Family is about leaving a legacy!

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Good Morning, Readers!  It's 1:54am and a new day is dawning. When I start thinking about my blog and a subject, it whirls around in my head until I put my hands to the keyboard. The house is quiet except for the whirrrr of the ceiling fan above me. Every now and then, I like to just sit and meditate.  I write down whatever comes to mind without dissecting it.  It is what it is...


Hmmm...let's see...  What if your doctor told you that you had only a few weeks to live and your pastor asked you to address your church.  What would you say?  Or, how about your family...  What would you say to them?  Would you mention God's provision and protection?  Would you talk about the people instrumental in your life?  My blog has been a way of leaving my legacy for my family and those who choose to follow my writings.  I am what I am ... I've walked this road of life and, believe me, have taken no short cuts.  As I stand naked before you, you see me as I am ... scarred physically, mentally and spiritually yet my heart beats loudly for my faith, my God, and for the things I believe in.  In so many ways, I am fortunate and I have been blessed beyond measure.

It says in Joshua Chapter 22:5  "...Love the Lord and follow his plan for your lives.  Cling to him and serve him enthusiastically."



Ernest Tillman Pederson 1918-1973

 My father went into the hospital in January of 1973 and died in March of the same year.  He had stomach cancer and only lived a few weeks after his diagnosis.  He was 55 years old.  I drove up to Minnesota from Texas to see him and the visit was hampered by the fact that my mother did not want anyone to tell him he had cancer.  He was in such pain and I'm sure he knew but he did not say anything...  I would leave his hospital room and sob.  There's so much I wanted to say to him but I honored my mother's wishes.  The day I left, I hugged him goodbye ... he sat up and waved to my little girls who were waiting in the car.  The last words he spoke were, "Tell Tom (my husband) that I'll be well enough to help with the farm sale in the Spring." It seemed so wrong not to give him the opportunity to say his goodbyes and for me to be able to say mine.  "See you..." just didn't seem appropriate...  Because of my history with him, I would have liked to hear him say that he loved me.  Words unspoken...love unknown...  We will have a lot to talk about in heaven.



Dottie 2/25/2011

 Sometimes I think I have been too open in writing about my fractured childhood and adult life but then, I remember my reason for starting this blog ... I want others to know that there is wholeness and having a life worth living.  There's a reason for lancing the boil of abuse, and allowing all the puss to drain ... We heal from the inside out.  Ask any wound specialist.  When we allow a scab to cover an inflamed wound, it continues to fester and can contaminate every organ in our bodies.  That's why people become alcoholics or addicts of any kind.  It's a numbing medicine.

In my case, I numbed my hurting heart and soul with men.  I kept looking for the love that I so deeply wanted.  The problem was, as the song goes, "I was looking for love in all the wrong places."  I am a word person so when someone said, "I love you" and, at first, treated me in a special way, I was hooked.  What a mess!  God didn't give up on me though and I didn't give up on Him.  He knew what happened to a tiny little girl and my life was "Father" filtered.  He protected my mind and I weathered the storms of life coming out on top.


Satan has been doing battle with me for a very long time.  I asked God to put me on the front lines for Him and sure enough, He has.  Ouch...Satan has hit me where I feel it the most:  church, family, friends, my pocket book, physical illness...  I talk back to him and stand my ground.  I am not afraid.



An Angel of Mercy

 When my daughter was running the 15K last Saturday and the man running beside her had a heart attack, she wondered if someone was waiting for him at the finish line.  She said he had on nice running clothes, expensive shoes and was wearing a wedding ring.  Tim said that when he registered Jane for the race, he had to give an emergency contact so hopefully, his family was notified soon after his attack.  We're hoping and praying that he is okay.  It really affected her though, just witnessing the event and giving him CPR.  That's trauma...  You just never know, do you?  We need to make the most of our days which includes speaking up ... we need to really talk to our families and let them know who we are, the roads we've traveled and how much we love them.

My life has changed so much since I started writing my blog.  I've experienced a tremendous amount of healing.  The process of "cleaning house" within myself has been a long process but, oh my gosh, how worth it!  When I hear people say "I can't", I will usually look them in the eye and say, "Well, that just means you aren't ready and you won't".  To sweep things under the rug invites people to trip over the lumps when enough gets shoved under.  It's your life and your choice!

This sums it up for me:  Joshua Chapter 24:15 "...But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

I pray that you will have a super day and that the sun will shine upon you wherever you go.  Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!