February, the Month of Love

February 6, 2014

Dear God,

February is the month of love; and, as a died in the wool romantic, I love everything about this special season. I didn't know how many times love was mentioned in the Bible and was surprised to find that in the KJV it is mentioned over a thousand times (so it says on google). You must have had a big heart for the earth and the people you have placed on it. I like that.

Miss Dottie aka
Dr Romance

For quite a few years, I was a professional matchmaker, relationship coach, wrote two columns on relationships, and taught classes at church on affairs of the heart. I must say I am very grateful for those years and for the lives I touched and those who touched mine. It was a time when I could spread my wings and develop The Dating University and have lots of hands on teaching. We can't "do" what we don't know and I was surprised at how many people aren't aware of their own issues while pointing fingers at others.

God, I know you didn't intend for relationships to be endured. You intended our relationships to be wonderfully enjoyed. How can we do that without knowing each other?? We can't. Men and women are so very different in many ways ... especially in basic needs. Because I am a Christian, you know I always speak from that platform. Because I am having this conversation with you, let's dig deeper into moi...

Personally, I have longed to follow a man of courage, conviction, commitment, compassion, and character ~ a strong man with a gentle heart. Before I was married, I made a list of what was really important to me ... at the top of the list was that my man be a Spiritual Leader living his life based on your word. I knew that if he loved you, he would love me too.

My own love languages are quality time and words of personal affirmation and appreciation. For a person to say "I love you" and neglect those areas makes my heart sooo sad. I remember telling men in a seminar that to love and "keep" a woman, they must study her and not depend on media hype ... especially important occasions special to them. For me, as a creative artist in the area of beauty and balance, it's all about presentation ~ to someone else it might be something totally different.

Lord, we all need personal affection and romance. Romance is kind of a game, isn't it. It's fun playing the game ... sometimes we win and sometimes we lose but what's cool is that romance is ever changing. The feminine mystique is very real! Romance is quite an adventure and you know how much I LOVE to laugh and have adventures!!

I am an old soul ... always have been probably always will be. I love deep intimate conversation of all kinds from philosophical to politics to books to art to saving rescue dogs to food to music to interior design to gardening to antiquing to balancing a budget. There are times for being serious and times of being playful which is where my sense of romance comes in. I'm not so good at surface conversation (although I did teach men and women how to flirt) and enjoy talking at a deeper heart level. As a Stephen's Minister, I became quite versed in active listening. IMPORTANT for any relationship!!

Don't you just love it, God, when people look up to the heavens in prayer and unveil their deepest thoughts? I admire people who are honest, trustworthy, and secure in themselves ~ I admire people who are able to fully explain their plans and actions clearly and completely. We are not responsible for each other; however, we are responsible to each other. The growth of openness and honesty are just flat out there where mature love is in the equation.

Father, as women you have wired us to need a sense of stability and security. We can have successful careers in whatever field we desire; however, there is something about that strong shoulder that we find so appealing when push comes to shove. Every relationship needs that security hub which, for me, means my relationship with you. A long time ago, I realized that no earthly person could fill all my needs and I would be hurt, devastated at times, broken, battered, and flat out deceived. Yep, that's life. I've also realized the importance of atoning for my own flops and sins ~ extending forgiveness where forgiveness is due ~ and, moving on. Maybe that's a blessing of being the eternal optimistic romantic!!

Because of the road I have traveled, I have a special place in my heart for the wounded woman. This month of love can be especially sad for those who have been taken in my unscrupulous men and hurtful relationships. God, it is those women that I am asking you to heal today. Give them hope, strength, and courage to be all you created them to be. Encourage them to attend classes and fill their lives with people who are able to lift them up. Most of all, help them to know you.

Amen.

Miss Dottie

PS Note to Readers: "You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching. Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth." ~William W. Purkey

There's NOTHING WRONG with romancing the self. I celebrate my feminine self each and every day ... speaking of which ... it's nearly time to light my evening candles, put on some Celtic Thunder music, and do a little dancing!