Who can I trust

January 29, 2012

It's a "good grief, Charlie Brown" kind of day.  I can't get warm this morning and my brain feels like it is twice it's normal size.  I went over to Beverly's yesterday and Iggy (cat) insisted on jumping up in my lap.  Iggy has had surgery and was on death's door so even though I didn't touch him, I allowed him to sit awhile.  Not a good thing for me to do since I am allergic.  Yesterday and today I have congestion.  I really need to just have Beverly come here.  With five cats in a house, I really feel it when I visit.  It's stupidity to "trust" that I won't get sick!!

Trust ... as babies, we come into the world trusting that someone will love us and care for us.  Sometimes that happens and sometimes not.  When I began writing my blogs, I had no reason to believe that I was not loved, wanted or cared for as an infant.  I truly believed in my heart of hearts that I was a baby born into the right family at the right time and that I could trust my parents to care for me.  Everything I have read and felt deep within me points to a well planned arrival and two doting parents.  I am deeply grateful for that...


Life is difficult at best and any change can be disabling.  We all face adversity in various forms and at different times in our lives.  In understanding my own mother and the stresses in her life, I became more compassionate towards her and towards myself.  The same is true of my father ... in understanding him, I began to feel a deep deep love for him.  Despite their frailties, they were and are my God given parents and whether they did a good job of raising me or not, they did shape the woman I have become.


Do I truly believe what I am writing?  There are no easy answers except to say quite truthfully that in forgiveness came peace and a letting go.  I could take the good parts of them (my tormentors), throw away their bad parts, and set myself free to become a new creation.  My own transformation has come at a price over a very long period of time.  There have been times when I didn't know who I could trust if anyone ... those were the toughest times ... times when I shut myself up and moved into my comfortable shell hoping no one would notice me.  Looking back, I can see that God was not content to allow me to get too complacent and cozy in my own mistrust of the world and everyone in it.


 Emotional pain may involve an unhappy marriage, divorce, a miscarried child, grief over a rebellious child, a controlling spouse or parent, a move, loss of a job/friend/spouse/family member, abuse ... the list goes on and on.  Some pain is sudden, traumatic and devastating -- wham bam events.  Other adversities are chronic, persistent, and seemingly designed to wear down our spirits over time -- our everyday stresses.  It is my opinion that no pain is unreal ... it stems from something.  Even hypochondriacs experience their own ills because of what is going on in the mind.  Again, it is my own opinion that hypochondria stems from trust and abandonment issues.

Today, we live under the threat of terrorism, earthquakes, famine, injustice of various and sundry kinds.  The newspapers are full of reports of a nuclear holocaust.  Trust?  Who do we trust?  The President?  The government?  Our families?  Friends?  Our bank accounts?  We have candidates vying to run in the Presidential Election ... who do we trust there?  Again, in my own opinion, at some time or another all of these will fail us.  Please think about this and dig deeper into your own thoughts.  Who will you trust and lean on if the nuclear bombs do come?  As for me, my trust comes from a living God.  Even, in times of trial, He has brought about good in my life.  I believe that without God's permission, President Obama would not be our present President.  I listened quite carefully to his State of the Union speech and found myself wanting to believe him just as I had when he was elected several years ago.  Then, I decided NOT to allow my feelings to rule my thinking and began to dig deeper.  The facts told another story.  I am encouraging all Americans to dig deep into the facts of what's REALLY going on in Washington.  What's happened to men and women of good character not only in Washington but in our country as well?  A man's handshake used to be his bond ... not today.  What we hear is often less than truth (manipulation) and we are being led to the slaughter.  The sad part is that, right now, we are all so oblivious.  That stinks!!



David spares King Saul...

Since I am writing this (mainly for my own family to know me and what I stand for), I do want to say this...  Remember the story of David and Saul in the Bible?  No matter how wicked Saul became, David respected him as his king and even when he had the chance to kill him, he didn't.  Instead, David allowed God to have His way with Saul.  That is where I am in life.  I don't like what is going on in the country I live in.  I am choosing to respect the President of the United States while he is in office AND I am becoming educated on who to vote for in the next election.  We must remember that we, the people, elected those in Washington.  It is US ... the people ... who must get our heads out of the ground, change from our own wicked ways and become smarter thus making better decisions!!  We must learn from our choices whether they be good or bad.

Nearly ten years ago I printed out the following and tacked it up over my desk at work.  Several times a day, I would look up and read it ... it is my hope that it will help you too.

Remember...God is in control:

1. When all seems lost, it isn't.
2. When no one seems to notice, they do.
3. When everything seems great, it isn't.
4. When nothing seems just, it is.
5. Things are seldom what they seem.
6. When God seems absent, He's present.
7. Momentous events often hinge upon the tiniest trivialities!

Have a wonderful day.  Always remember you are loved and prayed for!!