Win or Lose ... It's all in how you play the game!

I come to the garden alone...

It's an absolutely fabulous Fall day in North Texas.  I ventured outside to do my Bible reading and study of John, coffee and blanket in hand.  The morning sun warmed me up in a hurry and I actually went back inside to finish my studies.  I got some pinion wood yesterday so I plan on firing up the chiminea later this afternoon.  I feel almost giddy inside ... if life got any better I don't know what I'd do!!

I want to tell you something that I've been realizing lately.  When I started writing my blog, I had all this infection and pus inside my being.  I took a chance by opening up all the sores and draining them publicly.  It's been a long time of healing and removing the old tapes and replacing them with new ones.  I am a survivor ... not only am I survivor but also an overcomer ... not only am I an overcomer, I am truly joyful inside and out.  When the old tapes run, I immediately recognize them and stop them replacing them with truth.  For so many years, I wanted God to make me whole. He took His own sweet time but over the years, He flooded my life with mentors, studies, and gave me His Word to guide me.  I will be forever grateful!!

So often, we want to win.  We do everything in our power to win ... we sacrifice relationships, our jobs, our health just to stay on top.  Ever heard the saying, "He won the battle but lost the war."  Unfortunately, that's often the case.  In Alanon, there is a saying, "Let go and let God."  I believe that with all my heart.  There was a time in my life when things were so messed up that I became a control freak.  I knew best and didn't hesitate to let others know that I was on top of things.  I took care of everyone and everything.  I spent hours worrying because, after all, I knew what was best.  I think the term codependent fit me to a tee!  I was so busy running other people's lives that I didn't have time to look at me.

It took some pretty hard knocks to get me to realize that God was and is in control, not me.  He expected me to look at myself and fix me before fixing others.  Being stubborn and having abandonment issues, I had a tough go for many years.  "It" was always my fault so "it" was up to me to fix it.  If I couldn't, I was a failure. 

What finally got through to me?  Jesus did.  As I read the Bible, I looked at Jesus as the perfect example to follow.  What did He do?  He held out His hand and gave us all free will.  He didn't force me, yell at me, manipulate me or scare me.  He let me suffer the consequences of my actions whether positive or negative and was the perfect Father.  His word convicted me over and over again.  I finally dropped the pasted smile from my face and began to live life in total freedom.  I like to use the term "bidding" because, I ask for what I want.  I also have dropped my expectations of others allowing them to say yes, no, or maybe.

My old self used to feel so deflated when others hurt me by what they said or did.  Then, I remembered ... Jesus was perfect and He was loved by some and rejected by many.  When someone told me "no" I could accept their answer and move on and plan something else.  I had to be the woman God created me to be ... human, not perfect.  I also had to realize that there were consequences for my own responses to and behavior towards others.  I had to drop my own defensiveness and really listen to what others said to and about me.  Truth can sting but it's in truth and light that I walk.

These days, I know that I don't have to win every battle.  If I played by the rules of fairness and honesty, losing isn't necessarily a bad thing.  To lose may mean allowing someone else to save face ... to lose may mean learning a valuable lesson.  Yes, win or lose, I want to enjoy the game of life.  I know who I am and when I walk in the light, God has my back.

I am a gardener and I love everything about it.  I learn from the plants I put into the ground and realize that even when I fail to get the outcome I envisioned, I have enjoyed the journey.  This summer's drought took it's toll but the fresh air and rain in the fall have brought my plants back to life.  I walk among them praising them for hanging in there when they could have just as soon dropped over with heat exhaustion ... I am proud of my survivors!!

I hope that you have enjoyed a walk through my Fall garden today.  It's always nice visiting with you and sharing my thoughts!  I pray that you will have a beautiful day filled with love!!

Until tomorrow ... be safe in knowing that win or lose,

it's all in how you play the game!!