeating.  Some years ago, I felt really lost.  I didn't know who I really was.  I knew what others said I was and what I SHOULD be doing but I needed to find me.  I took a large piece of poster board, some magazines, newspapers, and photos and began to put together "me."  If something appealed to me, I cut it out and placed it on my board.  If an emotion jumped out at me on a headline, I cut that out too.  I was very pleased with my creation.  There I was in living color (well, some black and white too!).  MOI!!  I realized what was really important to me and decided to put more effort into those areas.  I also identified my "style." Every picture, every word told a story.  I really liked me...  At the top of my board was the Bible verse:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

~~ Psalm 139:14

Sample Board

Being a creative person, my board was filled with artsyness (is that a new word I just made up?) and fun.  It also showed my serious side and my deep love for my fellowman and, oh yes, animals.  My faith was strong and my willingness to persevere in times of darkness was quite obvious.

I've used my identity board idea in classes I have taught.  It's surprising how many people don't know who they are and what they want out of life.  They are willing to go with the flow and follow the crowd.  Oh gosh, so much time is wasted being someone you are not.  I think it's good for children to try this as well as men and women.  It's amazing what you will find out about yourself.

A sultry Miss Dottie
 as Dr. Romance

God doesn't make junk and He's created each of us for a purpose.  All we need to do is listen to him.  If God is "in it" and "for it," you will be successful.  I know there have been seasons in my life when I have done different things.  I was an administrative manager for years then all of a sudden I was drawn to doing something different and fun.  I saw an ad in the Dallas Morning News for a Membership Advisor at a dating service.  I picked up the phone and made the call.  Know why I got the job?  Because I  had Stephens Ministry training.  No lie ... the president of the company knew all about this ministry and he believed that I would be a good fit.  I knew nothing about this business but it turned out to be the job that I have most enjoyed in everything I have done.  God led me to it, He equipped me, and He blessed my efforts.

What are you doing this fine Winter day.  Feelin' bored?  Wondering what you would like to do with the rest of your life?  How about giving my board idea a go,,,  Every picture tells a story!!

Since I have a torn rotator cuff, my activities are curtailed by "do nots" ... don't lift, don't push, don't pull.  Good grief!  I need to find some can do's and that just might be another board, a walk this afternoon, and, of course, publishing another blog.  I am set to publish a book of my blogs for 2012 so that should be fun to get started on.

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

PS  "What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly. ~~Richard Bach

Miss Dottie says, "Sometimes we just need to percolate in a cocoon for awhile while we get beautified!!"  

Song of the South

Remnants of the Old South

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

It's a chilly Winter day in Central Texas.  The sun is out but the wind is blowing like crazy making the crisp morning air seem colder than it really is.

My neighbor brought me the old movie, Song of the South.  Modern day technology is wonderful.  Since I was in the cottage, I put it in my computer and watched it as I vegged on the couch.

If you're not familiar with the movie, Song of the South is a 1946 American musical film produced by Walt Disney.  The film is based on the Uncle Remus stories by Joel Chandler Harris.  The actors provide a sentimental story in which Uncle Remus relates the folk tales of the adventures of Brier Rabbit and his friends.  The hit song from the film was "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" which won the 1947 Academy Award for Best Song.  Did you know that this film inspired the Disney theme park attraction Splash Mountain?

I was surprised to know that this film has never been released in it's entirety on home video in the United States because Disney executives thought it might be viewed by some as politically incorrect and racist towards black people.  At any rate, I would highly recommend the film for children as well as adults.

Uncle Remus used tales to get his point across to children and adults.  I laughed and cried and, for a moment, became a child again rewatching a movie I had seen as a youngster.  No wonder I love Negro Spirituals so much ... they were a part of their culture passed on to us.  Such soulful beauty!

Over seventeen years ago now, I ministered to a young woman who was pregnant.  Her baby was half black, half white.  I was there when this child was born and as I gazed upon Baleigh's face I felt a love I hadn't felt before.  It was a love that transcended logic.  My time with this young woman and her child (who she gave up for adoption) changed my life dramatically.  I hate to say it but my family of origin was pretty prejudiced.  As a child I didn't understand that because there weren't any blacks around.  As an adult, I came to love all races and appreciate their cultures.

I have a deep love for the South and it's culture and people.  I can't explain it but I feel the love and compassion of these natives.  My son was born here as was my two grandsons.  I laugh 'cause I think that when someone is born here they must inject them with something that says you are Texan through and through!

God says we are to be as little children ... little children are blind to the color of one's skin.  As in the Song of the South, little Johnny finds a best friend in Uncle Remus and a little girl by the name of Ginny.  He is drawn to those with good hearts and well intentions.  Isn't this the way we all should be?

"Then he said, I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven."  ~~Matthew 18:3

Miss Dottie

PS  To quote Uncle Remus:  "It happum on one ah dem Zip-A-Dee-Doo Dah Days.  Now dat's the kinda day whre you can't oppem yo mouf widout a song jumpin right out of it!"  Enjoy your day in the Uncle Remus spirit!!

The Lives We Touch

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

It's been a rainy day blues kind of day.  It's late and I am weary and tired.  Yet, I feel the need to connect with you, my Readers.

The series of MRI's I had last week solidified my suspicions that something was dreadfully wrong with my neck and shoulder.  I met with Dr. B this morning and as he read the reports to me I felt that deer in the headlights feeling coming on.  If you've dealt with doctor consults, you know what I'm talking about.  I wanted to slap him upside the head and say, "Speak English!!"  He finalized his spiel by saying that my symptoms were caused by damage to the C 4-5 AND I have a partially torn rotatory cuff.  I understood that.  Lovely...

Dr. B's sending me back to see Dr. C who did my previous neck and back surgeries.  They didn't have an opening until February 22 but I am hoping to get in before that.  He is also sending me to a shoulder specialist in Arlington.  My personality lends towards ... if something needs to be done, DO IT, and let me get on with life.  Patience is not one of my strong suits.

Mom ~ Christmas 2012

Enough on that subject ... Michael and I had the honor of assisting the funeral home in the writing of Mom's obituary.  That little task really got me thinking about what my family would write about me when I passed.  Would my life have been pretty self-centered or would I have left a legacy of substance.

Something happened today that caused me to cry like a baby.  In 2002, I spent 30 days in a shelter.  While I was there, my roommate was a young teacher who had fled New York with her small daughter to start a new life.  One day she was crying.  She was out of money and needed to go the Fort Worth for a job interview.  (She was a teacher)  I felt her pain and opened my wallet.  I gave her $50 (every penny I had to my name at the time).  The amazing part (besides the fact that she got the job) was that for the next several months as I established a new life of my own, I would receive cash or checks ~~ all for $50.  

Since then, every now and then, I receive a card or letter ... you guessed it ... $50 inside.  Today, I was feeling pretty sad about my fall and the ramifications and here comes a card with a lovely note AND $50.  It wasn't about the money inside.  It was about the words, "You will never be forgotten."  God is so good!  The $50 reminded me that the seeds I have planted are growing in different people's lives.

The family that prays
together stays together!

I had one of those marathon phone calls with my daughter, Jane tonight.  She told me about her job and how she felt she was impacting lives as a pharmacist.  (Her seeds are bursting out all over!!!)  We talked about her relationship with her husband ~~ she gave him ten stars!!  (Her seeds are bursting out all over!!!)  We talked about her struggles as a mom ~~the same struggles I had as a mom.  It was like listening to myself years ago.  My daughter now can understand me more because she is walking my path.  (her seeds and mine are bursting out all over!!!)  When I hung up, I thanked God for allowing me to have a glimpse of my own obituary and my daughter's.

What would people write about you if you passed on?  Isn't it time to stand for something and not be afraid of what others think?  Isn't it time to plant seeds of your own?  I have witnessed the seeds I planted in my children (integrity, honesty, good work ethics, love of others, empathy, Jesus) growing and flourishing.  The seeds that I planted have moved to my children's generation and now on to their children.  The seeds that I have planted have moved across the globe.

I'm sorry if some of you think I am bragging.  Really, I am not.  I give God the glory because without him I wouldn't have survived childhood and beyond.  Without him I would be a bitter, condescending woman.  Without Him I wouldn't be writing this blog.  Without Him, I hate to think of where I would be.  Every day I ask Him to use me -- to allow his light to shine to others through me whatever I do or say.

As I close my eyes, I say a prayer:  "Now I lay me down to sleep..."  Thanks, mom, for planting that seed in me as a child. 

Always know you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!

Miss Dottie

PS  I have printed out the Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi and have it in my Bible.  It is part of my daily routine to read this.  Maybe it will help you too.  Read it out loud and feel the words returning to your heart!!  I don't know about you but I don't want to just take up space on earth...   

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury,pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

to be consoled as to console;

to be understood as to understand;

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

Pucker Up for Valentine's Day

Daughter Jane & Husband Tim

January 27, 2013

Pucker up!  It's soon Valentine's Day and you'll want your lips to be in good shape for blowing kisses and smooching!!

Since I met my friend, Beverly, she has introduced me to all kinds of home-made remedies for this and that.  Last night I shared my recipe for bath salts and today, you're in for another treat ~~ Crystal Light Lip Gloss!

Crystal Light Lip Gloss

Vaseline or Un-Petroleum Jelly

Crystal Light (I used Cherry Pomegranate)

A small container

A Mixing Tool (I used a plastic knife)

It's so easy ~~ fill the empty small container with your Vaseline or Un-Petroleum Jelly.  Add the Crystal Light.  Keep adding and stirring til you get your desired color.  If you put it on right away, it will be exfoliating.  Wait an hour and the granules will dissolve.  Pucker up (!) and find that special someone to try it on.  Hubby tells me my lips were deliciously kissable!!

Miss Dottie 65th Birthday

You know, as God's gals, it's important for us to feel good from the inside out. I've never been one to wear much make-up or fuss about my hair or clothes.  Anything that takes over 5 minutes is 3 minutes too long for me to bother with.  HOWEVER, now that the wrinkles have started to gather and my hair has turned to a lovely gray mix, I find that when I look in the mirror, I want to turn back that clock a little and fuss a bit more about what I wear, how I style my hair, and am even enjoying trying different kinds of make-up.

Gray hair is a crown of glory;

it is gained in a righteous life.

~~Proverbs 16:31

I knew a woman a few years ago who had never cut her hair and wore no make-up.  She told me that it was in the Bible and she didn't want to anger our Lord God.  Welllll, I had to check that out.  I couldn't find anywhere that specifically said we are not to cut our hair or wear make-up.  In fact, I took a class on the Song of Solomon and found that God is in favor of us looking our best for our husbands (and for ourselves).

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

~~Proverbs 31:30

What the Lord hates is a woman so obsessed with her appearance that she uses it to determine her self worth and to entice others with her charms.  Oh, golly, I've known a few of those in my life time.  The problem is, we all grow older and, at some point, we need to admit that we are ... (ahem) seniors!!

Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a

beautiful woman who shows no discretion.

~~Proverbs 11:22

My grandchildren see me as Grandma.  They don't care whether I am dressed to the nines or if my face is wrinkle free.  What they care about is that I love them and have a good heart.  My husband loves me ... period.  I must admit though that he does enjoy it when I try new types of clothes, make-up, and wear a big grin.  My children laugh because I hate all sorts of grandma looking clothes and shoes.  If I like something I buy it.  Shoot, I can wear it in the backyard where no one sees me.  LOL!

Michael & Miss Dottie
being silly on her 66th birthday!

Sixty-six ... where did the years go?  What was so very important at 20 - 30 - 40, and even 50, seems so trite now.  Michael and I spent my 66th birthday in Clifton, Texas.  We were being silly and a lady asked if she could take our photo.  Laughter is infectious!!  If I wake up and my bones don't hurt and my attitude is positive, I celebrate!!  There is something that I have noticed big time ~~ when my spirit is soaring, I look and feel like I've had a big drink from the fountain of youth!!  

Granddaughter Kat & Miss Dottie
wish you a smooching good day

Go enjoy your day ... maybe you can mix up a batch of lip gloss and have some fun trying it out!!

Miss Dottie

PS  "I am no bird; and no net ensnares me:  I am a free human being with an independent will." ~~ Charlotte Bronte

  

The dark of night & bath salts??

Saturday, January 26, 2013

The north wind doth blow and the pathway to the cottage was dimly lit tonight.  I  pulled my jacket around me and looked up into the sky.  Felt kind of eerie ~~ I could hear the squirrels rustling in the tree above the cottage and the sound of the hooting owl made me scurry faster than normal.  The pain from my fall has been especially nasty today and I thought I would read awhile.  Instead, I picked up my computer and decided to chat awhile with you, my Readers!

Sadie is snoring up a storm.  She makes me smile.  Her body feels hot against my feet and I am grateful for another day with her.  We watched some Scottie puppies on Inside Edition and would welcome another Scottie baby to our family in a minute.  All their stubbornness and streaks of independence makes them a challenge and a joy!  Every now and then she perks her ears up at the sound of pitter patter on the roof.  I remind her that we are safe in the stillness of the night.

The late evening hours I spend in the cottage are so sweet and filled with gratitude.  It is then that my prayers take on a deepness and my outlook is one of expectant joy as I process my day and look forward to tomorrow.  Going to bed mad or extremely sad gives way to rotisserie sleeping and fretful dreams.  On those occasions, I wake up feeling like I have struggled with the devil.  Come to think of it, maybe I had!  The good news is that for quite a few years now, most nights I have been serenaded by beautiful songs as I sleep.  My faith and my trust are in my Lord and He has not abandoned me.

Maybe some of you are reading my blog before bedtime.  I hope that I offer words of serenity and encouragement soothing out those bumps in the day that can fester into roadblocks to happiness in your tomorrows.  I promise you, God is good and He is faithful to those who love him.

"By day the LORD directs his love,

at night his song is with me ~~

a prayer to the God of my life."

~~Psalm 42:8

Always remember you are loved and prayed for.  As my blogs cover the globe, I am grateful to share my life with you as well as my love of a Savior who has redeemed me from a life of shame carrying me into a life of victory and hope.

Miss Dottie

PS  I do want to share this with you.  My friend made me some bath salts.  Before turning in. I decided to forgo my usual bubble bath and give them a try.  As the tub filled, the scented water turned a lovely aqua color and was so soft to the touch.  I missed my mounds of bubbles but my aching muscles were quieted and my soul refreshed.  (Maybe the soft music and candles helped too!)  In case you might want to make some to try yourself (or give as a gift), here's the recipe.

Bath Salts

1 Cup Epsom Salts

1/2 cup kosher salt

1 quart size, freezer-grade re-sealable plastic bag

Food Coloring

Essential oils

Baking Sheet

Wax Paper

Funnel

Mason Jar for storage

• Place both salts into plastic bag
• Add one drop of food coloring, close the bag and shake to distribute color.  Repeat this process until the desired color is achieved throughout the salt.  (Do not put more than one drop of color into the bag at a time)
• Add a couple drops of essential oil to the bag, seal and shake to distribute the scent.  Repeat this process until the desired scent is achieved (about 5-10 drops)
• Spread out the salts on wax paper lined baking sheet and allow to dry for 1-2 hours to reduce clumping
• Carefully pour the salts into the jar with a funnel, then screw the lid tightly to preserve the scent.

You can dress the jars up with ribbon and make them as fu-fu as you like.  Let your creative juices fly!!

G'night and sweet dreams!!!

Every day miracles...

January 25, 2013

Good Morning!

The start of 2013 has been fraught with illness, my fall, and Mom's passing.  Talk about a stressful month so far.  I went in to see the doctor  yesterday regarding the injuries from my fall.  My face has been swollen and my neck and shoulder aching like crazy.  He sent me over to the hospital for MRI's of my shoulder, head, and cervical spine ... I was on the table in that little tube for almost 2 hours.  By the time I emerged, I was in tears and the technician's, "I'm so sorry it took so long" didn't ease my pain.  I go back for the results next Tuesday ~~ I''m not supposed to do any strenuous activity until test results are in.  Hmmm...  That's a tough one for me!

We all experience days when we need encouragement more than other days and today might be that day for you just like yesterday was for me.  I have found the Bible to be the source of truth and can uplift and encourage me through hard times.  My computer is a God-send, allowing me to plug in whatever I am going through and it will select Bible verses for me.  If I read through these encouraging words slowly and allow God to work them into my heart, I am consoled, encouraged, and uplifted to keep on keepin' on! 

"Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'"~~ Isaiah 41:10

I thought about that Bible verse as I lay in the tube with the banging going on about me.  "Do not fear, for I am with you."  I told myself not to open my eyes and be panicked by the isolation of the enclosed tube.  I knew that God was with me and that this was necessary for an accurate diagnosis.  Since I am VERY CLAUSTROPHOBIC, it was a miracle in itself that I could complete one test let alone three!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... Look about you for the miracles in your own lives.  I promise you, they're there!

Miss Dottie

PS  “We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and mystery.” ~~ HG Wells

Thoughts While Mourning

John 14:1-4 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.”

January 15, 2013

Golly gee ... the rain mixed with ice woke me during the night.  It's still raining and cold ~~ good excuse for keeping the fireplace going.  I hear North Texas got snow but I think we are too far south to ever see those fluffy flakes float to the ground and stay awhile.  Bummers!  Anyway, wipe your paws off and come on it for a rainy day chat!!

The passing of Mom Seidler, has brought forth so many emotions.  I have revisited the deaths of my father and mother and have realized how much I have matured emotionally and spiritually since then.  It truly has reminded me that life is a process and that we all grieve in different ways.  Michael and I have complimented each other grieving separately but together as well.  I know we will go through different steps in the grief process at different times and, hopefully, give each other grace.

As I mentioned before, Mom didn't want to talk about her death or her funeral which left us feeling rather lost when she passed away.  When we went to visit with the funeral director yesterday, we often had the "deer in the headlights" feelings and looks.  There must be a buzillion ways and means to have a funeral.  Readers ... please make your wishes known and, if at all possible, make the arrangements for your death.  If you want a huge funeral and all the pomp and circumstance then go for it!!  Me?  Well, let me share my thoughts.

From the time I was very small, I lived my life fully and without abandon.  When I've said "I love you" it's because I meant it without hidden agendas or ulterior motives.  Although I am a complicated person, my thinking is simple and those around me don't have to guess at what I am about.  I have a conscience and heart as big as Texas which makes it easy to keep my slates clean.

I believe that life on earth is for the living and if someone is important then we need to show them that while they are alive.  I believe all of us want to think that someone thinks we are important enough to care about and worthy of their investment of time, energy, and resources.  I am a giver ~~ I give my time, my talents, and what money I have to those I care about.  I am not rich financially but I am rich in the love that I share with others.  And, believe me, I soak in every bit of love others have to give me.  God never meant for us to be Lone Rangers!

When I am gone, it is my desire to be cremated and my ashes placed in the box that is provided by the crematorium.  I do not wish to have a ceremony to commemorate my life on earth.  Why?  Because while I am here I celebrate every day with those who care to share my life.  My legacy will be carried on in the hearts of those I touched on earth while I have moved on to Heaven.  I have asked that my family take my little box of ashes back to Minnesota to the place where I was born.  (I must have a little Indian in me - I want to go back to the land of my ancestors!!)  Shoot, take that $5-10-15,000 that a funeral costs and put it towards helping the living.

The time to let people know you love them and care about them is NOW!  The time to mend fences and allow the peace that comes from forgiveness is NOW! Oh, you say to me, "Well, what if I am hurt again ~~ what if they reject me?"  My answer to that is:  "All God expects from you is your willingness to give it your best.  Your crown may not come on earth; however, your actions will be rewarded in Heaven."  All too many times I've heard ... "I wish I would have _____________."  Well, stop it!  Don't be sorry later for what you can do today.  Fill your life with people who are honest, walk in the light, and are willing to share your journey.  For way too many years, I had this gaping hole from a lost relationship that kept me from the best that God had for me.  Are there times when I still grieve?  Absolutely!  My grief just doesn't send me into wailing, "I must be a bad person!"  As long as I keep my focus on the Lord and his Word, I am okay.  Take my eyes off of my Redeemer and I flounder around like a fish out of water.  No kidding!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... today is no different!  To my reader in Jordan and another in Australia ... hang in there!

Miss Dottie

PS  To be separated by the death of our loved ones is so painful; to be reunited with our loved ones in the hereafter for eternity such bliss!!

A Different Kind of Monday

January 14, 2013

Good Morning, Readers!  Yesterday, we were getting ready to go visit Mom in the nursing home.  Today is Monday ... a day that Mom went to church and played Bingo.  Today, mom is gone and we are going to talk with the funeral director and attorney.

I couldn't wind down enough to sleep until after midnight.  When Sadie's and Toby's alarm  clocks went off this morning, I couldn't drag myself out of bed.  Michael fed them then crawled back in bed with me.  We didn't have to talk, we just held each other for over three hours.  The tears come and go, feelings become numb then are ripped open by the reality of loss.  We are weary and tired.

Our neighbors, Beverly and Don, came over yesterday afternoon with a chicken dinner and words of, "We care and are here for you."  Son, Tommy, drove down from Dallas for a few hours of love and comfort.  What a rock he has been for Michael and I in times of need.  We received and made phone calls trying to remember everyone that needed to be notified.  Some calls we wish we could have made in person because we knew the news would be devastating for those who had been friends with mom since she was a tiny girl.  Friendships that last 80+ years run pretty deep.

I have a fire going in the fireplace ... I type a few sentences then get lost in the beauty of the flames.  I know that it's time to get in gear but somehow I wish I could just take today and celebrate Mom's legacy.  I'd like to listen to One Day At A Time sweet Jesus over and over again.  That was Mom's theme song in life.

Mom wasn't rich by any sense of the word.  She lived at the little casa for over 50 years before going to the nursing home.  She loved jewelry and clothes ... she loved a party and laughing.  She was a Southern Belle spoiled by her husband and family.  She loved getting her hair and nails done and would convince her housekeepers to stop and play a few games of Skip Bo with her.  She could be stubborn and outspoken yet there was this little girl inside her that was quiet, shy, and fearful.  She worried about everyone and everything often times working herself up into a tizzy.  I smile now wondering if she is able to let go of all her fears now that she is with the Lord.  To tell you the truth, we will miss being worried about ... she loved us deeply and passionately.

You know, we can get upset with our parents over what they do or say ... OR, what they didn't do or say but, in the end, that all seems so trivial.  One thing that Michael and I have talked about a lot is our families of origin, how they affected our lives, and what we could learn from them.  We've been learning to walk in truth, light, and, most of all, we give grace to ourselves and others.  Isn't that what Christ does for us?  Aren't we to have the mind of Christ?

Followers of Jesus are not weak, sniveling, doormats.  We are bold in our faith, gentle in our spirits, and seekers of the purpose for which we have been called.  As the seasons of my life have changed, my purpose has stayed the same.  I thank God for the tough times for in those times I have grown in wisdom and understanding of myself and others.  I thank God for the good times ~~ the times of laughter, prosperity, friendships, and peace.  Even in this time of loss and grieving, I thank God ... period!

Mom's Last Party on earth 12/25/2012

I know there are care givers who read my blog.  I know how much it takes to attend to a parent or family member who cannot take care of themselves.  It can be a thankless, frustrating, tedious job that can wear down the best of people.  From the time Michael and I were married, Mom has had crisis after crisis.  Thankfully, the decision to move her to the nursing home was hers and we knew she was getting good care and that someone was close at all times.  Last September we began to see Mom's quality of life erode ... the sparkle in her eyes began to fade and she became more and more demanding.  We celebrated the good days and took the bad days in stride knowing that the Lord would provide strength.  He was faithful and gave us renewed energy when we didn't think we had any more to give and rest when we were beyond tired.

Please know, Readers, that I am praying for you ... everyone of you across the globe who read my blogs is special.  Our days are numbered by our maker and creator.  Let's make them count!!

Miss Dottie

PS  Hey Mom, up there in Heaven.  I found your Bingo winnings.  I'm going to keep those quarters as a reminder of how much you loved to play to win!!

So long Mom!

Partying with Mom 2/21/2012

January 14, 2013

We just never know, do we...  I woke up this morning and the sun was shining ~~ I had slept hard through the night and was feeling a bit groggy.  I drank some coffee, did a blog, and read through some Psalms.

Mom had been released from the hospital yesterday morning to go back to the nursing home.  She did well until early afternoon and Sundowner's Syndrome kicked in big time.  We had decided to visit Mom early today before we made a trip to Waco knowing that mornings are her best time.  Little did we know this would be our last visit.

When we walked into Mom's room, we were shocked.  She was sitting in her wheel chair unable to hold her head up.  We tried putting in her teeth, supporting her head, and making her comfortable.  Her breathing was raspy and the gurgling sound coming from her chest was frightening.  Her nurse put her back into bed and started suctioning her to help ease her breathing.  In a matter of moments, Mom was deep in the throws of dying.  Michael had gone across the hall and I ran to get him.  We reached her bedside in time to say our "I love you's" and then, she was gone.  Death came that quickly...

In so many ways, the past week I spent with her in the hospital was a gift ~~ a time to minister to her, to pray with her, and tease as girls do.  We talked about our journey of the past ten years and how grateful I had been to be her daughter.  She called me her angel and wondered how I could give her so much love.  Mom's greatest fear has always been that she would die alone.  We have been praying that wouldn't happen yet knew we couldn't be with her 24 hours a day.  God honored her prayers and ours!  God's timing was perfect.  Thank you, Jesus!!

Mom always had to be dressed for the occasion!!

The nurses and aides were so kind.  They explained the after death process of preparing the body and I asked if I could stay.  I hugged Mom and told her that we were going to clean her up and prepare her for the next leg of her journey.  The aides bathed her and put lotion on her frail body.  We put a clean nightgown on her and sprayed on some of her favorite cologne ... one of the nurses said, "There, there Miss Hollywood, you's ready for the party waiting on you."  So many of the nurses and aides that were in the nursing home came in to pay their respects and offer comfort to Michael and I.  Mom had been lovingly cared for the five years she was at Town Hall.

The funeral director arrived to take Mom ... it sure was tough letting her go.  She and I had built quite a bond.  In the time that we left the nursing home and came home, time seemed to stand still ... what had happened in the minutes between noon and 12:39pm seemed surreal.  She looked so beautiful when I gave her that last hug and kiss ... yep, she really was Miss Hollywood!

Partying with Mom 7/4/2012

The tears that stain my cheeks are hot ... my eyes burn and there is this overwhelming urge to throw up.  My job now is to comfort Michael, my husband, the only child of Henry and Virginia Seidler.  It is most difficult to think of one's parent as "gone."  No more conversations, no more visits, no more anything ... what's left behind are the memories shared and the love exchanged.  As I write this, images of Mom are running through my mind at warp speed.  I stop my weeping and smile ... I know Miss Hollywood will be remembered by so many people, me included.

Virginia Ann Tinsley Seidler

God tells us to bloom where we are planted.  To reach out and touch those whose lives we come in contact with.  He tells us to be kind, thoughtful, and loving ... we are to be his ambassadors on earth.

Listen up, Readers!  Miss Dottie declares this a reach out and touch a life day!!  I touched Mom's life and she touched mine ~~ two imperfect souls coming together in an imperfect world colliding to make a perfect unforgettable friendship!

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Miss Dottie

PS  "The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone." ~~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

The Biggest Loser?

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." ~~ Isaiah 41:13

January 13, 2012

Well, good morning!  I am so excited ... I am going to get out today and enjoy the fresh air!!  I was in the hospital with mom for five days then yesterday, it was too rainy to do much of anything except get in some r'n'r.

Last night I watched The Biggest Loser.  I hadn't watched this program much before so thought I would give it a go.  (To be honest, it was the ONLY program that came in on my rabbit-eared TV in the cottage!)  I think they have the name wrong.  How about The Biggest Winner?  I sat on the sofa eating my sea salt chocolate covered caramels as I watched the contestants huff and puff towards their weight loss goals.  By the end of the program, I felt rather convicted of my own need to shed some extra poundage.  More than that though, I was moved by the emotions and courage of the men and women on this journey.

In my own opinion the biggest losers in life are the ones who give up ... those that aren't willing do tackle the stuff stuff to crawl up out of the bowels of life and make their days count for something besides just marking time ... the ones who lie to themselves and others living as chameleons changing their colors to hide in their surroundings.  Sounds like I am judging?  No, just expressing my opinion ... I'm allowed.

One of the contestants was working with the trainer, Jillian.  Jillian was pushing her and she broke deciding to take the door rather than dig in and do what she needed to do.  The other contestants were feeling sad to have lost a comrade ... Jillian was tough ... the challenge stood.  The trainers were willing to work but only as hard as the contests worked.  They were there to encourage, to push, to show a new way of living ~~ everyone involved had choices to make.

I thought about that a lot.  More than anything in this world, I have wanted wellness ... emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  I have read books until my eyes have crossed, I have dug into my family of origin (not to judge but to help me understand) and when the going got tough, I kept on digging.  I faced truth one day at a time about where I came from, my choices, and my journey.  When the hurt got so bad that I didn't think I could stand it, I took a deep breath and pushed onward.  When I was criticized, I kept on going.  When, it was stormy, I kept on going.  Then, there were times I rested in the desert licking my wounds and wondering what to do next.  I prayed, I fasted, I took another class and injested another round of therapy.  Something inside of me just kept on urging me to forge ahead.

No one took me to therapy, no one took me to the gym, no one took me to Bible study classes ... no one had to push me to read a book.  I had some great mentors ... women and men that were God-fearing warriors.  I wanted what they had ... like the contestants on the Biggest Loser, I wanted it bad.

In my quest, I discovered who I was created to be.  I made amends and cleared my slates; and, I finally reached a day when I could stand up straight and actually like me warts, bumps, and all. The running in the hamster wheel stopped when I realized that not everyone would forgive me or like me.

Was the hard work worth it?  Heck yes, it was!  I see the fruits of my efforts rubbing off on my children and they will pass their wholeness on to their children.  Am I done?  Hmmm...probably not.  I'm just not having to push so hard these days ... the franticness of not knowing has left allowing me to smell the sweet fragrance of the rose, feel the piercing cold of Winter rain, and drink in every moment I share with my friends and family.

If you're think my life is perfect, it's not.  If you think that the pain of all the relationships that were so precious to me were mended, they weren't.  I hold out my hand in reconciliation and love and stand tall knowing that I am the daughter of the most high, the Lord Jesus.  He washed me clean and rinsed me with his grace ... He took a towel and dried my tears.  He gave me a voice that I might love others and know that everything is Father-filtered.  I get up putting on the full armor of God and stand ready to do battle with the evil one.

The Biggest Loser sheds pounds of weight physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  There is that spark inside of them that is ignited by something that fuels the soul.  The Biggest Loser becomes The Biggest Winner only when demons are faced and  there is a transformation by the renewing of their minds!  You didn't know so many things we face in life are laid out for us in the Bible did you?

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is~~his good, pleasing and perfect will." ~~ Romans 12:2 (NIV)

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!

Miss Dottie

PS  "Feel the fear. Do it anyway!"- Jillian