The Blind Side

 You are my hiding place...

01-11-2011

 January 11, 2012

Good Morning, Readers!  I have some blueberry sweet bread baking in the oven and some coffee almost ready.  Why don't you come on over and sit and spell and we can chat.  I've missed you over the past few days...

We've actually been experiencing Winter in Central Texas ... no snow, but cold and some windy sleety type rains.  The weeds in my back gardens at the little casa are popping up all over.  Aughhh...I need some grass!  Maybe I should toss some seeds of winter grass over the weeds??  Hmmm, something to think about.



Come on Michael, you can do this!

My broken toe still pretty sore and I'm staying off of it as much as possible.  I asked Michael if he would like to watch the movie, The Blind Side, with me.  He agreed.  I'm probably one of the last people to see the movie as it's been out for quite some time so by saying, it's a good one to see, I may be behind the times.

There was a lot of "meat" to the movie and it made me stop and think about a whole lot of issues.  In the beginning of the movie, the main character Michael Oher (Big Mike) had such a blank stare.  He seemed to be an empty shell of a boy just getting by, sleeping wherever, running away from foster homes, and being passed on in school rather than making sure he got an education and actually learned something.

Michael's luck changed when he was befriended by the Tuohy family.  Can you imagine seeing a boy walking by the side of the road shivery from the cold, stopping your car and inviting him to spend the night at your house.  That's just what Lee Anne Tuohy did.  She put aside her fears of what Big Mike might do to them and instead thought about what they could do for him.  Slowly, Michael became an important part of the family and was encouraged in his studies and ultimately his love of the game of football.  To make a long story short, Michael makes the journey from being a throw away kid to excelling in school to playing football for Ole Miss.  The final credits show the 2009 NFL drafting of Michael Ohr by the Baltimore Ravens.

So, what is the blind side?  It is the area outside the quarterback's vision - usually the area of defense will target in an attempt to sack the quarterback.  Michael played offensive tackle, a position this mild mannered boy could relate to because he thought of it as "protecting his family."  We have our own blind sides ... those moments in time when we have our backs turned and we are focusing on our task in front of us.

Where am I going with all of this?  We all need someone to protect our blind side ... the area where we can't see when we are in motion.  This concept filters throughout our world ... we all need advisers (people we trust) to look out for us.  If you are a husband you need your wife to have your back; a wife needs her husband to have her back; children need their parents...  But, what if you are like Michael Ohr and have no one to protect you or look out for you?  That's where God comes in.

When I was a little girl, I wandered the streets looking for adventure.  I had the freedom to explore anywhere my little legs would take me and learned to be street smart at a very young age ... to take care of myself.  Looking back, I can see that God had my blind side.  It was He who gave me my curiosity about Him and I looked for Him...  Was I ever angry with Him thinking He should have protected me from the blurred figure hurting me?  Was I ever angry with Him saying that my relationships with my mother and father weren't nurturing?  To be totally honest, I can't say that I was angry with God ... I WAS angry with me!  I was angry because in my own little mind, I was bad to the core.  I punished myself over and over...

When I started therapy in the mid 1980's, I was a study of contrasts.  I puzzled the therapists because I was not your stereotypical case.  I was high functioning, kind, and quite balanced in all areas of my life except one.  The darkness in my mind was so well buried that it took many many years of cleansing to completely drain the puss and give my problems a diagnosis ... post traumatic shock disorder stemming from trauma as a child.  You're probably asking why I thank God and am grateful...

First of all, God did have my back protecting me from the dangers of being on the move as a small child less than four years old.  Secondly, He kept my mind intact and, like Michael Ohr, I held no bitterness towards my abusers.  I shut my eyes and entered a world of my own where I was safe and secure.  Thirdly, He was brought my past to the surface only as I could handle it.  NOW, the past is but a fragment of who I am, and my heart, mind, and soul are filled with joy and wholeness.  Forgiving others was the easiest part of my journey; forgiving myself was and still is the most difficult.

As I relax and settle into slumber land, I am thinking about who I can encourage and whose blank stare I can fracture with arms of love...

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."

~~Mother Theresa