Family makes an ordinary day special!

It's been a beautiful day in the neighborhood!  Despite my late night/early morning activities, I was up and at 'em early this morning.  You see, there was this amazing aroma floating into my bedroom from the kitchen.  Tim prepared Eggs Benedict for us.  We ate out by the pool and started our day with positive conversation and general planning for the day!

Some days are just nice days ... ordinary days made special just by being alive and sharing life with family.  Just waking up to another day is special in and of itself.  My life has been fraught with drama from the time I was tiny and I am enjoying life on a more even keel.  I enjoy routine sprinkled with a bit of surprise!  I also enjoy the planning of a project as much as the completion.




Lots of work to be done!

 It was laundry day here and I laughed as my child started going through the house gathering laundry, striping beds, pulling up rugs, etc.  What a chip off the old block.  I remember the days when she was small ... I would start cleaning at the back of the house ... closets, drawers, dusting, floors, bathrooms ... the mountain of laundry would be pushed toward the laundry room.  The nice thing was that by the time I got to the laundry room, the laundry was finished and everything ready to be put away.  I said when she was small, but I'm afraid I still do that.

I took on the laundry as my job today.  Holy cow!  I've been at this all day and there are still piles.  Jane has one of those fancy washers and dryers which makes doing laundry fun.  It is important for me to feel like I am contributing to the family.  Come to think of it, that's healthy!!!  This morning, there was an assessment of what needed to be done, jobs were doled out and oolala, everything has gotten done without one person being over burdened.  I like that!  The family worked together as a unit, each pitching in to help another when they were through with their task.




Dining Room at the Little Casa

My husband can attest to the fact that I am an organizer and a bit of a neat freak.  I like to be able find anything at the drop of a hat.  When clutter begins to take over my life, something has to be done.  What is that saying, "a place for everything and everything in it's place"?  I like my relationships that way too ... not too up, not too down.   At the end of each day, I take stock and clean my slate.  What do I need to do to renew relationships, care for the ones close to me, and, in general, not let the sun go down on anything that needs to be fixed.



Oscar

 After breakfast, I took Teddy and Cricket for a walk.  It was cool with a bit of a breeze which made the walk quite nice.  They are learning to walk alongside each other which is a blessing.  They used to go their separate ways on leashes pulling me this way and that.  Teddy has adjusted quite well to the family and the other pets.  He sits, stays, shakes, does a down, and is such a gentleman.  Nothin' much rattles his feathers.  Cricket, on the other hand, is much more vocal.  They make me laugh!!  Oscar, the cat, sits high on his perch and oversees the dogs.  He and Teddy rubbed noses last night ... how sweet!

They have my favorite store  here in Wesley Chapel ... Lowe's.  We made a trip there today to get supplies to refinish the top of Madison's desk.  That's a good project for tomorrow.  We made a trip through the garden section and oh goodness, I could hardly contain myself.  The flowers were just gorgeous!!  All of a sudden, the gardener in me wanted to plant some pots and dig in the dirt.  Michael tells me that it's cold back home in North Texas ... maybe it will warm up by the time I get home.

I talked with sweet Mom S today.  She will be in the hospital another 10 days at least.  The pneumonia is being stubborn and it is difficult for her to breathe.  Her voice was weak and I wished I could reach through the phone and hug her.  I told her that I would be there to care for her as soon as I returned to Texas.  Being a caretaker of the elderly is a full time job at times and it's difficult to be so far away when they are in crisis.  I pray for her wellness and that God would look after her.

I don't know about you, but I just love the Psalms.  When I have questions, the Lord automatically takes me there.  He blows me away with comfort and wisdom. Today, I read Psalm 18 ... past conquest, future confidence.  Anyone with a troubled past who  has conquered their demons can look forward with confidence to a better future.   "The Lord is my fort where I can enter and be safe; no one can follow me in and slay me."  (Ps 18:2)  As a child, I always had a fort as a hiding place.  I always knew that I would be safe there and I headed there every chance I got.  It was like being in the eye of the storm where the wind couldn't get to me ... or angry people!

Who do you cry to when you are in pain? "In my distress, I screamed to the Lord for his help.  And he heard me from heaven; my cry reached his ears."  (Ps 18:6)  In the 1980's, I was going through a horrible divorce.  My phone was tapped, the windows were shot out in my bedroom and I lived in constant fear.  It was a time when I prayed for a hedge of protection to be put around me and my children.  In the end, the way things worked out, I knew God  had his hand on me.  "He bent the heavens down and came to my defense; ..." (Ps  18:9)  "He reached down from heaven and took me and drew me out of my great trials.  He rescued me from deep waters.  He delivered me from my strong enemy, from those who hated me -- I who was helpless in their hands." (Ps 18:16-17)

If you will open your Bible and read the entire Psalm, you will read about my story and how my Lord rescued me from the pits of hell raising me to new heights of wellness.  "...You have been loving and kind to me me and will be to my descendants."  (Ps 18:50)   God doesn't break his promises and my children will tell you how Jesus has held them in the palm of his hand protecting them and providing for them.

I shout to the Lord ... for it is because of Him that I am who I am! 

Let me leave you tonight with a quote by Dale Turner:  "Some of the best lessons are learned from past mistakes.  The error of the past is the wisdom of the future."  Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite ... now isn't that a goofy saying?  Anyway, I heard it a lot growing up...  Take care, my friends, we'll talk again soon.

Family is about leaving a legacy!

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Good Morning, Readers!  It's 1:54am and a new day is dawning. When I start thinking about my blog and a subject, it whirls around in my head until I put my hands to the keyboard. The house is quiet except for the whirrrr of the ceiling fan above me. Every now and then, I like to just sit and meditate.  I write down whatever comes to mind without dissecting it.  It is what it is...


Hmmm...let's see...  What if your doctor told you that you had only a few weeks to live and your pastor asked you to address your church.  What would you say?  Or, how about your family...  What would you say to them?  Would you mention God's provision and protection?  Would you talk about the people instrumental in your life?  My blog has been a way of leaving my legacy for my family and those who choose to follow my writings.  I am what I am ... I've walked this road of life and, believe me, have taken no short cuts.  As I stand naked before you, you see me as I am ... scarred physically, mentally and spiritually yet my heart beats loudly for my faith, my God, and for the things I believe in.  In so many ways, I am fortunate and I have been blessed beyond measure.

It says in Joshua Chapter 22:5  "...Love the Lord and follow his plan for your lives.  Cling to him and serve him enthusiastically."



Ernest Tillman Pederson 1918-1973

 My father went into the hospital in January of 1973 and died in March of the same year.  He had stomach cancer and only lived a few weeks after his diagnosis.  He was 55 years old.  I drove up to Minnesota from Texas to see him and the visit was hampered by the fact that my mother did not want anyone to tell him he had cancer.  He was in such pain and I'm sure he knew but he did not say anything...  I would leave his hospital room and sob.  There's so much I wanted to say to him but I honored my mother's wishes.  The day I left, I hugged him goodbye ... he sat up and waved to my little girls who were waiting in the car.  The last words he spoke were, "Tell Tom (my husband) that I'll be well enough to help with the farm sale in the Spring." It seemed so wrong not to give him the opportunity to say his goodbyes and for me to be able to say mine.  "See you..." just didn't seem appropriate...  Because of my history with him, I would have liked to hear him say that he loved me.  Words unspoken...love unknown...  We will have a lot to talk about in heaven.



Dottie 2/25/2011

 Sometimes I think I have been too open in writing about my fractured childhood and adult life but then, I remember my reason for starting this blog ... I want others to know that there is wholeness and having a life worth living.  There's a reason for lancing the boil of abuse, and allowing all the puss to drain ... We heal from the inside out.  Ask any wound specialist.  When we allow a scab to cover an inflamed wound, it continues to fester and can contaminate every organ in our bodies.  That's why people become alcoholics or addicts of any kind.  It's a numbing medicine.

In my case, I numbed my hurting heart and soul with men.  I kept looking for the love that I so deeply wanted.  The problem was, as the song goes, "I was looking for love in all the wrong places."  I am a word person so when someone said, "I love you" and, at first, treated me in a special way, I was hooked.  What a mess!  God didn't give up on me though and I didn't give up on Him.  He knew what happened to a tiny little girl and my life was "Father" filtered.  He protected my mind and I weathered the storms of life coming out on top.


Satan has been doing battle with me for a very long time.  I asked God to put me on the front lines for Him and sure enough, He has.  Ouch...Satan has hit me where I feel it the most:  church, family, friends, my pocket book, physical illness...  I talk back to him and stand my ground.  I am not afraid.



An Angel of Mercy

 When my daughter was running the 15K last Saturday and the man running beside her had a heart attack, she wondered if someone was waiting for him at the finish line.  She said he had on nice running clothes, expensive shoes and was wearing a wedding ring.  Tim said that when he registered Jane for the race, he had to give an emergency contact so hopefully, his family was notified soon after his attack.  We're hoping and praying that he is okay.  It really affected her though, just witnessing the event and giving him CPR.  That's trauma...  You just never know, do you?  We need to make the most of our days which includes speaking up ... we need to really talk to our families and let them know who we are, the roads we've traveled and how much we love them.

My life has changed so much since I started writing my blog.  I've experienced a tremendous amount of healing.  The process of "cleaning house" within myself has been a long process but, oh my gosh, how worth it!  When I hear people say "I can't", I will usually look them in the eye and say, "Well, that just means you aren't ready and you won't".  To sweep things under the rug invites people to trip over the lumps when enough gets shoved under.  It's your life and your choice!

This sums it up for me:  Joshua Chapter 24:15 "...But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

I pray that you will have a super day and that the sun will shine upon you wherever you go.  Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!

Family is about keeping your word!

Good afternoon, Readers!  It is another beautiful day here in Wesley Chapel, Florida.  I was up with the chickens this morning and headed to Madison's cheerleading competition in St. Petersburg.  It was a "long sit" but I was so proud watching Madison and her friends perform.





Madison, Alena, Nichole

 Last night, I was invited to join Madison and her friends, Alena and Nichole.  We watched Step It Up 3.  Then, the girls decided I needed to learn a few new dance steps.  What fun!  These girls have so much energy ... I was just glad that I was here to be a part of the action.



Madison in full makeup!

I couldn't be more proud of my second granddaughter.  She is very spirited and people oriented.  I haven't seen her in 2 years which has been way too long.  Kids change a lot in a short period of time!!  We've always had a special connection and thank God, that has never wavered in spite of the span of distance and time.
 
As I have said before, I try to think of a word or thought, then build my blog from there.  Yesterday, I was thinking about the one thing I can give and still keep which is my word.  I am a very literal person, so when someone promises me something, I am thinking they are giving me their bond which always hasn't been the case.  Seems so often there are strings attached to everything these days.  I hate that!  I prefer simplicity!!

Hypocrisy results when someone's walk doesn't correspond with their talk.  When someone's performance doesn't match what has been professed,  people are forced to conclude that they are living a lie; i.e., when you claim to have faith in God but your life is void of works of faith (James 2:14).  In other words what you do speaks so loud it doesn't matter what you say.

Lately, I have been more aware of the promises I have made to others, to Michael, my children and grandchildren...  How about you?  Have you been lax in making your word your honor?  God has been and is faithful in who he is and what he is about.  I am reading in Joshua and in Chapter 21:43-45 it tells of the promises God made to the Israelites.  "So in this way the Lord gave to Israel all the land he had promised to their ancestors, and they went in and conquered it and lived there.  And the Lord gave them peace, just as he had promised, and no one could stand against then; the Lord helped them destroy all their enemies.  Every good thing the Lord had promised them came true."

Is there a person you know who is still waiting for you to fulfill your promise to them?  Is there a big discrepancy between your walk and your talk?  A promise or a covenant with another is a very important thing.  Food for thought!

Today, there were so many different cheerleading groups competing for "First Place."  It has taken a lot of commitment and practice for these girls to get to where they are.  They did a phenomenal job coming home with a 4th place plaque.  I didn't realize how involved it was to be a "cheerleader".  Family involvement is also so important.  I felt myself getting lifted up with all the energy coming from the supporters and the cheerleaders on the floor.  They had a group of special needs cheerleaders that gave an amazing performance ... they were so cute as they did their performance.  Each flip, cartwheel, lift and step was carefully rehearsed and, oh goodness, what smiles they had!  The cheerleaders couldn't just say, "Trust me, I'm good."  They had to prove it by their actions! 

Jane & Tim

Tonight, we are all worn out.  Funny how just sitting around makes me more tired than being active.  While we were at the cheerleading competition, Tim fixed a wonderful Irish Stew.  Yum!  I'm afraid that I am being spoiled royally ... ah, it feels soooo good.  I do for them ... they do for me ... it works!!




Madison & Jane

  My mind is on rewind as I remember the day's events and the love shared.  Family truly is about keeping your word, giving support and appreciating each other's talents and gifts!  So many memory-making moments today!!

As you end your day and I end mine, I wish you the promises of my Lord, laughter, and the blessings of family.

Always remember, you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!



Way to go Stars!




 



          

Family ... Bittersweet Times



Jane, Katrina, Dottie, Madison

This evening has been bitter sweet.  Isn't life that way though?  You just never know what can happen from one moment to the next.  We had all been looking forward to spending some time together.  Jane has been working 50+ hour weeks as a pharmacist and now has 3 days off in a row!  Woo Hoo!  It was definitely time for three generations to enjoy an evening of relaxation and laughter!!



Madison & Grandma

Tonight we went to Benedetto's for some wonderful Italian food.  The atmosphere was quite romantic with the piano player singing and playing Frank Sinatra oldies.  We all got dressed up and had a very festive evening!  I took lots of photos and when I came home, I realized that I hadn't put my memory card in my camera.  Bummers!  Thank goodness, Jane had her camera so we got a few good photos.  My old camera lets me know when I forget to put the card in and my new one doesn't.  I depend so much on photos to tell my stories, I won't forget ever again! 



Michael & Mom S

When I walked in my room, my phone was ringing.  It was the nursing home letting me know that Mom S's oxygen levels were too low and they couldn't get them up plus she was having trouble breathing.  I gave them permission to take her to the Emergency Room and called Michael.  He was at the new members Orientation Meeting at church and had his phone turned off.  He is calling Town Hall and will call me back ... now, I wait.

This evening is a reminder to live in the now because you really don't know what's ahead.  Appreciate every moment with those you love.  It's okay to have dessert and to splurge on a meal  
prepared by a distinguished chef. 

It's been such a long while since I've dined at such an exquisite restaurant.  My tummy is full!!

Jane & Tim

Tomorrow morning, Jane and Tim are running a 15K.  Tim has been struggling with a bad back all week so we'll see how he does.  I wanted to be there at the finish line with my arms open wide to welcome them in but looks like Grandma "." will be on Katrina watch duty.  I was there when Jane ran her first marathon ... I followed her in the car and welcomed her across the finish line.  Some things in my kid's lives, I'm just NOT going to miss.

Katrina just came into my room.  She is so funny.  We looked at some old photos of me and there are some resemblances ... it's fun to see the parts of us that get passed on to our children and grandchildren.  She told me she thought we should go swimming tomorrow morning.  Sounds like a plan.  Maddy was next to come in ... gosh, I love that girl.  She has cheerleading competition tomorrow and Sunday.  Tim is going tomorrow and Jane and I will go Sunday. 

On the way home from the restaurant tonight, Jane had the car radio cranked up and she and Tim sang to "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman.  I thought about the love I have for my family and friends and for the Lord who keeps me safe and sane ... I will never let go!!  If you're struggling with someone or something hang on tight to the one who makes everything come out okay ... no matter what!

 

 Good night, everyone ... I hope that all of you have had a wonderful day.  Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... ya you!!



Family dinner at Benedetto's!  Cheers!!





 

Family is about Living a Dream!

Ready for School

Good Morning, Readers!  Another beautiful day in sunny Florida.  I make sure I am up early to give Katrina a hug and a "have a good day" before school.  She looked especially beautiful today as you can see from the photo to the left.  Family is and always has been such an important part of my heart and soul.  It's something that money can't buy and you don't know how wonderful it is until you experience it.  I am living my dream in reality!!





Clearwater Beach

I am writing from my perch in the lanai.  The birds are singing magically today and I am drinking in the beauty around me.  God truly has created a wonderland ... not only in North Texas but in this area of Florida as well.  I don't know about you but, when I think about it, I've thought everywhere I've been has offered something beautiful in the terrain.  God has given us such beauty to behold!


I have been reading in Deuteronomy for several days and have now, moved on to Joshua.  In Joshua 5:13-15 it is written:  "As Joshua was sizing up the city of Jericho, a man appeared nearby with a drawn sword.  Joshua strode over to him and demanded, 'Are you friend or foe?'  'I am the Commander-in-Chief of the Lord's army,' he replied.  Joshua fell to the ground and worshiped him and said, 'Give me your commands.'  'Take off your shoes,' the Commander told him, 'for this is holy ground.'  And Joshua did."  Today, look down at your feet ... you ARE standing on holy ground.  We live in a world created by the almighty.  Give him honor for the land beneath your feet! 

Sooo Pretty!

Last night, Jane and I took Katrina to gymnastics then decided to do a little outdoor mall walking.  Of course in window shopping we spied some tempting clothing and jewelry and decided to "touch"!  Well, you know what happens when you "touch"!!!  Jane found some wonderful clothes for work and play and she generously bought me a Brighton necklace and earrings.  It was fun to hug and laugh and just spend some mother/daughter time.  My love language is quality time so it was especially fun for me whether we bought anything or not.  The stores weren't very busy so we had clerks all to ourselves.  What fun chatting with them, wishing them well and thanking them for their personal service.



Do I need to photoshop Cricket?  Off to the vet!

 This morning, Tim and I are taking Oscar (cat), Cricket and Teddy to the vet.  When, I said that this family is continually on the go, I meant it.  I am finding that their energy fills me and I am less tired and want to be a part of that action.  They are good people.  Selfishly, to see the fruits of my parenting is so awesome.  God has blessed me with some awesome children and grandchildren!!

I giggled this morning when I started reading my DW Bible ... On my "Your Daily Walk" section, it said, "There is a special place for people without problems -- it's called a cemetery."  Joshua 12:7-24 lists 31 of General Joshua's victories, each achieved in the strength of the Lord.  How many victories have you enjoyed in your lifetime?  The use of your tongue?  Money?  Relationships with your spouse or parents?  Your time?  Church?  Family?  Temper?  Addictions?  I thank God that my progress in so many areas has been strong and ongoing.  I take it one day at a time and one step at a time and that works for me!!

As I have mentioned in past blogs, one of my favorite shows is Criminal Minds.  One of my favorite characters has left the show and here is a quote that stuck with me: 

"I'm thankful for my years spent with this family; for everything we shared, every chance we had to grow. I'll take the best of them and lead by their example; where ever I go. A friend told me to be honest with you, so here it goes. This isn't what I want, but I'll take the high road. Maybe it's because I look at everything as a lesson, or I don't want to walk around angry. Or maybe it's because I finally understand. There are things we don't want to happen, but have to accept; things we don't want to know, but have to learn, and people we can't live without, but have to let go.".~~AJ Cook spoken by JJ


Why has this stayed with me?  Maybe because in my 63 years, I am so very thankful for time spent with family and friends who have come and gone.  In Alanon, I learned to "take what you can use and leave the rest."  To live unselfishly ... to take the high road ... to be submissive and obedient to those in authority over me (God, my husband) ... to accept the things I really didn't want to know but have had to learn.  To let go of  those that I love but knew it was necessary to do so...  This has been my life in a nutshell.

By the grace of God, I am sitting here this day doing exactly what I am passionate about ... writing for the common man and living within the most wonderful family God could have put on this earth.  What more could I ask for?

Ever heard the old adage, "problems are opportunities turned inside out"?  Well, it's true ... Just like the battle of Jericho, sound your trumpets and shout Amen!  Come on, put those hands together and sing along!!!

Have a wonderful day ... Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!

Rainbow Bridge...

Lucille "Lucy" Borne 2010-2011

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Our evening last night started out with merriment and the joy of being together.  With a scream, "Lucy ... there's something wrong with Lucy," our focus immediately changed to the little hamster who had brought so much joy to the Borne family.  Today, I want to pay homage to the little redhead who touched so many hearts.

Lucy was christened Lucille Borne after the famous redheaded actress Lucille Ball.  She was a perky little rascal ... gentle, never aggressive.  Although she slept a lot during the day, she became alive in the evening offering the family many chances to watch her roll around on the floor in her ball, hold her, and snuggle with her.  She was famous for her friendliness!

There are many who would say, ugh ... rodent ... but, to her family, Lucy was special.  Instead of allowing her to die alone, she was held and loved until she took her last gasps of air.  Each member of the family was able to say their good-byes.

Katrina wrote a book about little Lucy telling her how special she was and how she wanted her to get well.  Her sensitivity was an inspiration to all of us.  How do we as parents and grandparents explain death to a child?  All we could do is cry, hug each other and talk about how important Lucy had been.  I could picture Lucy in heaven with God doing the "hamster dance".

Jane lined a box with soft tissue and we held a funeral for Lucy in the backyard and buried her under a tree. We all gathered around, held hands, and Katrina gave the prayer and eulogy celebrating Lucy's life.  "Dear God, Lucy was a good hamster, she was my friend and I loved her very much.  I know you will love her as much as I do.  I will miss her." 

Why am I dedicating this blog to Lucy?  Because no matter how small she was, God had a purpose for Lucy and she fulfilled that purpose of bringing together a family.  She will be missed by many who cared for her and about her.  Lucy was a celebrity in her own right!!



Lucy & Friends




Lucy & Madison





Lucy & Katrina

Consider this a hug your pet day!  Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!



Family is about being yourself!

Bianca & Katrina

Good Afternoon from sunny Florida!  What a pleasure it has been to wake up and toddle out to the lanai and have coffee and do my Bible reading!  It reminds me of my back porch at home in North Texas!  The sound of the water falling off the spa into the pool sounds similar to my angelic fountain.  Ahhhhh ... inspiration at it's best!!

This morning, I was reading in Deuteronomy 31-34 ... the conclusion of Moses' life.  After a parting message to the Israelites, Moses climbed Mount Nebo to catch a glimpse of Canaan then died and was buried in a location only known to God.  There has never been another prophet like Moses (v 34:10)!!



Nicholas the Fireman!

 Have you ever wished you were someone else?  My grandson, Nicholas, loves to dress up in costume and "be" that particular character.  Our teens model themselves after their favorite movie stars copying hairstyles, clothing and makeup.  As adults, we often wish we were like a popular personality, successful executive, decorator and on and on. 



Sometimes it's difficult just being happy with who we are.  There's always the danger of forgetting who you are "not" and the real you showing up.  Trying to make yourself into someone you aren't can be potentially harmful because we don't feel comfortable in our own skin.  It's tough living a lie.  God never asks us to be someone we are not or to do something He does not equip us to do.  When God asked Joshua to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land, He did not expect him to be another Moses.  For deliverance from Egypt, Moses was the chosen man, right for the job.  For military conquests and leading the people into Canaan, General Joshua was God's choice.



This is totally me ... casual with a smile!

 For many years, I was a copycat because I wanted to learn to be a better me ... I wanted to learn how to cook so I bought a good cookbook;  I wanted to be fashionable so I learned what clothes looked best on my shape; I wanted to be the hostess with the mostest (!) so I observed those who entertained with ease; I devoured books taking a little from this book and a little from another maturing in many areas.  I chose people that I admired and learned from them; yet, I always marched to the tune of my own drum choosing to learn then lead.  From the time I was small, people saw me as a leader and a good person.  The problem was that my parents saw me as too talkative, too bossy, a pest and never good enough.  Little children tend to believe the view their parents have of them and even though I fought them like crazy, their voices moved into my subconscious.  I learned that God doesn't make junk and that included me!

As a young adult, I was always worried about what people thought of me.  Then, I learned that people have busy lives of their own and realized that they really could care less.  I had a serious surgery in the mid 1980's and the first thing I asked for when I woke up was my make-up.  God forbid should someone see me less than perfect.  I still battle those thoughts.

God has had jobs for me where I have been able to use my talents, gifts and abilities in service to him and my fellowman.  How about you?  All you have to do is ask Him to show you what it is He wants you to do.  Whatever He does ask of you, He won't ask you to be someone you are not.  Allow Him to use you and equip you.  Some years ago, I taught the class, The Power of a Praying Wife.  I would sit at my computer to write the lesson plan until the Lord began moving my fingers on the keyboard.  He used every weakness I had for His glory!! 

"Don't be afraid, for the Lord will go before you and will be with you; He will not fail or forsake you."~~Deuteronomy 31:8



Tim & Teddy ... A man & his dog!



My time in Florida has been such a blessing.  I feel so energized ... Just to be here for Teddy's adoption, to be able to see first hand the girls do cheerleading and gymnastics, and to spend time with Tim and Jane getting to know them better has been such a gift.  There is such peacefulness here yet a liveliness that is hard to describe. 



Madison



Madison came home from school today and I just had to grab her and give her a bear hug!  She is an outgoing teenager with a mind of her own.  I like that.  She makes me smile.  Soon, Katrina will be bounding through the door.  I look forward to being here to welcome them.  I have this window of time and I want to make the most of it!!  Aren't grandchildren the best?  I see bits of me in them and selfishly, I like that!!



Katrina - Ready & raring to go!



Katrina is abuzz with questions and activity.  Her mind goes a mile a minute.  She is definitely a decisive leader yet she has this soft sensitive side that endears her to everyone around her.

I hope that you are enjoying my world here in Florida along with me.  I know that many of you have family who live a distance away and, like me, you don't see them often.  I have learned so much in the few days I have been here ... the most important being that I need to make coming here a priority.  People are important ... some other less important things need to take a back seat!!

It is time for me to head for the kitchen.  I made homemade chicken soup with salad and fresh bread for dinner tonight.  Ahhhhh ... another evening of family togetherness!!  I love it!!



Jane, Tim, Madison, Katrina

As the day is coming to an end, I am filled with awe at how much love I feel for my family.  Each moment has been filled with specialness ... I do believe I could fly!!



Blessings and love sent out to all of you ... always remember, you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

  



Family is about Adoption!



Hamilton Elf goes to Florida!

 Good Morning from the Sunshine State!  Right now it's a little cloudy but oh so peaceful and quiet (other than the birds singing!).  It's going to be a day of rest, relaxing, and writing.  I am starting to write book one of the Hamilton Elf series for children.  I want to use Hamilton to instill good character in a way that children can readily accept and understand.  In just the short time I have been here, Katrina has expressed some thoughts that are pretty awesome.  Since I have grandchildren 7 and under, that's my targeted range for readers.

Once I finish a blog, my mind starts thinking about my next topic ... usually a word pops into my mind and today, that word was "adoption"... maybe because Teddy was just adopted into the family here in Florida.  When I think about adoption, I think of the meaning to accept or to take in lovingly.  There is also adoption of a creed, lifestyle or a myriad of other meanings...






Dottie and Michael 2010

 Family is so much about adoption.  Michael and I were married in 2003.  At that time, I was lovingly adopted into his family.  Mom S has been a wonderful part of my life and it has been an honor and privilege to serve her.  Michael's children and grandchildren became mine and my children and grandchildren became his.  It gets complicated because to be adopted lovingly doesn't always happen and that's sad to me.  For my entire life, I've always been an accepting, loving person so it's foreign to me when I am rejected or others are rejected.  Coming from an abusive background, my first thoughts are of blaming myself and trying to fix the situation.  There have been times that I almost felt like a hamster running as fast as I could in a wheel going nowhere.  Thank God, these days, I am quick to apologize for my part in any misunderstanding, make amends, then trust Him with the rest.

I have learned that there will be some people that I rub the wrong way and who will choose not to adopt me into their circle of life and I must be okay with that.  I know that to dwell on my rejection only brings me sadness and depression which means I don't have the time and energy to devote to those that have adopted me lovingly.  I hope I am making some sense.

You see, I had this big hole in my heart for a long time ... I filled it with busyness, things, projects, men ... you name it.  It didn't work because nothing and no one could fill that hole and my own insecurities.  I was expecting others to be God which only lead to further emptiness and bigger insecurities.  Only the love of my Lord filled the hole and healed me.  There is a good book I read written by TD Jakes, THE LADY, HER LOVER, AND HER LORD.  It helped me understand that I needed to be filled with the love of God and be whole before that hole would be filled.  I was looking for love and to be accepted and man couldn't do that.  Good grief, I tried that route enough times.  God adopted me FIRST and gave me a sense of wholeness.  He accepted me where I was and lifted me to new heights encouraging me to be the woman He created me to be and to use the talents He gave me.  At this point, I was able to handle criticism, rejection, and the knowledge that it isn't always my fault...

When I finally "got it" that some rejections weren't my fault, it also gave way to the knowledge that some rejections were my fault and I needed to be brave enough to come clean and be open, honest, and truthful.  For years, I attended Alanon and after going through the steps, began to teach them.  It was really hard for me for a long time ... it's always easier to adopt the idea that my life was miserable because of "his drinking".  Nawww, the drinking and our problems were just a symptom of something deeper that needed to be addressed.  Then, I adopted the plan of the steps and also adopted God's way of life.  It has made all the difference!!  What peace it is NOT to be at war within myself!

I read Deuteronomy 19:17-20 today which is about civil laws.  I found it interesting that Moses (as speaker to the Israelites) addressed the subject of gossip and rumors.  In 19:15-19 it says, "Never convict anyone on the testimony of one witness.  There must be at least two, and three is even better.  If anyone gives false witness, claiming he has seen someone do wrong when he hasn't, both men shall be brought before the priests and judges on duty before the Lord at the time.  They must be closely questioned, and if the witness is lying, this penalty shall be the punishment he thought the other man would get."  How does this apply to adoption?  Well, think about it, so much of our perceptions of people comes from someone else's opinion.  We need to be careful!

I came across this beautiful ballad about adoption...please listen to the whole song as it truly does speak not only about adopting orphans but also about how God has adopted us!

Have a wonderful day, Readers ... Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!