A Different Kind of Monday

January 14, 2013

Good Morning, Readers!  Yesterday, we were getting ready to go visit Mom in the nursing home.  Today is Monday ... a day that Mom went to church and played Bingo.  Today, mom is gone and we are going to talk with the funeral director and attorney.

I couldn't wind down enough to sleep until after midnight.  When Sadie's and Toby's alarm  clocks went off this morning, I couldn't drag myself out of bed.  Michael fed them then crawled back in bed with me.  We didn't have to talk, we just held each other for over three hours.  The tears come and go, feelings become numb then are ripped open by the reality of loss.  We are weary and tired.

Our neighbors, Beverly and Don, came over yesterday afternoon with a chicken dinner and words of, "We care and are here for you."  Son, Tommy, drove down from Dallas for a few hours of love and comfort.  What a rock he has been for Michael and I in times of need.  We received and made phone calls trying to remember everyone that needed to be notified.  Some calls we wish we could have made in person because we knew the news would be devastating for those who had been friends with mom since she was a tiny girl.  Friendships that last 80+ years run pretty deep.

I have a fire going in the fireplace ... I type a few sentences then get lost in the beauty of the flames.  I know that it's time to get in gear but somehow I wish I could just take today and celebrate Mom's legacy.  I'd like to listen to One Day At A Time sweet Jesus over and over again.  That was Mom's theme song in life.

Mom wasn't rich by any sense of the word.  She lived at the little casa for over 50 years before going to the nursing home.  She loved jewelry and clothes ... she loved a party and laughing.  She was a Southern Belle spoiled by her husband and family.  She loved getting her hair and nails done and would convince her housekeepers to stop and play a few games of Skip Bo with her.  She could be stubborn and outspoken yet there was this little girl inside her that was quiet, shy, and fearful.  She worried about everyone and everything often times working herself up into a tizzy.  I smile now wondering if she is able to let go of all her fears now that she is with the Lord.  To tell you the truth, we will miss being worried about ... she loved us deeply and passionately.

You know, we can get upset with our parents over what they do or say ... OR, what they didn't do or say but, in the end, that all seems so trivial.  One thing that Michael and I have talked about a lot is our families of origin, how they affected our lives, and what we could learn from them.  We've been learning to walk in truth, light, and, most of all, we give grace to ourselves and others.  Isn't that what Christ does for us?  Aren't we to have the mind of Christ?

Followers of Jesus are not weak, sniveling, doormats.  We are bold in our faith, gentle in our spirits, and seekers of the purpose for which we have been called.  As the seasons of my life have changed, my purpose has stayed the same.  I thank God for the tough times for in those times I have grown in wisdom and understanding of myself and others.  I thank God for the good times ~~ the times of laughter, prosperity, friendships, and peace.  Even in this time of loss and grieving, I thank God ... period!

Mom's Last Party on earth 12/25/2012

I know there are care givers who read my blog.  I know how much it takes to attend to a parent or family member who cannot take care of themselves.  It can be a thankless, frustrating, tedious job that can wear down the best of people.  From the time Michael and I were married, Mom has had crisis after crisis.  Thankfully, the decision to move her to the nursing home was hers and we knew she was getting good care and that someone was close at all times.  Last September we began to see Mom's quality of life erode ... the sparkle in her eyes began to fade and she became more and more demanding.  We celebrated the good days and took the bad days in stride knowing that the Lord would provide strength.  He was faithful and gave us renewed energy when we didn't think we had any more to give and rest when we were beyond tired.

Please know, Readers, that I am praying for you ... everyone of you across the globe who read my blogs is special.  Our days are numbered by our maker and creator.  Let's make them count!!

Miss Dottie

PS  Hey Mom, up there in Heaven.  I found your Bingo winnings.  I'm going to keep those quarters as a reminder of how much you loved to play to win!!