Family is about lending a hand...

Double Knockout Roses grace the front steps of the little casa

Hi Readers!  It's been awhile since I posted a blog.  I came down to the little casa and have been on a dead run all week.  At least I sleep good at night...

I don't know how many of you have fixed up an old house but it is true ... it takes twice as long as you think it will and twice as much money.  We started this journey a year ago and are still without a completed kitchen.  We are waiting now on counter tops, sink, dishwasher and garbage disposal hookup, a refrigerator, and wallpaper.  Other than that?  The inside is done!!  Everything has turned out better than we thought so our vision was right on and we are glad that we decided to go forward on our project!  I've sure learned a lot about patience and perseverance...



Almost done!!

For the past several weeks, I've taken on the job of cleaning out a garage that was a dumping ground for over 25 years.  I got down to the final push today and wondered what in the world I was going to do with the boards, metal shelves, and cabinet that was left.  One man's trash is another man's treasure!  A man stopped by and asked if he could have the broom I put out with the trash.  I was happy to part with the chewed up broom and asked him if he would like the shelves.  He was so excited to take the shelves and helped me clean out the odd pieces of wood.



Two foot long snakeskin!

As we cleaned up, we found a snakeskin at the back of the garage and he warned me about putting my hands behind the boards and lifting up boxes.  Good grief ... I was almost done!  I had hauled out mountains of boxes and trash bags filled with rat eaten junk.  The snakeskin was pretty dern creepy.  I wondered where he or she was hiding or if it had left the premises.  I decided that my husband would need to clean out and sort through the workshop.  I'm glad I saw the snakeskin when I was finished with my project rather than before or I doubt that I would have had the nerve to even go in there.

I found out that Ricky worked on homes doing handywork, painting, etc.  I asked him about helping me give a facelift to the garage and he said he'd welcome the work.  I am determined to get my car in the garage!!  The folks here are hurting for jobs and are so willing to work at a more than reasonable rate.  I am learning so much about small town life and am humbled.  For many who live in this bedroom community, life is about survival.

Ask and ye shall receive...  I had prayed as I was working about how I was going to get rid of my final pile and all of a sudden, this Ricky guy showed up.  OK, that part was done ... now what was I going to do with the wood.  My neighbors, Don and Beverly arrived and Don offered to take the wood pile to the local dump and not only did they help me but they invited me to dinner.  God not only answered my prayer for help but he also fed me!!  Be careful what you pray for, you just might get it!!

I've always been the kind of person who could talk to a door knob and am finding new friends and welcoming new ways of life here.  My new found friend, Beverly, has been a God send.  She called me yesterday and asked if I would like to tour the countryside and do a little bargain hunting.  My ears perked up at that prospect and we took off.  Wellll....Beverly may be from this area but we got lost somewhere between Burleson and Cleburne!  She likes adventures as much as I do so we made the best of things and stopped at interesting stores as we found our way through some pretty interesting little Texas towns.

I'd never been to a Mexican grocery store ... Beverly introduced me to some pretty awesome sweet bread that we washed down with a Diet Coke.  We found an organic grocery store (Beverly is a foodie) as well as some little shops where the locals go.  Once we found our way to Burleson, I was shocked at the number of stores common to the Dallas area.  I was in pig heaven ... Marshall's, TJMaxx, Ross, Michael's, Hobby Lobby as well as the usual department stores.  Yea!!

Tonight, I feasted on grilled pork chops, toasted garlic bread, potatoes dusted with olive oil, and a wonderful salad with balsamic Italian dressing.  Beverly ground some coffee beans, make the coffee, and gave me a new sugar to try ... hmmmm ... yum!  We had fresh pineapple for dessert and I left feeling mighty stuffed.  I thanked God for these two people who have been so kind to me this week.  I'm usually the giver and doer and it felt rather strange being the recipient of such warm hospitality.  I'm going to need to bone up on my cooking if I am to reciprocate!!  I wonder if they would like Swedish Meatballs??

Life at the little casa is fraught with warmth, quietness and a serenity that makes me so still inside.  I am learning about what is really important at this season of my life.  Simplicity and people that I love are at the forefront..  I can do without stuff but I can't do without love and warmth ... the energy I get from positive, loving people energizes me and makes me happy.

When I prayed about redoing the little casa, God gave me a peace about it.  I didn't understand it but that peace has never left me..  I knew that if this endeavor was ordained of God, then it would be fruitful.  Little did I know how fruitful.

My Bible study has taken me to 2 Kings 1-3...  I've found the stories of Elijah and Elisha fascinating.  Elijah was transported to heaven by a fiery whirlwind and chariot.  Oh goodness, that must have been a sight!!!  Each time I read through the Bible, I have more questions and also find more answers.  I write in the margins which is interesting to read what I was thinking at a particular time.  Today, I had written from James 1:2, "Count it all joy, my brethren when you meet various trials for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness."  Yes, it does!!

Tomorrow, I am taking Mom downstairs at the nursing home to get her hair cut.  She wanted my opinion on a shorter style.  It hardly seems possible that just a couple weeks ago she was at death's door.  I brought her some new summer nightgowns this morning and she was excited about wearing something new and fresh.  Being with Mom reminds me every day how precious life is and to cherish every minute of every hour.  My time of old age will come way too soon...

I sign off tonight wishing all of you a restful slumber ... may you wake refreshed and ready to take on your day!  You are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!



Your best investment in the future is a godly influence in the present!!


 

Family...It only takes a spark to get a fire going!

Sadie loves to drink from the fountain!

Good Morning! It's Sunday, the Lord's day, let me rejoice and be glad in it!  It looks like rain today ... wouldn't that be wonderful?  I wouldn't have to haul out my hoses today to water my plants!  For some reason they always do better when watered from above!

Isn't that the way with us too?  We always do better when we are nourished by the man upstairs.  I woke up this morning singing this song and wanted to send it to you to sing along.  It's a lovely arrangement and so appropriate for the Lord's Day and for Spring!  Come on ... I want to hear you singing!!

The words to this song move me and invigorate me!  With God I am never alone!  And, YES, I do want to pass that on.

It only takes a spark to get a fire going ... in families a spark can get a bonfire going ... arguments, misunderstandings, hatred, passive aggressive and impulsive actions...  People are wounded, stomped on and hung out to dry.  We hear about those types of sparks every day on the news.  Domestic violence is topping the charts ... murder, wars...  The smallest word or action ignites the worst of man...  We've all experienced this in one way or another.  I have many times ... BUT, God came to me and set me free.  When I couldn't come to where he was, yes, he came to me ... over and over and over...

My sparks are meant to share my faith with others and when the fires are raging around me, I am able to experience peace.  Am I able to do this perfectly?  Heck no!  But when all seems lost, I know God is working on my behalf.  I just have to do the next right thing and leave the rest to him!!  Angry people burn themselves out.  My way to handle angry, hurtful people is to become quiet and move away from the fire ... I guess you could consider that being a coward but somehow, God has shown me that I don't need to fight my own battles ... Now, if someone hurts my children or grandchildren, I can rare up and protect them when they aren't able.  I didn't get the name Mama Bear for nothin'!!  If I will do that, won't my father in heaven do the same?  As the Norwegians would say, "Ya, you betcha!"

The day is before me and I am filled with the sense of peace and tranquility.  My husband filled my tummy with some of the best pancakes ever ...  It's Stephanie's birthday tomorrow and we are going to take her to lunch today.  Our actress is turning 26!  Happy Birthday to a successful young lady who is livin' life to the fullest!!

I pray that you will find happiness all around you today.  Remember that everything is "Father filtered" and we are given the tools to meet the task at hand!!

"All the darkness of the world cannot extinguish the light of a small candle."
— St. Francis of Assisi

Family...A time to just be!



Hook 'em horns!


I was up with the chickens today ... it was still dark when I headed for Providence.   It was opening day of baseball and tball for my grandsons Zachary and Nicholas and we needed to be on the ball field by 8am.  I hadn't seen the boys in awhile and their smiles lit up my heart as soon as I saw them.  My how fast they change in just a short period of time!  They were raring to go and I was still trying to keep my eyes open!  Where was my coffee when I needed it?!

What a hit!

Zachary was lead batter today (no pressure!) and, true to form, he came through ... 2 scores out of 3 times up to bat.  He has such confidence and is quite a leader.  When he was at bat, I chuckled ... he was pawing his feet across home plate.  One thing about Zachary ... he doesn't lack showmanship!  Watching him play baseball and excel in school is such a treat!

Nicholas 3/26/2011

Nicholas's tball team, the Reds, didn't play today but they did dress up for the Opening Ceremony.  Nicholas is so precious ... he comes into a room and lights it up.  Dad, Tommy, is one of the coaches on his team which has helped him with his shyness.  World watch out, this little guy is winding up for greatness!





Tommy & Nicholas

It was so fun watching my son and his sons get into baseball and tball.  I was one proud grandma sitting on the benches!  It makes my heart sing knowing that Tommy takes such an interest in the boys in all areas of their lives ... physical, emotional, spiritual and in their day to day activities.  It is hard for dads (and moms too) to balance everything going on in their lives ... Tommy does a good job of putting the important stuff first.  He walks his talk!

It is so beautiful in North Texas I can hardly stand it.  The trees are covered with blossoms and the garden centers are ablaze with color.  The grass should be completely green in a couple weeks.  I think that I'll put some pinon wood in the chiminea tonight and make some smores.  What a way to end the day!  A trip to the grocery store has to come first.  Oh the joys of mingling with the shoppers and carts!

Sometimes it's nice to just enjoy a day and not have exaggerated ups and downs ... a time to just be!  There were seasons in my life that seemed to be so ... well, filled with drama.  I wonder how much I created for myself?  These days, I prefer a more serene existence ... KISS (keep it simple stupid!) is my motto!!



Today the Opening Ceremony for baseball/tball was dedicated to a young man by the name of Caleb who succumbed to a brain tumor last night.  Caleb's best friend threw out the first ball of the season and Caleb's father caught the ball.  It was touching to listen to the prayer given by the pastor of the church Caleb's family attends.  Never mind being politically correct.  Is is because we live in the Bible Belt?  I'm not sure, I'm just glad that so many joined in singing the National Anthem and praying the prayer.  Jesus take the wheel of this season of baseball and tball ...

 

As I close today, I will end with the song that Caleb's family played after his passing last night ... Chris Tomlin's I Will Rise...

 

My deepest sympathy goes out to Caleb's family in their time of mourning and learning to live without him in their lives ... another reason for us all to cherish the people in our lives young, old and every age inbetween!  And you, my precious readers, I pray that you are having the best Saturday ever!

Take gentle care and take time to

smell the proverbial roses!

     

 

Am I My Mother's Daughter?




Blooms on Purple Leafed Plum Tree

 And a good morning to all my readers from sunny North Texas!  It's been so nice not to have to use the heat or air conditioning the past several days.  Perfect weather!  I can't believe how fast everything is greening up in my gardens.  I had set a goal for myself yesterday to clean my house BUT I just couldn't help myself ... the outdoors just drew me out and my shovel just flew into my hand.  Well, not really...

"Children learn best from example: the trouble is, they don't know a good example from a bad one." ~~Daily Walk Bible





My Mother & Father


Ever heard the saying "like father like son or like mother like daughter"?  The influence of parents on their children is hard to overestimate.  Children are born mimics...  I love the saying, "what you do speaks so loud I can't hear what you are saying."  We can't overlook the value of a proper example.












Dottie- 30's - A Time of Examination & Change

There was a time in my life when I had to hold up a mirror and take a good look at "me."  I made a list of the things that I liked and didn't like about myself.  I asked myself, "what if my children grow up to be just like me ... will I like them?"  It was then that I decided that I needed to make some life changing corrections.  Am I my mother's daughter ... absolutely!  My mother will always be my mother and I will forever respect and honor her as such.  There came a time that I had to take a good look at her life though as ask myself if I wanted to follow in her footsteps.  Sadly, I had to say "no" and decide what parts of her examples I wanted to keep that were healthy and seek counsel on changing the bad parts.  After many years of scrutiny and hard work, I am comfortable in my own skin.

This morning, I was reading in 1 Kings 12-16.  It was a time when King Solomon had died and his son, Rehoboam, was enthroned.  King Solomon had been the richest, wisest man in the country ... for many years, he followed his father David's example in loving the Lord and serving  him.  His spreading fame and mushrooming wealth began to fill his heart with pride and he developed a love of foreign wives and tolerated the worship of pagan deities.  Not so smart!  His son was headstrong, not willing to seek wise counsel.  When the people of Israel came to him complaining about high taxes brought upon them by his father, he sought the advice of two groups of men.  The first group was older men who advised him to be good to his people and serve them.  The second was a hotheaded group of young men who advised him to be even harder on his people and to increase taxes.  Guess whose advice he followed?  The moral of the story?  Be careful who you ask advice of...

In my quest for wellness, I sought out counsel, took classes, read my Bible and built on who God created me to be.  I didn't like some of the advice I got so I foolishly sought out ill-advised counsel because they told me what I wanted to hear.  Needless to say, I backslid and had to start my quest again.  The good news?  I never stopped growing and learning.  In my 12 Step Program in Alanon, I learned more about me and was able to think less about "him" and "others".  The sad part was that the real root of my issues lay within the subconscious of my mind and created such turmoil for me.  I would continually sabotage my successes and be drawn to punish myself.  Wholeness was a constant battle ... the battle of good and evil, right and wrong.  I held myself captive to the wrongs I had committed against others and myself.  "I" was the problem.



A Pretty Little Target

 Children who have been repeatedly sexually, emotionally and physically abused have a difficult time understanding why they do the things they do.  Often times, the abuse is hidden within the confines of the mind and it is only by examining behavior that the real truth is revealed.  To make light of abuse is abuse in and of itself.  Why do children return to their abusers time after time?  I can only answer for myself.  Since I wasn't good enough, I kept trying to "make it right".  I was such a good child and girl and tried so hard at being the perfect wife.  I couldn't understand why life was so hard...  The unfolding of my hidden dark memories continue and, sometimes it is overwhelming.  I look at my behavior ... I had all the signs, why didn't someone speak up for me?  'Cause it would have caused problems within the family, that's why...  Some secrets are best kept secret?  NO!!!!!!





So long to the past ... hello to a better life!

I am my mother's daughter ... I am bright, pretty, a hard worker, accomplished in my God-given talents ... And, I am me ...a loving, considerate, respectful Christian woman of kindness and grace.  I am soft of heart and love my family and friends dearly.  I make mistakes and am quick to apologize and make amends.  I live in the light and am not afraid of my past any longer.  For the past several years, I have been able to stand up for myself when I am hurt.  I set boundaries for myself and others in my life.  BY THE GRACE OF GOD IT CAN BE DONE!!!  Abuse victims can overcome and live good lives without resorting to the patterns set by their parents, grandparents and others in their lives!

Spring - Newness of Life!

Look up at the sky today and thank God for your sanity and ability to live a good life.  You have the opportunity and the ability to decide who you shall serve ... Personally, I choose to follow Jesus and strive to be more like him.  It's not easy but the blessings far outweigh the work!



You have a wonderful day ... The birds are chirping ... the world is full of wondrous things to behold!  Always remember that you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!

Yes, I did hear His voice in the garden and I still do!!

   

 



Family is About Living Life!

Living Life with Serenity

Good Morning, Readers!  Yesterday, I spent all day outside getting the back porch cleaned up and two garden areas refreshed.  I was one tired puppy at the end of the day!  I couldn't wait to get up and have coffee in my own little Eden this morning.  It was chilly but the air was so refreshing.  The birds are chirping and love to nest in the trees.  Won't be long and the Spring babies will start appearing!

Family is about living life one day at a time.  You just never know what is just around the corner!  There has been so much on TV about Elizabeth Taylor ... one thing is for sure, she lived life with gusto.  Not always in ways that were proper ... she was and will forever be known as a gutsy broad.  What so many live in private, she lived in the public eye.  I can't image what that would be like.  YET, here I am blogging about the dark corners of my life and bringing light to my inner sanctum.




Living Life with Determination

 We all live our lives based on where we came from, life's experiences and the road of learning that we choose.  There was a story that I've heard many many times about two brothers that grew up impoverished with an alcoholic father who beat their mother.  One of the brothers was an accomplished attorney, a fine Christian with a wonderful family.  The other brother was the town drunk, a violent man in and out of prison.  The reporter asked the first brother the secret of his wonderful life ... he replied, "What would you expect, my father was a drunk, I learned what I didn't want to be like."  The other brother replied, "What would you expect?  My father was a drunk and taught me well."  Two brothers raised in the same home ... their own choices determined their destiny.  I've learned that we can't choose the family we are born into but we can learn and grow.



I tell you this story because we do have choices and our fate is about making more of the right ones than wrong ones.  We can either "soar with the eagles or grovel with the turkeys" ... Proverbs talks a lot about a fool and those fools never learn giving way to a life of pain and misery.  "The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice."~~Proverbs 12:15  
  


Living Life with Family

 I wake up in the morning wondering what treasures the day will bring.  Because I am retired and live on a very limited income, the little things of life mean so much ... I praise God for having eyes to see and look at the beauty all around me; I praise God for my hearing that I am able to hear my family, friends and nature speak; I praise God for my clear mind that I am able to reason and make good choices; I praise God for His blessings no matter what they might be.  I am living life with joy!  The time I spent in Florida with my daughter and family was like a dream come true and I savored every moment of our time together.  Tomorrow, I will cheer my grandson on as he plays baseball!  I live in the today and look forward to my tomorrows. 




Living Life with Laughter!

 Each day we are given only has so many minutes.  I am more aware of those minutes and guard them making the most of my days.  I work hard, I love to play, and seek positiveness.  "As a man thinks, so is he!"  I believe that!  Living life is about balance.  At a seminar on time management, I learned that sometimes our lives mean putting more time into one area but all in all, the best life is one of knowing what's important.  Seasons of life mean adjusting the areas every now and then.  For me, it's been important to set aside time to set goals, make a plan and work my plan.  That may be too structured but left to my own devises, I would fritter away my time and get nothing accomplished.


There is no better place to live life than within the family and a group of cherished friends!  For better or worse, in richer and poorer, in sickness and in health ... may we all enjoy our days as gifts from the Lord!

HAPPY SPRING!!  GO ENJOY YOUR DAY!!!

Family ... Time for Grace

Good Morning, Readers!  Oh my goodness, what a beautiful morning it is in North Texas!  I noticed that one of my rose bushes has it's first rose.  Yippee!  The scent as I pass by is unmistakeably "rose."  I think my beloved fountain has a leak as it's not holding water well.  Have to find a way of keeping the water in!

Actress, Elizabeth Taylor has passed away.  It's interesting ... she is best known for her eight marriages as well as her superb acting abilities.  She was an astute businesswoman ... a kind humanitarian.  So much is known about her as well as the unknown ... the unsaid turmoil that haunted her.  To Elizabeth, happiness was just one marriage away.  I can relate...  For so many years, I thought that happiness was "just one marriage away."  The odd part of that is that I kept marrying the same person ... a man who was emotionally unavailable.  Insanity at it's best!  It took some deep digging to find out the "why" behind my quest .... once I did that, it took me a long time to  connect head knowledge with my heart.  That's when the Lord really took my hand.  First, I had to surrender all my hurts and the crap that kept me captive.  I was addicted to smooth talking, romantically inclined men who were successful, outwardly charismatic to others, and able to charm me into thinking that they would love me like none before me.  Oh, good grief!!  I learned that I needed to learn to love myself and believe that I was worthy!

Some years ago, I had a best friend who mentored me and was there for me throughout my fourth marriage as it collapsed around me.  She was able to help me in ways that built me up ... she shared her love of the Lord with me and I felt comfortable asking her to be my accountability partner.  For her friendship in that time of my life I will be eternally grateful.  As I began to regain my composure and feel good about myself something changed in our relationship.  If I did not take her advice and do what she thought, I was chastised.  The day came when she told me that she could not be my friend anymore because she didn't agree with my choices.  I was living my life as best I could with the knowledge I had.  Grace was absent in our relationship ... the freedom to choose was absent in our relationship ... I was not doing anything illegal or immoral ... I was just not living my life the way she thought I should.  Our friendship was based on control and I didn't want to be controlled ... I wanted to be able to use my accountability partner to bounce my feelings and actions off of.  I wanted another pair of eyes and ears to speak truth.  What I received was judgement ... I began to shut down and feel bad about myself.  When I felt bad about myself, the choices I made got worse not better.  The tapes in my subconscious began to run at a rapid rate and I was headed for a brick wall!



Dottie and Madison 2000

Grace ... God gave me an invitation to take his hand, He talked to me through meditation, prayer and the Bible.  He accepted me where I was at and loved me to wellness.  He did not judge or leave me.  When others ran away, He stayed.  He was patient with me, guiding me and educating me through church, friends, family, books including the Bible, and the world about me.  He did not insist on me doing my life His way ... He just gave me grace as I stumbled in my path to wellness.  He was my constant ... my rock.  In my weakness, he gave me strength ... in my strength he gave me perseverance.  My God became the perfect accountability partner and has given me other partners who held me accountable in a constructive way.  Given freedom to make mistakes and learn gave way to a deeper relationship with God, my family and my brothers and sisters in Christ.  As a Stephen's Minister commissioned in the mid 1980'a I learned that I was to supply the caring ... God would supply the cure!  Amen!  I know that I have used the song Amazing Grace before in my blogs but I want to use it again today.  Listen to the lyrics, close your eyes and ask the Lord God to speak to you as He did to me!




Beauty in thegarden 3/23/2011

Is your life grace-filled?  Do you confront in love or in anger?  As human beings we make mistakes ... we are all imperfect human beings trying desperately to live good lives.  When someone makes a mistake, do you walk away from them thinking yourself above them?  Lots of questions for thought.  It is my hope and prayer that you will fill your heart with grace ... do your part and leave the rest to God.  Sadly enough, we often play God judging...

"God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other." ~~Reinhold Niebuhr quotes (American theologian, 1892-1971)

Have a great day ... Toby is going to help me water the garden!!  Always remember, you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!

  

Family...Pass it on...

The March wind doth blow today!  Wish I had a big kite to fly!!  I remember making a kite as a kid and thought it was so awesome to watch it rise to the sky and watch the tail move to the swaying of the kite!  Do people even fly kites anymore?  It's way too fun not to!  Some things never get too old to be enjoyed that's for sure!

In today's economy, family can be about "passing it on."  Besides family stories, and sharing my faith, I so cherish the things of this world that came from my mother and father and their families.  When my first husband and I were married we were so happy to get anything to help furnish our home.  We didn't worry about whether it matched or not.  If it was usable, we welcomed "it" into our home.  We were fortune to be blessed with two very giving families.

I am not a hoarder by any sense of the word and things don't define my life.  However, everything I have has a story behind it and I smile when I "touch and think".  There was a time when I lived in a huge house and had every nook and cranny filled with items I considered precious.  God gently reminded me that I was only a caretaker and when my life revolved around things, it was time to release them.  I went through a divorce some years ago and told my children to bring moving vans and take anything they wanted.  I only kept enough to furnish a tiny one bedroom apartment.  It was nice to be able to know that someone else could use the furniture, dishes, rugs, paintings, etc.  After my children took their selections, I invited my friends in to select from the remainder of stuff in the house.  Now, when I visit family or friends, I can smile knowing that part of me is with them.


Prop from bar scene used in filming Lonesome Dove

 As a decorator, I enjoy making things pretty and scour the countryside looking for odd items that can be conversation pieces.  Someone asked me last Saturday if I had professional training and how I became so proficient at design...  I thought about that for awhile and realized that for many years I was a decorator magazineaholic!  I also studied rooms that intrigued me and played around with anything that caught my eye.  My style has evolved over many many years of trial and error.  Most men enjoy the rooms I create as they feel comfortable putting their feet up and don't feel like they are overcome with fufu!  I tried my darnedest to work with pastels when I did the decorating board for the little casa ... it just wasn't me and all of a sudden, I started injecting deeper clear colors of red, pinks, golds, greens...  The little casa turned out to be "me" but in a little softer tone.  No matter what your talent, you can pass it on to others by allowing them into your world.

Pass it on when you need to ... pass it on when you can ... pass it on when God taps you on the shoulder and reminds you that someone is in need.  Sometimes He has asked me to give something up that I dearly treasured ... since I started my blog, that something treasured has been my silence and Pollyanna memories.  Gosh, it's been tough being so visible ... so vulnerable ... so naked before the world.  There have been times, that my heart and skin have been so raw that I thought I couldn't write another word.  Yet, with each release of truth, there was healing not only for me but for someone else in the world who needed to hear what I had to say.  Families aren't perfect and some secrets need to be revealed for the generations to heal and know that their memories aren't imagined.

Not too long ago, I heard the comment, "I wonder if my memories were true or if when I looked at a picture, my memory was influenced by another's story."  I thought about that for a very long time.  I have a photo of my brother and I taken when we were about 9 and 8, give a year or so.  I remember that photo session so vividly and it is different than when others look at the photo and see two kids smiling and looking their best.  My mother had bought me a dress to wear for the photo sit and I was so embarrassed ... I had no say-so in picking out the dress and I could see through the top.  I cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore ... I hated that dress.  Not only was I made to wear the dress, I had to wear it to church every Sunday until I outgrew it.  The little girl in the photo gave in and wore the dress ... the little girl in the photo felt embarrassment every time, she put on the dress!  My mother would tell the story differently ... she would say that I was so pretty in the dress and that she was so proud of my bother and I.  It was a fufu dress and I was not a girly girl.  To this day, I prefer classic,  fun and soft not flowery and lacy.  I made a vow when that photo was taken ... I would NEVER make my children wear something they hated.  I kept that promise not only to them but also to myself ... I NEVER wear anything I am uncomfortable in ... I am tastefully ME!!"

What do you have to pass on today?  Family is about passing it on whatever that is to me or to you.  Unless you break your silence no one will know what made you YOU!  Do you have things that others could use?  What's gathering dust and cob webs in your attic, spare room or garage ... or for that matter, your mind?  My Lord God tells me that as I give to others, I am giving to him!!  So, "Thank You for Giving to the Lord!" 

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

 



  

Family...There is no end...



Time for Dottie's gardens to come alive!

 Hi Everyone!  Spring has sprung, the grass has ris, I wonder where my honey is??  I don't know where I got that but I think about that little ditty every Spring.  As for my honey, he'd best be at work!!

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.  I am at home in North Texas and in awe of all the new growth in my gardens.  I have tried to plant more perennials each year so I don't have to plant so many annuals.  It's so fun to see what plants managed to survive the Winter.


My days have started to run together.  I was in Florida for 2 weeks and 2 days then got off the plane to find Mom S very ill.  My suitcases didn't even get unpacked before I headed out again.  Caring for Mom has been an honor but also quite stressful.  She is doing much better and I felt it was time to take a break and regroup.  I think it's important for caregivers to keep some balance in their lives.  A physically and emotionally spent caregiver can't be as loving and giving without nourishment to the self.  I realized that I was running on sheer will power...  Then, I remembered where my strength comes from and I am resting on His words, "But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."~~Isaiah 40:31

The kitchen cabinets are in the little casa and they look marvelous!  I love the light honey yellow color and the bead board fronts.  The granite fellow did a final remeasure and the counters should be in before long.  I will soon have a sink and a dishwasher!  It has been interesting at best roughing it there for so long.  I washed dishes in the bathroom sink!  It's amazing how one can improvise if we have to!  It won't be long and the inside of the little casa will be completed.  Then, we can start on the outside ... oh goodness ... that will be a job!

3 Generations

Family ... there is no end.  There is always that next generation to take the place of the one that leaves. Sadly, the ones that pass are soon forgotten ... unless you are like me and love to dig into family history.  I come from a long line of farmers, teachers, adventurous sorts and yes, story tellers and writers.  Every puzzle piece that I discover gets put into it's proper place in my history book.  I love knowing where I came from and through my blogs my family will know where they came from and what I was about.   Some say I am a fanatic about my passions ... I would rather say that I am passionate about my passions of which I have many!  I cannot be someone who God did not create me to be.

In reading the book, MY FRIEND ERN, I was delighted to read about the house that my maternal great grandfather built.  Why?  Because I can remember the house quite well.  My cousins and I used to play hide and seek in the many closets and cubby holes.  We dressed up in my grandmother's fancy dresses and pulled on high buttoned shoes.  The house started out as a one room house with a stairway to the up to two rooms.  As the family grew, the house was added on to.  I remember when they added a bathroom ... indoor plumbing was a luxury!  As a child the structure which was quite primitive did not matter ... the people who resided within the house were important parts of my life and my relationships with them did matter.  You see, our genes do move from generation to generation having no end.  My children will never remember my great grandparents rustic home but it is my hope that through my writing they will know something about their heritage through my eyes.

My paternal great grandparents came from Norway as farmers.  They had a deep faith that has been passed on from generation to generation.  My grandmother was pretty outspoken about her standards and beliefs ... she taught right from wrong and her comings and goings spoke louder than words could ever say...  She was no Sunday Morning Christian.  Her life was one of serenity and giving.  I see so much of myself in her ... I also have this adventurous side that I know came from my mother's family.  My parents' families were totally different!  When, I came across this old western song, I listened to it and thought, this has a message...  What we do speaks louder than anything we can possibly say!  As the Norweigans would say, "Ya, you betcha!"
     

Chuck Palahnuik says, "The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will."  I see that in my family past and present.  You cannot erase the words written and published.  You cannot destroy the genes that make you who you are.

Until tomorrow, I pray that you will think about the legacy and that you will pass it on to your children and those around you.  It is my hope that I will have created a life worth living and stories worth passing on.

Don't forget ... Family - there is no end!

 

Family ... dealing with death - Part II

Ready for breakfast? The coffee's hot!

Good Morning from my casa to your casa.  I am up and at 'em early today.  The granite man is coming to remeasure for the counter tops in the kitchen plus I will be getting a stack washer/dryer installed.  What a day!!!

 

Speaking of washers and dryers, I made a trip to the Laundromat this week.  What an experience!  No one was there to explain how much money to put into the washers and dryers and there were no postings.  I've been way too spoiled in life!  I felt really stupid ... a lady washing clothes there took me under her wing and showed me the ropes but not before I put way too many quarters in the dryers!  Oh well!

Chapter 3 of Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a time to live and a time to die...  We understand the living part but the dying remains something that occurs but is not often readily talked about at a deep level.  If you haven't read this book of the Bible, please do so ... it is written by King Solomon who enjoyed power, wealth and access to all of life's pursuits and pleasures.  Life?  What we do before we take our last breath ... too soon, it is too late...  As a Baby Boomer, I would say that my peers would agree with me.

Personally, I think the time to deal with death is while we are still alive.  If we do, we will have no regrets.  I love to look at photos that span the lives of those I love and watch the changes in their appearance, daily comings and goings, and where they reside.  I also enjoy visiting my own past ... believe me, I don't feel like a 64 year old!

 

How do I feel about death?  I am a Christian and when the good Lord says it's time, I am ready.  Being a history lover, I am so anxious to meet those of my family who have gone before me.  I'll probably talk their ears off I'll have so many questions.  I'm just curious about how everyone will look.  How will I recognize them?  I'll bet that I will just know...

 

My Great-Uncle Ern had a woman friend, Helen, who wrote a book called, MY FRIEND ERN.  The stories she relays about his life are amazing.  What a memory this man had!  At the end of the book, Helen talks about Ern's last days ... Let me share her words with you:

 

"One day when Ern was 92, he hurried to my apartment and told me excitedly that the doctor had ordered him to the hospital right away because he had a serious heart condition.

'But, Ern, why aren't you on your way to the hospital?  You could have called me from there!'

'I thought I should tell you!'

'If the doctor ordered you to go at once, you must go at once!'

'I have some things to finish at the house and some papers at the office ... and the car!'

'Ern, please go to the hospital, those things can wait!'

'I better go home and tell my renters.'

'I'll call them."

'No, I'll go home, then I'll go.'

'I'll call your nephew Cloyde!' I warned him, which I did as soon as he had gone.

Cloyde said, 'I'll take care of him.'  And, it's a good thing he did for it took some masterful persuasion to assure Ern he would take care of his papers and put his car in the garage.  And then he still had to help the nurses undress him as Ern was not about to let anyone else undress him -- much less a woman!

I visited him often.  His throat was swelling and he couldn't swallow so he was actually starving.  One frightening day he became rigid, and his color was ashen and he couldn't breathe -- only for a moment, but it seemed long to me.  Then he started breathing again -- his color came back.  He clung very hard to my hand and said, as he had many times when we had experienced something beautiful together -- a gorgeous waterfall, a brilliant sunset -- "They can't take that away from us, can they!'

The next day he died the same way in his nephew's (Gordon) arms.

'My friend Ern, did you ever realize in your quiet way how much pleasure you had given to me and many others?"

What a perfect epitaph ... my only hope is that people will remember me in death in that way for not to truly live and be all God created us to do is a crime!

I wonder what happens to people who never deal with death ... those that think they are bullet proof and will live forever?  To them, there's always tomorrow and those tomorrows never seem to come.  Is it fear of the unknown?  I don't know.  I can only speak for myself and listen to others share their views and experiences.  There are some that lay on their death beds lost and ashamed ... there are others who have lived their lives imperfectly perfect ... the later are the ones I admire!

"Death is not the greatest loss in life.  The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."~~Norman Cousins

Come on and sing this old hymn with me!  There is victory over death ... yes there is!!  Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!