Family...dealing with death - Part I

Good Morning, Readers!  It's me, Dottie, coming to you from the gateway to the Hill Country in Texas.  This morning, I was awakened by the dogren to go outside.  As I walked into the kitchen, I heard this horrible noise ... a noise almost too hard to describe.


Sadie usually  bolts out the back door and this time, she stopped.  What in the???????????  It was still dark outside and the only light was that of the lantern in the back yard.  I looked up at the sky and there was a multitude of birds hovering everywhere ... What an ominous sight to behold.  The sound reminded me of the movie released in 1963, The Birds.

I ran inside to find my camera to capture the birds on film ... It was too dark... Both dogs refused to go out and they climbed back into bed with me laying so they could look out the back window.  As suddenly as the birds started their racket, the noise stopped.  When it was light, I walked outside ... there were the usual number of birds, still chirping but now, singing their usual delightful songs!  I wonder what caused the gathering?  Michael said he'd never experienced anything like this here.  What an eerie way to start the day!!


I am 64 years old and it seems like in the past few years, I have been surrounded by so many that have passed.  Friends, family, acquaintances...  When we are young, we experience death so differently.  Unless it affects us personally, we go on our merry way thinking we have 50-60-70 more years ahead of us.  When we get to our golden years, we begin to realize how fragile life truly is.  It is frightening when our parents pass and their generation disappears from the earth.  It dawns on us ... we are the next generation to go.

Michael & Dottie 2010

I married Michael in August of 2003.  We were married in the little casa.  Why?  Well, it's hard to explain.  Somehow, I knew that this little place would have a lot of significance to me.  As it has turned out, my thoughts have come forth full force.  That Fall, Mom had a back surgery and got a staff infection that nearly took her life.  Since then, she has faced death so many times that we call her the lady with nine lives!  She lived in the little casa until about two years ago when she needed to be on oxygen 24/7.  I spent a week with her after she got out of the hospital and it was then that she realized that she would need more care than Michael and I could give.  It was her choice to go to Town Hall to live.  Now, she calls Town Hall home.

A little over two weeks ago, Mom was sent to the hospital with pneumonia.  She seemed to be progressing nicely then, all of a sudden, on March 7, she took a turn for the worse.  We're not sure whether it was a side effect from the antibiotic or a natural turn of events, but she experienced confusion, a slight heart attack, a stroke and seizures, one after the other.  Her doctor did everything possible to diagnose and treat her symptoms but finally, she was to the point of being put on life support or allow her to die peacefully making her as comfortable as possible.  I am glad that Mom made the decision for us by having a directive drawn up to explain her wishes should she be faced with this "Y" in the road.


The IVs were removed and Mom was moved back to Town Hall under comfort care only.  The doctor gave us a time frame of 1-3 days before she would pass.  We began to prepare ourselves for the loss of our dear mother.  I have always said that God has a sense of humor and when we take his job away, he can awe us with his decisions and presence.


When Mom got to Town Hall, she was a bit confused but soon began to absorb her familiar surroundings.  The nurses and aids popped in to welcome her back and her roommate, Paula, offered words of joy.  Mom perked up and all of a sudden her will to live kicked into high gear.  Her speech has been affected by the stoke as well as her swallowing BUT as each day passes she talks more clearly and her inability to swallow has given way to eating pureed foods!  Each day has brought progress and is a gift.  We really don't know, do we???

The mother in law relationship has been one of much discussion over the years.  Somehow the term has become the brunt of many a joke and the tearing of an eye and heart.  I have been fortunate that mother in law to me means respect, kindness, caring and love on both sides.  I have been blessed by having some pretty awesome special mom's in my life ... Ala Mae and Virginia are still alive while the rest have gone before me and I mourned their passing.

The book of Ruth is one of my favorite books in the Bible ... it is the story of Ruth, a woman who brought a ray of hope and happiness to all those around her.  Within this book, are the words spoken by Ruth to her mother in law that have become a part of so many marriage ceremonies.

"But Ruth replied, 'Don't make me leave you, for I want to go wherever you go, and live wherever you live; your people shall be my people, and your God shall be my God; I want to die where you die, and be buried there.  May the Lord do terrible things to me if I allow anything but death to separate us.'"~~Ruth 1:16-17

Ruth's husband and sons had died, and Naomi could not support her two daughter in laws.  She told Ruth and Orpah to return to the homes of their families.  Orpah did but Ruth chose to stay and care for Naomi.  The rest is history ... because of Ruth's love for her mother in law and her caring nature, Ruth met Boaz and became a member of the lineage of Christ the Messiah.

Seasons of life sandwiched between birth and death, each day a gift to be enjoyed one day at a time.  The past is gone ... tomorrow has not yet dawned.  Our days determine our destinies.  Music has always been a part of my life and, like many of us, I enjoy listening to the words as well as the melody.  As I was writing this today, the song from the Lion King popped into my head ... The Circle of Life.  It is with this song that I will end my blog today.  Joy, the birth of new life ... sorrow, the death of a loved one ...

I will be continuing my blogs on dealing with death...  Until then, I pray that you will live your life to the fullest!!

Thought for today:

"One who demands mercy and shows none ruins the bridge over which he himself is to pass."~~Daily Walk Bible

Be merciful to thine self and others ... we never know when our time hath come!